If you had to move one child from a school did you move the other?

[AnnieW625]

So both DH and I are very disappointed with the kindergarten program this year (Catholic school k-8 w/reasonable tuition and aftercare, $900 a month for both girls), it is really a lot of first grade work vs. kindergarten that we had with Dd1 four years ago. Dd2 wasn't completing her class work at first and we told her she needed to do it or she would start losing preveliges (gymnastics, and swim) and that helped with not having packets come home anymore. However the teacher still wanted to meet with us at the end of week 5 so DH met with her last week (week 6) and now the teacher wants to meet with us again because Dd2 had two incomplete class assignments this week, both includes cutting and pasting, and the one yesterday was kind of complex. So DH and I are at our wits end. Dd2 is more than ready for kindergarten and I am not sending her back to pre k as she wouldn't need it at pretty much any other school, even the top performing public schools in our district, which are sadly not our home schools and not convenient at all. I want to keep DD2 in Catholic school because she has really embraced the religion part of school (sings responsorial psalms, loves the contemporary Christian songs, and learning about God), but of course Catholic tuition at the other school I am looking at would be $4500 for the remainder of the year, plus another $1200 for aftercare (the tuition would be slightly cheaper if I did volunteer hours, but I am not sure I can do that at two schools), and would like to keep Dd1 where she is for this year and I know Dd1 would prefer to stay there through 8th grade, but we are being selfish and want a break on tuition at some point in their educations before college (we still haven't ruled out public middle or high school).

FWIW our home public school is a 5 on good schools, and the other public school is better, 8 I think but both schools would have an aftercare bill of about $650-$700 a month and if I have to pay that I would rather keep her in Catholic school.


Oh and meeting #4 with the teacher would be the conference in 3 weeks. I just don't know what they will want to hear by then.
So WWYD?

[egoldber]

This is a different K teacher than your older DD had?

What are other parents saying?

Does your school have a counselor?

I would specifically ask the teacher what she wants you to do. If her response is to have your kid do work at home that you feel is not appropriate, what happens if you flat out tell her that you will not be having your DD do this work?

Do you get that the teacher feels this is a discipline issue? Or is she trying to tell you she feels likes your DD has learning issues of some type?

[California]

What is the teacher like? Before switching, I wonder if you could figure out some modifications that would support DD2 in the classroom. I would try to identify a different goal for DD2 other than finishing the work. When I read your posts, as a side note, it brought back memories of teachers who've had an easier time accepting this kind of behavior from boys. Girls are "supposed" to be able to sit quietly and work. But developmentally as you are seeing not all of them can. It sounds like her teacher may be frustrated with DD2, and what is DD2 supposed to do? She can't suddenly change where she's at as a normal energetic kindergartner. If you can change the goals you can help the teacher and DD2 start feeling successful.
But first do you think you can-
1) Rule out vision/hearing issues
2) Rule out learning disabilities (some may be hard to identify in K, but you can generally tell if the student is struggling)

If 1&2 aren't the underlying cause, then ask the teacher about specific behaviors. Is DD2 getting up and walking around? Is she talking to other students? If that is the case the goal could be to slowly building up DD2's stamina. For instance, perhaps she could hand out the papers to get out some of her energy, sit down and work for 10 minutes, and then do a quick stretch and draw. If she can do that 10 minutes it's considered a success. Forget finishing the assignment and focus on learning how to sit still and work for ten minutes.

If DD2 is getting frustrated and giving up on the work, then would the teacher be willing to help her learn one skill at a time- how to cut, then cut and paste, etc. I think you mentioned DD2 had trouble cutting a past assignment, right? So that could add to her frustration. It'd be really helpful to know exactly what she's struggling with so she can get some extra practice with that skill.

[PZMommy]

I don't know about private school, but kindergarten has really changed in even four years. It is very academic and more what first grade used to be. Before pulling her out maybe see what other schools are doing in kindergarten.

[KpbS]

I would have both girls shadow at the potential school (new Catholic) and probably place both there. It is far easier to have both at one K-8 school than 2 different schools. I would also talk with the principal and new Kindy teacher before writing the deposit/application check to make sure their Kindergarten program was developmentally appropriate. Sadly, the one where your DD2 is now, is not! Sending big :hug:.

[daisysmom]

My younger sister went to a different school than the rest of me and my siblings. IT was just a better/different fit.
But for you, I would honestly be irked and I would push back to the teacher. I remember getting a comment about my DD in K (she is now in 3rd) at the second planned conference where the teacher said that she needs to work on finishing her work faster (the work was drawing projects). My DH told the teacher that he didn't agree with that - he said "we teach DD to do the best work she can do and to take her time, not to rush". I was a little surprised that DH said that, but the teacher didn't disagree (also a male teacher, maybe it was guy-speak that they agreed to disagree). But we have never gotten the comment since. I think DD probably did get a little bit more efficient, but I also think that teacher was more sensitive than the norm. I know people say that K has changed, and it has been 4 years since we were in K, but uggh, that makes me sad. Kids learn so much socially in K, they learn to read there and to write there, I hate this push to do more and more and faster and faster. You know the situation obviously and are intimitately involved, but from reading these, I would challenge the teacher more.

[JBaxter]

Are others having the same issues as your DD2. I will have to say that K & 1 are much harder and more involved than when my oldest 2 went.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd work on fixing the current situation. I'd like to hope you could make it a success.

[squimp]

Do you get that the teacher feels this is a discipline issue? Or is she trying to tell you she feels likes your DD has learning issues of some type?

These are the key questions IMO. In kindy if I was getting called in every week about missing assignments I would be very confused. What is the teacher wanting from you?

Do you feel like your two DDs are very different in terms of their education needs? For me, that would be the reason to have them at different schools.

[llama8]

Does your daughter have learning issues or is she struggling academically?

Both of my girls go to Catholic school and there have been one or two kids that turned out to have learning disabilities that the school could not keep. Catholic schools do not have the support services for special education that public schools do. They also tend to have a more rigorous curriculum. I would absolutely question the teacher. If they are calling you in for conferences, there is clearly something going on. If your child needs support services, you would be best off in public school, because chances are the second Catholic school could also not accommodate your child.

The key missing piece of information is if your child may have a learning disability or a major struggle in some way. Be clear and frank with the teacher and really try to get some answers. I wouldn't worry about moving your kids until you really get to the bottom of why your daughter is not able to complete her assignments. If the teacher recommends getting her evaluated...make sure you do it. The results of the evaluation may dictate what school you need to investigate next. Then you may need to make a decision about splitting up the kids.

[bisous]

These are the key questions IMO. In kindy if I was getting called in every week about missing assignments I would be very confused. What is the teacher wanting from you?

Do you feel like your two DDs are very different in terms of their education needs? For me, that would be the reason to have them at different schools.

Agree with this! What does she want to happen? Is she trying to get you to remove her from her class? CAN she do that? What's up with meeting you 4 times. It seems like she's not really communicating what she is expecting you to do or what she thinks will help your DD.

[Pear]

Did started K last year. At parent orientation they spent tons of time explaining how K was going to be different due to the new academic standards from common core. I would really investigate before moving schools because you may find the k curriculum similar.

[georgiegirl]

From your earlier posts, it seems like they have unreasonable expectations and do a lot of worksheets and busy work. Doesn't sound at all like Ds1's K experience last year. I would look into what other schools offer

[jren]

If you do decide to have them in different schools, I can tell you my experience. It can work, but is very exhausting for the parent. I did a lot of driving! Also, days off school didn't always match. Luckily spring break was the same, but was not the prior year. Also, I found that I was less involved in both schools since my time was split. I found a new school where they could both be together for this school year.


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[american_mama]

I think you are jumping the gun to think about switching schools. I think you need to work on the situation at hand. Your DD2 is just 7ish weeks into kindergarten. It is too early to say what the problem is - may be the type of assignments, may be the curriculum, may be the teacher's teaching or parent communication, may be your daughter.

My read was that the teacher may have unreasonable expectations, definitely seems to be overdoing the parent conference part of things, and your daughter may have trouble focusing in class. If it's the last, that doesn't mean learning disabilities.... it may just be her current maturity level.

I think you need to find out if the problem is that DD2 is not using her class time well and work on that, and/or come to an agreement with the teacher about more reasonable homework expectations. Remind her that you are happy to re-visit the topic at designated points... but it seems like this is just too early for the teacher to be on your case about how your DD is failing kindergarten (my words, granted.) If the teacher IS doing that, it should not drive you to a new school... it should drive you to the principal's office. October of kindergarten is just too early and too young to feel like nothing can be done to improve your daughter's experience at her current school.

[mikala]

I think you are jumping the gun to think about switching schools. I think you need to work on the situation at hand. Your DD2 is just 7ish weeks into kindergarten. It is too early to say what the problem is - may be the type of assignments, may be the curriculum, may be the teacher's teaching or parent communication, may be your daughter.

My read was that the teacher may have unreasonable expectations, definitely seems to be overdoing the parent conference part of things, and your daughter may have trouble focusing in class. If it's the last, that doesn't mean learning disabilities.... it may just be her current maturity level.

I think you need to find out if the problem is that DD2 is not using her class time well and work on that, and/or come to an agreement with the teacher about more reasonable homework expectations. Remind her that you are happy to re-visit the topic at designated points... but it seems like this is just too early for the teacher to be on your case about how your DD is failing kindergarten (my words, granted.) If the teacher IS doing that, it should not drive you to a new school... it should drive you to the principal's office. October of kindergarten is just too early and too young to feel like nothing can be done to improve your daughter's experience at her current school.
I totally agree with this. Its premature to focus on changing schools and I'd want to have a much better sense of the contributing factors before making a huge change that may not actually solve the problems.

[Hemlock]

I think you are jumping the gun to think about switching schools. I think you need to work on the situation at hand. Your DD2 is just 7ish weeks into kindergarten. It is too early to say what the problem is - may be the type of assignments, may be the curriculum, may be the teacher's teaching or parent communication, may be your daughter.

My read was that the teacher may have unreasonable expectations, definitely seems to be overdoing the parent conference part of things, and your daughter may have trouble focusing in class. If it's the last, that doesn't mean learning disabilities.... it may just be her current maturity level.

I think you need to find out if the problem is that DD2 is not using her class time well and work on that, and/or come to an agreement with the teacher about more reasonable homework expectations. Remind her that you are happy to re-visit the topic at designated points... but it seems like this is just too early for the teacher to be on your case about how your DD is failing kindergarten (my words, granted.) If the teacher IS doing that, it should not drive you to a new school... it should drive you to the principal's office. October of kindergarten is just too early and too young to feel like nothing can be done to improve your daughter's experience at her current school.

:yeahthat: Also wanted to add that when my son was in first grade, his teacher called me every few weeks about missing work, discipline issues,... DH and I could not understand what was going on. We thought that maybe the curriculum was too challenging (immersion program). We tried talking to him, taking away privileges... We even contemplated moving him to another non-immersion school. In Decemberof that year, I was at a birthday party for my son's classmate and just happened to stop and chat with a few mom's and found out that the teacher was calling ALL the parents. We toughed it out for the rest of the year and haven't had an issue since (my son is now in 10th grade)