mackmama
12-12-2015, 09:22 PM
DC is almost 5yo and is a bit perfectionistic. I've noticed it in the past, but it's happening a bit more now. Examples: quitting a video game when it gets hard or being quick to hand it over to me, getting too shy to talk in front of a group in fear of "saying the wrong thing," getting upset when an organized pile becomes unorganized because it's not perfect anymore, etc. It's not pervasive, and DC is perfectly capable of being messy and laid-back in many ways - but it's just something I'm starting to notice more.
I realize I've sometimes added to the problem by saying the wrong thing. For example, the other day we were drawing and writing. DC was getting very frustrated drawing letters and kept crumpling up the paper if the letters weren't "perfect." I wasn't saying anything, but then I heard myself say "Wow, that's a perfect R" when it was drawn well. I was trying to help and be supportive but then realized that my comment actually contributed to the problematic thinking. So I switched tactics to saying "you are really trying, and that's what's important, etc."
Any tips on how to help DC and this perfectionistic thinking? I want DC to know that it's okay to try, not do well, make mistakes, practice, get better, no one is good at all things, etc.
I realize I've sometimes added to the problem by saying the wrong thing. For example, the other day we were drawing and writing. DC was getting very frustrated drawing letters and kept crumpling up the paper if the letters weren't "perfect." I wasn't saying anything, but then I heard myself say "Wow, that's a perfect R" when it was drawn well. I was trying to help and be supportive but then realized that my comment actually contributed to the problematic thinking. So I switched tactics to saying "you are really trying, and that's what's important, etc."
Any tips on how to help DC and this perfectionistic thinking? I want DC to know that it's okay to try, not do well, make mistakes, practice, get better, no one is good at all things, etc.