My husband never ceases to amaze me.

[Chitowngirl]

Right now I feel like my husband is the most inconsiderate person in the whole world. I get that in his mind 90% of the childcare duties fall on me, but really?!?? You come downstairs this morning with DS, play trains for about 5 minutes, then go in the kitchen to make YOURSELF breakfast. How do I know it wasn't for both of them? Well, because you made eggs - which DS is allergic to. So DS had to come find me to make him breakfast. Really?!?! What adult sits there and makes food for himself without even thinking about his own son?!?!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[JBaxter]

Right now I feel like my husband is the most inconsiderate person in the whole world. I get that in his mind 90% of the childcare duties fall on me, but really?!?? You come downstairs this morning with DS, play trains for about 5 minutes, then go in the kitchen to make YOURSELF breakfast. How do I know it wasn't for both of them? Well, because you made eggs - which DS is allergic to. So DS had to come find me to make him breakfast. Really?!?! What adult sits there and makes food for himself without even thinking about his own son?!?!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Did you call him on his Sh1t? I'd have gone off on him

[Chitowngirl]

Did you call him on his Sh1t? I'd have gone off on him

I should have. I think I was just so shocked and annoyed! I need to be better about dealing with things when they happen so I can let them go instead of not saying something and then just being mad.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[SnuggleBuggles]

Does he have any redeeming qualities? I sure hope so. That was incredibly sucky.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[Mommy_Again]

I think it's a guy thing. I took one of our kids to a birthday party the other day- got home at 1:30 and DH hadn't fed lunch to the other two kids OR our brand new puppy. "I didn't know I was supposed to." It's amazing how men can be so accomplished in their professional lives but sometimes so clueless at home!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[KrisM]

Wow, that's crazy! I would have been upset for sure. Who doesn't feed kids??

[niccig]

I think it's a guy thing. I took one of our kids to a birthday party the other day- got home at 1:30 and DH hadn't fed lunch to the other two kids OR our brand new puppy. "I didn't know I was supposed to." It's amazing how men can be so accomplished in their professional lives but sometimes so clueless at home!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

I had spend the entire day 4 hours drive away for a conference. I was exhausted from the drive home, pick DS up at friend's house as DH was there to watch a sports game. As I drive off, 5 year old DS tells me he's hungry. It was 8pm and DH hadn't fed him dinner before going to the friend's house (there weren't there long before I got there). I call DH who says "DS didn't tell me he was hungry". Pretty sure our friends heard me through the phone. And it didn't happen again.

OP, you need to call him on this stuff when he does it, otherwise there won't be any change. And do less of the parenting when your DH is around, as in my experience DH never thought to do things as I had already done it.

[jgenie]

Sorry OP. My DH used to do this. He gets up early so I would send DC down when they would wake up. He would play with them and read to them but never thought to feed them. He just figured I would do it when it was time or they would tell him to stop playing because they were hungry. Umm nope. I left him to deal with cranky hungry kids a few times while I went grocery shopping instead of saving him and he finally got it. Hope you're DH figures it out.

[ChicagoNDMom]

Yikes, that is just plain rude and selfish. That would not be acceptable and I would not have been silent on this.

[petesgirl]

My DH used to forget mealtimes too when I was working. After several months of me texting him from work, reminding him to feed DS, he doesn't forget anymore.
Now, we need to work on him helping me get DS ready for outings. I manage to get myself and DS ready while DH sleeps or plays on his phone and then Finally gets himself ready 5 mins before we have to leave the house!

[jacksmomtobe]

Unfortunately my husband often makes himself something to eat and doesn't usually think about making the kids something too. They now think he isn't capable of making them anything including a bowl of cereal. :)

[khalloc]

my DH has done this. It's a guy thing. It's been a here and there thing. Happened a few times when DD was a toddler. He's gotten much better. So there's hope. I think in the first year or 2 of having kids he just didn't take care of her for long periods. Or if he did, I had given him instructions on meals. Then I can recall a few times where I just went out and came home and realized he hadn't fed her anything. She's 10 now and we have a 7 year old and I can barely remember when it happened. But they both tell you loud and clear when they are hungry now, or they just help themselves to something.

[Chitowngirl]

Thanks for the commiseration. I don't know whether to be happy I'm not alone in this is or shocked that so many men are like this. To me feeding your child - especially if you are hungry yourself - is just common sense.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[hbridge]

Thanks for the commiseration. I don't know whether to be happy I'm not alone in this is or shocked that so many men are like this. To me feeding your child - especially if you are hungry yourself - is just common sense.




Yep, I finally told DH to "feed the child when you feed yourself", followed by "change diapers every time you use the bathroom"! Those two "rules" seemed to have helped :).

[bisous]

Thanks for the commiseration. I don't know whether to be happy I'm not alone in this is or shocked that so many men are like this. To me feeding your child - especially if you are hungry yourself - is just common sense.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It does seem crazy. I've noticed that my DH actually needs to be told things like that! And he tries and is interested! But now he's been a parent for 12 years and he's been "trained" and is much, much better. Here's hoping your DH will "get it" soon!

[TwinFoxes]

Did you call him on his Sh1t? I'd have gone off on him

I'm with you. I don't agree it's a guy thing. My DH is a guy and manages to feed DDs. :) All by himself.

[daisysmom]

My husband also needs to be told. Now DD is almost 9 and I think it is up to her to ask DH to get her something to eat (or to just make it herself). But DH is the king of getting himself packed and ready for trips and would never think to ask if he could pack anything for DD. When I get irked he says "just tell me what you want me to do" and it becomes my fault. This is frankly how a lot of my friends' husbands are tho, and the wives (like me) multitask. But one beach trip I would love to just pack for myself and when it is time to go and he says "do you have DD's bag?" I could say "What? I didn't pack it. I thought you may."

[niccig]

Thanks for the commiseration. I don't know whether to be happy I'm not alone in this is or shocked that so many men are like this. To me feeding your child - especially if you are hungry yourself - is just common sense.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

It is common sense, I totally agree with you on that. But if your DH isn't doing it, then you need to tell him it's not OK and he needs to feed DC. If you don't say anything, then he'll continue on his merry way feeding himself and not DC. DH did it once and didn't do it again as I went ballistic on him. DS is also old enough now to tell DH he's hungry.

As for it being a guy thing, I think it's more of a family thing. In DH's family, no one asks anyone else if they want something to eat or a drink - everyone just helps themselves. DH's 2 sisters never ever help clean up after Thanksgiving or Christmas meal. They sit on the couch watching TV leaving it all to MIL. They can do this as MIL complains to others they don't help but she NEVER calls them on it. DH's aunt has told me that DH used to be on the couch with his sisters too, but now he helps as *I* won't tolerate him not helping out at home and it's transferred over to his mother's house. So I'm also making sure that DS asks other people if they want something when he gets it/helps out cooking and cleaning.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm with you. I don't agree it's a guy thing. My DH is a guy and manages to feed DDs. :) All by himself.

Totally agree. With the exception of dressing the kids in some ugly clothes combinations, he's always been a responsible parent. Don't let men off the hook by having low expectations. I guess you could walk him through the basics but they really will get it if given chances to succeed. My experience, at least.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[JBaxter]

I'm with you. I don't agree it's a guy thing. My DH is a guy and manages to feed DDs. :) All by himself.

Some men are stupid but once the angry mom calls him on his crap once mine remembers Ignoring it doesnt make it get better. I have mine trained to pack lunches and everything. :D ( as long as I do all his laundry)

[California]

Agree that it's a family thing, as guys can learn (and so can women!) to feed and care for children. If it was a genetic male trait children being raised by single men would either starve or become feral food scavengers, but they don't and can be raised quite well :-).

Chitown G, would it help if, instead of getting angry, you pointed out the consequences? My DC are bears if they don't eat. If your DC is the same way, maybe leaving DH to deal with the consequences of his actions would help him realize that it is far, far better to keep children fed and happy than to deal with a hangry kid!

[Corie]

I'm with you. I don't agree it's a guy thing. My DH is a guy and manages to feed DDs. :) All by himself.

I completely agree with you. My husband is able to cook/feed himself AND the kids.

[gymnbomb]

I completely agree with you. My husband is able to cook/feed himself AND the kids.

Mine can too, but he has the opposite problem. Food makes ds happy, so dh will over feed him. Always has. When he was just over 2 months old dh fed him 12 oz of breast milk while I was gone 4 hours to the theater with my mom. Plus I nursed him right before I left.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[squimp]

I agree that some people were not taught basic courtesy. Although it's the lack of common sense I question! Hopefully he can still learn!

[Kindra178]

I don't think it's a guy thing. I am sorry you are dealing with this. Things need to improve.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk