View Full Version : 2016 has just sucked so far. Dog died, kid got hurt...
California
02-02-2016, 07:03 PM
My doggie died. She was my sweet girl since before I ever had any kids, close to 15 years. We knew it was coming for about a year. She'd gotten incontinent, her back was acting up... it's been an intense experience taking care of her. But she was still happy, still spunky in the morning and still followed me around the house. For the last few months she's wanted to cuddle more than usual. My grief at least has no regrets, if that makes sense, because we had a full and loving relationship. But it's really getting to me that I have no control over when I'll cry!!! Random things will get to me.
To top it off DD injured herself. The pain is making her really grumpy. That on top of losing the dog and she's having a really hard time. She missed a week of school thanks to doctor visits and having to keep her foot elevated above her heart.
On the plus side, my coworkers and DH have been amazing! Today I'm not sure what I looked like, but our secretary came over and put her arms around me and told me to just cry and not worry about what anyone thought. She kept checking on me. And another co-worker brought her service-dog-in-training to my office so I could have some good cuddles with her giant lab. I don't want to cry at work but since I can't seem to help it at least they are all animal lovers, very understanding, and are being very protective of me!
babyonway
02-02-2016, 07:18 PM
I am so sorry California. You didn't ask but I am sending a virtual hug. Losing a pet is so so hard. It is great to hear that you have no regrets and awesome that those around you are so supportive.
I am so sorry for your loss!
SummerBaby
02-02-2016, 07:52 PM
I'm sorry about your dog! I hope your DD heals quickly and 2016 gets better for you.
StantonHyde
02-02-2016, 08:14 PM
awwww, that does suck. I am so glad your co-workers get it. Getting some doggy snuggles is very helpful!
BananaMama
02-02-2016, 08:35 PM
Hugs! Hope your daughter heals quickly. So very sorry about your dog.
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wendibird22
02-02-2016, 09:44 PM
Oh I'm so sorry. I'm glad you have sympathetic coworkers. Hope your DD is on the mend soon.
123LuckyMom
02-03-2016, 11:47 AM
Hugs to you! Losing a beloved pet is soooooo hard!
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ExcitedMamma
02-03-2016, 11:58 AM
So sorry for your loss! It's so nice to hear that you have wonderful people in your life that understand and are trying to be supportive! The year is still new so I hope it starts looking up soon.
daisysmom
02-03-2016, 12:21 PM
My almost 14.5 year old dog is dying too, a yellow lab, who has been my soul mate (no offense DH, but she was here before you) since she was a new puppy. It breaks my heart too. We too are dealing with incontinence now... but she also still seems happy and wags her tail when she sees me. She limps along, a torn ACL and a hurt back, tumors likely on her spleen, but eating fine and a big smile on her face. I don't mind taking care of her for her last several months... she took care of me for many years.
So I feel like I am a few steps behind you in pain, but I see it looming large in my future.
Have you thought about another dog? Our dog would not want us to grieve long, she would want our life filled with a puppy (and lots of comments about how much better behaved our passed dog was I am sure). Just think about it. Your dog would lick your tears, you do know that right.
kdeunc
02-03-2016, 12:53 PM
I am so sorry! Losing a pet is horrible and to have a hurt child on top of that is really bad. I hope that your 2016 gets better soon! Sending peace to your whole family.
Momit
02-03-2016, 01:02 PM
I'm so sorry. We lost our 16.5-year-old fur baby in May. I still cry several times a week, and the Facebook memories that pop up pictures of her when I'm not expecting it are tough. We are on our third foster dog since she passed away. It's nice to have the company of a dog in the house but I am so not ready to have our own dog again yet. Sorry about your DD's injury too. Hugs.
So sorry about your dog. Hopefully the year improves for you quickly!
California
02-03-2016, 06:46 PM
Thank you ladies so much for the kind words. I'm often on the other side of grief- helping to give support- and it's a different experience for me to receive it. It really does make a difference.
Daisymom, I'm sorry to hear about your dog. I grew up with labs and love the breed. With my dog (a lap dog, not a lab) we decided to have her euthanized at home. I'm just sharing this in case it helps you or anyone else. Last year my brother's dog was euthanized and it made me think about how we'd want to do this. I talked to her vet and made sure he could come over when the time came. I thought then I had more time, but am so glad I called him! It made it so peaceful. She stayed in my arms for the last couple of days before she passed. When the vet came over, my dog just stayed right where she was.
Before the time came, I really worried about how I'd know the right time to call the vet. It seems like that's a pretty common concern- I found a lot of guides online about quality of life. But what it came down to for us was that she quickly stopped eating, struggled to stay upright to go potty, seemed really mentally out of it, and had just started grimacing in discomfort when I would move her. I could tell she was only going to get more uncomfortable. She had different medical issues that we'd been trying to keep under control and I felt like she was telling us, "enough is enough!"
We do plan to eventually get another dog. We do have one- a dog I impulsively rescued from a high kill shelter when he was about to be killed- and he really needs a companion dog to make him feel more comfortable. We're not ready yet, though. It is so strange to me to have no control over when I'll get weepy. I want to get past that first and feel like we're back to normal. But I really look forward to a future new buddy!
JustMe
02-04-2016, 01:23 AM
I am so sorry about the loss of your dog and the awful start of the year for you.
I put my sweet cat down and in the Fall. Oh how I miss my "good child".
I hope 2016 starts showing you it's good side soon!
daisysmom
02-04-2016, 02:46 PM
Thank you ladies so much for the kind words. I'm often on the other side of grief- helping to give support- and it's a different experience for me to receive it. It really does make a difference.
Daisymom, I'm sorry to hear about your dog. I grew up with labs and love the breed. With my dog (a lap dog, not a lab) we decided to have her euthanized at home. I'm just sharing this in case it helps you or anyone else. Last year my brother's dog was euthanized and it made me think about how we'd want to do this. I talked to her vet and made sure he could come over when the time came. I thought then I had more time, but am so glad I called him! It made it so peaceful. She stayed in my arms for the last couple of days before she passed. When the vet came over, my dog just stayed right where she was.
Before the time came, I really worried about how I'd know the right time to call the vet. It seems like that's a pretty common concern- I found a lot of guides online about quality of life. But what it came down to for us was that she quickly stopped eating, struggled to stay upright to go potty, seemed really mentally out of it, and had just started grimacing in discomfort when I would move her. I could tell she was only going to get more uncomfortable. She had different medical issues that we'd been trying to keep under control and I felt like she was telling us, "enough is enough!"
We do plan to eventually get another dog. We do have one- a dog I impulsively rescued from a high kill shelter when he was about to be killed- and he really needs a companion dog to make him feel more comfortable. We're not ready yet, though. It is so strange to me to have no control over when I'll get weepy. I want to get past that first and feel like we're back to normal. But I really look forward to a future new buddy!
I really appreciate you sharing all of this information California. We have wondered if we would really know when the time could come to put our Daisy (our lab) down. We had a dog die naturally 8 years ago, and it was obvious that morning that we should put her down (she had a liver cyst that must have ruptured, and was bleeding internally, but my DH was 4 states away on a work trip and desperately wanted to fly home to see her so we did aggressive pain pills for a few hours until he flew home and she died naturally about an hour later). Our lab is currently still eating very well, but one vet told me that she may never lose that love of food :) Our vet doesn't euthanize at home (grrrrrr, I am mad about that, I would never chose a vet now who doesn't offer this service) but I really love our 24 hour emergency clinic so our plan is that when we know it is time, my DH and I should be able to get her in. The key is, as you say, being able to see that the sweetdog is trying to say "enough is enough".
We also have another dog, a chocolate lab mix that we adopted when our Daisy was 10 and got depressed when our human went to kindergarten and was not home with a nanny and lots of fun action. Our chocolate will have a tough time being an only dog. So we have a loose plan of waiting a month after our Daisy goes. But as you know too, you can't put a time on grief. It is just hard. Knowing and feeling this bond though, aren't you so glad that you had her in your life for so long? This is why when people say "should I get a dog" I am always so adamantly pro-dog ---- my life is so much richer and fuller with her love and devotion. Though losing her is devastating.
jacksmomtobe
02-06-2016, 08:21 AM
Sorry to hear about the loss of your dog. I know how tough that is to go through. At least you know you gave her a wonderful life and that she was appreciated up until the end. When I lost my first gal I got a mothers necklace (coincidentslly I has been thinking about getting one with kids' names right before she died suddenly) from etsy with one shape for my kids and another for our dog. It was very soothing to be able to touch something everyday that felt connected to her. I needed time to grieve but we eventually got another dog (who was originally supposed to be our 2nd dog to be #1s companion). It was hard for my son and I in particular but though I'm not religious I liked to think that bd1(beloved dog) picked our current dog out for us from heaven as she is very sweet overly loving dog.
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