View Full Version : Spinoff: What are your plans for your own eldercare?

03-03-2016, 12:23 AM
I'm curious how many of you have already made plans and what those are for your own eldercare? Looking at the options for DH and I, I am leaning away from an LTC policy--they are extremely $$ and the coverage is not like what they used to offer. Some online articles I've read have also come to similar conclusions about them for "most" people. But it is an important part of financial planning, and I do not want to burden my children in any way based on poor planning.

03-03-2016, 12:31 AM
Well DH will likely die well before me (he's very type A and always stressed out.). We haven't thought about any policies yet...just trying to save for retirement and the kids' college expenses. If we stay on track, we should have enough money for long term care. I'm hoping at least one of my three kids can help me out, not necessarily financially, but providing emotional support. Probably my middle child.

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03-03-2016, 01:06 AM
I went back to work to save more for retirement. I'm 5 years younger than DH and expect to keep working after her retires. We're still in our 40s so haven't considered any LTC policies. I agree with not placing burden on DS. I know 2 people whose parents moved into a retirement complex with different levels of care, I've told DH we should consider that option.

03-03-2016, 02:04 PM
DH and I are in our mid 40's and have funded our retirement plans, so that is something. I inherited half of my dad's retirement plan when he died suddenly so that pretty much covered it in one quick moment. DH sold his company and put even more in retirement for us. But he recently found out that the company he sold to which he now works for has an excellent pension plan once your are fully vested (can remember how long). He had planned on retiring early but is now considering staying because of the excellent pension. We have life insurance, short term and long term disability insurance (provided by the company). We have a will. I'm not sure what else we really need right now, it feels like we are still a long way away from needing elder care.

03-03-2016, 02:52 PM
Saving for retirement and money to make personal health care decisions (instead of feeling forced into a system) are what we have done.

But maybe more importantly, we are trying to prioritize our health now in our 40s by losing weight and exercising our bodies and minds. We are both doing "team sports" ourselves, in an effort to feel connected in groups other than family or work groups. We have read a lot about dementia and Alzheimers since both of DH's parents suffered and died from this - so we eat lots of blueberries and walnuts, and eliminated most processed foods, sugars and grains (along lines of the theory that Alheimer's is "type 3" diabetes). WE read Wheat Belly and Grain Brain.

Having watched DH go through the decline of his parents and the tremendous burden that put on him and his siblings, we are adamant that our DD never have to go through this. My parents have the same philosophy and knock on wood, are in pretty good health and have full mental capacity right now. But I think they have a plan on what to do should that change. Some of DH's friends joke around that if anyone of them lose their minds, they might all go hunting and there may be an unfortunate hunting accident. You never know until you go through this first hand how hard it is on children/caregivers.

03-04-2016, 07:45 PM
Beyond planning for retirement, we haven't done much. We'll have 2 pensions (military, and public servant), and then whatever I have in my retirement account. It should keep our standard of living about the same.

We bought a "forever house" planning on being here, well, forever. We purposely made sure we could get a wheelchair through the doorways, it's all 1 level, and it can easily be fitted for grab bars and such.

DD(12) currently expects to move in with us when we're old, LOL, and has told us this, "because Sis 1 and Sis 2 have husbands, and kids, and I don't, and I'll live longer than them, so I'll just move back in. But don't worry, my kids can have my room until I need to move back into it."

FIL and step-MIL both died very suddenly and unexpectedly in the last 3 years. Thankfully, they had some serious foresight, and they had pre-planned everything about their final wishes. DH and I have discussed getting our final affairs all figured out to ease the burden on the kids, but we have yet to do anything beyond choosing where we want to be buried. We need to get on this, as it gives me great anxiety not having it done.

03-17-2016, 12:07 PM
I meant to write thank you to all of you who posted, and was waiting to see if more would respond. I enjoyed reading your plans and thoughts about the issue, and I learned a lot, too. I totally agree that prioritizing our health now is key in planning for eldercare. Also, to update all of you, from the research I've done, I have decided against a long term care policy. The companies selling these seem to be in a huge financial mess right now, and one recently lost a lawsuit from their shareholders. They are increasing people's premiums like crazy, and their policies are becoming more and more restrictive and full of caveats.

03-23-2016, 01:40 PM
We haven't made any plans yet, but looking at my dad, and at MIL (who also has Alzheimer's), the biggest thing is that we don't want to burden our kids. It's a crapshoot as to which one of us is more at risk for this. But Dh made it clear that he didn't want to be kept around, and that if the money is fine, to put him in a home. When I asked if that's what he was going to do with me, he said, "whatever it is that you want, you have to tell me." For him, if he started getting too impaired, his plan is to leave the house in the middle of a blizzard, or go climbing on some ridiculous expedition. And no, he's not joking.