4 yr old potty question

[flashy09]

My DD1 was 4 in December and has been having a hard time at school with the "#2" on the potty. Many times I pick her up and she is absolutely desperate to go. When I ask her why she didn't go at school, she says it's because her teachers don't help her wipe and her hands got messy or she sat for a long time waiting. I asked the teachers at the conferences if they help the kids with wiping and they don't. She is my first so I am new at this. Is 4 the right age to wipe their own bums? She gets the idea, but I don't feel like she would do a very thorough job. Is that normal? Is this something I have missed the boat on? I am thinking so because I know I started Kindergarten at just turned 5 and definitely did my own wiping.

[PZMommy]

I know at my son's schools, once they move out of the 3yr old room, the teachers are not allowed to help with wiping. It is a regulations thing. I always tell my DS to try his best, and then just clean him at home. Typically he doesn't go until to night time, so it usually isn't a problem.

[ArizonaGirl]

I know at my son's schools, once they move out of the 3yr old room, the teachers are not allowed to help with wiping. It is a regulations thing. I always tell my DS to try his best, and then just clean him at home. Typically he doesn't go until to night time, so it usually isn't a problem.

:yeahthat:

[flashy09]

She is technically in the 3 yr old room as there is an 8/1 cutoff. But maybe that is the case because I know she can't wear a pull up at nap time (which is no big deal now, but I was nervous in August about it) because of regulations. I will go ahead and really try to teach her. I haven't bothered much at all yet! It does make me nervous because she had a ton of E coli related UTI's as a 2/3 yr old and even had the kidney reflux test and I feel like she needs to be extra careful. I was always educated and aware of how to wipe and even started laying her down on the changing table during the worst of it, so the thought of her wiping herself is a little nerve wracking, especially hearing how she describes her attempts!

[HannaAddict]

Most kids are older when they are able to effectively wipe themselves but preschools can't wipe them. Totally common for mine to want to race home or go potty first thing when I picked them up. I would make sure she can use the potty first thing at pick up and also try and encourage her to go before school if she can.


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[lalasmama]

Totally common... It's regulation based (them not being able to help wipe at a certain age). I think 5 years is when most kids are "effective enough" assuming no other issues. With our grandsons, we just make sure to wipe them extra well at home. Yes, there's stripes in their undies. And sometimes they get a little rash... We just make sure to wipe them extra good at home.

[petesgirl]

My DS will be 5 in July, starting K in the fall, and still calls for me to wipe him! I know I have to teach him but I keep putting it off, and honestly, it is one reason I'm glad that his K will only be 1/2 day!

[Snow mom]

I think both the school being unable to help and a four year old being unable to do it themselves are common issues. I was just thinking about this the other day because DS will start preschool in the fall and I need to start working with him about wiping himself. I'd be more worried that she's holding it then that she can't wipe effectively. Personally I'd have her start wiping at home and talk to her about her fears. With DD we had her use more toilet paper than an adult would (maybe six squares per wipe?) and look at what she had wiped each time. So she'd take six squares, wipe, check if the TP was clean or not, and repeat until she saw the TP was clean. I figure the better efficiency comes with time. I'd also emphasize that if her undies get a little dirty they can be washed. This is something she's not magically going to get perfect at without practice.