Journaling

[lalasmama]

I can't remember where I heard the suggestion recently, but someone was talking about a mother-daughter journal. I'm really making a concentrated effort to be a better parent; I definitely struggle with youngest DD. DD and I tend to be at odds with one another because she's so much like me. She's snarky when she's upset, she's dramatic, and she's trying to find her place in the world, and just in life. I know, I know, typical 12yo things!

At any rate, I bought http://www.amazon.com/Just-Between-Us-No-Stress-No-Rules/dp/0811868958/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1459215869&sr=1-1&keywords=just+between+us+mother+and+daughter+journ al this journal. DD was rather unimpressed initially with the idea, thinking it was going to be like homework. But then she looked through the journal on her own, and we chatted about the logistics at bedtime--I'd do the first entry, she'd do the response, then she would do an entry, and I'd do the response. We decided to leave it on each other's bed when we finished our part so that we could find it easily and know when it was ready for us to look at. So, at bed time, DH says, "Are you looking forward to the journal?" and DD says, "Yeah, it sounds okay." Her dimples rarely come out lately--that's her "true smile"--and they were out there as she was trying to sound kind of blasé about the whole journaling idea.

Last night was "20 facts about me..." and she has written her response already (same thing--20 things about her), and did an entry about something else. I haven't looked yet. But, she was so excited to see me, to let me know she saw the journal, and she couldn't finish her chores fast enough to have some time with the journal.

While it's definitely not a "cure" for our relationship, I'm feeling like this is an easy thing we can do to start to reconnect a bit more, even when we're fussy at each other!

[trcy]

I love this idea. DD is only 5, so still a bit young. But I am going to remember this when she gets older.


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[Twoboos]

I'm pretty sure I have this in my amazon cart from when it was first recommended! Maybe it's time to finally get it, DD1 is 12 now. Thanks for the reminder! I hope it keeps going well for you. :)

[missym]

DD1 and I have been enjoying this journal a lot, too. Our entries are a bit hit or miss - we both sort of forget about it for a while, then pick it up again. I think it's a great way to connect and will also be a nice keepsake.

[newnana]

We use that journal. DD and I looked through it online together and a few other choices and landed on that one. I've mentioned it a few times in the lounge, most recently regarding that thread about the tween DD not wanting to talk about developing and how we use it to talk about things that we may not want to say. For us we leave it on each others nightstand and the other person has 48 hours to reply in writing. I leave it to DD if she wants to talk about it out loud and she will sometimes write that if there is something hard but she wants to talk and is struggling with starting the conversation to give me an opening. Knowing me, I first got the idea from this board as well, but know it's been years.

We try to keep as many lines of communication open to DD. Sometimes I'll send her something on her iPad. Sometimes the jounal, sometimes talking. So that one day when it's hard to say something to our faces, she will know there are other ways to say the hard stuff.

[Liziz]

This is cool. I had a notebook I passed back and forth with my mom when I was growing up. For us, we mostly just used it when we were fighting -- we are very alike and would lose our cool too easily when we talked in person. But we could write back and forth and I think it was a great thing for us. I'll have to remember this for when my DD gets older -- because she is also very like me and I think that she and I will have many of the same types of struggles I had with my mom!