Babysitter wants to potty train DS at night?

[Still-in-Shock]

We have a sitter 3X a week in the evenings. She is devoted to DS, and DS adores her. He has stayed overnight at her place twice. At 2.5, he is still being potty trained at day care. He is pretty good at urinating in the toilet and letting someone know beforehand, except when he just wakes up in the morning and after his nap.

Our babysitter has told us we should try to take him to the toilet in the middle of the night, without totally waking him up. Just turn on the light in the bathroom so he will get his aim right, then put a diaper on him again and take him back to bed. She also wants to have him sleep at her place 3 nights in a row, so she can do this with him, so that afterward, he will be uncomfortable with a wet diaper, and will learn to go in the middle of the night by himself.

I am totally uncomfortable with this, so I called my Mom and my sister to ask what they thought. And I am asking all of you too.

I am not convinced that he is totally ready to go all night without diapers, and I don't like rushing a child who isn't ready, within reason. And I'm not convinced that I want a child under 3 wandering around the house while I'm asleep. (I am a light sleeper, so I most likely would hear him, but if I am sick or out late, DH will sleep thru everything.) I also think that he shouldn't spend a lot of time away from us unless it's an emergency, and I don't this qualifies.

I don't think I am an overprotective mother, but if I being silly, just say so.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I don't like it. He's not even 3. What's the rush? Lots of kids night train later.
And I'm far from paranoid and alarmist but I see no reason why your sitter has to take him to her house. Why can't she do it at your house if she really wants to try? I just don't get it.


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[123LuckyMom]

Her method is absolutely, entirely legitimate. It's physically prudent, too, because it doesn't ask a small child to hold his urine through an entire night. It's also not rushing the process if your child is ready, which it seems he is, because he is already day trained and not at all protesting using the potty. If I were you, I would jump at the chance for this kind of help! My son was fully 3.5 until I could potty train him, and I had to sort of outsource it to my cousin who is a child development expert and came for an extended stay. She accomplished in three days what it might have taken me another half year or longer to do. My daughter basically self trained at 2.5. Im not sure why you're uncomfortable, but if it's only to do with his age, the method, or the outsourcing, I would urge you to overcome your fears. If it's something else, like having your child spend the night in a place that's unfamiliar to you, that's a different story.


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[Cam&Clay]

No. For a million reasons NO.

I've never heard of that method of night-training on a child that young and certainly wouldn't allow him to spend the night with her for 3 nights to have him train that way.

[Philly Mom]

No. For a million reasons NO.

I've never heard of that method of night-training on a child that young and certainly wouldn't allow him to spend the night with her for 3 nights to have him train that way.

I agree and I am the least paranoid parent I know.


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[kep]

Nope. Children all train at different ages. I think it's fantastic that he is doing so well at 2.5 years, because honestly even that seems early, especially for boys. It is completely normal for kids to night train months, even years after they are fully day trained. I can't imagine any reason why your DS would need to stay over at her house overnight, three nights in a row, especially at 2.5! It's way out of my comfort zone. Also, I would not willingly wake my sleeping toddler at that age to go potty at night. I am way too lazy. Somehow, all of my children has potty trained within a reasonable time frame. Sleep is really important around here.

[Smillow]

No. For a million reasons NO.

I've never heard of that method of night-training on a child that young and certainly wouldn't allow him to spend the night with her for 3 nights to have him train that way.

A big "Yeah, that!" from me, too. Don't let someone else make that decision for you. It so isn't her place to suggest this.

[Snow mom]

This is a crazy theory. Taking a child to the potty three nights in a row doesn't magically night train them. DS will go up to six nights without wetting his nighttime diaper and guess what, the feeling of his diaper being dry for six nights doesn't stop him from wetting on the seventh night. Taking a child to potty in the middle of the night may lead to them waking up dry the next morning but it's not a long lasting effect. Plus, if she's saying he won't even wake up/know, how will he suddenly know to get up to use the bathroom in the middle of the night? I guess that's a long winded no, nope, nope from me.

[lalasmama]

As with most of the others, I'd be very hesitant, for a number of reasons. I wouldn't want my child away for 3 nights for "no reason" beyond potty training. If she was watching kiddo and you guys were going on a long weekend, that would be different, but it doesn't sound like that's the plan. AAP (American Academy of Pediatrics) notes that it can take a child months to *years* after day-time training to be night-time trained. Believe me, I understand the drive to get kids out of diapers--each weekend, we have 2 in pull-ups, and 1 in diapers, and still wake up to a soaked bed (thankful for mattress pads). But, there's not a reason to rush it, and, developmentally, it is not common for boys (or girls!) to be reliably night-trained at 2.5yo. I also wouldn't want to make it a potential control issue, or a time when the child is sad that he couldn't remain dry as hoped for.

[hillview]

Nope not worth it. Let him day train and eventually he will be night trained. He is very young. The having him sleep at her place to train is nuts.

[Katigre]

I've only had one child who didn't night train when they day trained (all within a few months of turning 2), so I can't figure out why it wouldn't be a good thing to night train too? (Though I'm not sure how you'd do that - mine were just dry at night and we peed first thing in the morning, and if they woke up at night it was b/c they had to pee so we brought them to the bathroom.

But your sitter doesn't need to do it - you can do it for sure. It seems weird she'd offer unless something about your DS peeing in a diaper at night is inconveniencing her.

[georgiegirl]

Sounds like a bad idea. He's so young. Many kids aren't able to go diaper free until 7+. I don't see the problem with wearing a diaper at night. I always waited until my kids were dry 10 days or so at night before switching them to underwear. Unless you like doing lots of laundry, I'd wait until he was ready.



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[Still-in-Shock]

Thanks everyone, for all your info, and for helping me regain my confidence. As 123LuckyMom said, it is a method that is used, and under the right circumstances with the right child, it could be useful. But I am not convinced my child is right for this, since he has only been using the potty regularly for a few weeks, and occasionally still doesn't want to for me and my husband. DH says the sitter is trying to impress us, but that isn't how I see it.

[mikala]

Another vote for no. He seems really young and I'm uncomfortable with unnecessary overnights with a babysitter. It seems like a solution looking for a problem that diesnt exist yet. I'd also be concerned it could weaken their relationship, make him resist going to her and you could lose a good sitter out of the deal.

Fwiw I'm in the camp of some kids are biologically ready to stay dry through the night at different ages. One of my kids night trained at the same time he day trained and just refused to put on a diaper at night and we were done. No accidents, no training really. My other child day trained much much easier but was in pull ups at night for several months. The second child drinks more water during the day and seems to sleep more deeply at night. We tried a dream pee but it just didn't work well for him and he just needed to grow a bit before the pull ups stayed dry on their own.

[gymnbomb]

Personally, I would NEVER get my 2 year old out of bed in the middle of the night unless the house was on fire or we had to go catch an early morning airplane! He sleeps very well, but if you touch him he is wide awake and may or may not decide to go back to sleep. Sleep (for both him and us) is much more important to me than going diaper free at night.

[petesgirl]

Personally, I would NEVER get my 2 year old out of bed in the middle of the night unless the house was on fire or we had to go catch an early morning airplane! He sleeps very well, but if you touch him he is wide awake and may or may not decide to go back to sleep. Sleep (for both him and us) is much more important to me than going diaper free at night.

This is me too! DS is still in diapers at night and waking him up in the middle of the night would be a total disaster. Also, I have my doubts it would really work in 3 nights and then you would have to get yourself and him up in the middle of the night to continue the training.
Why does she care anyway, is my question?

[specialp]

Nope not worth it. Let him day train and eventually he will be night trained. He is very young. The having him sleep at her place to train is nuts.

:yeah that: He doesn't sound completely day trained yet. The wake up method I would use when older, but not 2.5 and newly potty trained.

[HannaAddict]

This sounds totally strange to me and I would never do this and I would never want a sitter to do this to my child. And at 2 and a half, he is early for boys to potty train in general and I wouldn't push it. If he's doing fine and not stressed out with day time potty training, that is great. But I wouldn't even wake up an older child for this plan. And no way would I let me small toddler go to a sitter's house overnight for potty training. All sorts of weird alarm bells go off for me with this. Even if she only means to do this it still seems unnecessary and not healthy, you are his mom. He is only 2 and half, why on earth does he need to be trained like this. Listen to your gut instinct which says "NO!" and don't ignore or override it. You thought it sounded odd and not a a good idea and you were right. He's doing fine, just let him mature. Hang in there and trust your instincts.


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[Still-in-Shock]

UPDATE: I told DH I was uncomfortable, and he agreed that this is not something we wanted, but mostly because he doesn't want to get up in the middle of the night to potty train.:rolleyes: We told the babysitter we did not want this, and so far, things are fine.

Most vacation day care situations want children potty trained, and they normally start at 3, so I understand pushing children a little. This went beyond that though.
I am not sure if our sitter really believes he is ready, or she wants extra $.