View Full Version : Internet usage/rules?

06-19-2016, 01:49 AM
What are your internet rules for your tween when there is access on their phone?

DD just finished 6th grade. We enabled Safari (iOS browser) as she has asked questions that are easily googled...

Now, we're trying to figure out appropriate limits.

06-19-2016, 09:29 AM
I don't have any. But, he hasn't given me any reason to want to set rules. If I noticed something inappropriate, we'd talk about it and go from there.

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06-19-2016, 10:49 AM
I limit access by putting the kids on the guest network. I can turn it off and on easily from an app on my phone, which DH and I have access through the main network which always stays on. Also, I put restrictions on their iThings.

06-19-2016, 03:49 PM
I don't have any. But, he hasn't given me any reason to want to set rules. If I noticed something inappropriate, we'd talk about it and go from there.

Same here. Can I guarantee she's not seeing things she shouldn't? No...but at this point I'm still OK. As with many things depends on the kid.

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06-21-2016, 01:25 PM
YouTube is the only site that is not to be used without adult permission in our house for the kids. I tried to block it on our computer using Apple's website blocker and it ended up blocking a lot of other sites that DD1 needed for school. The penalty for using YouTube without asking parents first is no iPad/computer/iPod time for one day, if it happens again the same week it is three days and a third time it is a week. I have only had to dole out 3 days once to Dd1. Most of the time Dd1 just uses game sites like kizi (although aome of the games are a little suspect and I tell her to turn them off), abcya, Sushi Cats, and American Girl.

Dd2 just plays abcya.

06-21-2016, 01:41 PM
DS1 just finished 6th grade, too. I've had numerous conversations with him about being internet-responsible. I've told him to never click on stuff that isn't what he searched for. I told him if he Googles certain things, it will put us on a government watch list and could get us in a lot of trouble (he was researching chemical reactions for his science fair project and kept stumbling on illegal things like dry ice bombs, pipe bombs, etc.) He knows to ask us if he wants yo look something up that could be questionable. But he is my rule-follower kid...

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10-02-2016, 11:53 PM
I am SOOO happy to find this thread/section. I was just looking up issues related to this and of course should have thought to check here! We started out with this site 12 years ago when I was pregnant and still rely on it for important info today!

Our ds11 is in his 1st month of middle school. I have already heard about/had to deal with too many things that I am not ready for. Today I found a few searches on YouTube for kissing which led to some inappropriate choices (even though I had restrictions turned on), and that he had tried to disable the restrictions. I also saw that he is texting about a girl. And then checked some of his apps and saw that he has been chatting (a bit) in Roblox.

I have taken the phone for now so I can think, research, ensure it is more safe before I give it back and talk to him about limits, trust, ,etc. again.

How much do I monitor to allow for some privacy while keeping him safe?

Is there a good way to monitor?

Are there any other apps that I may be missing? He is not allowed SnapChat, Musically, Instagram, FB, etc.

Thank you all so much for your help and advice in this new and challenging territory!


10-03-2016, 12:20 AM
My DD is 13, in 8th grade. She has an iphone with unlimited data (that my xhusband gave her and pays for). She has instagram and snapchat (yes I know many here do not agree with kids having it, for now I am comfortable with it). At any time I can access her phone and I go through her pics and have checked up randomly what she sends, mostly because I'm curious what she is writing all the time, and boy does she use the word LEGIT and LIT a lot lol! We have a very open relationship, we talk about everything and she asks a lot of questions which I appreciate. At this time we are going with trusting her and constantly discussing the ramifications of texting and sending any type of pics over the internet. She has her first "boyfriend", he is the same age as her, they are at different schools, his dad is DS's hockey coach and our two families know each other. She and said boyfriend text a lot and his texts go to his mom's account too (apparently the are pretty boring so far!). I had a great day today with both of them, and we are very open with both of them about what our expectations are and they do not get to spend much time alone at all, except in very public places. So our approach with real life and "electronic" parenting is that we have very specific expectations, are trying to teach respect and responsibilty and will deal with issues as they arise. I do not believe in completely restricting access as they will find a way to look and I know of of few kids who's parents do not allow access and their kids have been able to find stuff anyway and it really backfired on them. You have to do what is best for your child and your family as you know them best.

10-03-2016, 07:41 AM
Such a timely thread! DD (9) has my old iPod touch. She has used it to access craft-making videos and American girl doll videos. She hasn't seemed to overuse it so we didn't put limits around it.

BUT- 2 nights ago she wanted to talk to me at bedtime bc she was feeling guilty about Internet use. She told me her friend had told her about a YouTube channel of a high school girl that turned out to be too "grown up." Turns out this meant the crafts were things like how to cut out your tshirt to make a crop top.

I probed for any more inappropriateness and DD said no, I think the sexy tshirt was the worst.

She was feeling so guilty though, and I was realizing she could view so much without our knowledge , I told her I'd turn off th wifi on her Touch, and that she'd have to ask for the "family iPad" to watch craft videos.

Still feel like I need to figure out how to navigate this better as she gets older

10-03-2016, 12:48 PM
Glad to see this thread has been revived. DDs both have phones with internet but they do not have snapchat, instagram, etc.. I've told them the rules of those sites are that you have to be 13... which DD1 will be in a month! <gulp> So I need to figure something out with this. I told her I'll be the first person she "friends' on these sites, LOL.

She is seriously one of the last girls to get these apps, most have that them for years. She actually snuck instagram once, got to some inappropriate stuff and panicked about her "digital footprint" and how there would be a record forever of what she looked at. Which I didn't exactly deny. :p But hopefully that experience will keep her on the straight and narrow, and we'll be talking about expectations going forward.

10-03-2016, 03:10 PM
I seriously wish I could throw it all in the trash! Our DD had some mental health issues and social media, texting, internet just plays into her issues. We've had to severely restrict access until she's healthier. Luckily she understands and agrees. For reference, we've also had to pull her out of school, so it's pretty severe right now. But even in the best of mental states, adolescence is made tougher by social media. I never fretted over whether a friend texted me back, and had no way of knowing who was hanging out with who.

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