Opinions please: Only taking one kid

[megs4413]

So, I really want to take just my oldest to WDW sometime this year. Just her and I.

BUT, how hard would that be on my other kids? is it not fair? I wouldn't be planning to take the other kids any time soon. We've been on 3 trips to WDW as a family, though DD2 has only been on one because she wasn't born yet for the other two.

Thoughts?

[SnuggleBuggles]

I took ds1 to NYC. It is a trip I plan to do with just ds2 in the future. That made things all good with ds2. If you won't reciprocate in some way, that's a different story.


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[Liziz]

My parents did a special one on one trip with each of the kids in my family. (So I've taken two "special" trips -- one that was just my mom and I, one that was just my dad and I. they did the same thing with my siblings.) The trips were not all the same, nor were they even all equivalent in value or time spent. But they were all trips that were meaningful to us. I have extraordinarily good memories of those trips. It gave me special time with my parents in a way I didn't normally get (even though we're a very close family). I think it's a great idea and you should do it. Plan to do something with your younger children at a later date -- you don't have to commit to what that will be now, nor even worry about it being fair (life isn't fair, and I don't think we do our kids favors by trying to make everything exactly equal). Your two yo is too little to care much yet, but just explain to your 9 year old that in a few years you'll plan a special trip with him. It will be a special time for you and your DD.

[daisysmom]

My parents did this with us (4 kids) and I have a few friends IRL that do this with their kids too. Not at all unusual. But I do think it would be hard if you didn't tell all the kids that each of them will have a special grip like this at X age.

[KrisM]

I think it depends on the reasons. Why just the 2 of you? Why not plan to do it for the siblings in a few years? Do you do other things with just one child?

DS1 and I went to Universal. There are no plans to do anything similar with the other kids. But, we were there for a National Tournament and just stayed an extra night so we could go to Universal. So far, there hasn't been a reason for me to do anything similar with the others, but if they were to do something like that, we would go for sure.

[georgiegirl]

I know my middle child would freak out if he wasn't included. Unless I had firm plans to take him somewhere alone, I would never head the end of it.


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[trcy]

I wouldn't, unless you were able to do something equally as special with the others. Something similar happened to my cousin and me (it was not even as special as WDW) and we were both very hurt.


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[gatorsmom]

I know my middle child would freak out if he wasn't included. Unless I had firm plans to take him somewhere alone, I would never head the end of it.


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ITA. Each of our kids gets to go on a special trip with Dh for their First Communion gift. My older 2 boys flew with Dh to spend time with the cousins. Dd and I drive with her class friends and their mom to Chicago to see the Joffre ballet and stay at the Four Seasons. Ds3 says he wants to do a family trip for his special trip.

Each time a kid left, the other ones whined constantly about how they couldn't wait til it was their turn and was I sure they were going to get their turn??

I wouldn't take only one kid unless you want hurt feelings with the other kids.

[123LuckyMom]

I'm sorry, but there's NO WAY I'd take only one child to Disney. It's not a movie and ice cream! It's a big deal trip. What you absolutely could do is plan a family Disney trip and have special one-on-one time with each child while there, even a full day of one-on-one. For our family, though, Disney is just too special a trip. There isn't another trip that would compare. The only way I could see that working is if each child can get a trip of equivalent value at that age-- like a family tradition that each kid gets a trip with Mom when s/he turns x age. If they each choose Disney, so be it. Even with that plan, though, I can't see the other kids not feeling resentful. I wouldn't do it. I'd go as a family and have one-on-one time with each child while there.


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[klwa]

My parents did a special one on one trip with each of the kids in my family. (So I've taken two "special" trips -- one that was just my mom and I, one that was just my dad and I. they did the same thing with my siblings.) The trips were not all the same, nor were they even all equivalent in value or time spent. But they were all trips that were meaningful to us. I have extraordinarily good memories of those trips. It gave me special time with my parents in a way I didn't normally get (even though we're a very close family). I think it's a great idea and you should do it. Plan to do something with your younger children at a later date -- you don't have to commit to what that will be now, nor even worry about it being fair (life isn't fair, and I don't think we do our kids favors by trying to make everything exactly equal). Your two yo is too little to care much yet, but just explain to your 9 year old that in a few years you'll plan a special trip with him. It will be a special time for you and your DD.
:yeahthat: If it's phrased as, "Each of you will have a special Mommy & me trip to celebrate turning 12, and YOU get to pick where!" then I think it's okay. I wouldn't do it, though if I wasn't prepared to follow through with that.

[Melaine]

I would never do this because I am pretty sure our family dynamic would implode, but I realize it would be perfectly acceptable for lots of families. With the identical twin thing, even taking one kid out for ice cream is more trouble than it's worth.

[SummerBaby]

ITA agree with this. My girls are 9 and 12 and my 9 year old would never get over it if I took just her sister to Disney. Never. She would be crushed.

I'm sorry, but there's NO WAY I'd take only one child to Disney. It's not a movie and ice cream! It's a big deal trip. What you absolutely could do is plan a family Disney trip and have special one-on-one time with each child while there, even a full day of one-on-one. For our family, though, Disney is just too special a trip. There isn't another trip that would compare. The only way I could see that working is if each child can get a trip of equivalent value at that age-- like a family tradition that each kid gets a trip with Mom when s/he turns x age. If they each choose Disney, so be it. Even with that plan, though, I can't see the other kids not feeling resentful. I wouldn't do it. I'd go as a family and have one-on-one time with each child while there.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

I don't understand why it doesn't work for each family to have a special trip with each kid. That just seems very fair to me. Everyone should be allowed to have special events and memories. Eta- I mean, I "get it" but I wouldnt cater to the complaints especially when a fair opportunity awaits.

Eta- in our family, ds2 has been looking forward to his solo trip. He might have been salty when we went but now is really excited about his trip.
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[Green_Tea]

Unless you plan to take each of your kids to Disney on their own, and have a timeline for doing so (13th birthday or something) there is no way I would do this. I am all for special trips, and did one with my oldest in February, but the other two know they will also get a turn, and when.

[acmom]

I think solo trips could work and would love to do something special with each of mine, but for our family, I don't think there is anyway it would work with disney. We have been several times as a family and while we do some separate things, it is very much a "family " trip. Thhey would both be devastated if only one went. I don't even think the one going would like it as much.


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[ray7694]

It depends if your family is used to doing solo trips or not. We only do family trips so that would never be something I would myself even want to do. When I'm gone I miss my dog like crazy and can't imagine leaving one of my kiddos.

[belovedgandp]

Did you decide? I vaguely remembered seeing this thread, but then just this week I've gone from thinking about to completely booking a trip for just DD and I.

Her two older brothers are going skiing with DH in February. I was debating being good and visiting my brother and family (niece and nephew are close in age to DD), but then decided we should do something fun. So we're going to WDW. Just the two of us. We went in February 2015 as a family (including extended family) and the boys had gone three years before when DD was 18 months and stayed with Grandma.

We've done a few other solo trips. DS1 has had two ski trips with just DH. DH has taken combination of kids camping. We're not telling them any of this is happening until at least Christmas, so we'll see how it goes. The boys do know we have plans to go back to Florida in a couple of years for Universal and the Star Wars stuff at Studios.

[megs4413]

Did you decide? I vaguely remembered seeing this thread, but then just this week I've gone from thinking about to completely booking a trip for just DD and I.

Her two older brothers are going skiing with DH in February. I was debating being good and visiting my brother and family (niece and nephew are close in age to DD), but then decided we should do something fun. So we're going to WDW. Just the two of us. We went in February 2015 as a family (including extended family) and the boys had gone three years before when DD was 18 months and stayed with Grandma.

We've done a few other solo trips. DS1 has had two ski trips with just DH. DH has taken combination of kids camping. We're not telling them any of this is happening until at least Christmas, so we'll see how it goes. The boys do know we have plans to go back to Florida in a couple of years for Universal and the Star Wars stuff at Studios.

I think I'm going to do it. It came up originally because I want to go again, but DS doesn't. I really want a vacation for myself and it would be super fun to take DD1 on my own. I don't think DS would mind since we just went and he's not really interested in going again. DD2 is too young to be a factor in the decision, IMO. I'm thinking we may go around Christmas. We'll see!

[123LuckyMom]

I think I'm going to do it. It came up originally because I want to go again, but DS doesn't. I really want a vacation for myself and it would be super fun to take DD1 on my own. I don't think DS would mind since we just went and he's not really interested in going again. DD2 is too young to be a factor in the decision, IMO. I'm thinking we may go around Christmas. We'll see!

If your son really doesn't want to go, then take your DD and have a great time!!!


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[belovedgandp]

I think I'm going to do it. It came up originally because I want to go again, but DS doesn't. I really want a vacation for myself and it would be super fun to take DD1 on my own. I don't think DS would mind since we just went and he's not really interested in going again. DD2 is too young to be a factor in the decision, IMO. I'm thinking we may go around Christmas. We'll see!

Enjoy! Hope it works out for you. This will be our shortest trip with just 4 nights and 3 1/2 days at the parks. Should be just right to focus on the things I know she'll enjoy.