JustMe
09-03-2016, 11:20 AM
I find myself being confused on multiple occasions on my role with ds' friends. I don't know why this did not come up as much with dd, but it didn't. Most of the time its around when they have their own money. Here is an example
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Ds and his friend are 10. We invite ds' friend along to go the a local pool with us, and pick him up around 1:30. Friend's mom says that friend did not eat lunch, apologizes (I wasn't sure what she was apologizing for), and says he has enough money for pool admission and snacks. No problem. In the car, friend mentions he just had cake for breakfast and laughs. The pool has a concession that sells food and snacks. The boys swim for a while and then friend buys himself and ds ice cream. (Its a very crowded at the pool, and I do my best to track kids but I really can't see them all of the time--everyone who lives here knows that--so I didn't see them buy the ice cream). They swim for a while again. This time I see them on the concession line. Friend buys himself a huge icey thing with ice cream on the bottom.
Would you have intervened in any of this? What I know about his mom is that she is an involved and caring mom. When the boys first became friends about 2 years ago, she grilled me about safety issues before letting her son come to my house.
I did not intervene with what the friend bought, my rationale being that his mom didn't ask me to limit him in any way, but I felt really guilty and wondered if I should have said something when I saw them on the concession stand the second time. The issue about him buying ds ice cream is a whole other story in that ds frequently gets his friends to buy him things, but I have more or a sense of how I want to deal with ds than how to deal with his friends..so that is just backstory.
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Ds and his friend are 10. We invite ds' friend along to go the a local pool with us, and pick him up around 1:30. Friend's mom says that friend did not eat lunch, apologizes (I wasn't sure what she was apologizing for), and says he has enough money for pool admission and snacks. No problem. In the car, friend mentions he just had cake for breakfast and laughs. The pool has a concession that sells food and snacks. The boys swim for a while and then friend buys himself and ds ice cream. (Its a very crowded at the pool, and I do my best to track kids but I really can't see them all of the time--everyone who lives here knows that--so I didn't see them buy the ice cream). They swim for a while again. This time I see them on the concession line. Friend buys himself a huge icey thing with ice cream on the bottom.
Would you have intervened in any of this? What I know about his mom is that she is an involved and caring mom. When the boys first became friends about 2 years ago, she grilled me about safety issues before letting her son come to my house.
I did not intervene with what the friend bought, my rationale being that his mom didn't ask me to limit him in any way, but I felt really guilty and wondered if I should have said something when I saw them on the concession stand the second time. The issue about him buying ds ice cream is a whole other story in that ds frequently gets his friends to buy him things, but I have more or a sense of how I want to deal with ds than how to deal with his friends..so that is just backstory.