Would you sit separately from an 11 and 14 year old at a concert

[JustMe]

So, one of dd's favorite artists will be playing at a city 2 hrs away from us this coming summer. Ds loves this artist too. When the tickets went on sale dd was very excited and insistent we go. I was okay with it. The regular tickets for the 3 of us were very far away from the stage. There were some "platinum" tickets available that were more money but not prohibitive. For some reason, they only sold them in groups of 2 (I could not buy 3 for the 3 of us). I had to make a decision quickly as tickets were selling. Ds said he didn't want me to buy him a ticket, he doesn't really want to go. Now, I know this was because ds is more aware of money realities. He also wanted to make his sister happy. He loves this artist. I asked him several times, he stayed consistent and I bought 2 tickets--for dd and myself.

I am now regretting this. I feel bad about leaving ds out. We will be staying the night as well, as I don't really want to drive home that late after a concert. Ds loves staying in hotels. Ds knew all this and still said no thanks to the concert. It doesn't seem right though and dd is more assertive about her wants in this way. OTOH, ds does feel he gets less than her--her just doesn't always express it at the most appropriate times. I am tempted to buy myself a not so good ticket and let the kids sit together and I sit apart from them. They will be 11 and 14 by then. The venue holds about 20,000.

Of course, if ds continues to outwardly refuse I would not..but if he is okay with it..would you do this?

Or should I just hold ds to his word and maybe do something else with him?

[baymom]

I've never really been in this situation, but I *think* I'd be okay with it. I'd make sure at least one child had a cell phone and they stayed together at all times and then I'd be okay sitting apart from them. It sounds like your son would really enjoy the experience so much and is just trying to be 'mature' about money. But, if you can swing it, it'd be a great memory for all of you. In this situation, I wouldn't hold ds to his word. At 11 and 14, I think they'd be fine sitting apart from you.

[cuca_]

My DH recently did this with our two kids (similar ages to yours), and it was fine. I don't think their venue was as big, though. They sat at different levels, but our kids where within DHs eyesight.


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[Green_Tea]

Are they able to text you? If yes, I would be OK with them sitting alone.

[JustMe]

Thanks for the replies! Yes, I would give them a phone for them to call or text, but I will say its loud enough during a concert there that I wouldn't hear the phone.

Anyway, ds is adamant that he doesn't want to go. He would only go if he can sit next to me...just not sure what to do. It seems weird to tell him he has to go, especially since he knows he does not have a ticket at this point..but it feels like he has no idea what he is actually setting himself up for. I am all for learning from mistakes and him learning from the decisions he make..but this may be a really hard one for him and he just may not have the maturity to make this kind of decision (even thought its really mature in some ways).

[RiverRat]

Could you buy another group of two tickets and let one of them bring a friend? Or is there a friend of yours that could sit with you? Then it would be like a group thing instead of a one person out thing.


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[jren]

For a show at the theater, yes. For a music concert, no. I think I'm thinking of concerts that I went to as a teen. Lots of drugs being passed around all around us, rowdy behavior, drunks, etc. Maybe things have changed though?


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[trcy]

For a show at the theater, yes. For a music concert, no. I think I'm thinking of concerts that I went to as a teen. Lots of drugs being passed around all around us, rowdy behavior, drunks, etc. Maybe things have changed though?


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This was my thoughts as well.


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[cuca_]

I would listen to him. Honestly I am not a fan of concerts. Every time I go to one, I think to myself, this is the last one, no matter how much I like the artist. Has he been to one? Maybe music concerts are not his thing.

[hillview]

I'd not have him go if he doesn't want to go and not sweat it. You've asked enough.

If they both wanted to go I likely would let them sit together -- but it really depends on the child and their ability to deal with different situations.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Can you take him on a one on one hotel outing sometime?


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[JustMe]

Thanks for the replies. He still says he doesn't want me to buy him a ticket, so I guess he's not going.

A trip with just him and me is probably not a choice due to things I won't get into about dd, but I will figure out something he wants to do next summer that is within reason and make that happen.

[123LuckyMom]

Thanks for the replies. He still says he doesn't want me to buy him a ticket, so I guess he's not going.

A trip with just him and me is probably not a choice due to things I won't get into about dd, but I will figure out something he wants to do next summer that is within reason and make that happen.

That's a good idea. You asked him many times, and he said he didn't want to go. Take him at his word, and give him a treat that would be special for him at another time.


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[AnnieW625]

Are they able to text you? If yes, I would be OK with them sitting alone.

:yeahthat: as long as you are in the same section area and can meet up at the intermission if there is one or during the breaks between the opening acts.

If your DS is okay with not going then do something special with him only at a later date. I know for sure my 12 yr. old brother would have loved to see Bruce Springsteen with me and my dad when I was 15, but he didn't pitch a fit and they did something else with just the two of them later on.

[ahisma]

I don't know that I'd rely on a cell phone at that large of a venue. Sometimes you can't get a signal, or the towers are overloaded.

[JustMe]

An update to this thread is that I just ended up buying a single ticket for myself and ds and dd will use the tickets I bought previously. The opening act was announced and its someone ds really likes, so I really wanted him to come (and he agreed). They are sitting in the next section to me, so I felt it was close enough and am hoping it will all work out and we can find each other easily after the show. I guess we will make a plan on where to meet at intermission as well as them having a cell phone to text/call with.

[baymom]

Great update--sounds like a good plan and a night you will all enjoy and remember!!