Would this bother you?

[bisous]

My sweet grandma, who I posted about here after her fall and loss of speech, passed away a few weeks ago. :(

This weekend was her funeral. I spoke at it and my siblings and cousins were responsible for providing some music. They did an amazing job and the musical arrangement (3 violins and a cello) was one of the prettiest I have ever heard. I could not stop tearing up. I ran into a friend at the Halloween parade yesterday and she mentioned that she had heard the music because her aunt snapchatted it during the funeral in our church's chapel. I'm trying to be cool about the whole thing, I don't think it was done with intent to be rude but the whole thing strikes me as a little uncouth. Snapchatting somebody's funeral in a sacred place (where cameras generally aren't allowed) because it had pretty music?

Let me reiterate that I'm not angry. It just feels a little strange and invasive to me. I could see the aunt and had no idea that she was recording.

[marymoo86]

Seems out of place and wholly inappropriate.

[twowhat?]

It does seem odd to me, and if I were the friend I wouldn't have brought that up.

However, the aunt recorded the music because it was amazing and she wants a token to remember it by. And the friend mentioned it because she thought it would be nice to say a little more about how lovely the funeral was.

I am very sorry for your loss!!!

[Corie]

Seems out of place and wholly inappropriate.

Yes, I agree.

[catsnkid]

I had a facebook friend live stream on facebook the funeral procession of a family member, but I think it was more so people who couldn't be there could see. But snap chatting to a friend, I see that as different, it's my opinion you should be paying attention, not operating a device.

[Philly Mom]

Seems out of place and wholly inappropriate.

I agree. I would be annoyed and probably angry. I am so sorry for your loss.


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[trcy]

I am so sorry for your loss. And, yes, that would bother me.


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[ett]

The snapchatting part would bother me. If she was recording it just as a token to remember it by (and cameras were allowed), I would probably be okay with it.

So sorry for your loss.

[twowhat?]

The snapchatting part would bother me. If she was recording it just as a token to remember it by (and cameras were allowed), I would probably be okay with it.

So sorry for your loss.

I'm re-thinking this because I don't know how snapchat works...it is like FB or twitter where you post something that is seen by all your followers? If so, OK...that's inappropriate. I still agree with you though that she didn't do it to be rude. Her way of expressing her own emotions, I guess.

[boogiemom]

Seems out of place and wholly inappropriate.

100% agree


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[lalasmama]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

It would bother me, yes. Not enough to say anything, but to quietly be bugged.

[petesgirl]

Aw, I'm sorry to hear about your grandma. I hope she was able to have a peaceful passing and that your family can find comfort in your memories of her.

I agree--that is inappropriate and I would be annoyed too.

[KpbS]

It is not appropriate behavior, but I would either try to forget she mentioned it to you or try to take the spirit of what she said, the music was amazingly beautiful and she was glad to have experienced it.

I'm sorry for your loss.

[Kindra178]

I am sorry for your loss. I guess it wouldn't bother me, unless there was some bad intent there.

[bisous]

Thank you for your opinions. I guess I just need to be thinking that anything I'm doing any time could be secretly recorded and snapchatted. I felt a little violated because we were all really grieving and I thought I was in a safe place to do so. I didn't realize that I was being broadcast!

[squimp]

I would be upset too, that seems like a violation if it included your words. Sharing the music would not bother me.

[Liziz]

I'm so sorry for your loss. Wishing you comfort and sweet memories.

I think you have every right to feel upset, taken aback, angry. It wasn't appropriate at all.

[mackmama]

This would bother me, as well, and seems disrespectful.

[khm]

It seems disrespectful to me, too.

Sadly, I saw some very iffy behavior on social media when a cousin died very unexpectedly. Not Snapchatting, but Facebook posts before the news had any conceivable chance to make it to her family. People were immediately messaging her young teen STEPCHILDREN for information. Horrible.

Out of town relatives found out by waking up to Facebook RIPs and You'll Be Missed with her name tagged by local "friends" who heard first on Facebook and on Instagram. It was awful.

So, while I'm sad about what happened at your grandmother's funeral, I'm not at all surprised and I foresee similar things continuing to happen with all of the various social media platforms.

Hopefully her intent was kind, I'm very sorry for your loss.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[BunnyBee]

Snapchat? At a funeral? So inappropriate. Is she a Kardashian? I'd be less surprised if it had been a young person, but someone's aunt should know better!

I'm so sorry for your loss. :hug:

[123LuckyMom]

Thank you for your opinions. I guess I just need to be thinking that anything I'm doing any time could be secretly recorded and snapchatted. I felt a little violated because we were all really grieving and I thought I was in a safe place to do so. I didn't realize that I was being broadcast!

Of course! I completely understand! Filming in a house of worship without having been asked to do so is completely inappropriate, especially at an occasion like a funeral. I would feel the same.

I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother's passing. From the way you described her, she seemed like a beautiful human being. I'm sure you feel her loss very deeply. Thank you for sharing a bit about her here, though. I had been praying for her, and you, and your mother and other family, and I'll continue to do so.


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[California]

How old is the aunt? I'm finding that my younger cousins have a very different perspective on recordings, as they have grown up immersed in shared media. It sounds like the aunt found this meaningful and wanted to share it with others who weren't there. Unintentionally hurtful, and if you can, it seems to me it'll be better for you, not counting the aunt, if you let it go and just try to appreciate that she came to the service. You've got enough on your shoulders grieving your beloved, wonderful grandma.

[HannaAddict]

I don't think it is weird, I think she probably was really touched and wanted to preserve or share it. But I did think my FIL hiring a videographer for my MIL's funeral and then sending the link to endure the incredibly long service was very odd. She wasn't a celebrity so don't get videographer for entire service - that was bizarre.

[ChicagoNDMom]

But HannaAddict, there is a big difference between the next of kin hiring a videographer to recall all the aspects of the service that they might have missed in their grief and someone live streaming without asking permission of the next of kin for entertainment purposes (liked the music).

[HannaAddict]

But HannaAddict, there is a big difference between the next of kin hiring a videographer to recall all the aspects of the service that they might have missed in their grief and someone live streaming without asking permission of the next of kin for entertainment purposes (liked the music).

I truly doubt it was for "entertainment purposes" as it was a funeral. Don't think it was that odd but do think a hours long video of a funeral for a person is bizarre - complete with evangelical lounge style singer and pinky ring. It was bizarre and people thought it odd.


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[khm]

Doesn't snapchat stream then disappear? I dunno. It doesn't seem the right way to preserve anything.

I think some are addicted to putting stuff out on social media. The less run of the mill the situation the better. So I can see some less than pure motivation. Depends who her audience is I guess. Still would make me sad that my private grief is being viewed on people's phones as they go about their day.

[bisous]

I'm having a hard time getting over this. I guess it just bothers me! The person who was snapchatting is part of a really prominent family in our faith community (HUGE extended family) and she wasn't good friends with my grandma (they were friends--just not close). I really don't think that she was being mean at all and I do think that she didn't mean to offend so I'm trying to focus on that. I am bothered that she would comment (to her large extended family) about my grandmother's funeral, even if it was in a positive manner. It feels gossipy.

I'm having a hard time coming to the BBB after posting this. It isn't rational and nobody in this thread was anything but kind and understanding. I can't explain it. Maybe it is a weird coping mechanism for her loss.

I'm trying to work through this. Thank you all for your kind words. I'm going to keep coming here and try to feel through the whole thing.

[Liziz]

I'm having a hard time getting over this. I guess it just bothers me! The person who was snapchatting is part of a really prominent family in our faith community (HUGE extended family) and she wasn't good friends with my grandma (they were friends--just not close). I really don't think that she was being mean at all and I do think that she didn't mean to offend so I'm trying to focus on that. I am bothered that she would comment (to her large extended family) about my grandmother's funeral, even if it was in a positive manner. It feels gossipy.

I'm having a hard time coming to the BBB after posting this. It isn't rational and nobody in this thread was anything but kind and understanding. I can't explain it. Maybe it is a weird coping mechanism for her loss.

I'm trying to work through this. Thank you all for your kind words. I'm going to keep coming here and try to feel through the whole thing.

Oh, please don't stop coming here! Whenever I see your name I know I'm going to see a really thoughtful, wise post/reply/suggestion. I value you here! I'm so sorry you're dealing with the situation though -- the loss of a beloved family member is such a personal, emotional thing -- it's not fair that she invaded on that. Sending you hugs and wishes for peace.