So it starts

[chottumommy]

I wasn't sure whether to post in the bitching forum but I also need advice, so here it goes.

DS1 bikes to school when the weather is good. He has done it since 1st grade. Today also happened to be bike/walk to school so he biked. I was getting late, so I drove with DS2. Apparently as he was passing by the last house in our neighborhood, a man standing in the yard yelled something like "Time to go back home, Muslim". DS1 didn't understand it but our next door neighbor who was on his usual morning run happened to catch the words, told him off and ran with DS1 all the way to school.

The couple in that house are middle-aged, never come to any community events and have a fairly run down house compared to rest in the neighborhood. Our neighbor called me to let me know of this incident and volunteered to walk/drop the kids off every morning if I was busy. He didn't feel it safe right now for the kids to go out by themselves. The rest of our neighborhood is also Deans, retired professors and university folks who for most parts are very progressive.

I am so sad and scared. We live in a small college town in Oregon with a very highly educated population. My kids school is diverse ( in terms of people from different countries) but is mostly white. I personally have never heard any racist comments.

Anyway, DH is in Europe for the week, left in the morning. I'm alone with the kids and I don't know what to do next. Complain to the police (it was not a threat, but definitely a veiled threat) or let it go. The kids won't be home till I get back. Our nanny will pick them up from school and take them for swim.

And BTW we are not Muslim, not that it matters.

[bisous]

I wasn't sure whether to post in the bitching forum but I also need advice, so here it goes.

DS1 bikes to school when the weather is good. He has done it since 1st grade. Today also happened to be bike/walk to school so he biked. I was getting late, so I drove with DS2. Apparently as he was passing by the last house in our neighborhood, a man standing in the yard yelled something like "Time to go back home, Muslim". DS1 didn't understand it but our next door neighbor who was on his usual morning run happened to catch the words, told him off and ran with DS1 all the way to school.

The couple in that house are middle-aged, never come to any community events and have a fairly run down house compared to rest in the neighborhood. Our neighbor called me to let me know of this incident and volunteered to walk/drop the kids off every morning if I was busy. He didn't feel it safe right now for the kids to go out by themselves. The rest of our neighborhood is also Deans, retired professors and university folks who for most parts are very progressive.

I am so sad and scared. We live in a small college town in Oregon with a very highly educated population. My kids school is diverse ( in terms of people from different countries) but is mostly white. I personally have never heard any racist comments.

Anyway, DH is in Europe for the week, I'm alone with the kids and I don't know what to do next. Complain to the police (it was not a threat, but definitely a veiled threat) or let it go. The kids won't be home till I get back. Our nanny will pick them up from school and take them for swim.

And BTW we are not Muslim, not that it matters.

That is horrifying. I can't believe it. :( I don't even know what to tell you. I'll pray for your safety and that of your family.

[sariana]

No advice, but I am so very sorry that happened to you son. And so thankful for your other neighbor for stepping up and doing the right thing.

You may want to let the police know just so they can keep a written record. Let them decide what to do with the information. And maybe they'll have some advice for you.

[Globetrotter]

I'm so so sorry. This is my fear too, because people I know have been experiencing these incidents in the past year, even in our liberal area. It really makes you think.
I think you should report it to the police. I don't know if they would do anything about it, to be honest, but I do think that we need to start reporting these incidents. My friends didn't, but then how do we track them? take care

[robinsmommy]

I agree that hard as it is, calling the police to establish a record of what happened is important.

Emotions are running high today, hopefully it was a one-time incident.

Maybe talk with your other neighbors, so they know to keep an eye open? And trust in the fact that from what you say, the rest of the people around you are decent, good people who care for your family.

[Philly Mom]

I am so sorry, and I am not sure what I would do. How horrible to be alone right now and I am so glad your neighbor was near by. Part of me would want to tell the police and part of me would want to confront the neighbor myself. I don't think I could stay quiet.

[rin]

I am so sorry. Have you spoken to your DS yet? I would call the police; I feel like this kind of behavior, if unchecked, will only get worse.

My sister's close friend from college (who happens to be Muslim and wears a headscarf) called her this morning crying; apparently she was walking to work this morning and had some men call out to her "Isis b**ch".

[chottumommy]

I didn't get a chance to speak to DS but did send an email to the school counselor who will be talking to DS. He is tough and doesn't get phased. I'll have a conversation with him at bedtime. I need to prepare myself else I'll breakdown. I called the police and noted down the complaint.

My neighbor sent out an email to our neighborhood mailing list (after asking permission) to let everyone know about the incident and keep a watch out . However I didn't realize DH was on it too. I was hoping I would talk to him later in the day when he reaches Portugal.

I can only imagine how hard it would be for Muslim who wears a headscarf or needs to ask permission to pray etc..

[georgiegirl]

How sad and scary. You were right to report it to the police.


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[umsh]

I'm so sad this happened to your DS...so grateful you had a kind neighbor who was there. Thi is exactly the kind of thing we were all worried about...



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[wendibird22]

I am so very sorry to read this. How horrible.

I work on a college campus and have outreached to half a dozen Muslim students who did not feel safe enough to come to campus today. And those are the students who actually contacted someone (staff or professor) to share their fear. I know there are many, many more.

[khm]

I'm so sorry!

Locally, two police officers were killed last week by someone with racist ideologies. He went to high school football games with a full-size confederate flag and sought out the black students to sit in front of and take selfies. The school banned him from the property and police escorted him off the property. He recorded it and posted it and the selfies to youtube saying how his rights were violated.

A month later, he killed 2 officers by unloading dozens of rounds as they sat alone in their separate patrol cars at night. (These were not the officers who escorted him off the property, it appears he just randomly picked them.)

Today, school counselors at a nearby school are reporting some kids are throwing cotton balls on the floor and telling the black kids to "pick the cotton". Of all the times one would have hoped we'd have heightened racial sensitivity. I mean, this isn't a random taunt, they had to BRING cotton to school to do this. WTF. Hispanic students are being told they are "going home soon", but nothing is being thrown at them. :(

I just.... don't know what is going on right now. The tensions are just so elevated.

I think you were right to call the police and I hope your neighbor calms down and keeps his hate to himself.

[alootikki]

I am so sorry this happened to you. This is what so many of us are afraid of - that these racists are now emboldened to act. :(

[div_0305]

I didn't get a chance to speak to DS but did send an email to the school counselor who will be talking to DS. He is tough and doesn't get phased. I'll have a conversation with him at bedtime. I need to prepare myself else I'll breakdown. I called the police and noted down the complaint.

My neighbor sent out an email to our neighborhood mailing list (after asking permission) to let everyone know about the incident and keep a watch out . However I didn't realize DH was on it too. I was hoping I would talk to him later in the day when he reaches Portugal.

I can only imagine how hard it would be for Muslim who wears a headscarf or needs to ask permission to pray etc..

Is the a**hole neighbor on the mailing list? That might help publicly shame them a bit more than just your neighbor who thankfully witnessed it and stepped in. Also, yes, please call the police and make a report, especially since your neighbor was there as a witness. It is a shame what that man stands for, the hate that he has spewed and stirred up, and now will be MISrepresenting this country.

[BunnyBee]

I'm so sorry. This thread is horribly depressing. I don't know what to say. :(

[keh602]

I am so sorry. I hope and pray that there are a lot of real life superheroes out there.

[anonomom]

I am so sorry. I am heartbroken that this behavior is now seen as acceptable.

[baymom]

Wow, I'm so very sorry this happened to your DS. I don't even know what to say. Thank goodness for your neighbor. I think I might let the police know, just to get it documented.

[*myfoursons]

That's awful. I echo the others, that you should definitely report this to the police. I'm so sorry you and your family have to deal with these bigots.

[gatorsmom]

I am so sorry. I am heartbroken that this behavior is now seen as acceptable.

Who said this is acceptable behavior? Do you mean that now since we have a Republican president that attacking one's neighbors is condoned? That's ridiculous.

OP, what happened to your son is not acceptable in this country. Call the police and report who said that to your son. As most educated people know, a small bunch of extremists do not represent the greater majority of any group be it Muslim, police, or Trump-voters. To quote a wise (and liberal!) BBB mama, "most people are kind people." I'm sorry your family has had a run-in with this awful fringe idiot.

[keh602]

Who said this is acceptable behavior? Do you mean that now since we have a Republican president that attacking one's neighbors is condoned? That's ridiculous.

OP, what happened to your son is not acceptable in this country. Call the police and report who said that to your son. As most educated people know, a small bunch of extremists do not represent the greater majority of any group be it Muslim, police, or Trump-voters. To quote a wise (and liberal!) BBB mama, "most people are kind people." I'm sorry your family has had a run-in with this awful fringe idiot.

Because Trump is president, and because he seems to have empowered them, people are coming out of the woodwork. Hopefully not many of them, and hopefully they'll go back where they came from. Of course the majority do not find it acceptable.

[niccig]

It's not acceptable and everyone needs to speak out about it, including whoever is the president. And that's an issue, Trump stands by and doesn't call out this behavior. Hillary was called a bitch and that wasn't called out, staying silent condones this kind of behavior.


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[mommy111]

OP, I am very, very sorry this is happening to you and your family. And also sorry for the millions of people it is happening to right now. We live in an uber-liberal state but one kid in DS's class walked up to another kid in DS's class whose mom is an Ivy League professor of muslim heritage and dad is second generation American with a Hispanic last name and told him, I'm so glad trump is president because now you will get kicked out of the country. Another kid with a Japanese dad and an American mom (both university professors) woke up this morning crying and hugging Japanese dad because he didn't want him to be kicked out of the country.

[Tenasparkl]

I'm so sorry. I'm horrified that an adult would treat a child that way.

[gatorsmom]

I'm so sorry. I'm horrified that an adult would treat a child that way.

Unfortunately it's nothing new. My mother grew up very poor. It was the 40's and she and her 9 siblings lived in what was essentially a tar paper shack. Rats from the neighboring factory would get into their house frequently. She and her siblings would go barefoot in the summer and only wear their shoes in the colder weather. Apparently one elderly neighbor didn't approve and would yell out the door of her house very frequently, "you dirty little Jones kids go home!" My mother would get very upset about it and go home to ask her mom if they were dirty. To which my grandmother explained that no, her children weren't dirty they were beautiful and just stay away from that lady's yard.

The funny thing was that my mother ended up marrying that lady's grandson!! It was after the grumpy old lady died but my mom always got a kick knowing that lady would definitely not have approved! That old lady's only remaining child is 96 and I'm going to visit her this Friday. She's as sweet as they come.

Sorry to side track op. I hope your DS has put that unpleasantness out of his mind already.

[California]

OP, that's is horrible! I've heard similar things - before the election but as Trump was spewing his rhetoric- from families who attend our local mosque. It's heightened in the last few weeks and I can't imagine how they are feeling now.

It sounds like you've got a great neighbor though in the guy who was running by when it happened. And he must have felt confident others in the neighborhood would also be disgusted by this, if he wanted to send out the email. I hope it gives you some comfort to know you have those good people around you.

[chottumommy]

I hope your DS has put that unpleasantness out of his mind already.

I hope you can see the difference between being grumpy and being a racist. It was not an unpleasantness but an indirect threat. I hope your child does not have to listen to anything like this ever.

DS1 didn't understand what that man said. I don't think he even knows about specific religions since our practices are more cultural and spiritual rather than religious. I spoke to him about intolerance and people's prejudices.

I have had tremendous support from the rest of the neighborhood. DH was fuming and reached out to the Dean of his college who also happens to live here. The Dean then stopped by my office to offer his support. He called the police chief who is his close acquaintance. Apparently there were some other complaints regarding threats by the same residents and the police are going to patrol our area regularly for the near future. I have been invited for dinner every day this week and the weekend.

I'm so overwhelmed with all the love and support offered everyone around me . Now that Trump is president I only hope he can rise beyond his ego and try to be a president for all.

[niccig]

I hope you can see the difference between being grumpy and being a racist. It was not an unpleasantness but an indirect threat. I hope your child does not have to listen to anything like this ever.


This was a racist comment directed to a 10 year old. A TEN YEAR OLD!!! That is hate pure and simple for someone of a different race. OP, I'm glad your community is rallying around you and is speaking out at this. EVERYONE needs to speak out when they hear intolerant hate speech.

[keh602]

This was a racist comment directed to a 10 year old. A TEN YEAR OLD!!! That is hate pure and simple for someone of a different race. OP, I'm glad your community is rallying around you and is speaking out at this. EVERYONE needs to speak out when they hear intolerant hate speech.

Yep. This has sparked good discussion points with my own kids and made me want to be more aware of what's happening around me.

[squimp]

I am so sorry your son was treated that way, and I am really glad your community is supporting you.

[gatorsmom]

I hope you can see the difference between being grumpy and being a racist. It was not an unpleasantness but an indirect threat. I hope your child does not have to listen to anything like this ever.

DS1 didn't understand what that man said. I don't think he even knows about specific religions since our practices are more cultural and spiritual rather than religious. I spoke to him about intolerance and people's prejudices.

I have had tremendous support from the rest of the neighborhood. DH was fuming and reached out to the Dean of his college who also happens to live here. The Dean then stopped by my office to offer his support. He called the police chief who is his close acquaintance. Apparently there were some other complaints regarding threats by the same residents and the police are going to patrol our area regularly for the near future. I have been invited for dinner every day this week and the weekend.

I'm so overwhelmed with all the love and support offered everyone around me . Now that Trump is president I only hope he can rise beyond his ego and try to be a president for all.

Why are you attacking my reply to another poster? I was one of the posters who offered you support! Yes I see the differences but I saw similarities too when I commented to Tenasparkl. There was no need to attack me.

[California]

She's not attacking you, she's pointing out the difference. We can't minimize that the seriousness of the bigotry.

Two of several incidents friends were sharing yesterday on FB: A woman was assaulted yesterday by a self-proclaimed Trump supporter who saw the Bernie sticker on her car.

A black female college student in hijab was also assaulted and robbed by men who made comments about Trump and what'll happen to Muslims with him as president.

There were more. This vote is making those with bigoted and mysogynistic views feel legitimized and validated.

[StantonHyde]

There was an article in our paper today about how the schools that have a larger population of minority students had increased absenteeism and the kids who did show up were scared--scared they would be deported for being brown or that people would hurt them for their skin or their religion. All of those folks who looked past Trump's racist messages to vote for Supreme Court justices need to understand that with that narrow vote they bought the whole package. So instead of saying "oh it was just a one off or those are fringe people"--they need to say "we do not tolerate racism" and they need to ACT to reign in Trump's message. The genie is unleashed from the bottle.

[Kindra178]

Gator, I think the comment to your mom and siblings was classist and unelightened. The comment to the op's kid was racist. A difference without andistinction? Maybe - but times were different.

[mikala]

There was an article in our paper today about how the schools that have a larger population of minority students had increased absenteeism and the kids who did show up were scared--scared they would be deported for being brown or that people would hurt them for their skin or their religion. All of those folks who looked past Trump's racist messages to vote for Supreme Court justices need to understand that with that narrow vote they bought the whole package. So instead of saying "oh it was just a one off or those are fringe people"--they need to say "we do not tolerate racism" and they need to ACT to reign in Trump's message. The genie is unleaded from the bottle.

Well said. This is happening in my area too and we've had incidents at the high school. One of my friends teaches in a local elementary Spanish/English immersion program and several Spanish speaking students reported harassment and fear for their families.

My 7 yo overheard kids talking about "sending Mexicans home" on the playground yesterday.

Trump voters can deny that this is related to his election until the cows come home but we ALL have a responsibility to our fellow Americans to speak up against racism in our communities.

[Charlie]

She's not attacking you, she's pointing out the difference. We can't minimize that the seriousness of the bigotry.

Two of several incidents friends were sharing yesterday on FB: A woman was assaulted yesterday by a self-proclaimed Trump supporter who saw the Bernie sticker on her car.

A black female college student in hijab was also assaulted and robbed by men who made comments about Trump and what'll happen to Muslims with him as president.

There were more. This vote is making those with bigoted and mysogynistic views feel legitimized and validated.

Yep. Here's more:
http://www.phillymag.com/news/2016/11/09/nazi-trump-graffiti-south-philadelphia/

[bisous]

There was an article in our paper today about how the schools that have a larger population of minority students had increased absenteeism and the kids who did show up were scared--scared they would be deported for being brown or that people would hurt them for their skin or their religion. All of those folks who looked past Trump's racist messages to vote for Supreme Court justices need to understand that with that narrow vote they bought the whole package. So instead of saying "oh it was just a one off or those are fringe people"--they need to say "we do not tolerate racism" and they need to ACT to reign in Trump's message. The genie is unleashed from the bottle.

My sister is an ESL teacher in the DC area and her kids are scared. :(

This is just a very tiny thing but she requested that we flood her wall with hundreds of positive statements about immigrants and she's going to show them to the kids. People from all kinds of backgrounds joined in to give a good welcome to her students.

[umsh]

I can only imagine how hard it would be for Muslim who wears a headscarf or needs to ask permission to pray etc..

I'm a head scarf wearing Muslim...and the support, solidarity, understanding, and caring in this thread means a lot to me. I don't post often but I love the BBB and am grateful to be a part of this community.


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[anamika]

If you have the stomach for it, please see Shaun King's twitter feed on all the racist incidents around the country - even in blue states. I have been sobbing hysterically all morning reading his timeline. Not a single minority group has escaped targeting. And a lot of this is happening in schools - kids targeting kids :( This is what we have come to.

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing

[Philly Mom]

If you have the stomach for it, please see Shaun King's twitter feed on all the racist incidents around the country - even in blue states. I have been sobbing hysterically all morning reading his timeline. Not a single minority group has escaped targeting. And a lot of this is happening in schools - kids targeting kids :( This is what we have come to.

https://twitter.com/ShaunKing

Just had a series of horrible incidences at a school in a philly suburb. I am on my phone or I would cut and paste the letter from the school.


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[twowhat?]

Today I was discussing with DD1 the mock voting in her school and how the school results didn't match up with the election outcome. Suddenly she GASPED and asked me, in rapid-fire style: "Where was grandma born??? Where was grandpa born???" And when I answered she shot back "are they going to have to go back to China???" Ugh, it's so heartbreaking. Especially at this age when kids are so much more aware not only of the world around them, but what things might MEAN as a consequence or effect of something.

I'm thankful to live in a diverse neighborhood, in a county where the majority voted against Trump. An island of blue in a sea of red. I am very sorry that happened to your family, OP. I don't even know what I would do, it would be so incredibly upsetting.

[missym]

OP, I am so sorry your son experienced that. I hope your neighborhood can come together to show him that there's more good than evil in the world.

Mod note: Let's keep the political discussion out of the Lounge, please. For those who meet the requirements to access it, the Political Talk forum is available for that.

[kara97210]

Uggg, it's horrible that so many now feel empowered to show their bigotry. Hopefully all the good people (like your neighbor, so glad he was there!), of all political/religious persuasions will come together to stand up against this kind of racism and intolerance. Like the famous quote "The only thing necessary for the triumph of evil is for good men to do nothing."

[moosemama]

OP - I am so sorry this happened to your son, but so thankful that the rest of your community is supporting you. We live in Canada, in a university town. My DC's school is highly multicultural, thanks in part to the children of faculty and students at the University. That is one of the things I love most about their school. It saddens me to think of anyone, especially children, being exposed to such hatred and bigotry.

[mytwosons]

OP - I am so sorry this happened to your son, but so thankful that the rest of your community is supporting you. We live in Canada, in a university town. My DC's school is highly multicultural, thanks in part to the children of faculty and students at the University. That is one of the things I love most about their school. It saddens me to think of anyone, especially children, being exposed to such hatred and bigotry.

Ann Arbor, MI is a liberal university town (University of Michigan) and a Muslim student was threatened yesterday evening.

OP, thinking of you everyone else targeted by hate.

[mommy111]

OP, so sorry to hear about your sons experience! What a horrible thing to say to a child!

[citymama]

OP, I am SO SO sorry to hear about your son's experience. I would definitely advise you to be extra protective of him in these times - people are coming a bit unhinged, racists, misogynists and bigots emboldened by what they feel is a vindication of their views.

I have now heard dozens of first-hand stories (rider on BART - transit system in the San Francisco Bay Area - who was told by a white woman rider that she would be deported, middle-school girl in the Bay Area being grabbed in the crotch by a middle-school boy who said that the President could do it, so why couldn't he?, Sikhs in turbans and women in hijabs having them pulled off, name-called, a US born Indian friend in a Target parking lot who was told to "go back to India or wherever she came from"). You should read the kind of hateful speech directed to US-born and raised Asian-American CNN journalist Wilfred Chan after tweeting a map depicting voting patterns by people of color: http://fusion.net/story/369176/trump-tweet-death-threats-white-people-work/

I hope this kind of hateful speech and actions that are simmering - and only just beginning - will be strongly condemned by the President elect and everyone on his team. This needs to be condemned from the very top, since the hateful speech, especially against immigrants, Muslims, Mexicans, was stirred up from the very top. This cannot be ignored. For the rest of us, please donate to ACLU and other orgs working to protect liberties and safeguard against hateful speech and hate crimes.