PDA

View Full Version : Natural Consequence for mean girl behavior?



theriviera
11-09-2016, 08:55 PM
I'm so ashamed to write this, but I got a call from the principal's office because my DD (2nd grade) was sent there for mean girl behavior. She was with a friend, and they were making fun of a classmate's sibling that is physically and mentally handicapped. Thank goodness the sibling wasn't there, but other kids were, and reported it. I am not home from work yet but I'm trying to figure out how to handle this. My instinct is to lecture but I want to make sure she really understands this.

For context (but not as an excuse), she has pretty severe general anxiety that I have not reported to the school. She has been in therapy since the spring. We started meds this summer but recently switched due to spinning/manic energy levels on the previous med. I sense that she is pretty unhappy. She can also be extremely empathetic. She watches out for her youngest sister, she will hold the hand of a friend's younger sibling when crossing the street. I'm also heard her say mean things about another child with an aide in her class earlier this year. We talked about it length and we role played, giving her options of what to say and do if a friend starts saying mean things. Because that is what she says, that her friend says she things, and she is going along with it.

Ay yi yi. I can't believe this. Could use some help, wise BBB mamas.

bisous
11-09-2016, 09:37 PM
Don't be embarrassed. All kids struggle with something but your DD will be okay because you're working on it.

If it were me, my reaction would be based on what I really think is going on. Sounds like a cop out but it would really depend on the circumstances. If it was a relatively new conversation or one I wasn't sure if my DD totally understood I'd try to be really matter of fact and teach the concept of why that would hurt feelings etc. Especially if she is empathetic. If she is following another child, I'd feel her out and see how badly she felt already. If she does, that might be lesson enough and I wouldn't be too harsh. If she shows no remorse that's where I get strict. The behavior would incur a consequence.

I'd match the response to the behavior, if that makes sense. But I'd really try to emphasize teaching and kindness, even in your own response.