PDA

View Full Version : Other than screentime, what else do your kids do with their downtime at home?



JustMe
12-10-2016, 11:08 AM
So, my kids are 10 and 13. Both kids have minimal homework (that's a whole other story). Dd loves music and will listen to music and sometimes do some form of dance for short periods. Ds loves to read, and does read a lot. They have some chores. However, other than that, neither kid has anything they do around the house other than screen time. I still limit their device/internet time. I used to have more limits on tv, but now only restrict it in the middle of the day...so for several hours on weekend mornings..and I mean several as my kids are early risers---and for a couple in the evenings they watch tv. It just seems like too much. However, I really don't have them anything to redirect them to do, as dd does a good amount of dance and ds does a good amount of reading...there's not a whole lot else they will do. We play board games as a family sometimes...but I really don't feel like I should have to entertain them at this age.

AnnieW625
12-10-2016, 11:59 AM
Not much, but only because we don't have a lot of downtime. I work full time outside the home and have a 30-45 minute afternoon commute so on a good night we don't get home until 5 pm, but every other Monday Dd1 has ballet class from 5 to 6 (and I do my best to have Dd2 complete her daily Kumon packet and or school homework during that time), on Tuesday and Thursday they have their Kumon class so again we get home around 6 or 6:30, and on Wednesday night Dd1 has ballet again from 6:45 to 8 so really we don't have much time for much of anything during the week because I still try to keep Dd1's bedtime at 9 pm at the latest. She has to read daily for school as well. TBH the tv or ipad doesn't go on most nights until the kids are in bed. DD2 is easier to entertain without screens than Dd1 though and will play with her magnatiles, tinker toys, or stuffed animal or dolls without much direction. Dd1 is much harder as she has never been a big play by herself type of kid (except to play with Legos and she goes through phases with those as well) and she inherited her relaxing skill of wanting watch tv from her parents and because of our weeknight schedule I don't have an issue with a little bit of screen time as long as all of our work is done. When the kids last had a day off of school for Thanksgiving they did make some pirate ships out of old boxes and their scooters, but they seem to do this thing more with DH than me.

petesgirl
12-10-2016, 12:30 PM
My DS enjoys helping me cook dinner, and I have been slowly eliminating his evening screentime by incorporating his help more.
Having kids help you cook does require quite a bit of hands on from you, but I think it is a great skill for them to learn!
Maybe if your weeknights are too crazy you could try cooking one or two simple things together on weekends to start out?

I haven't tried this company, but their ads keep popping up in my facebook feed and it could be a good starting point:
http://www.raddishkids.com/

JustMe
12-10-2016, 12:37 PM
Thanks for the replies. The kids do help with dinners, but we make very quick dinners. I used to not allow tv during the weeknights and plan to go back to this soon..but we all got into Gilmore Girls, which I let my kids watch. This will stop soon.

Weekends are the real problem. I like my own downtime when I don't have to do chores...and the kids just are bored and don't come up with anything other than tv. Like I said, the big problem are the weekend mornings...I want a couple of hours to just relax, drink tea, and I go for a walk. Now, that they can be home alone..there is just more free time for them. I will say the bigger problem is with dd, who is home alone after school..There's just not a whole lot I can do about that (and ds will be joining her next year), but it frustrates me when they want to watch so much tv on the weekend..and they really don't have anything else to focus on.

KrisM
12-10-2016, 02:35 PM
Mine like to play outside, ride their bikes, play board games, and read. DD does a lot of crafts.

jent
12-10-2016, 02:58 PM
DD does a lot of crafts. Right now she's crocheting. She also reads, writes stories & writes in her journal.

petesgirl
12-10-2016, 03:01 PM
Another thought...would they do mazes, word searches, simple crossword puzzles?

KrisM
12-10-2016, 03:28 PM
Mine also make stop motion movies using their 3DSes. They use Lego. It is somewhat screen time, but it is more active and thoughtful than just watching something.

hillview
12-10-2016, 03:46 PM
Play dates often result in more physical activity. We do have a lot of screen time here. Board games. Craft projects. Jigsaw puzzles

123LuckyMom
12-10-2016, 09:52 PM
My kids are younger (8 and 4), so I don't know what things will be like when they're older, but we lucked out big time when we moved into this neighborhood! There are several kids on the street, and they all play together. When my 8 year old isn't at an activity, he's usually playing. It's all I can do to get him to stop for dinner or to do his minimal homework. We do watch tv together at dinner most nights. After dinner (as part of bedtime) he reads. When nobody is available to play, mostly he reads, but he's also always bugging me to play chess or backgammon. I do need to limit his iPad/iPhone, though, because he really loves to play on his phone, but if he doesn't have access to the phone, he'll do other things. He's very good at entertaining himself with play, and I hope that never changes.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

JustMe
12-10-2016, 09:58 PM
Thanks for the replies. Ds does have some kids he can play with in the neigborhood, but mostly because they are younger/less mature than he is, he doesn't do it that frequently. They're not into just going outside..and the weather is not great in the winter. When they were younger, I would direct them to things, but nothing really stuck. Neither kids has really gotten into legos. Dd will do crafts if she or I have a very specific ideas and all the right materials...but not just something she can pick up and do regularly if something she likes is not planned. With ds, I am not even sure if I should make this a thing or not...he reads a lot and is just as interested in reading as screen time...just doesnt want to read only, which I don't blame him for...he's also not home as much as dd, who is home after school. As far as mazes, crossword puzzles, etc, I think they might do them for a short while but then not anymore. Both kids did color penciling for a while, but tired of it. So, this may just be how it is here...I will say both kids are naturally physically active and just move a lot. Ds plays soccer from April-October and dd is not doing any organized sports, but somehow does keep moving.

StantonHyde
12-11-2016, 12:16 AM
You know what, I don't care so much about the screen time. My kids work hard all week with homework. They have some activities, not a ton. They have friends, they do chores. DD does crafts, draws, paints, and rides her bike. DS loves his video games. Like all day Saturday. I am ok with it.

georgiegirl
12-11-2016, 01:04 AM
Play with the other kids in the neighborhood. Now that it's cold and snowy, they play inside. (But when the weather is decent, they like to play outside.). My kids would rather play with friends than on a device. We don't have that much downtime, as the kids swim 4 days a week.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

abh5e8
12-11-2016, 10:22 AM
Mine are are little younger, 10 and 8. They read, play games, puzzles, legos, sew, crafts, chores and play outside. I think screen time limits are still a good thing. So is being a little bored. :) They will think of what they want to do.

Sent from my MotoG3 using Tapatalk

Tenasparkl
12-11-2016, 10:38 AM
Mine also make stop motion movies using their 3DSes. They use Lego. It is somewhat screen time, but it is more active and thoughtful than just watching something.

That's a great idea. My kids are younger, but love making movies with stuff (puppets and lego minifigures) and live action movies. Depending what device you have, there may be an easy program or app for them to use (like iMovie).

JustMe
12-11-2016, 11:53 AM
Thanks for the replies. I am not sure what I am going to do. On one hand, there is nothing else I need them to do. Both children get little homework and, while this is something I would like to supplement as I think it would benefit them both, I am not sure how I would do that at this point (something else to look into). They have never taken long-term to any of the interests described and I think that is okay. As I said, ds has soccer and dd is into choir and band.


That's a great idea. My kids are younger, but love making movies with stuff (puppets and lego minifigures) and live action movies. Depending what device you have, there may be an easy program or app for them to use (like iMovie).

The idea of making movies is something they could probably get into. We do have an ipad, so I guess that would be imovied? OTOH, I would not want my kids to post their movies, which may take away some of the fun and sets up a difficult scenario as they will want to.

mom2binsd
12-12-2016, 12:13 PM
My kids are the same age. My DD doesn't have much down time as she gets home at 4:45 from JR. High and we have to get going to DS's hockey or her swim practice (3 nights a week). She loves to hang out with her friends, go for walks, ride her ripstick in the park with friends, go visit her friends, bike to Starbucks, and yes play of her phone (often reading or watching some show). DS plays outside almost everyday afterschool (he's home by 2:45) with his buddies, they walk from school, and play blitzball/basketball/football. If it's too cold they play at our house or his buddies houses down the street. Not much downtime for him, but the popular thing with all his friends is making video's on Musicly or youtube, and playing xbox LIVE sports games.

I feel fortunate that they are self driven to find things to keep themselves busy, and we have a wonderful neighborhood where their friends are close by.

Both kids have some chores around house and minimal homework (which I"m fine with).

123LuckyMom
12-12-2016, 12:19 PM
Have you tried doing a screen-free week or two? Just take the screens away, maybe with a scheduled reprieve to watch something as a family, and see what happens? It does take practice to think about options, but it's probably better for your kids to find those options for themselves. Maybe if you just give them the opportunity to figure it out, they will. It may take a few days, though.

DualvansMommy
12-12-2016, 12:29 PM
My kids are much younger than you, but my oldest spend way too time with his iPad, I felt. Once school started, I started the rule of no iPads in the mornings while getting dressed, breakfast etc. only get to have his iPad once in the car for our commute to his school (it's a 25 min drive, so I'm ok to have my boys use the iPad then)

He has swim lessons every Saturday mornings, and lax practice every Thursday evening after school. The rest is filled in with reading time, chores, and liked helping me prep for dinner. We usually keep play dates to the weekends only, cuz our school week is hectic enough with 7pm for his bedtime.

I'm a firm believer for kids to be ok with boredom. They need to learn how to sit, and amuse themselves for 20 mins, 30 mins at a time without pestering me to set up an activity. That's when they often reach out to long forgotten toys tucked away in the cabinets to play with. This is definitely something I'll be keeping up, now that winter is here. They love to play outside when it isn't raining or freezing with hats, gloves and jackets on.

Maybe set up reading project or art activity for them to do? Have a central space in your house to house all the supplies, where they can go to help themselves to a project.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

mnj77
12-12-2016, 05:04 PM
It sounds weird, DD (almost 10) has been spending a lot of time lately just bouncing a ball in the house. I don't know what she's thinking about while she does this, but it keeps her occupied for a long time! It drives DH crazy but somehow it doesn't bother me...Otherwise she plays with neighborhood friends a lot.

PunkyBoo
12-12-2016, 06:30 PM
It sounds weird, DD (almost 10) has been spending a lot of time lately just bouncing a ball in the house. I don't know what she's thinking about while she does this, but it keeps her occupied for a long time! It drives DH crazy but somehow it doesn't bother me...Otherwise she plays with neighborhood friends a lot.
My DS1 does the same thing! For HOURS! With a fist-sized ball that looks filthy from being played with so much.

rlu
12-12-2016, 07:52 PM
It sounds weird, DD (almost 10) has been spending a lot of time lately just bouncing a ball in the house. I don't know what she's thinking about while she does this, but it keeps her occupied for a long time! It drives DH crazy but somehow it doesn't bother me...Otherwise she plays with neighborhood friends a lot.

not bouncing a ball but flipping the water bottle, drives me nuts but whatever. DS spends lots of time playing with the dog. If he's wandering aimlessly I'll tell him to brush or walk the dog. Lately DS has been listening to music in his room - he just wants time on his own and if the homework's done (also very little) and he's made progress on his merit badges we just let him be. He's almost 13 so definitely getting into teenager behavior here. I will knock on the door and then let the dog into his room otherwise the dogs pines outside the door.

DS spends time riding his bike with his friends on weekends.

doberbrat
12-16-2016, 07:42 AM
Weekends are the real problem. I like my own downtime when I don't have to do chores...and the kids just are bored and don't come up with anything other than tv. Like I said, the big problem are the weekend mornings...I want a couple of hours to just relax, drink tea, and I go for a walk. Now, that they can be home alone..there is just more free time for them. I will say the bigger problem is with dd, who is home alone after school..There's just not a whole lot I can do about that (and ds will be joining her next year), but it frustrates me when they want to watch so much tv on the weekend..and they really don't have anything else to focus on.

my kids are a bit younger still but for the past couple of yrs my rule has been you may have screen time after X hr until I get up. Get up time depends on when they go to bed but if its 8am, they can watch tv or have computer time until they get me up for any reason. Arguing, bugging me, getting me up for breakfast - once I'm up, their screen time is over for the day unless we've made other arrangements. Makes for VERY peaceful weekend mornings!

We have a no screen time during the week rule so I'm ok if they want to binge watch on the weekends a bit. I find that they watch for a while then read then watch again etc.

JustMe
12-17-2016, 12:55 PM
Thanks so much for all of the replies! Things were better when they were younger but it just seems like neither one developed things they like to do in the house regularly (with the exception of reading for ds and listening to music for dd- both of which they can only spend so much time on).

I thought about this and decided I need to put this more on them. I can have all the ideas I want, but they need to identify what will work for them. So, I told them both they need to come up with lists of things they can do in the house that don't include screen time. I will give them a lot of wiggle room during winter break, but after that I go back to the tv goes back to going of at 9am on weekends (they get up early), and can be watched in the evenings on the weekends. Most likely not weekday nights unless there is something really special. I have been pretty good about limiting device time, so will just continue with that.

If they tell me they are bored, I will remind them they can do something on their list or I can assign them a chore. (They have chores, but if they need something to do I can supply them with another one). I know they won't like this, and I am not doing it to be mean, but I am so tired of them not being able to figure out what to do with themselves other than screen time!

Oh, I do have one question--do any of your kids like/play the ThinkFun games? I saw these mentioned on the BBB and looked them up..they do look like they would work for solitary play for kids my age. Any knowledge of this? I know it wouldn't last forever, but even a few months would be worth it as another choice.

petesgirl
12-17-2016, 02:36 PM
Think fun games are awesome! My 5 yr old can play the very easiest levels of rush hour and then he loves to set up harder levels for me to solve. I bet your kids would get into them!

JustMe
12-17-2016, 02:49 PM
Think fun games are awesome! My 5 yr old can play the very easiest levels of rush hour and then he loves to set up harder levels for me to solve. I bet your kids would get into them!

Any ideas on 1-2 Thinkfun games that are good for the 10-13 year old range?

TwinFoxes
12-17-2016, 07:28 PM
OP, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said you're going to put it more on them. I'll give my DDs one or two suggestions (usually dismissed out of hand) and then they're on their own. Admittedly, they are a built in playdate. But they also play on their own. Since your son likes reading, maybe he'd try his hand at writing? Maybe your DD would try to teach herself an easy instrument like a ukulele? Do they play cards? Teach them some card games they can play by together, or some solitaire games.

JustMe
12-18-2016, 12:39 PM
Thanks. Well, we had an interesting day yesterday. As I said, I do not plan to fully implement this until after winter break but I told them yesterday to start working on their lists. Dd came up with many things, while ds really struggled. This was interesting, as she is the one who struggles more to find something to do when it comes down to it. I think this is because ds really does spend so much time reading(which, of course, is fine with me, its just not something he can/want to do all the time). So, hopefully, having the list will help dd. Ds said, "Well, I just might have to do chores sometimes" and I tried to tell him that this was not necessarily a bad thing. I am thinking I need to phrase how I present that option, as I really don't mean it as a punishment, just that I will give them something to do that would be helpful for the family, if they can't think of anything they want to do.

The most interesting thing is that, even though I had said this didn't have to happen immediately, after they made their lists the kids immediately started helping each other re-organize their rooms which took several hours. One of the reasons this has been an issue for us is that they used to play together more when they were younger, but now their interests are different enough, and dd has become a teenager who feels a need to let her little brother know it, that this just doesn't happen like it used to. I do think dd's willingness to engage with ds was in part a positive reaction to it being winter break, as she tends to be more willing to engage with him when she is away from school for a while...

citymama
12-18-2016, 03:03 PM
Older DD reads incessantly.
Younger DD spends most of her free time reading, playing with legos or other construction toys, or making her own art projects. She is remarkably able to entertain herself, something older DD is not as good at without books or devices.

essnce629
12-18-2016, 10:52 PM
It sounds weird, DD (almost 10) has been spending a lot of time lately just bouncing a ball in the house. I don't know what she's thinking about while she does this, but it keeps her occupied for a long time! It drives DH crazy but somehow it doesn't bother me...Otherwise she plays with neighborhood friends a lot.
Haha, my super athletic DS2 does this too. If he's not doing screen time then he's bouncing some kind of ball off the hallway, dribbling a soccer ball, or basketball! I can't even get him to brush his teeth without playing with a ball at the same time! Sometimes he even takes a soccer ball in the shower with him! It can be super annoying and loud at times but he has great ball handling skills when he's at his actual soccer and basketball games so maybe it's paying off lol!

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk

georgiegirl
12-19-2016, 12:10 AM
Haha, my super athletic DS2 does this too. If he's not doing screen time then he's bouncing some kind of ball off the hallway, dribbling a soccer ball, or basketball! I can't even get him to brush his teeth without playing with a ball at the same time! Sometimes he even takes a soccer ball in the shower with him! It can be super annoying and loud at times but he has great ball handling skills when he's at his actual soccer and basketball games so maybe it's paying off lol!

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk

DS1 has a ball problem too. Just the other day he thought he'd kick his football off the tee in our living room. I told him "we don't kick balls in the house," and he replied that he was just doing an onside kick...so no need to worry.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

essnce629
12-19-2016, 01:32 AM
DS1 has a ball problem too. Just the other day he thought he'd kick his football off the tee in our living room. I told him "we don't kick balls in the house," and he replied that he was just doing an onside kick...so no need to worry.


Yeah, I gave up on the "we don't kick balls in the house" years ago because it just never worked!!! For years, we also had a 6 ft tall basketball hoop in our living room!

lorie
08-10-2017, 02:15 AM
I have an 8yo niece and a 4yo nephew. They got next to zero screen time and during the school days we have them go to dance/music/kungfu classes (they pick classes they like). Also have them do certain chores around the house, and their parents are planning to have them take care of the weeds in their backyard so they can have more outdoor time and get some dirt and tan. Other than that my niece enjoys reading and nephew loves playing with the dolls.