How do you decide what music is ok for the kids?

[gobadgers]

So my kids have been wanting to listen to more than Kidz Bop recently, but I don't listen to much pop music and am having a hard time figuring out what is appropriate. Are there any resources out there, like common sense media? Or any other tips?


DS had been listening to My House by Flo-Rida until I heard enough of the lyrics! I used to just not worry about it much, but they want to play them over and over again to learn the the lyrics now...

[georgiegirl]

So my kids have been wanting to listen to more than Kidz Bop recently, but I don't listen to much pop music and am having a hard time figuring out what is appropriate. Are there any resources out there, like common sense media? Or any other tips?


DS had been listening to My House by Flo-Rida until I heard enough of the lyrics! I used to just not worry about it much, but they want to play them over and over again to learn the the lyrics now...

I used to worry about this a lot, but I've pretty much given up. I listened (and sang) to a lot of very questionable songs as a kid in the 80s. DD is almost 11, and the music she likes isn't that bad (Adele, Katy Perry), but I am a little more restrictive with DS1 (7.5). He does like My House by Flo-Rida. I wont print out questionable lyrics for him. (He likes me to print out the lyrics so he can memorize the songs.)


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[SnuggleBuggles]

I don't stress about it. I mean, we don't listen to hardcore stuff but if it's on the radio, it's fine. My view is that any sexually explicit stuff is going over their heads bc they have 0 frame of reference for it. I'd bang my head off a wall if I had to listen to Kids Bop. I do buy clean versions of songs if I plan to play it when they're around (vs my workout playlist). Been burned as I forget that the radio versions are clean(ER) than some other versions.
Swearing doesn't bother me. I bought Fergie's London Bridge because we used it in one of my exercise classes. Well, the first like 10 words are sh*t. Oops. Probably would have gone clean if I knew.


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[Mikey0709]

I don't censor at all. We freely listen to the radio, but if purchasing music i will choose to buy a clean version if available. My kids are going to hear it WITH me and WITHOUT me. At least while WITH me they know it's inappropriate and WILL NOT REPEAT it. They can hear worse just walking down the street or riding the bus. I always thought censoring or restricting made them more curious, and again i rather it be in the open in our household. They know when to shut something off.

[JBaxter]

Mine listen to what I do. I like a variety and play everything from heavy metal to jazz depending on my mood. I was SO glad to be out of the kid music phase

[bisous]

I'm both a super prude and apparently totally oblivious to lyrics (or I was as a teen) because lots of the songs that I loved back then were pretty....questionable when I examined them closely. I totally used to sing "Baby Got Back", every lyric, every line. I thought it was just a funny song about butts, lol, and had no idea what his "anaconda" was.

If it has explicit language then it is out. If it plays on the radio, I'm ok with it, as long as it isn't too easy to catch the connotations. So I don't like some Katy Perry because she's so overt. Basically I catch what I can. What is funny is that DS1 is VERY good at catching meaning in lyrics so I told him to use his best judgment. We try to keep things clean and I told him that if he feels uncomfortable listening to something that he can turn it off.

I'm super picky what I play in my house. It is my sanctuary. As a SAHM I'm here all the time and I just want everything to be good and clean. In the car, I'm more liberal.

[gobadgers]

Thanks for the replies so far!

They hear a lot of music of my choosing and DH's choosing and we don't worry about cursing or language at all. DH likes metal and somehow that doesn't bother me. But when they want to play raunchy pop songs over and over again, and then sing about popping champagne and taking their clothes off, I'm just a little uncomfortable.

I want them to be able to listen to music of their choosing too. They like plenty of non-objectionable (maybe just annoying!) artists/songs, but but I don't even know what is going to be bothersome unless I specifically look at the lyrics for each song. Ugh. And I struggle with what to do when friends come over and they all want to listen to music too. In a couple more years, I know it won't be a big deal, but they're 7 and 9, my babies lol! Maybe I'm overthinking it...

[BunnyBee]

I don't worry about it. I listened to everything growing up and didn't wind up scarred. I think they'll be playing Kids Bop in one of the circles of hell. It will be an overcrowded Gymboree store with the heat up way too high and Kids Bop on repeat.

[gobadgers]

I think they'll be playing Kids Bop in one of the circles of hell. It will be an overcrowded Gymboree store with the heat up way too high and Kids Bop on repeat.

Hahaha! Definitely!

[pastrygirl]

I also don't worry about it, but my kids know about inappropriate words. Though, I curse all the time. Still, when my 7yo plays a Minecraft parody song that includes the word S U C K, he always mutes it right then! So cute. I tell him just to sing the word STINK loudly instead.

[hillview]

I don't worry about it. Kids know good and bad words. I try to play clean versions. It doesn't always work.

[div_0305]

I try to stay oblivious to most songs when we like the beat, but I revile Bruno Mars--that's putting it mildly. He grosses me out. It's not possible to ignore his lyrics. So, OP, I didn't realize My House had bad lyrics---we sing it a lot--clearly I'm not catching the right words. I'm going to Google now, help me!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I try to stay oblivious to most songs when we like the beat, but I revile Bruno Mars--that's putting it mildly. He grosses me out. It's not possible to ignore his lyrics. So, OP, I didn't realize My House had bad lyrics---we sing it a lot--clearly I'm not catching the right words. I'm going to Google now, help me!

What's the point in looking? Clearly the potential bad lyrics haven't corrupted you or your kids. Sometimes it's just better and easier not to worry about it. :)


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[bisous]

I try to stay oblivious to most songs when we like the beat, but I revile Bruno Mars--that's putting it mildly. He grosses me out. It's not possible to ignore his lyrics. So, OP, I didn't realize My House had bad lyrics---we sing it a lot--clearly I'm not catching the right words. I'm going to Google now, help me!

I'm not that familiar with Bruno Mars but haven't caught what's wrong with him either, lol.

[cvanbrunt]

We love Bruno Mars, my 9yo is a superfan! She looked at me the other day and said "Bruno Mars sure does like the ladies!" I'm still laughing.

[cilantromapuche]

I used to be the music police but then DD (10) fell in love with Hamilton- has listened to clean and not clean version and DS (13) Nathaniel Rateliffe and the Night sweats (who sings SOB but all his other songs are great).
I figure they hear worse at school. Not sure if that is good rational but I can't keep my kids in a bubble and they are not listening to sexual or derogatory stuff. I would draw the line for that.

[Kindra178]

If it's on the regular radio, it's fine with me.

[AnnieW625]

I don't do KidzBop or Radio Disney or the like. We have always listened to my music, although we did have a few kids CDs we got as gifts. I listen to satellite radio and sometimes forget it isn't censored, but Faction (punk rock hardcore) station is about the only one I don't listen to when the kids are in the car except for The Ramones punk rock show which is pretty tame. Dd2 loves The Ramones, Sweet, The Beatles, Fleetwood Mac/Stevie Nicks, and Mumford & Sons. Dd1 tries to like current music but other than The Chainsmokers, Pharrell, and Katy Perry she says she still prefers "old music" (which is pretty much anything from 1960-2010s) like The Beatles, Michael Jackson, and country Taylor Swift.

eta: we also love Weird Al, and I still have They Might Be Giants: Here Come the 123s, as well as the Handy Manny soundtrack in my iTunes.

[lizzywednesday]

I don't stress much about it, but DD and I listen to a lot of showtunes when we're in the car together.

Most showtunes, pre-Sondheim, are squeaky clean words-wise, though occasionally you'll get a reference that sails WAY over the head of a small child. I'm OK with that. Three of my favorite shows have offensive words in the lyrics; only one of those shows is also completely inappropriate to listen to with DD in the car. (For the record, these shows are Sweeney Todd, the Demon Barber of Fleet Street; Rent; and Hamilton. DD is a little afraid of the first one, hasn't heard anything other than "Seasons of Love" from the 2nd, and is insane for the 3rd, though she prefers the women's songs to anything else.)

I also listen to Classic Rock, and there are sex & drug references that DD definitely doesn't get, but that I do ... and I still don't stress.

We both love Weird Al parodies, and he's so squeaky clean that it's hard to imagine someone finding him offensive. (Annoying, yes; offensive, no.) And I also love They Might Be Giants; we have listened to both their kids' music and their not-for-kids music (they played a free, outdoor concert in my area a few years ago & I took her to see them; we both danced along.)

With the Broadway stuff, we do talk about some of the plots of the shows, if I know them, to explain what's going on in the song if it's unclear. She doesn't ask about some of the classic rock songs, so I just shrug and move along.

If I'm being completely honest, I kind of hate pop music from the last 15 or so years. I prefer stuff from the 50s, 60s, and 80s.

[gobadgers]

Swear words, I'm not bothered by in the least. Nathaniel Rateliff is fine, Mumford and Sons has the one song with a very clear f*ck repeated in the chorus - no problem! We've all been singing along to Hamilton too. Maybe I'm more likely to excuse it if I think it's good music.

My House was just the example that came to mind. The lyrics aren't even that bad, really - not as suggestive or explicit as some. They just sound more cringe-worthy coming out of my 7 year old's mouth! Plus, no redeeming value because I don't like it.

I just saw that there is a "Clean Pop" Amazon prime station - maybe they can listen to that when I'm not around, lol.

[kijip]

They listen to what I listen to and I don't really care about everything being totally sanitized. We do listen to some kids music but not the kid boo/radio Disney stuff. Because I'd lose it listening to most of that stuff. Younger son is 8. Older son 13 and my 14 yo niece and 10 yo nephew are with us a lot.

[StantonHyde]

I used to be the music police but then DD (10) fell in love with Hamilton- has listened to clean and not clean version and DS (13) Nathaniel Rateliffe and the Night sweats (who sings SOB but all his other songs are great).
I figure they hear worse at school. Not sure if that is good rational but I can't keep my kids in a bubble and they are not listening to sexual or derogatory stuff. I would draw the line for that.

This. DS loves Nathaniel Rateliffe. They call the SOB song "Detox, the Musical" because I pointed out to them that he is describing how awful it is to detox and that they should not get to that point in the first place. DD is uncomfortable with anything too sexual (11 yo) but I let her ask to change the station. We don't listen to songs about "hos" or killing people etc. But my kids really like the album Cleopatra. They know all the words in the book--and they both go to Catholic schools. One time I almost smashed into something while driving and I said the f word and then looked in the back seat and said "Sorry!". They both said "we don't care, we hear it all the time". They know they are not to swear at home or use that word. I can't control what they do when they aren't with me.

[div_0305]

What's the point in looking? Clearly the potential bad lyrics haven't corrupted you or your kids. Sometimes it's just better and easier not to worry about it. :)


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Yes, but now it's "out there" so I have to look. I wouldn't have were it not for this post. If I don't look, I'll keep thinking about it. Darn--I had forgotten to look yesterday. I'll leave it for now as I do have a lot of work on my desk ;)

[PunkyBoo]

I thought of this thread yesterday. I had both kids in the car heading to an appointment and a song called "Middle Fingers" by Missio came on. I actually like the song, but the lyrics, while "clean" are pretty mature. I though maybe the kids wouldn't be paying close attention, or would think they were saying "little fingers" instead. But my almost 13 year old got wide eyed and reached over to change the station. I know he hears foul language all the time at school and on the soccer field, but I think he was concerned about DS2 (who was oblivious yesterday) hearing it. DS1 also told me that our now ex- nanny listened to rap in her car and he told her it wasn't appropriate when he and his brother were with her.

[div_0305]

So, I just read the lyrics to My House, and I don't know what the OP is referring to. I read about taking clothes off and drinking. I don't know what the part "Welcome to my duck off the crib, the spot, the pad" means, but otherwise I don't see anything horrid. I'm sure I'm missing something. Someone please enlighten me!

[MMMommy]

We listen to all varieties of music, and I don't worry about it. I think Kidzbop is terrible. I'd rather my kids listen to the original/real thing than any Kidzbop version.

[smilequeen]

I honestly don't really think that much about it. In general I feel like they understand the difference between entertainment and real life, so if they hear a word in a song I can easily explain that it's not something that I want them using or repeating. I guess I play it by ear. I have had a few times where I changed the station but generally we all listen together to popular music.

[gobadgers]

So, I just read the lyrics to My House, and I don't know what the OP is referring to. I read about taking clothes off and drinking. I don't know what the part "Welcome to my duck off the crib, the spot, the pad" means, but otherwise I don't see anything horrid. I'm sure I'm missing something. Someone please enlighten me!

Yeah, like I said upthread, the lyrics for that particular song could be way worse, this was just one example that came to mind. My real conundrum is that the lyrics aren't super appropriate, combined with the fact that DS and DD have been playing songs over and over and OVER again, learning the lyrics. Lyrics about popping champagne, leaving our clothes on the floor and so on just make me cringe when they are singing them all day.

I was originally hoping for some helpful advice on how to tell what songs/artists are good for what ages, a la Common Sense Media.

[Corie]

I've never censored my kids music. They listen to what I listen to.

Your kids will hear worse on the bus!!

[gobadgers]

A lot of posters are saying that their kids listen to what they listen to. Which is awesome. Us too.

But don't they want to find their own music tastes too? How do you manage when they are browsing music on their own that they don't run into overly explicit stuff?

[georgiegirl]

A lot of posters are saying that their kids listen to what they listen to. Which is awesome. Us too.

But don't they want to find their own music tastes too? How do you manage when they are browsing music on their own that they don't run into overly explicit stuff?

I think there's a setting on the iPad and kindle for explicit lyrics.


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[lalasmama]

I used to be much more concerned than I am now. DD loves music, and is a pop music phase. The sex parts go right over her head. There's a Jason Derillo (sp?) song called "Trumpets" that she loved, and heard at school. It's about how turned on he gets by his lover undressing. DD thought it was all about kids loving band class. If it's on the radio, I'll allow it.

[dogmom]

You mean like sexual lyrics? Well, I wait until they sing them and then explain to them in graphic detail what they are singing about and they run from the room, covering their ears.

Lyrics that I find offensive from a point of view of racism/sexism? I guess I would want to make sure they understand the history behind certain words.

[bisous]

You mean like sexual lyrics? Well, I wait until they sing them and then explain to them in graphic detail what they are singing about and they run from the room, covering their ears.

Lyrics that I find offensive from a point of view of racism/sexism? I guess I would want to make sure they understand the history behind certain words.

I think this approach is actually really effective with teenagers and I plan to be really honest and frank with my kids. When I was a teen, half the time I didn't even know what I was singing. Also, I felt like adults around me were clueless. If an adult had explained exactly what was going on in the song, I'd honestly have more respect for them and then I'd be better able to make my own choice about whether I wanted to sing or listen to the song.

[twowhat?]

Doesn't Kids Bop change words to keep songs "appropriate" (for example in Meghan Trainor's 'No' they change 'untouchable' to 'unreachable')? That's what I've noticed so I don't worry about my kids listening to them (though I might lose my sh*t, there's only so much Kidz Bop I can listen to).

We generally don't worry too much about lyrics, they aren't listening to genres that tend to have a lot of cursing. A curse word here or there or even sketchy lyrics don't really bother me, partly because I can tell a lot of it is totally over their heads and they are enjoying the music for just that - the music.

[lizzywednesday]

...

But don't they want to find their own music tastes too? How do you manage when they are browsing music on their own that they don't run into overly explicit stuff?

Since mine's still under 10, I don't worry about her browsing music on her own. If she wants to listen to it, I have to put it on her iPad myself.