Lice + family party dilemma

[ourbabygirl]

Hi there. We're having a family bday party tomorrow, and just found out that nieces and nephews from one side have lice. :(. I want them to come, and told them to, but DH is thinking we're probably all going to get it now (our whole family had it a couple years ago, and it was not fun; had to do two sets of treatment to fully get rid of it). He says that they should all be treated before they come over (& I agree), and that we should put away all of our throw pillows and blankets from our couches upstairs and downstairs, and lock the kids' bedroom doors so the cousins don't go in there. He thinks the lice can jump, but DSIL says that she heard that they're only spread from head-to-head contact, and is going to braid the girls' hair and make sure they don't rub their heads on anyone or anything. I'll also braid my girls' hair, but I really don't want to get it, either, since it was such a nightmare the first time. The cousins have such a good time playing together, and we've put so much work and money into this party, I don't want them to miss it (and there would only be one other family here, plus the grandparents).
He also thinks we should tell the other side so they can decide if they still want to come. I don't want them to back out, but I guess I understand if they do, though they have more boys than girls, so maybe it wouldn't be quite as much trouble to do the lice treatments if they end up getting it?

Any other precautions we should take? And if it were you, would you still be o.k. having them come over?

Thanks for your help! :)

[SnuggleBuggles]

I don't stress about lice alerts at school but I'd be reluctant to come to your party. Is there no way of rescheduling?


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[Kindra178]

I'm going with AAP on this, which says unequivocally that a kid SHOULD NOT miss a second a school if they have lice. Therefore, I would have the party and not worry about lice. Removing the couch cushions (and maybe vacuuming the coach after they leave) plus making bedrooms off limits seems like a good plan. Lice do not jump but they do crawl. I wouldn't mandate a treatment protocol either, because any kid who enters your home at any time could have lice.

[JBaxter]

I wouldn't have anyone over with lice and would probably be upset if I went to a party with kids who knowingly had lice or had not been cleared. I agree with your DH either uninvited them or reschedule the party if it means that much they are there.

[AnnieW625]

If they have been treated at a lice salon or by a lice professional at their home I wouldn't hesitate to tell them not to come, but since it sounds like they haven't I would tell them they need to be treated professionally or think abou rescheduling.


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[PZMommy]

I wouldn't have anyone over with lice and would probably be upset if I went to a party with kids who knowingly had lice or had not been cleared. I agree with your DH either uninvited them or reschedule the party if it means that much they are there.

This is what I would do. No way would I have them over!

[trales]

how many full comb outs have the parents done? If they have done 1-2 full comb outs and then braid the hair tight, I would be okay with it. By the second really well done comb out, all the lives ones should be gone. Do you believe the parents are doing really detailed comb outs?
The chemical treatments don't work- all lice in the U.S have shown a genetic mutation that makes them resistant to the insecticide. Comb out is the only way to treat. The article was in the Journal of Medical Entomology.

[BunnyBee]

How old are the kids and what kind of treatment has been done?

[Kindra178]

I am shocked by these responses. There are 8 5th graders here and 5 2nd graders. I don't know if these kids have lice or not. They have played tackle football and video games, sat around on chairs, couches and rugs. I didn't perform any lice checks.


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[Kindra178]

Double post

[MMMommy]

I wouldn't have anyone over with lice and would probably be upset if I went to a party with kids who knowingly had lice or had not been cleared. I agree with your DH either uninvited them or reschedule the party if it means that much they are there.

:yeahthat: Sorry, but I agree with this.


I am shocked by these responses. There are 8 5th graders here and 5 2nd graders. I don't know if these kids have lice or not. They have played tackle football and video games, sat around on chairs, couches and rugs. I didn't perform any lice checks.Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

You can't control not knowing who or who doesn't have lice when coming over. That is out of your control. In this case, you know for a fact that they have lice or just had lice. You don't know what kind of treatment has taken place or whether the lice is actually gone. Actively knowing that they have lice and that it might not be properly removed is what would worry me most. I admit, I probably wouldn't enjoy the party worrying about the possible spreading of lice!

[mmsmom]

I'm going with AAP on this, which says unequivocally that a kid SHOULD NOT miss a second a school if they have lice. Therefore, I would have the party and not worry about lice. Removing the couch cushions (and maybe vacuuming the coach after they leave) plus making bedrooms off limits seems like a good plan. Lice do not jump but they do crawl. I wouldn't mandate a treatment protocol either, because any kid who enters your home at any time could have lice.

I agree... my thinking on lice & any illness is if they can go to school then they can participate in any other activities. I would want to feel comfortable that they have been truly treated so no nits. I would let the other family make their own decision. People have different comfort levels with these things and that is ok. Rescheduling would be ideal.

[baymom]

Maybe I'm biased since neither of my kids have ever had lice (knock on wood!), but it really wouldn't bother me. Imagine how many people you have come into contact with that may have had lice without even realizing yet. The girls will have their hair braided, you are removing throw pillows, locking bedrooms, you're good.

[DebbieJ]

If my kids had lice, I wouldn't dream of showing up to a party unless I was sure they were totally clear.

And if I was hosting, I would expect anyone who had lice to stay home. I do NOT want to deal with the hassle of lice if my kids or me were to get it. Ain't nobody got time for that!

[georgiegirl]

I would also want to know if they've had good comb outs or not. And I'd inform the other family so they can appropriately prep their kids hair. I would braid my kids hair and spray it down with hairspray and put lots of gel in it.


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[cookiemonster198]

This happened to us. Everyone put bandanas on the kids heads and sprayed their hair down with tea tree oil beforehand and we didn't get it.

[SnuggleBuggles]

If my kids had lice, I wouldn't dream of showing up to a party unless I was sure they were totally clear.

And if I was hosting, I would expect anyone who had lice to stay home. I do NOT want to deal with the hassle of lice if my kids or me were to get it. Ain't nobody got time for that!

Totally agree


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[bisous]

As a guest I'd have a hard time showing up to the party if my kids had lice. As a host I'd have a really hard time turning them away. That's really tough.

[ang79]

We've never had lice and both girls and I have hair shoulder length or longer so I don't want to deal with it. I would not want guests over to my house if I knew they just had lice. It would stress me out too much! I also wouldn't go to someone else's house if I knew my kids had lice and that it may not be totally gone yet. Good friends visited us last year and several days after they were here mom discovered a bad case of lice on her 6 yr. old daughter, who had been playing closely with my youngest daughter, in her bedroom, playing with stuffed animals, etc. She felt so bad that she may have spread it to us. Thankfully we did not get it, but I thoroughly washed everything that I could and checked the girls hair every night for weeks after that.

[doberbrat]

I am shocked by these responses. There are 8 5th graders here and 5 2nd graders. I don't know if these kids have lice or not. They have played tackle football and video games, sat around on chairs, couches and rugs. I didn't perform any lice checks.

Tomorrow, one of those kids' parents could call and say 'Johnny started throwing up last night suddenly and dr said he has norrovirus. ' Nobody's fault. Or, the parents could show up for pickup and ask how the visit was because 'Johnny 's been throwing up and the dr said its norrovirus.'



If my kids had lice, I wouldn't dream of showing up to a party unless I was sure they were totally clear.

:yeahthat: This is NOT one of those 'sharing is caring moments'!

[Kindra178]

Tomorrow, one of those kids' parents could call and say 'Johnny started throwing up last night suddenly and dr said he has norrovirus. ' Nobody's fault. Or, the parents could show up for pickup and ask how the visit was because 'Johnny 's been throwing up and the dr said its norrovirus.'




:yeahthat: This is NOT one of those 'sharing is caring moments'!

Maybe I am missing your point? Of course that could happen! It actually happened with strep once. Does that mean I don't have them next week?

One more thing. I know girls who have had lice for two weeks - long hair, lots of combing, super easy to miss nits. Are those kids supposed to be quarantined for weeks? No play dates, activities or school?



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[StantonHyde]

No play dates. No. Just no. School is necessary. Play dates are not. Universal precautions is one thing. Knowlingly going out into the world with my really infectious self--that is something else.

[cuca_]

I agree that I would not stress about it. If they have been treated, and their her combed out, I don't see why they couldn't attend. If the parents did nothing about the lice and are waiting for them to somehow disappear, then I can see asking them not to come. If they have treated and diligently combed out their hair, odds are that they don't have any adult lice in their hair. As far as I know, nits don't travel, so that wouldn't be an issue.

I'm with Kindra, I would not quarantine my kids over lice. Would I treat? Of course! But after treating and combing several times, I would continue life as normal. And continue to comb daily in case I missed any nits.

[specialp]

Maybe I am missing your point? Of course that could happen! It actually happened with strep once. Does that mean I don't have them next week?

One more thing. I know girls who have had lice for two weeks - long hair, lots of combing, super easy to miss nits. Are those kids supposed to be quarantined for weeks? No play dates, activities or school?



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Knowledge of an active case (not something that happened last week and is gone) is the key point here. Everyone who has experienced lice HAD lice before they actually knew about it (same with strep, illnesses, etc) and went places, shampoo’d regularly, laid on pillows, shared family combs, rubbed heats, etc. But once you know, you act differently not only to treat it, but to prevent spreading to others.

As for 2 weeks … I suppose so except for school although I’ve only known of one case that lasted that long and that was when I was in 1st grade (so a while ago.). One case of 2 week long lice is better than 30 cases of 2 week long lice.

[petesgirl]

[QUOTE=specialp;4239644]Knowledge of an active case (not something that happened last week and is gone) is the key point here. Everyone who has experienced lice HAD lice before they actually knew about it (same with strep, illnesses, etc) and went places, shampoo’d regularly, laid on pillows, shared family combs, rubbed heats, etc. But once you know, you act differently not only to treat it, but to prevent spreading to others.

QUOTE]

Bingo.

[AnnieW625]

how many full comb outs have the parents done? If they have done 1-2 full comb outs and then braid the hair tight, I would be okay with it. By the second really well done comb out, all the lives ones should be gone. Do you believe the parents are doing really detailed comb outs?
The chemical treatments don't work- all lice in the U.S have shown a genetic mutation that makes them resistant to the insecticide. Comb out is the only way to treat. The article was in the Journal of Medical Entomology.

Combouts are a pita. Dd1 was 8 and DD2 was 3 when my girls ended up with lice (and probably from a situation I created......DD1's 8th birthday party where I had 11 girls over and all of them brought a stuffy......one was one of those giant Teddy Bears.....not quite Costco sized, but huge and then all 11 girls sat in my living room close together and all of them ended up with lice. After the fact I found out that the giant bear a girl brought had never been washed) and so while I had treated my kids and myself with Nix and thought I had thoroughly cleaned them out I hadn't. The lice came back in both of my girls.....or it was never really gone. The girls hated the comb out as it it hurt and I guess I gave up to early and wasn't persistent. I was thorough on myself and then slept overnight wit olive oil in my hair and thank goodness my hair was short at the time too. With all of that said we ended up at a local lice salon and $200 or so later (which qualified for FSA submission) both of my girls were cleaned out and they sat still for the professional people and I wouldn't do it any other way if they ever get lice again. We still have fairy tales comb.


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[trales]

Here is the article on why using Nix and Rid and the other treatments is a waste of time and money.
http://parapro.com/head-lice-resistance/assets/pdfs/Journal-of-Medical-Entomology-Article.pdf

When DD1 got lice, with her thick, waste length hair, I did 4 comb outs with cheap vegetable oil, the first took 4 hours, the rest about 2.5 hours each. I need another comb out every 3 days for 2 weeks. It was a pain, I also did about 18 loads of laundry and vacuumed like crazy. We have no option of professional lice treatment around here, there are as many people in our entire state and some of you have in your surrounding areas.

[AnnieW625]

Yes vacuumed, did a ton of laundry, and put a ton of stuff in black bags for two weeks.


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[TwinFoxes]

Hi there. We're having a family bday party tomorrow, and just found out that nieces and nephews from one side have lice. :(. I want them to come, and told them to, but DH is thinking we're probably all going to get it now (our whole family had it a couple years ago, and it was not fun; had to do two sets of treatment to fully get rid of it). He says that they should all be treated before they come over (& I agree), and that we should put away all of our throw pillows and blankets from our couches upstairs and downstairs, and lock the kids' bedroom doors so the cousins don't go in there. He thinks the lice can jump, but DSIL says that she heard that they're only spread from head-to-head contact, and is going to braid the girls' hair and make sure they don't rub their heads on anyone or anything. I'll also braid my girls' hair, but I really don't want to get it, either, since it was such a nightmare the first time. The cousins have such a good time playing together, and we've put so much work and money into this party, I don't want them to miss it (and there would only be one other family here, plus the grandparents).
He also thinks we should tell the other side so they can decide if they still want to come. I don't want them to back out, but I guess I understand if they do, though they have more boys than girls, so maybe it wouldn't be quite as much trouble to do the lice treatments if they end up getting it?

Any other precautions we should take? And if it were you, would you still be o.k. having them come over?

Thanks for your help! :)

Since you already told them to come, I don't think you can really back out. Lice don't jump, so your DH is wrong there. I think I would still go, but black people don't really get lice. (Before anyone says that's not true, read the last paragraph: https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/lice/head/epi.html)

I do think you should let the other side of the family know. I assume the guests with lice told you for that reason. They should be allowed to make the decision, and it will stop any potential future fights if they get it and found out you knew.

I don't think the norovirus example is equivalent. That's an illness that's easily transmitted and can be dangerous. Lice is an inconvenience.

BTW, I have friends who have had lice, and they swear by that Lice Free spray. One particular friend paid hundreds once for a professional removal, but the next time used the Lice Free and said it was amazing. Just a PSA. :)

[twowhat?]

Since you already told them to come, I don't think you can really back out. Lice don't jump, so your DH is wrong there. I think I would still go, but black people don't really get lice. (Before anyone says that's not true, read the last paragraph: https://www.cdc.gov/parasites/lice/head/epi.html)

I do think you should let the other side of the family know. I assume the guests with lice told you for that reason. They should be allowed to make the decision, and it will stop any potential future fights if they get it and found out you knew.



Our pediatrician told us the same thing about lice and black people, says he thinks it has to do with the curl in the hair (harder for lice to grab on?) or maybe the oils in the hair - his black patients never get lice! Anyway I tend to agree here - you already told them they could come but this is tough...if my kids had lice I would back out of going to a bday party until they had been properly treated. In fact, we were KICKED OUT of a birthday party once because of the discovery of a single dead nit that was a good 2 inches away from the scalp. My kids have black hair so it's easy to see dead nits, which are white. For all those kids with lighter hair - I imagine tons have lice and you just don't know it.

Could you reschedule the party, or relocate it to a park? I just feel like you're going to super stress out while they're in your house, which will cut into your enjoyment of the party. I also see that the party is today so OP, hope things went well! Please update!

[essnce629]

Our pediatrician told us the same thing about lice and black people, says he thinks it has to do with the curl in the hair (harder for lice to grab on?)

OK, I'm 1/2 black (but my hair is 100% black lol) and when DS1 had a horrible lice infestation the first time (you could see the live bugs crawling in his hair!!!) DS2 and I also got it, but not as bad, and DH (who's white) didn't get it at all. DS1 has caucasian hair like DH.

My understanding is that lice like CLEAN hair, as they can attach themselves easily. They don't like gels, leave-in conditioners, shine sprays, etc. DS1 was a swimmer and always had squeaky clean hair from washing it every day and never used product in his hair. He's had lice 4 times!

I really don't think it has to do with the curls. DS2 has super curly mixed kid hair. Everyday before school I spray leave-in conditioner all over his hair, a shine spray, and then add curl defining gel. Besides the one time he got lice as a toddler when DS1 had that infestation, he hasn't gotten lice again despite multiple notes sent home from school about lice outbreaks. I definitely think it has to do with all the hair products in his hair. Same with me, although I definitely use less stuff in my hair, but I don't wash my hair every day.

So, my point is black people aren't immune, but I think anyone, with any type of hair, are less likely to get lice if they use a lot of hair products.

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[ourbabygirl]

Thanks, Everyone!
We ended up rescheduling at the last minute, last night, after talking to the other SIL, who thought the first family should be quarantined for the weekend. Have tons of food to use up now, so we're having other friends over tonight. :)
It was a total bummer, but better safe than sorry, I guess.

[essnce629]

Oh, and I forgot to answer the question! After dealing with lice in our house 4 times, which sucks hardcore, I would not be attending a party or inviting anyone over who I knew had an active case of lice! No thank you! And so many people don't do the comb outs, just the boxed chemical stuff, which doesn't work.

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[Kindra178]

Double post


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[Kindra178]

Adult men tend not to get lice. Something to do with male hormones. That's what the owner of the professional lice salon told us. He has never once gotten it. We have dealt with three infestations here - dh has never gotten it and I have only gotten in once.


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[TwinFoxes]

OK, I'm 1/2 black (but my hair is 100% black lol) and when DS1 had a horrible lice infestation the first time (you could see the live bugs crawling in his hair!!!) DS2 and I also got it, but not as bad, and DH (who's white) didn't get it at all. DS1 has caucasian hair like DH.



So, my point is black people aren't immune, but I think anyone, with any type of hair, are less likely to get lice if they use a lot of hair products.

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The theory, according to the CDC is that lice evolved to attach to certain types of hair. I've never know a black person, who's not biracial to get lice. I don't think its impossible. But I think it's uncommon.

[specialp]

Thanks, Everyone!
We ended up rescheduling at the last minute, last night, after talking to the other SIL, who thought the first family should be quarantined for the weekend. Have tons of food to use up now, so we're having other friends over tonight. :)
It was a total bummer, but better safe than sorry, I guess.

I'm happy you were able to reschedule and make the best of it by having friends over!