Is this normal? 7th graders and supervision

[mommy111]

So DD's middle school has no check in and check out. Kids regularly leave school in free time to go to the corner stores or starbuck's and grab coffee or a snack. My DD is 13. I find this appalling. FWIW, I allow DD to walk home a few blocks away at a predictable time when we know to look out for her. But I would not allow her to walk to the starbuck's at the beginning or middle of the school day without any parental or teacher knowledge. Apparently I'm unique and strange and controlling

[KpbS]

No, not normal at all here. Not even for high school. Maybe it has to do with the school's setting since these places are with in walking distance? Free time? Like study hall? Before school?

Sounds like a pretty bad idea. What if something happens to them while off campus?

[mommy111]

No, not normal at all here. Not even for high school. Maybe it has to do with the school's setting since these places are with in walking distance? Free time? Like study hall? Before school?

Sounds like a pretty bad idea. What if something happens to them while off campus?
Your question re safety was my question exactly. I was told it is an urban school and that this is what they do. Before, after and during unstructured time in between
Glad to know I'm not the sole crazy mom who thinks this is not OK!!! At least not with my child's level of maturity

[robinsmommy]

Many high schools have semi closed campuses-11th and 12th graders can leave, perhaps, but not the younger kids. They have found that too many of the younger kids would opt not to come back after lunch, and would be off getting into trouble of some sort. But yep, I would be horrified and wonder why the school would do that with liability issues what they are in the US.

There is something to say for giving kids freedom of choice to learn responsibility, but during the school day at that age would not be it for me- that should be parental choice during home life.

[mousemom]

I attended an urban school, with many restaurants and stores within short walking distance. Starting in 8th grade we were allowed to leave school during our lunch period. However, we had to sign in and out so that they had some record of who was in the building. As seniors we were allowed to leave during free periods as well as during lunch, but still had to sign in and out.

[JBaxter]

A lot of kids walk to school where DS3 attends middle school and it would be a big NO WAY for them to leave campus not being signed out by a parent or guardian. ( Sarasota FL)

[belovedgandp]

I'm trying to figure out how they have this free time? With 5 minute passing periods and 25 minutes for lunch their time is accounted for all day long. There's a activity time/study hall for the last 30 minutes of the day, but students have assigned rooms and need passes to go to activities, visit other teachers, etc.

DS is in 7th grader; suburban setting with the middle school on the edge of the neighborhood. Many students walk to or from school, but only a few homes would be less than a 10 minute walk. The only businesses within 5-10 minute walking distance are dry cleaner, paint, and day care.

While I do send my 7th grader on solo errands (including walking to Walgreen's 1/4 mile from our home just last night) that is completely different than during the school day with no one knowing.

[khalloc]

I went to high school in Boston near Children's Hospital and the Beth Israel. We were not allowed to leave except if you had a 7th period study (last class of the day) AND you were a senior. Then you were allowed to leave early. I had one teacher in 11th & 12th grades who would let us leave during a homeroom period and walk to Brueggars and buy bagels for the class. Then he would send someone to the stairwell to look out for us and let us back in the building.

[Indianamom2]

That would not fly in any setting for me. I know that when I was a senior in high school (small Christian school, very rural) we could leave early if we were done with classes, but we had to sign out. I would not be ok not knowing where my kids were when they were supposed to be in school.

[SnuggleBuggles]

My ds1 complains because he goes to school in the suburbs with nothing to walk to while most of his friends go to school in the city and there's tons to walk to. It appears that his friends are able to go off campus to get lunch, coffee... but I will have to ask him about sign out procedure. I'd be fine with the leaving but I think it is absolutely reasonable to make the students sign in and out.e
ta- I'd let my 13yo kiddo leave with friends. Just have her text you when / where she's going. If she doesn't have a phone, I assume one of her friends does.

[mom2binsd]

Most schools don't allow for kids to leave campus, ours doesn't even though there is a frozen yogurt and coffee shop within spitting distance and a college campus surrounds the school.

I do not have any issues with my middle school child going to the store on her own though, she has been riding her bike 2 miles to swim practice and rides her bike or walks to the store with friends or on her own all the time.

Do you let her go places on her own during her free time?

[khm]

No, our kids cannot leave the elem or middle school campus randomly throughout the day. There's no where to go, though. The school is in a very very sleepy town. There is literally nothing to do, unless you live right across the street, there is no option for coffee shops, convenience stores, etc. Their schedules aren't set up that it'd be practical anyways, even for those living nearby.

Additionally, the doors are locked from the outside, they'd have to be buzzed back in by the office personnel. I thought this was normal in schools nowadays?

The only slight "freedom" the middle schoolers get is that if they have an appointment where their parent is picking them up (and has notified the school), the parent doesn't have to actually come into the office to retrieve them. The kid can go to the office, sign themselves out, and walk out. The way the office is situated, they can usually see the parent waiting in their car.

[mikala]

Nope, our local middle school does not allow kids to leave during the day and I would not be comfortable with that. The high school does allow them to leave over lunch and a lot of the kids eat at nearby restaurants...and some get themselves into a lot of trouble with drugs, alcohol, etc. They have talked about changing the high school policy to reduce discipline problems and keep the kids more focused on school during the day.

[DualvansMommy]

No, our kids cannot leave the elem or middle school campus randomly throughout the day. There's no where to go, though. The school is in a very very sleepy town. There is literally nothing to do, unless you live right across the street, there is no option for coffee shops, convenience stores, etc. Their schedules aren't set up that it'd be practical anyways, even for those living nearby.

Additionally, the doors are locked from the outside, they'd have to be buzzed back in by the office personnel. I thought this was normal in schools nowadays?

The only slight "freedom" the middle schoolers get is that if they have an appointment where their parent is picking them up (and has notified the school), the parent doesn't have to actually come into the office to retrieve them. The kid can go to the office, sign themselves out, and walk out. The way the office is situated, they can usually see the parent waiting in their car.

That is us to a T! Elementary and middle schools is less than half a mile and a mile and half away from my home deep in residential streets. There's only a park across from middle school as far entertainment goes. Only freedom middle school kids get is study hall as last period of their days, and ability to sign themselves out from office to wait outside for pickup by a parent. Maybe have the ability to walk home, but it has some restrictions as only allow students who live within 2 miles of the middle school to bike/walk home. Anything further needs to be picked up regardless.

In addition to that, doors are locked automatically every morning at 9am sharp and need to be buzzed in/out. This is even within small sleepy suburban town with only residential homes surrounding the campus.

Our HS is in different town and district though and is situated in more of smaller urban town. There's tons of restaurants, Starbucks and a downtown within walking distance from the HS. I'm sure they have policies set up regarding who can go, when and how. Something I've to ask my neighbor since her son is a sophomore there. I wouldn't be happy AT ALL with your set up.

I'm thinking what if a big emergency happened at the school where every student needs to be accounted for?? But couldn't tell the parents where their child is! Yikes a recipe for disaster.


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[robinsmommy]

I realize that the chances of a child getting snatched are very small. But if it did happen, how long would it take them to catch it at the school? I am thinking that the "golden hour" they talk about for recovery of kidnap victims would be pretty much gone.

And as Dualvansmommy pointed out, if something, anything did happen (shooting, lock down, natural disaster), how would you even know where to start looking for your child? This is a lawsuit waiting to happen.

[scrooks]

What about safety? I don't have middle schoolers yet but I thought to prevent shooting all schools are kept secure throughout the day?

[Corie]

So DD's middle school has no check in and check out. Kids regularly leave school in free time to go to the corner stores or starbuck's and grab coffee or a snack. My DD is 13. I find this appalling. FWIW, I allow DD to walk home a few blocks away at a predictable time when we know to look out for her. But I would not allow her to walk to the starbuck's at the beginning or middle of the school day without any parental or teacher knowledge. Apparently I'm unique and strange and controlling


My husband and I would definitely NOT be okay with that at all.

[gamma]

In my town, beginning in HS, students are allowed to leave the school during lunch. They walk to local businesses or on nice days sit on benches. I really think that it's a great opportunity to learn responsibility and time management! They leave for lunch, are having a good time with friends, but still have to keep their eye on the time and gauge by how far they have gone, when to start heading back. It has been like this for more than 50 years. We are in a populated enough area that there are always vehicles going by and residents walking. I lived for a short time in a more rural area having a Regional HS with a locked campus. The cut rate for students was much higher, since it was a challenge to leave.

[123LuckyMom]

My current town doesn't do anything like that, but there's NOTHING within walking distance of the school. The American suburban town where I grew up only allowed that for older high school students, most of whom had cars. In my English boarding school, though, there were extensive periods of free time where we were allowed to go into town, even at night for the older kids. The drinking age there was 16, so we would often go out to the pub in the evenings. Even at middle school age we were actually given quite a bit of freedom, and many of us did lots of traveling and adventuring on our own. I remember taking the public bus to neighboring cities for the afternoon to go shopping. As long as we were back for evening classes or by curfew, depending on the day, it was fine. There just wasn't the same panic in the UK in those days about kids. We were given lots of what might be considered adult responsibilities and freedoms, and we were expected to behave responsibly, and, on the whole, we did.

I don't really see the difference between letting kids sign out and leave and then sign back in as opposed to leaving and then being expected back at the next class. One would assume an absence from the next class would be reported/detected, and the school would know pretty quickly that the student was not where s/he should be. I would only have a problem with this system if attendance wasn't taken in classes so that nobody would know until after school day had ended that the child hadn't returned home. If that were the case, I wouldn't be at all comfortable.

[citymama]

Umm, even our elementary school has no formal check in and check out. Yes, from K-2 grade teachers wait with the kids while they're lined up for pick up. But my 5th grader just gets dismissed - what she does after is not monitored by the teacher. At the end of the day, she could walk by herself out of school, to after care, or hang out on the school playground. I don't believe there have ever been any issues.

And I don't think there's any check in and out in our middle school. In elem school they can't leave campus during the day but they can in high school for lunch - not sure about middle.

[khm]

Umm, even our elementary school has no formal check in and check out. Yes, from K-2 grade teachers wait with the kids while they're lined up for pick up. But my 5th grader just gets dismissed - what she does after is not monitored by the teacher. At the end of the day, she could walk by herself out of school, to after care, or hang out on the school playground. I don't believe there have ever been any issues.

And I don't think there's any check in and out in our middle school. In elem school they can't leave campus during the day but they can in high school for lunch - not sure about middle.

Oh, our kids aren't monitored AFTER school. They are dismissed. I'm sure the teachers oversee, but they have no idea who goes where. My kids could get on any bus they choose, if they are going home with a friend or need to be dropped off in town vs in our neighborhood, etc. They could walk home with a friend (we live in a different town). They could stay for a practice.

But, if they leave *during* the day, they have to check out. They aren't allowed to just walk out in the middle of the day and go to (an imaginary) Starbucks. Leaving is for an appointment, and we need to call and let the office know.

I remember the first time I realized no one was tracked at dismissal was in 2nd grade, a mom asked me to pick up her daughter along with mine and I realized there was no one to tell. I just had to find her on the sidewalk with all the other "pickup line" kids and take her....

In early elem I think we had to write notes if we wanted them to ride a different bus, but I can't remember when that was no longer necessary.

[mommy111]

Thank you all for your responses and good to know I'm not crazy or alone in thinking this is more freedom than I'm comfortable with. My DD has been killing to go with friends to the neighborhood cafe or Starbucks, because apparently 'everyone does it'. I'm the evil queen because I don't allow it. She's 12. I would probably be comfortable with her doing stuff by herself, but going out with friends where they are all egging each other to be stupid seems like a recipe for disaster

[niccig]

I think that's crazy on part of the school - they're supposed to know who is on/off campus for security reasons/lock downs/emergencies. As a staff member, I'm supposed to sign in/out so they know to account for me or not. DS goes to middle school next year (grade 7) and he'll have to walk home. There's a group of kids who will all walk together into our neighborhood - a resident is a police officer and he sets up the walking group for the middle schoolers. The police officer told me he set it up, not because of fear of kidnapping, but because kids do stupid things, so expectations of behavior are laid out.