Major potty training backslide

[fredct]

We potty trained out now 2 3/4 year old DD between Christmas and New Years. She did great. She was clearly ready and understood. She barely had an accident even during training. Okay a few, especially if TV was on, but she started out her training something like 12 for 12 (loaded up with juice :-) ). She did a great job. Her daycare teachers were impressed and said they considered her basically trained after just a few days. They were even putting her down for her nap without a pull-up, something it took another couple weeks for us to get brave enough to do.

Then over the last 2 to 3 weeks she started having accidents more often. At first it was just that she'd start going pee and catch herself and then ask to use the potty. So she'd get her underwear a little wet a lot. Then in the last week or so she basically had a full out pee in her pants at least once per day. Cultimating in this weekend... in which she wet her pants 2-3 times yesterday, and 4 straight times today without once asking to use the potty. When you ask her her pee pee and poop goes, she understand, she says in the potty. She's a bright girl, she totally gets it. But it feels like she's just being defiant or doesn't care. She was never an infant that cared about having a wet or dirty diaper, and honestly she doesn't seem bothered by wet pants. Usually if I ask her why she peed in her pants she says "because I wanted to".

It's hard not to get ticked off and angry at her. Any advice on what we should do???

[JBaxter]

I'd start cleaning her up with cold water Her choice she wets her pants and it sounds like on purpose then wipe her down with cold tap water.. It sounds like she's just being lazy on going to the potty. If she hasn't gone in a while I'd make her go sit. The because I wanted to would have made me snap I couldn't have not scolded mine with that answer. Big girls get big girl things ( like watching special shows , toys, activities ) but if she wants to be a baby and wet herself then all those specials can be put on hold. But all that is only if you are sure she doesn't have an UTI but if she is saying she peed because she wanted to its like any other behavior. Go as far as if she wants to watch a show on TV make sure she needs to go pee first not potty no show. On purpose is different that a little wet spot in the panties or not making it as they are heading to the bathroom.

[ArizonaGirl]

Honestly it sounds as if she has back slid a bit and it might be time to going back to going and sitting every hour or so like at the very beginning.

It could be that she has just decided that she no longer wants to stop what she is doing to go potty so requiring her to go sit every hour or so eliminates that issue.

[mikala]

How is her poop? Any chance she's constipated?

[BDKmom]

I would first make sure she's not constipated, then go back to reminding her to go. I found with both of mine, they rarely had accidents at first, but then they either got over confident in how much control they had over their body and couldn't hold it as long as they thought they could, or got too distracted by what they were doing and forgot. I don't think, at 2, that she can recognize and verbalized to you why she didn't go. I also think it's all much harder when they don't care about being dirty. Stick with it, it's just a set back. And make sure she isn't constipated, because that throws everything out of whack.

[Snow mom]

I think potty training is a novelty for some kids. When the novelty of using the potty wears off that's when the accidents begin. I'd go back to having her use the potty on a schedule. I honestly wouldn't do anything beyond that assuming she will sit willingly. If she has an accident I'd take that to mean she needs more reminders that it's time to use the potty.

[azzeps]

Try really, really hard not to show your anger! I know it's hard!!!! Potty training is SO DIFFICULT!!! They go through lots of phases before they totally figure it out. She is still very little. If you get upset, she will know she's got your number. Just keep giving reminders.... maybe double up on undies, or get some of the training pants that have the cotton that will absorb some. Do what you need to do for you, to make cleaning up easier, and try not to worry about it. She will get it eventually. It's just pee.

ETA - what I meant to say is try hard not to get into a power struggle over pottying, because it is a battle you will not win. Ask me how I know....

[mackmama]

First I would rule out a UTI and constipation. Then I'd use a reward chart with a big prize at the end and try not to show any frustration even tho I know it's frustrating.

[Liziz]

Like PP, I think it's important to rule out UTI and constipation (a child can be constipated even if they're pooping regularly!), both of which can make kids have less control. If those are both fine, then I think you just need to go back to setting routine and very frequent pee breaks. Kids get so focused on what they're doing, they hate to stop to go to the bathroom. And if it's a kid who doesn't really care if they're wet....well, that's just even less motivation. I agree strongly that you should really avoid making it a power struggle. Honestly, I'd put her in pull-ups again before making it a power struggle. Did you do treats/rewards of any sort when you were potty training? Like the "sticker if you pee" or "M&M each time you pee"? If so, I'd bring back the rewards -- my daughter potty trained pretty early, but she needed positive reinforcement for quite awhile to make it worth it to her. Good luck!