Parent Teacher meetings - what do you ask?

[khalloc]

I have parent teacher meetings for both of my kids this afternoon. I always feel like I go in without thinking of any questions for the teachers. In general my kids are easy students. They dont struggle with any subjects and pass with flying colors, so alot of the meeting is the teacher saying she/he is on target or above grade level, etc...but I feel like I should ask SOMETHING.

For DD she will be graduating to the middle school for 6th grade next year. I am interested in how teachers are matched to students there. I would like my DD to be in a class separate from her BFF (who isnt acting like much of a BFF this year). So I want to talk to the teacher about that a little.

For DS I am at a loss. He is amazing at math but I dont think his current teacher really challenges him too much. He mostly complains he is bored. He reads and is above grade level but he doesnt LOVE reading. This is really the last Parent-Teacher meeting of the year. He's had some trouble on the bus this year but the teacher wont really have any insight to that and i think his problems will go away next year when he isnt one of the youngest kids on the bus and when the 5th graders are no longer on his bus.

So any good things to talk to the teacher about? Not really concerned with either kid's academics. They both got excellent report cards.

[Philly Mom]

I would ask about how to get your DS more challenged in math. Is there a way to stretch him? For example, my friend's DS gets slightly more difficult practice problems related to the same concept that is being taught to the class. No one knows so he is being given harder problems. I think a few kids get them. I would also ask about your DS having access to the librarian so he can discuss what he likes to read. Perhaps it is the books that are lowering his love of reading. Can he read non-fiction to satisfy the same sort of requirements she uses fiction for?

[squimp]

Do they have different levels in math at the new school? How do they decide how to place kids in those classes? We have had 4+ different levels since 3rd grade and it allows kids to be met where they are.

[hillview]

I always ask about peer interaction. Exec function checks, problem solving, do they speak up in class, good decision making skills (peer interactions) etc are also good topics. For your DS I'd ask how they might challenge him more -- maybe some extra credit worksheets? Is there another math group he could be put with? If there are any books the teacher thinks your DS might really enjoy?

[khalloc]

Do they have different levels in math at the new school? How do they decide how to place kids in those classes? We have had 4+ different levels since 3rd grade and it allows kids to be met where they are.

Good idea! DD is also good at math and I would like to know how they place kids for math, reading etc.. in the older grades.

DS has minimal math homework. He's supposed to do 10 min a night on an app like Dreambox, Everyday Math, etc...I dont know if he is getting more challenging work at school, but I know he is always coming home with 100% on unit math tests.

[ahisma]

We spent conferences this fall (Nov. 9) talking about the election results, so take my input with a grain of salt...

My kids sound a lot like your kids. To add to it, it's a small-ish school with lots of parent / teacher contact so there's rarely something that we don't already know about. We tend to skip non-essential homework (their grades are great - solid 100%) and it's been a non-issue since day 1. I'm always expecting that to come up in conferences but it never has.

I always ask if there is anything that the teacher feels we could do at home to benefit either our kiddos or the teacher. After that, I tend to focus on how they functioning as students, classmates, and friends. Do they seem to be paying attention? Are they respectful? Are they helpful, beyond what is asked of them? I also like to ask what they seem to enjoy reading in class, because often it's different than what they read at home.

Math extension work has definitely been a topic here, but I've had much better success scheduling a separate meeting for that than trying to cram it into a 15 minute slot.

[PZMommy]

Teacher here....

I'd ask what can you do to help challenge them more.

As for classes for 6th grade, here we have no influence for where they place the students. I teach 5th grade this year. I will get a form for my students asking if they should be in regular, basic, or advanced level classes. I fill in the bubble for my choice, attach the report card, and then the middle school handles it from there. I think based on the number of students and the fact they have to fit certain schedules makes middle school less likely to honor requests about being separated from friends, etc.

[StantonHyde]

I always ask if my kids are being respectful-shows the teachers i am on their side and I do care about this.

[doberbrat]

I ask about peer interactions and effort. I know the material comes easy to her but is she putting forth effort when she can/needs to. Is she engaging in class? Acting as a mentor to her peers? What can we do to provide more challenge both at home and at school? What books might spark more interest?

[Green_Tea]

I am a teacher and in the midst of conferences this week. Questions that I think matter:

- What do you see as my child's strengths?
- How can my child grow as a student and as a citizen? (Be open minded about the answer here - I have lots of very bright students who are also very rigid and have a hard time working with others. They might be advanced - even gifted - but they are lacking other important skills that they need to cultivate to continue to be successful in the long term.)
- How are my child's work habits? (Even very bright kids can have poor work habits - they may not be holding them back now, but will catch up with them later.)
- Does my child have friends? Do they get along with others?
- Do you think my child puts in the maximum effort? (Just FYI - in my experience kids who complain about being "bored" very rarely are my hardest workers.)
- Does my child participate actively and are they engaged? What is their affect like? (I prepare kids for middle school. A kid who always appears to bored and unengaged - even if they are simply reserved or quiet - will not necessarily make the best impression.)

[Green_Tea]

Teacher here....


As for classes for 6th grade, here we have no influence for where they place the students. I teach 5th grade this year. I will get a form for my students asking if they should be in regular, basic, or advanced level classes. I fill in the bubble for my choice, attach the report card, and then the middle school handles it from there. I think based on the number of students and the fact they have to fit certain schedules makes middle school less likely to honor requests about being separated from friends, etc.

This is true. Fifth grade teachers have little say over who kids get placed with in middle school. If you have a very strong preference, you should contact the middle school team directly. But think carefully about what's important and what the overall chances of kids ending up together might be. Sometimes it's wise to save your chits for what matters.

[StantonHyde]

I am a teacher and in the midst of conferences this week. Questions that I think matter:

- What do you see as my child's strengths?
- How can my child grow as a student and as a citizen? (Be open minded about the answer here - I have lots of very bright students who are also very rigid and have a hard time working with others. They might be advanced - even gifted - but they are lacking other important skills that they need to cultivate to continue to be successful in the long term.)
- How are my child's work habits? (Even very bright kids can have poor work habits - they may not be holding them back now, but will catch up with them later.)
- Does my child have friends? Do they get along with others?
- Do you think my child puts in the maximum effort? (Just FYI - in my experience kids who complain about being "bored" very rarely are my hardest workers.)
- Does my child participate actively and are they engaged? What is their affect like? (I prepare kids for middle school. A kid who always appears to bored and unengaged - even if they are simply reserved or quiet - will not necessarily make the best impression.)

These are great ideas--thanks so much!

[khalloc]

Thanks Everyone. Conferences flew by. DD's 5th grade teacher always goes over how well she does, what a great roll model she is, how advanced she is. That she does well with her peers and gets along well with everyone. He brought 2 pieces of her creative writing and opinion writing to read to us and pointed out why she got such a good grade on each. We didnt get a chance to talk about next year at all! He did point out how advanced she is at math and said to challenge her, he would like to see her start thinking algebraically when it comes to solving math problems. She is great at these, but he wants to see her try making up equations to solve these (something that will challenge her).

DS's teacher is a friend of ours and she is hilarious. She just went over how he has gotten better at some things in the classroom (not calling out answers, being more respectful, etc...) She has given him more division challenge sheets to work on during math time because she said he can answer questions before she even finishes asking them and his peers are taking 5 minutes to find the answer. So I think he is getting challenge work in math, its just stuff at school that is not being sent home. She also said he ASKS to take math assessment tests for FUN! LOL. She has been teacher for 20 years and said she's never had a kid who wants to take these assessment tests. So I think he is getting enough challenging work. He is a kid who says he is bored and complains just to try to get you to let him not do homework, or stay home sick, etc...She's like to see him take on a leadership roll in the class.

For DD, I think I will write on the class placement form and ask to have her separated from her BFF next year. Her and her friend have been in class together since 1st grade and they are having some growing pains lately. BFF is ignoring her and choosing to sit with other girls at lunch and deliberately leaving DD out. Its making DD feel sad and led to her having to sit alone at lunch. I think I'd like to see her with a different group of friends next year, maybe having a different lunch/recess from this BFF so that she doesnt feel like this girl gets to decide if DD has a friend or not at lunch/recess, etc...