Homework signatures

[MSWR0319]

DS has a homework chart (2nd grade) that parents are required to sign each night. DS is an excellent student, has no problems in class and always does his homework. He's a people pleaser and gets very upset if he messes up at school by getting something wrong, etc. Too much of a perfectionist for an 8 year old. Last night he asked me if I had signed his chart and again this morning. I thought I had, so I said yes, but didn't check. He gets in the car all mad and starts crying and yelling at me (he's currently in therapy to help with his inability to control his emotions, which only happens at home) because now he lost a sticker and it's all my fault. Well, yes it is my fault. I was the one that didn't sign it. He now won't get a slip that allows him an extra privilege, had to move his clip, and won't get a sticker for another contest they do. He did everything he could short of signing my name, so why should he get 'punished' for it? I've had issues with some of the strictness in his class this year. I won't say anything to her, it's her's class and her rules, but how do other teachers handle this sort of thing?

[PZMommy]

That is pretty harsh punishment for such a small one time offense. I'd be ticked!! Parent signatures are not a student's fault. I do not punish students for that kind of offense.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Wow. That stinks!
Ds2 gets a buck each time his is signed, to be added to his class bank (to buy privileges). No penalty if not signed.


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[trcy]

Wait, so he did the homework but got dinged only because you didn't sign it?! That's crazy!
I know you don't want to say anything to the teacher, but I would explain to to her that he asked you if you signed it and you thought you had. He did everything he could, I am not sure he could have done more.


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[georgiegirl]

I agree it's unreasonable for him to be punished because you didn't sign the homework.

And it think it's ridiculous that parents are required to sign planners and homework sheets. I don't want to have one more thing I'm supposed to remember to do on a daily basis. I understand signing an end of the unit math assessment or something special, but signatures on a daily basis are too much.


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[vonfirmath]

Wait, so he did the homework but got dinged only because you didn't sign it?! That's crazy!
I know you don't want to say anything to the teacher, but I would explain to to her that he asked you if you signed it and you thought you had. He did everything he could, I am not sure he could have done more.



I do my best to sign these types of things. But there is one more thing the kid can do. Instead of asking if his mom has signed, he can fish the homework out of the backpack and check for a signature. Then take the paper to his mom with pen in hand to get a signature if not. Ultimately, since he will suffer the penalty for not doing it, it is to his benefit to make sure it is done and not just ask if it has been completed. Something even parents have to learn -- don't ask your kid if they cleaned up their room, go back there and check if the room is picked up to your standards.

I can ask my son if he packed his homework for the next day and he can say Yes. -- but it still be sitting on his desk. So I have emphasized to him to check and make sure, not just that his homework folder is in the backpack, but also that his homework is IN the homework folder. (because we've also had that happen -- the homework still sitting on the table where it was done, but he put his homework folder in his backpack and thought he had it)

OTOH, my son is 4th grade - -a couple of years later.

[ahisma]

DS1 is also in 4th, so like PP our expectations are a bit different. He needs to remember the requirement himself, get the planner, and bring it be me with a pen, then return it to his bag. Once in a while I'll remind him, but not often enough for him to be able to count on it. We do it in the morning before school, so the onus of remembering the homework and doing it is on him too. He pulls it off 99% of the time.

With a signature and completed homework, he gets a sticker in his planner. For every 30 stickers, the teacher gives him a gumball. I think the class gets a marble if everyone did their homework.

In second grade, we didn't do much homework. DS2 is in second grade and still doesn't do it most nights - which is fine by me, and apparently with his teacher too since she's never mentioned despite plenty of opportunity and ongoing open dialogue. He has no penalty at school for not doing it.

ETA: Re-reading this, we look like real slacker parents. We aren't, I promise! I'm just not into busywork. The kids both are top of their class, vey respectful and rarely get under 95% on a test. DH is a teacher and doesn't really believe in much homework. We both know their teachers well - they'd definitely tell us if there was a concern.

More central to your post - I think your teacher's response is over the top. I'd email her though, to confirm. Sometimes kid perceptions are different than the policy in practice.

[cvanbrunt]

I sign those asinine log things all at once. Homework is finished or it is not, my initials won't change that. I've never been challenged by a teacher.

[MSWR0319]

More central to your post - I think your teacher's response is over the top. I'd email her though, to confirm. Sometimes kid perceptions are different than the policy in practice.

I have no doubt it's true. I help in the class once a week and am in charge of checking the homework sheets on the day I am in there. I know the protocol. She has very strict rules. For example, 2 minutes to go to the bathroom and any time over, move your clip. They have to go down a flight of stairs to use the restroom also. I don't think I can pee in 2 minutes.


I sign those asinine log things all at once. Homework is finished or it is not, my initials won't change that. I've never been challenged by a teacher.

Brilliant idea! I think I may try this. DS told me sometimes one kid in his class signs it ME and doesn't get in trouble, which really surprises me. I was just happy DS didn't forge my signature.

[ahisma]

I sign those asinine log things all at once. Homework is finished or it is not, my initials won't change that. I've never been challenged by a teacher.

That's a good point. For ours, I'm just supposed to sign that I've seen the planner and the assignments - not that they're done.

[ahisma]

I have no doubt it's true. I help in the class once a week and am in charge of checking the homework sheets on the day I am in there. I know the protocol. She has very strict rules. For example, 2 minutes to go to the bathroom and any time over, move your clip. They have to go down a flight of stairs to use the restroom also. I don't think I can pee in 2 minutes.

That is ridiculous. FWIW, a similar sot of approach sent DS2 over the edge last year. He has anxiety and just could not deal. He only got his clip moved once, but spent the whole year terrified of the darn clip.

[JBaxter]

Sorry all that is nuts. Here its one stamp for bringing your agenda back and 2 stamps if its signed. Kids collect stamps for quarterly fun days They earn stamps for many other things. Signed is just a way to earn more.

[MSWR0319]

That is ridiculous. FWIW, a similar sot of approach sent DS2 over the edge last year. He has anxiety and just could not deal. He only got his clip moved once, but spent the whole year terrified of the darn clip.

I am fairly certain that DS also has anxiety and she is pushing him over the edge. He is afraid of breathing wrong and getting his clip moved and I think that's why he acts out at home. He holds it in all day and then needs to let his emotions out at home. I can't wait until this year is over.

[Green_Tea]

I sign those asinine log things all at once. Homework is finished or it is not, my initials won't change that. I've never been challenged by a teacher.

I do this too! And I AM a teacher.

OP - I would email the teacher and flat out say that this requirement is causing way too much stress for you child, and that you will be signing once a week. Tell her that you do not want your child penalized for this unless he doesn't have his homework done. Seriously. It's a ridiculous policy for a second grader.

[calebsmama03]

That is obnoxious. We've had ONE teacher who required such a thing (signature on daily planner in 5th grade) but she checked it once a week (usually Friday but sometimes a random spot check). The kids who did have it all signed got their name in a drawing for prizes (held monthly) so it was more a reward for remembering than a punishment for forgetting. Much more effective and appropriate st this level, imo.

FWIW, I'd probably be the one to say something to the teacher about it.

[niccig]

I signed my mothers initials in 2nd grade when she forgot. Like your son, I did my homework. She saw it the next time she went to sign, and I explained why I did it. She told me to continue signing in future. So I did. She was a teacher and knew I was responsible and did my work. Probably not best parenting strategy.


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[acmom]

I hate the signing things and I'm not a fan of elementary homework in general. I used to teach (k-2) and I was anti-homework and signing then too. It just seems like busywork that both ends, school and home, have to keep track of (especially when the research shows it isn't beneficial!). I don't blame you or your DS for being upset- the whole situation sounds harsh for that age group. I would email the teacher and explain the effect it has on your son.


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[HannaAddict]

I would tell the teacher and object. And I don't overrule teachers that often.


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[AngB]

ETA: Re-reading this, we look like real slacker parents. We aren't, I promise! I'm just not into busywork. The kids both are top of their class, vey respectful and rarely get under 95% on a test. DH is a teacher and doesn't really believe in much homework. We both know their teachers well - they'd definitely tell us if there was a concern.

More central to your post - I think your teacher's response is over the top. I'd email her though, to confirm. Sometimes kid perceptions are different than the policy in practice.

I am glad you said this b/c DS1's kinder teacher sends home a ton of crap (all parent help/signature required crap) and I never make DS1 do it except the reading. (And even the reading, she wants him to read a worksheet of sentences 3-5 times...I only make him read it once...and I only make him do it once a week...because he HATES it and so do I.) Everyone I know is always surprised that we don't do all the homework. I am a former teacher and just don't have tolerance for this kind of crap for 5 year olds. DS1 is at and above grade level on everything so I'm more concerned with not making him hate school at 5 years old then I am with the "extra reinforcement."

[ett]

I agree that it is a ridiculous policy for 2nd graders, or any grade for that matter. I would also tell the teacher that this is causing anxiety for your child. If you don't get a satisfactory response from the teacher, I would reach out to the guidance counselor.

[KpbS]

I am fairly certain that DS also has anxiety and she is pushing him over the edge. He is afraid of breathing wrong and getting his clip moved and I think that's why he acts out at home. He holds it in all day and then needs to let his emotions out at home. I can't wait until this year is over.

Poor guy. :hug: I can't stand the overly strict teachers. :( They just need to be in the classes with the real behavior challenges, no where else.

[DualvansMommy]

I would tell the teacher and object. And I don't overrule teachers that often.


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Yes, I'm usually the one who want to work with teachers. But this is beyond ridiculous and way out of proportion to 2nd graders.

Are you the OP with serious issues over the allergy protocol your son teacher tried to go over you? And the same teacher with stupid bathroom rule??

Why is your son STILL in her classroom in March? Definitely bring it up to the teacher.


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[PZMommy]

I have no doubt it's true. I help in the class once a week and am in charge of checking the homework sheets on the day I am in there. I know the protocol. She has very strict rules. For example, 2 minutes to go to the bathroom and any time over, move your clip. They have to go down a flight of stairs to use the restroom also. I don't think I can pee in 2 minutes.

This is insane!!! I can't believe she is allowed to do this. I have a bathroom in the portable right next to mine. Even my best of students, can not get there and back in 2 minutes. Kids that routinely take 10+ minutes, I talk to and they some times have to make up the extra time at recess, because I know they are in there playing, but for the majority, I trust them to go there, do their business and retrurn to class promptly. I see no reason to enforce some crazy rule on all my students when I just have a few that try to take advantage of the bathroom policy. I deal with those students individually. This rule would have me at the principal's office the first week of school. What happens when a child falls on the stairs because they are rushing to be back in time for her two minute rule??

There is a difference between a structured and strict teacher with high expectations, and a crazy teacher with unreasonable expectations and punishments. This teacher falls into the second category.

[Pear]

I would protest to the teacher.

If you aren't going to be sure to do your part, I would also tell your kid that it is ok to sign it himself. He shouldn't have to suffer consequences because of adult behavior whether it is parental oversight or ridiculous rules.

[123LuckyMom]

My DS is in 2nd grade, and last year, the teacher had a similar signature sheet (it was a reading log), and it caused similar stress in our household. I explained the problem to her and asked for her advice as to what I should do. I explained that DS was a prolific reader (which he is) and that he was doing FAR more than the required reading. She exempted him from the reading log entirely and adjusted the way he participated in her motivational efforts (which involved a treasure chest of little toys.) This year the problem wasn't the parent signature but rather that DS started limiting/changing his reading choices based on not wanting to have to do too much work to fill in the reading log. I explained the situation, and he was again exempted from the Log. I hope next year's teacher is as understanding. I would encourage you to speak with the teacher, though. And if she's rigid about it, just sign the whole thing at once like others have suggested. It's not worth the stress for you or your son, especially when the issue is the signature and has absolutely nothing to do with his learning or work.


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[MSWR0319]

Yes, I'm usually the one who want to work with teachers. But this is beyond ridiculous and way out of proportion to 2nd graders.

Are you the OP with serious issues over the allergy protocol your son teacher tried to go over you? And the same teacher with stupid bathroom rule??

Why is your son STILL in her classroom in March? Definitely bring it up to the teacher.


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Yep! That's me! The school feels she's the best teacher for DS because he's gifted and she's certified to teach gifted. I could care less about the gifted part. I talked to a friend a week ago and she said her daughter had the same anxieties with this teacher. We can pull through the rest of the year at this point, but I will be fighting hard for the teacher I want him to have next year. He needs a softer personality because it stresses him out too much!

[AlbrightRC]

So glad this year there is nothing for the classroom teachers that I have to sign daily. My son started violin and we are supposed to sign his book that he practiced daily but I told his music teacher straight up...look i'm terrible about remembering to sign everynight but i'll make sure he practices. The teacher was fine with it and I don't even bother with the book. I think its obvious if kids are doing homework /Practicing an instrument and parents shouldn't be responsible to sign a stupid book/agenda etc.

[PZMommy]

Yep! That's me! The school feels she's the best teacher for DS because he's gifted and she's certified to teach gifted. I could care less about the gifted part. I talked to a friend a week ago and she said her daughter had the same anxieties with this teacher. We can pull through the rest of the year at this point, but I will be fighting hard for the teacher I want him to have next year. He needs a softer personality because it stresses him out too much!

They have to cluster gifted students together, unless there are more students to make full classes of gifted students, so often times teacher choices are limited due to the rules about which teachers can teach the gifted classes. (I've been trying for years to get to take the required classes to teach gifted. Still on the wait list!!) However you can fill out a form saying you do not want your child to be clustered in with the gifted students, and then you would have more options for teacher choices.

[KrisM]

DS2 is 8 and in 3rd grade. he has a reading log that I'm supposed to sign daily. I set an alarm on my phone that goes off about 10 min before we leave in the morning. He hears it and remembers to bring me the log and a pen and I sign. We make up the number of minutes because he never remembers to time himself. He reads way more than the 20 min a day that is required and reads at a higher than grade level, so I am not at all worried. So I explained to him that we will just guess and I'll initial and it's good.

[ncat]

I hate to have parent homework, especially if it is frequent. I have been close to asking the kids to go ahead and sign their own.

[ahisma]

I am fairly certain that DS also has anxiety and she is pushing him over the edge. He is afraid of breathing wrong and getting his clip moved and I think that's why he acts out at home. He holds it in all day and then needs to let his emotions out at home. I can't wait until this year is over.

That is exactly what happened here. DS worried about everything. He catastrophized and worried about getting in trouble for things that were out of his control - like a shoe coming untied. I tried, time and time again, to talk to the teacher, but she insisted that he didn't have anxiety and didn't see the problem since he was very well behaved. Nevermind the fact that the anxiety was diagnosed. We could have gone a 504 route, but for various reasons (mainly knowing that it be a non-issue in future grades and that we could work directly with the teachers) we didn't.

This year he has a teacher who understands and he is doing so much better. He doesn't need accommodations, but he doesn't do well, at all, in a classroom where there are behavior charts, clips, etc. His therapist explained that even seeing other kids get punished was upsetting to him, even if it wasn't upsetting to the kid being punished.

[ahisma]

Yep! That's me! The school feels she's the best teacher for DS because he's gifted and she's certified to teach gifted. I could care less about the gifted part. I talked to a friend a week ago and she said her daughter had the same anxieties with this teacher. We can pull through the rest of the year at this point, but I will be fighting hard for the teacher I want him to have next year. He needs a softer personality because it stresses him out too much!

We finally started telling DS2 that next year would be better, and he just had to make it through this year. We didn't want to undermine the teacher, and did a pretty good job of walking the line, but I do think he found it refreshing to hear that things were not supposed to be this hard.

He came home the first month of second grade (1st was his tough year) over the moon because his teacher didn't yell at anyone that day.

[Dream]

I have a third grader and we have to sign their reading logs. I always tell her its her responsibility to make sure its signed. She has to bring it up to me. They get a negative dojo point if its not signed and only filled.

[MSWR0319]

I have a third grader and we have to sign their reading logs. I always tell her its her responsibility to make sure its signed. She has to bring it up to me. They get a negative dojo point if its not signed and only filled.

He did everything he could. I just got sidetracked. He handed me the log in his folder and asked me to sign it. I must have gotten sidetracked and not signed it immediately. He asked me that night when he put the folder in his bag if it was signed, I said yes. He asked me again in the morning and I said yes. I really thought I had. Yes, he could have checked the sheet but he trusts me not to lie to him, which is why I'm sure he didn't check.

He was a nervous wreck this morning about his homework log. I assured him it was signed and that if he ever got to school and it wasn't signed he had my permission to put my initials on it. That eased his mind. I also emailed his teacher telling her that if she noticed the initials looked different it was because I had given him permission to sign them if I forgot, as it caused way too much anxiety. It'll be interesting to see her response!

[AnnieW625]

I would talk to the teacher. We have to sign a reading log daily though.

I hate clip charts.


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