Are you good cop or bad cop?

[niccig]

Just wondering which role you have in the relationship. I am definitely bad cop. Not just with DC, but with other things. I often ask DH how to word something to soften it, or I'll send DH in if a softer approach is needed. It annoys me sometimes that I'm bad cop, but on the hand I do get things sorted out my way - shades of my mother to have things done the way I want :p.

[pinay]

We trade, depending on what the situation calls for. I think I play bad cop more than DH does, at least when it comes to the kids.

[niccig]

DH can be bad cop too, so it's not like he avoids it. We've noticed I am more successful in some situations.


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[pinkmomagain]

I am the good cop. I am 100% mush and give in to a lot.

[basil]

Always the bad cop. Was thinking about this last night. Told the kids it was time to get ready for bed at 7:30 pm (usual time). Usually I say it like 3 times then have to start threatening we won't have time to watch the usual tv show before bed. Last night just waited. Was almost 9 by the time DH realized it was past bedtime. Sigh.

[trcy]

Usually I'm the bad cop. Sometimes it's DH.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

It varies and I'm ok with that. We read each other well and fall to the role that makes sense in the moment.


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[specialp]

Me with the kids. DH’s big bad cop trigger with them is only if he hears them speak disrespectful to me. He’s pretty much putty in their hands the rest of the time, but I think that'll change as they get older.

With others, I am probably more blunt, but we’re equally good at being diplomatic when needed and firm when needed so its more a matter of whose domain it is.

[DualvansMommy]

It varies and I'm ok with that. We read each other well and fall to the role that makes sense in the moment.


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That's us too. I'm around the kids lot more when they were much younger, DH just backs me up. Nowadays he's home around much more and takes on whatever needs to be called on. His biggest thing is respect towards mom and politeness.


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[Ms B]

Bad cop. Always, both in my professional and personal lives. Someone has to be the adult on a consistent basis, although it becomes frustrating at some point that I have to be the one to tell my mostly male co-workers to strap on their b*lls and deal with things.

[petesgirl]

It depends on the issue, DH and I both have our pet peeves that we are sticklers on. For example, I don't mind if toys hang out on the living room floor for 2-3 days because DS will usually continue his play from one day to the next but DH tries to get him to pick up toys constantly throughout the day (probably a better method, I admit). But I'm a stickler about DS always putting his dirty socks /clothing in his laundry hamper right away after taking them off. DH would be fine with piles of dirty clothes all over the floor until laundry day. Hopefully we even each other out :)

[Corie]

I am the good cop. I am 100% mush and give in to a lot.


You are my husband!

[lalasmama]

With the kids, I'm usually bad cop. Varies otherwise.

However, if DH feels I was slighted at all, holy cow, bad cop is the nicest way to call what happens.

[gatorsmom]

Dh is putty. If I had a dollar for every time he said, "honey, the kids aren't listening to me. Can you get them to ..." I could buy an island. Apparently I know the right buttons to threaten and the kids know I'll push them if they don't obey. However, my kids and their friends say I'm funny and DH is too serious so I think that makes me the good cop sometimes? The kids always come to me first with a problem.

[bisous]

I'm usually good cop. In that both of us are strict but DH is sometimes not very fair. It is hard because I truly believe that sometimes DH is egregiously unfair and even bordering on unkind (which is different than strict) and I have this internal battle whether or not it is better for the kids if I intervene or not. I really do try to both support him AND temper his language and rules a little bit. I feel like I'm not doing a great job at it, actually at all. I honestly pretty much put the kids first in those types of situations even though I really do believe that having the two of us have a unified front is a really good thing for the kids. It is a struggle.

[Philly Mom]

Dh is putty. If I had a dollar for every time he said, "honey, the kids aren't listening to me. Can you get them to ..." I could buy an island. Apparently I know the right buttons to threaten and the kids know I'll push them if they don't obey. However, my kids and their friends say I'm funny and DH is too serious so I think that makes me the good cop sometimes? The kids always come to me first with a problem.

I think we are pretty similar. DH can't discipline the kids. He fails when he tries. Even putting them robbed is a challenge for him. [emoji4] they have fun instead which is fine but not great when I come home at 10 and he's hanging out with our 3 year old.


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[hillview]

I'm bad cop

[marymoo86]

Neither, I'm respectful cop.

[carolinamama]

I'm the good cop but I have a bigger bite than DH, I just do it more calmly and nicer. DH has a bigger bark but not much bite when it's all said and done. He tends to yell more and threaten but I think the kids have figured out that his threats aren't even realistic! Does that still make me the good cop? :)

[TwinFoxes]

I'm the good cop but I have a bigger bite than DH, I just do it more calmly and nicer. DH has a bigger bark but not much bite when it's all said and done. He tends to yell more and threaten but I think the kids have figured out that his threats aren't even realistic! Does that still make me the good cop? :)

OMG, this is exactly us. DH is fly-off-the-handle-then-take-it-back-cop. I'm you've-made-a-bad-decision-here's-your-consequence-I-love-you-cop.