Ideas for memory gifts - loss of a mother

[AmyZ]

I'm looking for ideas for a special gift for a teen girl who has a mom is sick with terminal cancer. The family doesn't have much support, so I don't think anyone will step up and do something meaningful.

One thought - and maybe I saw it here on the boards... a stuffed animal that is created by patchwork of shirts or meaningful clothing?

Or a blanket created with patchwork of clothing?

I'm also thinking about a special necklace - maybe something can be personalized with names or birthstones?

Wondering if anyone knows of anything very special that they would recommend?

Thanks so much.

[123LuckyMom]

I know many, many exercises for grieving after someone has passed, but I don't really have any ideas for before other than spending as much time together as possible and trying to cement some memories. I'm subscribing because I happen to know two girls whose mother has also just received a terminal diagnosis, and I'm hoping there are some good ideas.


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[petesgirl]

Etsy will have some cute jewelry that can be personalized. After my DD died we gave both sets of grandparents a Keychain with a medallion that said 'A piece of my heart has wings'. I'm sure you could find a cute bracelet or necklace with a little saying on it, or even a locket necklace she could wear a small picture of her mother in.
I'll keep thinking...

Some Etsy links:
https://www.etsy.com/listing/262744704/memorial-necklace-loss-of-mother-death?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=death%20of%20a%20mother%20jewelry&ref=sr_gallery_1

https://www.etsy.com/listing/482357944/remembrance-gift-memorial-jewelry-in?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=death%20of%20a%20mother%20jewelry&ref=sr_gallery_3

https://www.etsy.com/listing/233865239/mother-memorial-mom-remembrance-gift-in?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=death%20of%20a%20mother%20jewelry&ref=sr_gallery_8

Depending on how sick the mom is, this could be meaningful-you give it to the mother and she fills it out for her daughter to have after she passes away.
https://www.etsy.com/listing/512999905/to-my-daughter-with-love-a-mothers?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=memory%20journal%20mother&ref=sr_gallery_45

[AmyZ]

Sorry, I was unclear. Gifts are for after she has passed.

[petesgirl]

Etsy will have some cute jewelry that can be personalized. After my DD died we gave both sets of grandparents a Keychain with a medallion that said 'A piece of my heart has wings'. I'm sure you could find a cute bracelet or necklace with a little saying on it, or even a locket necklace she could wear a small picture of her mother in.
I'll keep thinking...
ETA: What about a cute journal and fancy new pen so she can record thoughts/memories?
A gift card to shutter fly so she can make a photo album? Or she could send you photos and you could put the book together.

[TwinFoxes]

I think it's wonderful you're trying to think of something. But, I can't imagine any of this of this would be appreciated. I have lost my mom, not as a teen, and nothing helps. I can't even imagine losing her as a teen. Unless you're extremely close to the family, making a patchwork of the mom's clothing seems obtrusive. Maybe later you can talk to a close family member about what the teen needs.

[squimp]

So sorry for her family. A friend passed and the moms friends made a book of stories for the daughter about her mom. What she was like as a kid, stories from, college, whatever. Stories that the daughter could read to know more about her mom. It was a sudden death, so a little different.

[specialp]

I would reach out to the Mother who has no support and see if there is something special she wants to do but maybe can't and you could lend a helping hand. I'm sure this weighs heavy on her. I lost a parent very young and trinkets/blankets would just be things I'd have to keep, but not very comforting long term and not really about my parent. What I loved, and have since shared with my own children born long after, were the very few pictures of us together. I swear, there can never be enough pictures. Also, a couple of notes grown ups wrote about my parent in funny or character type situations that showed me what he was really like and which, as I grew and aged, became so very important to read.

ETA: I just re-read and realize you are looking for something to give after the mother passes away. I agree with jewelry if you are looking for something to buy. There are Etsy shops that will inscribe a person's handwriting.

[trcy]

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=1358211954201838&id=238808916142153
Just saw this and thought of this thread.


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[lalasmama]

Interesting to see these responses. I lost my mom when I was 27 (10 years, 1 month, 11 days, and 21 hours, but who's counting). I still snuggle the bear made from her nightgown, and a friend is making me a patchwork quilt of her clothes. Her passing quilt (made by hospice volunteers) sits in a china hutch in our entryway. Did the items provide immediate comfort? Of course not. There's no such thing as immediate comfort when your mama dies too young. But they provide comfort now. I can feel the bear, and remember snuggling up to her wearing it. I see the clothes going to the quilt, and remember this or that about each piece.

Someone gave me a smallish (less than a sq ft) box, with 4 plastic picture frames on top. It was the perfect size to keep a few memories in--her obituaries, the program from her memorial service, the "I ❤️ Mom" shirt I wore under my sweater at the service (she used to laugh whenever I wore that shirt around her so it seemed fitting), a few things from her last hospital stay, etc. I can keep it close by (under the corner of my box is where it lived for years, now in a drawer in a china hutch), but it's not so obtrusive that it requires "thought."

About 5 years after she passed, I asked aunties/friends of hers to tell me stories about her, and to tell my DDs stories about her, and to tell my DGSs stories about her. Because we all spent years not talking about her. And, stories are painful. But they are healing.

[Corie]

I have seen necklaces made that have a pendant with the deceased person's fingerprint.
I searched Etsy for Fingerprint jewelry.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/274179478/20-off-fingerprint-necklace-fingerprint?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=fingerprint%20necklace%20sterling% 20silver&ref=sr_gallery_6

https://www.etsy.com/listing/244161925/20-off-sterling-silver-heart-shaped?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=fingerprint%20necklace%20sterling% 20silver&ref=sr_gallery_11

https://www.etsy.com/listing/488340235/sterling-silver-dog-tag-fingerprint-dog?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=fingerprint%20necklace%20sterling% 20silver&ref=sr_gallery_9

I have also seen necklaces where you can do custom handwriting. You could get the teen's
mom to write a special message or something like, "I love you, Mary" and make a pendant from it.
Something like this. Search Etsy using keywords, Custom Handwriting.

https://www.etsy.com/listing/495680292/925-sterling-silver-handwriting?ga_order=most_relevant&ga_search_type=all&ga_view_type=gallery&ga_search_query=custom%20handwriting%20necklace%20 sterling%20silver&ref=sc_gallery_8&plkey=6d0dae42c508b4ed06f753231471b93c64376fcd:495 680292

[AmyZ]

Thank you for all these ideas. Very helpful. The FB video sparked me to google search "comfort memory bear" and I got a lot of good options.

I also love the custom handwriting jewelry.