A week just looking after the cat

[niccig]

I know we spend majority of our time caring for others, I didn't realize how much mental energy is used until I had a week with just the cat. DH took DS to see his parents for Spring Break. It was just me and the cat as a work colleague of DHs pet sat our dog - the dog usually goes with DH to work and the work colleague offered to have our dog while DH was away.

I know I spend time caring for family, doing housework, so that's been a nice break - lots of Netflix binge watching and TJ's meals and time to get things done as no soccer practice. But it's the amount of mental energy I didn't realize I expend. E.g no rushing to be anywhere, I had to drop the taxes off to the accountant after work, which is 30 mins from my work and then over an hour home all in rush hour traffic. I didn't have to get DS from aftercare or be anywhere, so the nightmare traffic wasn't stressful. I haven't had to remember all that's going on for DS, or coordinate for him to be somewhere and figure out with DH how to get it all done. I've stayed back at work and haven't had a "oh **** I'm late" moment when I see how late it is. No homework battles or any tween battles with attitude.

Yes I've missed them, but it has been kinda nice to just have to worry about me and what I'm doing and not everything else. And when I get attitude from my 2 sisters who have no kids, I will remind them of how much easier it is to just have yourself to worry about.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (https://siteowners.tapatalk.com/byo/displayAndDownloadByoApp?rid=87652)

[sadbunny]

Yes, I've especially felt that way when I took a vacation with some friends! I could order and eat and not worry about what the kids would eat! No bedtime fights! I think I need to schedule another vacation sans family again. :) And another plus - my husband was so grateful when I was back.

[StantonHyde]

YES!! It really is all the mental energy that goes into all the planning and coordinating etc. I am the default parent. DH will do things that he can, if asked. But I have to know that it needs to be done. It irks me that when I take my annual week-long backpacking trip, DH has to take the whole week off--because you can't work and take care of kids....bless his heart. (I even offered to get the sitter to fill in when he works late or works an evening shift etc. It's just too much for him mentally to do it all.)

On the flip side--my trip is coming up in 10 days. I loooove that all I have to do is take care of myself for the entire trip. It is a week-long walking meditation. With other good people around and lots of dirt and pain--but it's worth it!!!!

[legaleagle]

"Emotional labor" is a huge stress! I would kill for a weekend all by myself.

[DualvansMommy]

I always have said every mom should get that mental break for an entire weekend or longer every now and then! I see that as bit different to going away on a trip alone or with friends, because you're still out of the house, around people (friends granted-but still people!) etc. to time spend completely alone in your own home for longer than a full day/night.

It's truly a recharging game changer, alas I haven't had that since my pre kids days [emoji12]


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[StantonHyde]

It is my dream to have one weekend--48 solid hours--2 days of waking up in my own bed--ALONE!!!!! ahhhh.

[niccig]

It has been recharging. I've got a very busy April coming up and I'll be mentally rested. It takes so much energy to keep everything running. What makes life stressful is juggling it all.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (https://siteowners.tapatalk.com/byo/displayAndDownloadByoApp?rid=87652)

[Philly Mom]

"Emotional labor" is a huge stress! I would kill for a weekend all by myself.

Yes!! A weekend of alone time would be heavenly. Niccig enjoy it!!


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

[JustMe]

LOL,when I first saw the title of this thread, I thought it meant you had one difficult cat! Glad you enjoyed your week "off"! I can completely understand why that would be so wanted. I also related to the comment you made about your sisters. I have a sister who is single with no kids and that could be another post!

[niccig]

LOL,when I first saw the title of this thread, I thought it meant you had one difficult cat! Glad you enjoyed your week "off"! I can completely understand why that would be so wanted. I also related to the comment you made about your sisters. I have a sister who is single with no kids and that could be another post!

I can add my mother to the list of "doesn't get it" - she forgets what it's like. They all act surprised when I don't have time to do things. This week has shown me how much extra time they have.




Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (https://siteowners.tapatalk.com/byo/displayAndDownloadByoApp?rid=87652)

[american_mama]

For me, there is also the puzzle-piece element of fitting three kids schedules and my own life in. I start a constant running list from about 2:30- 6 pm of "What day is it, what child is doing what, how are they getting home, what pickup times do I need to honor, where am I going around town, and can I fit this all in." I build my family schedules really well, and it's usually all workable, but I do have to do a near daily mental checklist that four pieces are in place, at multiple points in time. If something changes to throw the schedule off, it takes an extra 50% of communicating and running the list.

DH is not very good at weekday pickups at all. He often has or chooses to work, plus since we carpool in the morning but I leave work in the afternoon, he often doesn't have a vehicle. And he has trouble managing his own schedule; he can do ok with a regular, predictable commitment to pickup one kid, but involve a second or third kid, a change in plans, a school vacation, and he cannot keep it straight. And he'll dump a scheduled kid pickup to do a meeting for work at the drop of a hat, always assuming that I will handle it.

[essnce629]

I didn't click on this thread for a long time because I also thought it had to do with cat sitting lol!!!

I would kill for a weekend or week away by myself. I've told DH before that I would love to just "disappear" for two weeks. I don't think he'd be able to handle it all though. The drop offs and pickups, laundry, grocery shopping and meal planning, remembering all the extracurriculars. And I'd love to throw in some doctor's and dentist's appointments in there too! With a SAH wife he's never had the mental stress of anything child or house related and can just focus 100% of his energy on work every day.

I haven't had more than one day alone in over 13 years!

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk

[jgenie]

I would kill for a weekend or week away by myself. I've told DH before that I would love to just "disappear" for two weeks. I don't think he'd be able to handle it all though. The drop offs and pickups, laundry, grocery shopping and meal planning, remembering all the extracurriculars. And I'd love to throw in some doctor's and dentist's appointments in there too! With a SAH wife he's never had the mental stress of anything child or house related and can just focus 100% of his energy on work every day.

I haven't had more than one day alone in over 13 years!

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk

:yeahthat: except it's 9 years for me. I thought I would spend a lot of my time out of the house once DS2 started school but I find that I just love being home alone. I have to convince myself to go shopping and usually only do so if I'm meeting someone. My DC get out for summer break in early June and I'm trying to make the most of the quiet days before then.

Hope you enjoyed your week nicci!