PDA

View Full Version : Should I go? How much money will it take?



bisous
03-27-2017, 12:14 PM
My sister is getting married in a totally private ceremony in a month or two. But she's having two receptions in the summer time and DH and I are invited to attend either. One is in Vancouver. This is the one most of our family will attend. The only problem is that DH can't go due to a commitment at Scout Camp and I have almost nobody in town to watch my kids. My family will be in Vancouver and DH's family will all be traveling. I may be able to make this one work if I get tickets that get as close to the time of the reception as possible. This will not be too expensive to afford. It will cost me just the cost of the flight and possibly an evening stay at a hotel. I haven't ruled attending in Vancouver out, it is just getting more complicated by the day!

The second reception is at a much better time...but it is in Switzerland. Her fiance is Swiss. DH and I have been wanting to take a big trip and we've been setting aside some miles and some money with thoughts that when it was really and truly the right time financially we'd go but we were really trying to make it happen. We're wondering if we should seize this opportunity to go to Europe! I think the fact that it will be a family event makes it more appealing but my mom disagrees. DH is totally in but he's terrible about money and not thinking of that consideration at all. We'd be all set for childcare. All of our family should be around that weekend. Even my parents aren't going because it is too expensive for them (they don't prioritize travel).

Which leads me to my next question. How much do you think it will cost? It would be the cost of two flights to Switzerland (we have 70,000 miles and I don't think that's enough but I haven't checked), plus possibly lodging plus possibly Inter-European travel once we get there. We don't mind being cheap but we don't want to be the pitied poor relations though that make people feel bad, lol. We want to be self-sufficient but we're fine with budget accommodations and eating sandwiches for every meal.

We wouldn't go unless we could pay for it all without going into debt. It makes me want to work really hard to get there! At the same time, I feel some guilt because there are other things that are more practical for us to spend that money on. We are doing really well at paying down our school debt but we could definitely build up our savings and we dream of saving for a down payment on a house but haven't saved one penny towards that. I'm also taking a trip in October to the DC area with DS1 to do a big tour of important American History and government sites. My sister predicts that that will cost us less than $1000 and I have $450 saved. So there is also that!

WWYD?

WWYD?

AnnieW625
03-27-2017, 12:47 PM
I would plan on going to Vancouver and would save Switzerland for another time when you are both able to go without debt. I am sure your sister and her fiancé will understand. If the wedding were in Switzerland then I would go because I wouldn't miss (my sister's) wedding for anything even if i had to put myself in debt to do it (using a 0% interest card for 24 months to pay it off).

I hate to be the buzz kill, but imho paying off school loans is more important than vacation, and I would rather take my kids on a school related trip at this age vs. leaving them at home to go to Europe with DH (but we are the type that take our kids with us everywhere....our last true weekend away was in 2008; but that doesn't bother us)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

bisous
03-27-2017, 01:19 PM
Thanks Annie. I appreciate your perspective. Yes, if it were a wedding I'd feel differently about it! The Vancouver solution is possible, just tricky.

I do like to go on vacations with my DH but not at the expense of vacations with my kids. DS1 and I are heading to DC in October and we're almost there with funds! Just waiting for my tax rebate.

This extra trip, I'm just not sure how to think of it. Part of me thinks that if I don't go now I never will. ANother part wants to save. Still, I'm not sure how much it will ultimately cost us. I'm thinking maybe 2-3 grand? That seems like so much for a vacation, a non-necessary expense and yet so, so little for savings in a place like California. That you understand I'm sure!

SnuggleBuggles
03-27-2017, 01:21 PM
You only live once. Splurge a little. Just be thoughtful with paying it off. Some experiences are just worth it and come before you might be totally ready for them.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

smilequeen
03-27-2017, 01:22 PM
How long would you be in Switzerland? It sounds like only a weekend, which would be a big huge NO on spending the money for that short of a trip. I'd save up for a REAL European vacation. If it's longer, that changes my answer if you really can pay for it.

I'd just go to Vancouver. I'm assuming kids are not invited? And that if you took the kids, your oldest would not be able to babysit at the hotel for the reception time? Vancouver would make a decent weekend trip with a few cool things to do with the kids (like the aquarium and a trip to Victoria...those were our favorites).

mmsmom
03-27-2017, 01:27 PM
70,000 miles will get you one ticket. (They are usually 60,000 miles). I would plan on the ticket you buy being around $1000. Cheap Hotel $100-150/night. If you are in one place an Air BnB may be slightly less. For food I would calculate what you spend here but plan on it being more expensive there. You can look up train cost and also think about things like museum admission, subway/bus fare, etc.

Personally It does not sound enjoyable to me to go on a trip where I would worry about every expense. It's just not the way I like to travel. It doesn't have to be fancy but I don't think traveling all that way to sit in a hotel eating sandwiches is worth it.

♥ms.pacman♥
03-27-2017, 01:38 PM
Personally It does not sound enjoyable to me to go on a trip where I would worry about every expense. It's just not the way I like to travel. It doesn't have to be fancy but I don't think traveling all that way to sit in a hotel eating sandwiches is worth it.

:yeahthat: yes, this, exactly! I love to travel but would not go if I had to worry so much about what I was spending.

I didn't quite get from the OP, are both weddings no-kids weddings? If it were me, i just would go to the one in Vancouver and I would tell DH to say he couldn't go to the Scouting thing..sorry, but IMO a wedding of close family member trumps that sort of thing (I would not let something like that prevent me from going to the wedding of DH' s sister, if he had one). Though if it's a no-kids wedding I can see how that would make it really hard if you had no one to watch all your DC that weekend.

SnuggleBuggles
03-27-2017, 01:43 PM
:yeahthat: yes, this, exactly! I love to travel but would not go if I had to worry so much about what I was spending.

I didn't quite get from the OP, are both weddings no-kids weddings? If it were me, i just would go to the one in Vancouver and I would tell DH to say he couldn't go to the Scouting thing..sorry, but IMO a wedding of close family member trumps that sort of thing (I would not let something like that prevent me from going to the wedding of DH' s sister, if he had one). Though if it's a no-kids wedding I can see how that would make it really hard if you had no one to watch all your DC that weekend.

I skimmed too quickly and missed the eating sandwiches bit. Yeah, if you really can't afford it to that extreme AND it would be a very short trip, go to Vancouver instead. I think your dh can give enough notice to find a Scout replacement. But, since this is a family wedding, could you just go solo? I like the idea of bringing the kids and having ds1 babysit but I imagine if flying to Switzerland was too $$ then flying 5 people to Vancouver would be a concern as well.

HannaAddict
03-27-2017, 01:49 PM
I doubt 70,000 miles will get you one ticket (or barely one) to Europe during the summer. Most air rewards for Europe are long gone. It will thousands to do Switzerland even on a budget. I would do Vancouver and plan out a European vacation in advance. Vancouver BC is a fun city with kids and the US dollar is strong right now. We love Vancouver. Sorry to put a damper on Switzerland this summer. Great place but expensive.
ETA There are good, background checked nanny services in Vancouver too and if had to attend an event for a couple of hours would do that. I know many on this board freak at the thought of "strangers" watching their kids but thought OP had older kids too and statistically kids are safer with a background checked nanny than a friend or family member.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

bisous
03-27-2017, 01:50 PM
Just have a minute. Thank you to all your replies!

So a few things I wanted to mention. First, I don't think I'd be inclined to bring the kids to vancouver as that would great increase the cost of the excursion, although making it a family vacation makes that a lot more appealing.

I DEFINITELY think DH should just bail on the scout thing. He'd only have to go AT MOST one day late. As it is, he's planning on going two days early and that's why there is the problem with the date! This is a point of contention between us. He's in charge and planned this six months ago and he feels responsible. I don't think he'd feel the same if it was his sister!

Although we'd do Europe on a budget, and might eat only sandwiches, we'd plan it in such a way to get the absolute most out of it. We'd want to see things and experience museums, gardens, etc. I'm definitely thinking that it would be worthwhile to extend the trip to a week but I'm not sure how much we could afford. We do great, really affordable (but cheap) vacations in the US. I'm not sure how plausible that is in Europe because it is my understanding that lodging can be really expensive.

SnuggleBuggles
03-27-2017, 01:57 PM
Poke around AirBnB and just see rates. You never know. We got a great apartment in Montreal for so much less than a hotel. Now, you do need to make sure it's legal there as it wasn't in Montreal unless X protocols were adhered to by the owner.

hillview
03-27-2017, 01:59 PM
I would figure out a way to go to vancouver. I'd expect it would cost about 3k to go to Switzerland with DH which from what you explained would be a lot of $$ for such a trip ($2k for the flights and 1k for hotel, food etc -- it could run more I just think 3k is a minimum and that is for a long weekend not a longer stay). I think paying off debt and saving for a home are pretty important. I'd also figure out a budget for travel (scouts, vancouver, DC and other trips you've done or plan to do) and see if that is a good $ for that sort of thing. Travel can sneak up on me as a major expense when I add it all up. Setting an annual budget could help you meet your goals and not exceed your planned cashflow.

klwa
03-27-2017, 02:05 PM
I would try for Vancouver. If DH & I were to take a big splashy trip, I would want to be able to focus on what we want and where we want, not trying to shoehorn a vacation into someone else's wedding/reception. Especially if we were to need to take on debt in order to do it. I'd hold off on the big trip until you can swing it with less worry. Or at least be the ones picking the destination, etc.

bisous
03-27-2017, 02:13 PM
I would figure out a way to go to vancouver. I'd expect it would cost about 3k to go to Switzerland with DH which from what you explained would be a lot of $$ for such a trip ($2k for the flights and 1k for hotel, food etc -- it could run more I just think 3k is a minimum and that is for a long weekend not a longer stay). I think paying off debt and saving for a home are pretty important. I'd also figure out a budget for travel (scouts, vancouver, DC and other trips you've done or plan to do) and see if that is a good $ for that sort of thing. Travel can sneak up on me as a major expense when I add it all up. Setting an annual budget could help you meet your goals and not exceed your planned cashflow.

Thank you for this. It is helpful. I think I need to be clear that this trip would definitely exceed our annual budget! The only way we could afford to go would be for both of us to increase our hours(me)/extra income (DH) at work and also to economize in the monthly budget (on things like allowance, eating out, date night, and possibly trying to reduce the grocery bill!)

I think I'm inclined to skip this time. Like a PP said, if it was my sister's wedding then I'd figure out a way to go. It is related to her wedding but it is just a reception and I can go to the Vancouver one without negatively affecting my finances.

(It still sounds SOOO fun though! I'm mourning a little bit inside!)

Liziz
03-27-2017, 03:30 PM
I'd also do the Vancouver one. Part of the fun of weddings for me is the family aspect, so I'd want to be at the one most of my family is at.

Switzerland is an amazing place to vacation, and I definitely think it's worth saving for a trip there, but it doesn't sound like you can stay nearly long enough to make it worth it to spend that much money on plane tickets. Switzerland is also pretty expensive. I recently traveled there (I live in Europe though so it was different as we drove!), and was surprised at how expensive things were. We did AirBnB and that was reasonable (I think we paid ~$130/night for a 3-bedroom apartment -- although it is kinda the in-between season right now and I think rates are higher in the summer (or winter). Food costs are super high. We mostly brought our own food and cooked at our apartment (and ate sandwiches for lunch, so I'm clearly in the camp that thinks you can have a good vacation while eating sandwiches, lol!) But, we ate one casual lunch out and three meals was over $70! So if you're eating out costs will shoot up fast. Even buying food at the grocery store there was more expensive than I'm used to. Transportation costs also seemed high there. So, plan high for costs.

Anyhow, I think it's well worth it to take a trip to Europe, but it doesn't seem like you're in exactly the right place to do it. I think rather than committing to the trip before you have the money saved (with only plans for how to cover it), I'd be more comfortable waiting to take a trip after the money is already saved -- and you have the time and money to stay long enough to make it worth it (which to me is a minimum of a week or longer).

123LuckyMom
03-27-2017, 04:22 PM
I was struck by your saying something to the effect that you think if you don't seize the opportunity to go now you may never go. I vote for the splurge to Switzerland. Saving and paying down debt are really important, but so is seizing the opportunity to do something extraordinary when you have the chance. You don't know where life will take you. Go have a wonderful adventure. Take lots of photos. Enjoy meeting your brother-in-law's family. Then come home and get right back down to the business of saving again. I'm a conservative spender, but I do believe that experiences are worth the money. If you can afford it, take the vacation to a place you've never been and may not be likely to go again. I don't think you'll regret it.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

bnme
03-27-2017, 04:34 PM
Whether or not you can afford it/should splurge or if your DH should skip his event is really such a personal decision so I can't really comment. I just wanted to add that I don't think you should not go to Europe just because you'd have to eat sandwichs, or be frugal in general. With that attitude, you may never get to Europe. You may never be able to afford or choose to go on a $7k+ vacation. Things like that are not in everyone's realm of possibility.

Percycat
03-27-2017, 04:37 PM
Are you close to your sister? Do you see yourself doing things with her as a family in the future? Does your sister have a preference as to which event you attend?

Unless your sister really wants you to go to Switzerland, I think I would go to the reception in Vancouver because it would be a great opportunity to spend time with the rest of your family. The reception in Switzerland would be a neat event to attend because it would allow you to experience local hospitality. But, if you see yourself doing things with your sister's family in the future, perhaps you can visit Switzerland with her when she visits her family. Then, you may get to spend time with her in-laws but have more flexibility in the visit because the schedule will not be centered around the reception.

ged
03-27-2017, 04:52 PM
I echo a lot of the sentiment here, and just want to highlight the fact that Switzerland is only one country in Europe. And one of the most $$ ones. If Switzerland has been the main country you've always wanted to visit, then I think I would go for it. But, if you just want to go to "Europe," then I suspect there may be other countries higher on your list, and you should probably wait/plan/save a bit more before heading over the pond.

StantonHyde
03-27-2017, 05:14 PM
Regardless of the cost, most (all?) of your family will be in Vancouver. I am sure your mom wants family pix at the reception, etc. I *think* it would mean more to your family to have you at the Vancouver reception.

As for Europe--you can absolutely do it very cheap. Pick up a Lonely Planet guidebook, stay in a pension or stay outside the city, etc. But it sounds like even that would be a stretch right now. As for feeling like you will never go?? Keep saving--especially those miles. You can take some great vacations by having the flight paid for! And your kids will leave home eventually--you can do more traveling then and the money situation *should* be better.

Bottom line. I would wait. But I would be building my dream trip in my head!

California
03-27-2017, 05:36 PM
Am I reading this right that this may be a once in a lifetime trip and you'd be able to go for one week max? With airfare being so expensive, I'd save up and plan for a time when you can go for two weeks, minimum, and build in some safety time in case one of you struggles with jet lag or gets sick.

schrocat
03-27-2017, 05:50 PM
Vancouver's amazing in the summer. I've been to Switzerland a couple of times. It's probably a personal thing but Vancouver's more fun.

Is it possible to do a road trip to Vancouver rather than fly? You live on the West Coast afterall. You husband should definitely not go early for the scout camp like he planned on doing.

rin
03-27-2017, 06:31 PM
Just have a minute. Thank you to all your replies!

So a few things I wanted to mention. First, I don't think I'd be inclined to bring the kids to vancouver as that would great increase the cost of the excursion, although making it a family vacation makes that a lot more appealing.

I DEFINITELY think DH should just bail on the scout thing. He'd only have to go AT MOST one day late. As it is, he's planning on going two days early and that's why there is the problem with the date! This is a point of contention between us. He's in charge and planned this six months ago and he feels responsible. I don't think he'd feel the same if it was his sister!

Although we'd do Europe on a budget, and might eat only sandwiches, we'd plan it in such a way to get the absolute most out of it. We'd want to see things and experience museums, gardens, etc. I'm definitely thinking that it would be worthwhile to extend the trip to a week but I'm not sure how much we could afford. We do great, really affordable (but cheap) vacations in the US. I'm not sure how plausible that is in Europe because it is my understanding that lodging can be really expensive.

It's totally doable; lodging can be pricey but Switzerland has airbnb just like the US, there are also hostels which can be a great deal. You want to research to make sure you get one of the more family-oriented hostels rather than the backpacker-oriented ones (which will be full of teens & 20-somethings getting drunk), but last time I was in that area you could usually get a private room in a nice family hostel for $60 or so/night. If you can't get a good sense from their website you can always email them to ask, pretty much everyone in the hospitality industry there will speak excellent English.

Which part of Switzerland? I lived there years ago, it's a beautiful country. For me it would probably come down to cost, I'd honestly do a bit more scoping out how much it would come to. Switzerland is a pricey country, but you can definitely find affordable things to do there.

The plane ticket over there will definitely be the biggest cost, as a PP said, minimum $1k/ticket for a major airline roundtrip in/out of your target city. You may be able to save a few hundred per ticket if you look for the cheapest round-trip in/out of Europe (i.e. using Google Flights) and then book an Easy Jet or Ryan Air (both budget European airlines, usually around $40/ticket) from that city to/from your final destination. The only caveat with using these airlines is that they usually fly out of different airports from those used by the major airlines, so you'd be needing to transfer by bus/train/taxi/etc from the first airport to the second.

rlu
03-27-2017, 06:47 PM
I DEFINITELY think DH should just bail on the scout thing. He'd only have to go AT MOST one day late. As it is, he's planning on going two days early and that's why there is the problem with the date! This is a point of contention between us. He's in charge and planned this six months ago and he feels responsible. I don't think he'd feel the same if it was his sister!

If this is their District level summer camp - it's a big deal. If it's just a weekend camping trip - different issue. DH has volunteered at several district camps locally, it takes commitment of time and effort beforehand as well as the weeklong daily involvement and he wasn't even the guy in charge.

KpbS
03-27-2017, 09:57 PM
Is it possible to do a road trip to Vancouver rather than fly? You live on the West Coast afterall. You husband should definitely not go early for the scout camp like he planned on doing.

This is what I was wondering also. Is driving possible? Can your DH get a sub for the Scout commitment? I think the family wedding trumps Scout commitment any day. I think it would be very fun to travel with the kids to the wedding in Vancouver.

SnuggleBuggles
03-27-2017, 10:00 PM
This is what I was wondering also. Is driving possible? Can your DH get a sub for the Scout commitment? I think the family wedding trumps Scout commitment any day. I think it would be very fun to travel with the kids to the wedding in Vancouver.

I love that idea! Family weddings really are the best!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

DualvansMommy
03-27-2017, 10:57 PM
I would do Vancouver for several reasons; most of your extended family will go to that one over Swiss destination. If your family weddings are anything like mine, where it often turns into impromptu reunions with lots of members not seeing each other in years. Great time to enjoy and reconnect with all the far flung members and distant cousins, etc.

Secondly, if finances is really an issue as you're saying I would drive as I think it's fairly doable to drive up and make a long weekend out of it. Family weddings trump scout camping trip for sure!!! If kids CAN tag along, renting an apartment on airbnb is more doable than trying to scramble money for expensive airfare thousand of miles away.

Lastly these really honestly more fun things to do in Vancouver than in Switzerland. It's a beautiful country, been there and loved it as a young adult. Perfect place for fun skiing or people watching in their small cute cafes. Not so much to do with kids in tow though.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk

o_mom
03-28-2017, 06:45 AM
For those saying to drive, it's about a 20hr drive (just driving, not including stops). I would not do that with four kids, some preschool age, for a weekend.

I do agree that I would not do Switzerland.

JBaxter
03-28-2017, 07:55 AM
I do a 1000 mile drive with my youngest 2 at least 2x a year. Can you make the Vancouver trip your family vacation in addition to your sisters reception?

bisous
03-28-2017, 01:37 PM
Just have a minute here but some things I want to clarify:

First, my sister and I are close but we aren't close to any of my parents extended family and they won't be there. We all live pretty close together except my sister in DC who comes here for all major holidays and my sister in TX who might not be able to be in Vancouver either.

Second, my sister who is getting married does not like kids. She's perfectly kind to mine but I don't think she'd really want kids at her reception. So that's something I need to think about if I go there.

Third, I don't think I'd mind driving to Vancouver if I had the time and if I had DH with me. I don't think we could do the drive straight, we'd need to break it up a little bit and I'm a little nervous about doing that alone. Plus, while DH does have some vacation time that he can use, he'll be using two weeks in a row to attend Scout Camp and then for our already planned family vacation the week immediately after. He probably could get the time but I can see him balking at the idea of taking the whole family. I don't know, it still sounds fun to me.

Fourth, I feel like a brat complaining about not traveling. I've done a lot in my life and I have a vacation almost every year. It isn't Switzerland but it is fun. I do think I need to be practical at some point. Going to Switzerland sounds fun to me because it seems like getting know the people that are close to my future BIL sounds like an experience I'll never be able to replicate. But the bottom line is that I don't NEED to go but I do NEED to start saving. It is hard to say!

I think I might just run the numbers and scenarios. I want to see the cost of a flight to Vancouver and how close I can time it, run the estimate of the gas and lodging if we did it as a family vacation, see if any flights can be obtained for Switzerland with miles, play with Air BnB, talk to my sister about the plans, see if DH can take vacation, etc.

There is still a lot up in the air but I appreciate all the ideas and thoughts.

o_mom
03-28-2017, 01:56 PM
Just have a minute here but some things I want to clarify:

First, my sister and I are close but we aren't close to any of my parents extended family and they won't be there. We all live pretty close together except my sister in DC who comes here for all major holidays and my sister in TX who might not be able to be in Vancouver either.

Second, my sister who is getting married does not like kids. She's perfectly kind to mine but I don't think she'd really want kids at her reception. So that's something I need to think about if I go there.

Third, I don't think I'd mind driving to Vancouver if I had the time and if I had DH with me. I don't think we could do the drive straight, we'd need to break it up a little bit and I'm a little nervous about doing that alone. Plus, while DH does have some vacation time that he can use, he'll be using two weeks in a row to attend Scout Camp and then for our already planned family vacation the week immediately after. He probably could get the time but I can see him balking at the idea of taking the whole family. I don't know, it still sounds fun to me.

Fourth, I feel like a brat complaining about not traveling. I've done a lot in my life and I have a vacation almost every year. It isn't Switzerland but it is fun. I do think I need to be practical at some point. Going to Switzerland sounds fun to me because it seems like getting know the people that are close to my future BIL sounds like an experience I'll never be able to replicate. But the bottom line is that I don't NEED to go but I do NEED to start saving. It is hard to say!

I think I might just run the numbers and scenarios. I want to see the cost of a flight to Vancouver and how close I can time it, run the estimate of the gas and lodging if we did it as a family vacation, see if any flights can be obtained for Switzerland with miles, play with Air BnB, talk to my sister about the plans, see if DH can take vacation, etc.

There is still a lot up in the air but I appreciate all the ideas and thoughts.


Given all of this - I would see if you can make a solo trip to Vancouver. Save Europe for when you have saved enough to make a proper vacation out of it.

Maybe DH can manage going on the day camp starts and arranging one day/night of childcare for the kids?

abh5e8
03-28-2017, 03:15 PM
You said you won't go if you have to go into debt, but with student loans, you ARE in debt. I would pay off debts first before a European vacation.

bisous
03-28-2017, 08:37 PM
You said you won't go if you have to go into debt, but with student loans, you ARE in debt. I would pay off debts first before a European vacation.

Our debts are higher than mortgages in many states...

jgenie
03-29-2017, 05:41 AM
I would do the solo trip to Vancouver if you can swing it. You can't afford the trip to Switzerland even if you try to do it on a budget. If you think you need time away with your DH, you can plan something nearby that will better fit your budget.

bisous
03-29-2017, 11:54 AM
I think I figured out a solution. We will have our federal student loans paid off in about a year and a half. After that, while we'll still owe a lot, our monthly payment will be less than half and I feel like that feels like something we can celebrate. That sounds like a better plan for Europe. If we plan for it and we save aggressively (like we would have for the summer but we'll have longer) then I'll feel much better about it. I'm still sad we'll miss out on the celebration but oh well. I just can't rationalize going.

Of course, I'm still stuck with nobody to watch my kids if I do Vancouver. Sigh.

I just found out that DH's parents will be at a large cabin in SLC the week before and that they invited us to join them but DH declined without even talking to me. I'm wondering if a roadtrip to Utah (12 hours and doable in a day, plus I'm super familiar with the drive as I used to attend school nearby) is possible. We could do a little mini-vacation and then I can fly from SLC to Vancouver and the kids can stay with the grandparents....But then what would I do with DS1 (who needs to leave for Scout Camp). So complicated!

Liziz
03-29-2017, 04:05 PM
I think I figured out a solution. We will have our federal student loans paid off in about a year and a half. After that, while we'll still owe a lot, our monthly payment will be less than half and I feel like that feels like something we can celebrate. That sounds like a better plan for Europe. If we plan for it and we save aggressively (like we would have for the summer but we'll have longer) then I'll feel much better about it. I'm still sad we'll miss out on the celebration but oh well. I just can't rationalize going.

Of course, I'm still stuck with nobody to watch my kids if I do Vancouver. Sigh.

I just found out that DH's parents will be at a large cabin in SLC the week before and that they invited us to join them but DH declined without even talking to me. I'm wondering if a roadtrip to Utah (12 hours and doable in a day, plus I'm super familiar with the drive as I used to attend school nearby) is possible. We could do a little mini-vacation and then I can fly from SLC to Vancouver and the kids can stay with the grandparents....But then what would I do with DS1 (who needs to leave for Scout Camp). So complicated!

I think your plan for the European vacation is a great one! You will have much more time to save and I think you'll enjoy the trip and stress about money a lot more. And this way you get even longer to look forward to the trip! You'll also be able to customize more to the exact parts of Europe you care about the most.

I think your SLC trip idea is a pretty good one! Can't your DS1 just stay with your DH the whole time (like go early with DH if he insists on going early?) for scout camp? I do understand that if this camp is a major big deal and your DH is an organizer it's hard for him to just drop it, even for a family wedding....but it's not fair for you to go through these massive hurdles to accommodate kids going multiple directions by yourself just so you can attend your sister's wedding, either.

ETA: Oh, and for the people saying "no vacations until school loans are paid off" -- I'm normally in the camp of "get rid of debt before big trips" too for sure, but in this case as long as it's done responsibly (i.e. - vacation is being funded from alternate means while you continue to pay down your loan each month as usual) I think you should do it. It sounds like you have massive loan debt, and to pay it off entirely is a LONG way in the future....to me, you also need to find ways to enjoy the present or you get too dragged down and the debt can just take over your life. If we were talking about credit card debt or something that's a different story.

bisous
03-29-2017, 05:03 PM
ETA: Oh, and for the people saying "no vacations until school loans are paid off" -- I'm normally in the camp of "get rid of debt before big trips" too for sure, but in this case as long as it's done responsibly (i.e. - vacation is being funded from alternate means while you continue to pay down your loan each month as usual) I think you should do it. It sounds like you have massive loan debt, and to pay it off entirely is a LONG way in the future....to me, you also need to find ways to enjoy the present or you get too dragged down and the debt can just take over your life. If we were talking about credit card debt or something that's a different story.

Thank you. I feel like this plan could work. And I really love what you said above because that's where we are right now. Our spending right now is a little bit more than how it was when we were in school and REALLY poor and trying to keep costs down. I try to keep a moderate approach and spend a small but sensible amount for fun money. Part of it is that we have kids who will be grown and I want them to have some experiences and some things that won't benefit them at all if we wait. It is hard to be moderate though, so occasionally DH and I both need to just reflect on the effects of our spending and rein it in a little bit. Getting advice here is the best!