trip without the kids....Can I do it?

[megs4413]

Backstory is that, aside from sporadic stays in the hospital, I've never been away from the kids for more than one overnight. My mom takes the kids overnight every friday, so we do have regular experience with being away from each other overnight, but never more than one night in a row. I've never done a trip out of town without them. EVER.

I have a trip planned for early May. just myself and my mom. And now i'm balking. It's giving me such anxiety to think of being away from them for so long and so far away! (5 days, about 700 miles.)

I don't know what I'm looking for here...advice on how to survive the trip? someone to talk me out of going? I know plenty of people are away from their kids at times. I don't know why this is so hard for me. I really could use the vacation, but it won't be very relaxing if I'm just homesick the whole time. Any advice? TIA!

[bisous]

I think different personalities might feel differently about this. For me, it all depends on how well I perceive the care of my kids will be. I know for me if they are with my SILs or my mother that they are in excellent, excellent hands. Then I really can go away and feel good about things. If I wasn't confident about that I'm positive that I personally would not be able to enjoy myself. I tend not to be a worrier but with my kids it is truly something else. Still, I have had great experiences leaving my kids when I trust the care providers.

[mikala]

Backstory is that, aside from sporadic stays in the hospital, I've never been away from the kids for more than one overnight. My mom takes the kids overnight every friday, so we do have regular experience with being away from each other overnight, but never more than one night in a row. I've never done a trip out of town without them. EVER.

I have a trip planned for early May. just myself and my mom. And now i'm balking. It's giving me such anxiety to think of being away from them for so long and so far away! (5 days, about 700 miles.)

I don't know what I'm looking for here...advice on how to survive the trip? someone to talk me out of going? I know plenty of people are away from their kids at times. I don't know why this is so hard for me. I really could use the vacation, but it won't be very relaxing if I'm just homesick the whole time. Any advice? TIA!

Just go, really, just go. They're all plenty old enough to be without mama for a few days and the time away will make you appreciate them more when you return and will help remind them how much you do for them when you're home. Definitely absence makes the heart grow fonder. Based on my own experience you'll probably think of them a lot the first day, less so the next few, then by day 5 be ready to come home.

And on the other end think of how your time with your mom is finite too and this is a great bonding time with her and a chance for you to connect and travel in a way that's impossible with children's demands.

[khalloc]

Go. Trips away from my kids for a week or more are awesome. I first did it when my oldest was 17 months. I always leave my kids with my parents (one time I left them with my in laws). I'd do either. I know they are well taken care of. Usually we are taking a trip to the Caribbean, which is heaven to me. I do miss the kids, but I just love being at the beach with no one but me to take care of.

[essnce629]

Go! I'd kill for a trip with just my mom and I! We've never had that ever in 35 years!

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[khm]

Absolutely GO.

If you kids spend the night away from you every Friday, then this won't be a big deal for them. Yes, its longer, but they will be fine. You will too!!

In 10 years, you'll be so happy to have this memory of time with your mom! That's a big deal!!

[DualvansMommy]

Another one from me to say go! I'm assuming they'll be at home with your DH? If so, that's the best kind of arrangement to set kids up and leave for a solo vacation.

I also want to take advantage of going on a trip with someone close to me, if their time is finite. Just makes it all the more precious and memorable.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

I've gone away many, many times. I have never had separation issues from the kiddos. ;) It's so, so nice not to be responsible for other people for a few days. I imagine by the time you arrive at your destination that your doubts and concerns will fade away!

[mmsmom]

Definitely go! I find I have some anxiety about leaving kids leading up to the trip but once I am actually on the trip that all disappears. They will be fine & you and your Mom deserve the time together.

[ged]

Definitely go! I find I have some anxiety about leaving kids leading up to the trip but once I am actually on the trip that all disappears. They will be fine & you and your Mom deserve the time together.

Exactly. You may even be tempted to cancel the days/hours leading up to it ...but once you're there, you will be SO GLAD FOR IT!!!

[candaceb]

I went away without DS and DH for the first time last month. When I got home, DS said "I think you should go away once a month so I can have a daddy weekend!" He was wearing the same underpants and socks as he was wearing when I left, but everyone was alive and the house was still standing, so it's all good. Go. You will come home a better mom.

[jgenie]

Go! Go! Go! They'll be just fine!

[twowhat?]

Definitely go! I find I have some anxiety about leaving kids leading up to the trip but once I am actually on the trip that all disappears. They will be fine & you and your Mom deserve the time together.

I travel a lot for work, and this is exactly how it feels to me. I'm super anxious until I'm in the car on the way to the airport...then the anxiety goes away. And sometimes I kind of want to delay coming home:)

[gymnbomb]

Go, have fun!! My first trip away from my son was a week long cruise with my Mom (before kids we did a "girls trip" of some sort most years) when he was 2. I cried putting him to bed the night before, and I cried FaceTiming him from the hotel in Florida before getting on the ship, but I had the most amazing and relaxing time and it was just what I needed. It was the act of saying goodbye that was hard for me, rather than the being away once I was gone. He was home with my husband and I knew 100% they would be fine.

[JBaxter]

But their Dad will be there correct? Go.

[doberbrat]

I'm a smidge jealous that you have the opportunity and can go. I've never had my kids away from me overnight so I couldnt do it.

[niccig]

Go!!!!! It's hard to leave the first time, but it is worth it to have a break. And it gets easier the more times they are not with you. DH took DS on a trip last year for a long weekend, first time I've been at home alone and it was very weird, I didn't know what to do. DH and DS were gone all of last week visiting the ILs and I was all "woo hoo" alone time for me - it was a break I much needed. I now think they should go on a trip every year without me.


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[ourbabygirl]

Definitely go! I went on a trip with my parents a few years ago, and felt so guilty (SAHM, so DH had to take days off of work). I cried at the airport saying goodbye to him and the kids, but then miraculously I felt fine once I got inside the airport, and wasn't sad at all the days I was gone! It was a wonderful experience; I definitely think you should do it!

[azzeps]

I went to Hawaii with a girlfriend about 2 weeks ago. It was a quick trip, but I totally can identify with how you're feeling! I was anxious about being gone! I knew they'd be fine, but couldn't help worrying. I was even worried I'd ruin the trip for myself by worrying the whole time.... it was a fleeting thought. Anyway, once I got there, everything was great. It was a much needed break for me and the kids were just fine! Go and enjoy your time with your mom, and don't worry about the kids! You deserve it!

[gatorsmom]

Don't skip the trip with your mom. When my dad was healthy he and I took a trip together and had a fantastic time. But a year later my seemingly healthy dad was diagnosed unexpectedly with cancer. 2 years after our trip, dad was dead. I will always treasure that trip. I had a hard time leaving DH and the kids too but I'm so glad I did.

Clearly trips like these are rare for you which means it's unlikely you will have the chance again anytime soon. This trip is already planned. Take advantage of it. Go and enjoy your time with your mom. You just don't know what the future holds or if you'll ever have this chance again.

[carolinamama]

I'm with everyone else - go! I've done more than a few trips away from my kids though so it's easier for me to say that. The uninterrupted time with your mom is worth SO much! You are her child, and she wants to spend time with you just as you want to be with your kids.

I always feel anxious leaving, but once I'm at the destination, I relax and enjoy. Plus, I think it's good for the kids to see you making something for YOU a priority.

[bigsis]

You might be homesick until you have your first margarita. ;) But you'll be okay--you'll be more than okay and same with the kids. I get anxious about leaving the kids too but it's a wonderful rest time when I do get to get away.

[trcy]

You can do it! DH and I planning a trip without the I kids this fall. My mom will stay with them. Prior, I had only left DD for a weekend with DH. I have not yet spent a night away from DS. So I understand your hesitation.


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[carolinacool]

I'm with everyone else - go! I've done more than a few trips away from my kids though so it's easier for me to say that. The uninterrupted time with your mom is worth SO much! You are her child, and she wants to spend time with you just as you want to be with your kids.

Yes! Go, go, go! My mom and I took a girls' weekend last spring. I realized that it has been years and years since I spent any meaningful with just my mom. My stepdad's usually around, or DH, and for the past 7 years, DS. It was only a couple of nights, but we had the best time. No men rushing us, no kid whining about chicken fingers. We even wore matching night shirts. lol You will not regret it. :)