What age for tying own shoes?

[TwoBees]

At what age should children be able to tie their own shoes? We bought DD1 her first pair of lace-up shoes a few months ago, shortly after her 7th birthday. She's in first grade and I figured it was time for her to learn (IMO it is a life skill). She has had a really hard time learning. Her fine motor control is not fabulous and she gets frustrated easily. That being said, she has managed to tie her shoes a few times. She will need new shoes soon and I'm wondering if we should go back to velcro. FWIW it was my decision to go to tie shoes, not hers and not DH's. Maybe I am pushing the issue? She would be perfectly happy to return to velcro, so it isn't an image or a self esteem issue. Thoughts?

[essnce629]

I remember my babysitter taught me how to tie my shoes when I was 3 years old!

DS2 just learned a few months ago at 7.5 years old. We watched a couple YouTube videos to learn!

DS1 was pretty old too! He had the bungee laces for several years after velcro!

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[newnana]

It was a requirement for kindergarten for our DD. As in, had to be wearing tie shoes and had to be able to tie them. You tube is great and the Nordstrom class is great.

[TwoBees]

It was a requirement for kindergarten for our DD. As in, had to be wearing tie shoes and had to be able to tie them. You tube is great and the Nordstrom class is great.

Nordstrom has a class? I will have to check this out.

We tried YouTube videos, especially since DD1 is a lefty and I am not, so I was having trouble reversing my movements to show her. She still had trouble. Part of it is that she has no desire to learn. She could care less about shoes with shoelaces. Hence why I am wondering if *I'm* the one who needs to back off.

[ang79]

My oldest is a perfectionist and won't learn something new until she has made up her own mind to do it. So, she learned how to tie her shoes the summer before third grade because when we bought sneakers before school started there weren't many options in her size that still had velcro. So we bought tie shoes and she learned while trying the shoes on in Kohls :) DD2 is in second and tries to tie laces, but still needs lots of practice.

[Soccermomm]

I taught K and most kids could tie their shoes by the end of the year. To celebrate they got a paper shoe with a shoelace through the punched holes (try to imagine it looking like a real shoe) to put on a special wall. Their name was written on the shoe. As a teacher, it frees up a lot of time if everyone can tie their own shoes. And the day does come, when it's very hard to find Velcro shoes in the bigger sizes.

[petesgirl]

We haven't even attempted yet with my 5.5 yr old. It might be something we work on over the summer but with the invention of bungee laces I'm not really in a hurry. :)

[legaleagle]

My 3rd grader (8.5) has been doing for about a year but only *really* figured it out in the last few months. We got shoes recently and he got one lace and on Velcro pair. Pervious pairs of lace shoes had gone mostly unworn. My 1st grader (almost 7) has expressed less than zero interest in learning and I feel no need to force the issue (which wouldn't work anyway since he's unbelievably stubborn)

I'm curious why tie shoes would be a kindergarten requirement? DS2, even if motivated would likely have not been able to do it before starting - he did OT for a year for fine motor issues. When I volunteered in the K class I did a fair amount of shoe tying as well.

[KrisM]

DS1 and DS2 both learned at at the start of kindergarten. DD learned just after turning 4 because she wanted Twinkle Toes from Sketchers and I told her I was not buying lace up shoes unless she could tie them. She learned in about two days :).


I think if your DD has fine motor troubles, I'd go back to Velcro, but keep the tie shoes at home and have her continue to practice daily.

[Snow mom]

I believe shoe tying was something they got a prize from the prize box for in first grade (anytime in first grade). Now in second the girls are into fancy ways to braid/tie their sneakers. It takes forever to get them off! DD does still have a pair of Velcro sneakers but she also has several pair of lace up shoes. I believe I have the next size in Velcro as well but I won't be buying her more Velcro shoes.

ETA: at age 7/ 1st grade I wouldn't refuse to buy Velcro. Just make sure she continues to practice with laces. Sometimes I make DD tie my shoes for me :ROTFLMAO:

[jgenie]

DS1 learned during kinder. DS2 7 yo had no interest in learning and I didn't push the issue until last month. I told him we were going to work on the upcoming weekend. We spent 10 minutes practicing and he caught on pretty soon after. He can't tie them tight and we haven't practiced again but we'll work on it as we have time in the next couple of months and he should be ok by start of 2nd grade.

[rachl500]

DC1 learned in kindy I think. We sat next to each other on the sofa each tying one of my sneakers. She learned quickly. I think practicing with my larger shoe was the trick.

I asked when I was in the kids shoe Dept at Nordstrom recently and they said most of the kids can do it by the end of the class! Has anyone done it?

[Green_Tea]

All three of my kids were tying their shoes up the end of kindergarten. My oldest DD came home from school one day (in K) and said, "Ben H. can tie his own shoes so I'm going to figure that out!" And she did. In under an hour!

[newnana]

Here is the Nordy's shoe tying video if your kiddo is willing to give a video one more go:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NKR03xqa21Y

I totally understand if they are not and the Nordy's class is monthly and free. Best of all, if your kiddo is frustrated and you are too, they are pro's at this. Back in the day when we did this there was a waiting list, so call your local one and see if you need to register. One dad's take on it:
http://www.dadtherapy.com/blog/2014/11/18/i-let-nordstrom-teach-my-kids-how-to-tie-their-shoes

As a pp mentioned, other things that help are trying with one of dad's shoes. Preferably something big and heavy and longer laces so there is more forgiveness in the learning process. A heavy shoe on the lap that is less likely to fall or be easily picked up when pulling on the strings and long strings to not pull through too far are all bonuses.

As to the pp that asked why tying shoes was a kindy requirement? I'm guessing trying to increase parental and kiddo anxiety even more before starting a giant milestone like kindergarten. Uh, gee, thanks, I was looking for something else to stress about! There were only 8 kids in class, I don't know what the big deal was, but I could have done without it, especially since DD had no desire to learn.

[lizzywednesday]

I had to know in order to begin kindergarten (1983, parochial school, uniform required "tie shoes.")

We are going to work on DD's skills next week during our spring break. Her feet are large enough now that it will become less easy to find Velcro closure ones in her size. (Plus, the last pair of Velcro closure shoes she had didn't stay closed, which was really frustrating.)

I plan to use this video:

https://youtu.be/l-y49EOvyaY

It's basically tying knots and threading the ends.

[lizzywednesday]

... Now in second the girls are into fancy ways to braid/tie their sneakers. ...

We have come quite a way since the "Eastland knot" ...

I think this might be a kind of dated/geographically limited reference, so more info here: https://youtu.be/u61GluoAuME

[DualvansMommy]

Very timely thread! DS1 wants to learn, but I'm a lefty while DS1 is a righty and it's been hard for me to teach him in reverse!

How does one go about in finding more info on the Nordstrom class? DS1 is such a perfectionist and part of him doesn't want to do it until he has studied everything how to do first.


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[AnnieW625]

DD2 is almost 7 and hasn't mentioned anything. Dd1 was 7 I think. I was 8 before I figured it out. Imho as long as there are Velcro shoes available in my kids size it isn't something I am going to stress over.


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[newnana]

Very timely thread! DS1 wants to learn, but I'm a lefty while DS1 is a righty and it's been hard for me to teach him in reverse!

How does one go about in finding more info on the Nordstrom class? DS1 is such a perfectionist and part of him doesn't want to do it until he has studied everything how to do first.


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I called our store and they told me the dates. Googling "Nordstrom shoe tying class 2017" brought up a bunch of local facebook pages and news articles. Maybe include the town of your Nordies when you search?

[TwoBees]

Very timely thread! DS1 wants to learn, but I'm a lefty while DS1 is a righty and it's been hard for me to teach him in reverse!


How about you teach my DD and I teach your DS! :)

[doberbrat]

I remember when I was in school you had to be able to tie your own shoelaces in K. And all shoes were laceups - no sneakers except in gym. Now, I know several 2nd graders who still cant tie their shoelaces.

[c&j04]

DD2 is almost 7 and hasn't mentioned anything. Dd1 was 7 I think. I was 8 before I figured it out. Imho as long as there are Velcro shoes available in my kids size it isn't something I am going to stress over.


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DS is also nearly 7. We haven't even talked about this in the last 8/9 months. I ordered the elastic laces for his school shoes and can't imagine why I'd stress learning this skill when he's busy with school work, etc. Maybe this summer. But it's definitely not a priority of any kind.

[123LuckyMom]

DS learned when he was in Kindergarten. I may have posted here, because I had tried and tried to teach him the traditional method I learned, and he couldn't get it, but he learned this method in five minutes. Truly, he learned almost instantly. The following is definitely not the video he used to learn, but it is the method.

https://youtu.be/8iag2AIRTtQ


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[american_mama]

I think my kids take a long time to learn, in part because my time teaching them probably fell by the wayside for child #2 and #3. DD1 was still working on it in 3rd grade, as I recall. DD2 I don't recall. DS is in 3rd and not reliable. He knots his shoelaces like 5 times, and then just slips the shoes on and off. I just bought him new sneakers yesterday night and he was wearing them tied today, but I didn't tie them.... maybe having smooth, unknotted shoelaces helped. Or maybe he never untied them from yesterday.

I didnt sweat them learning to tie shoelaces, because I figured the kids would learn eventually, and they did. My DDs are 12 and 15 and I have zero regrets and them zero repercussions about learning to tie shoes late. Learn to swim, learn to use the toilet, learn to clean the bathroom.... these are things I pushed them to learn. But not shoe-tying.

[teresah00]

My older three kids were five when they learned. DD is 4.5 and doesn't know yet. My kids were some of the few that could tie in early K, now in 1st it seems like most kids can.

[klwa]

I learned in kindergarten, as did my two older kids. So 5-6 age range. DD1 learned a little quicker than DS did because she was determined to be able to tie her dance shoes without help.

[MSWR0319]

DS has fine motor skills and he didn't learn until the end of last year, which was 1st grade. He only learned from his OT. I had tried and tried to teach him and he just couldn't do it. One day he decided he was going to ask her if she could help him and he came out of therapy tying his shoes! Now, he didn't get really good at it until just a few months ago. DS2 is almost 5 and just asked me the other day if he could learn, so we worked on it once. He doesn't have it yet but I see him learning much, much sooner.

[maestramommy]

For DD1 it was a Kindergarten request. For the other two it was a 1st grade request.

[smilequeen]

Totally depends on the kid. My oldest figured it out in preschool. My middle really struggled with it. He could do it but never very well until 3rd grade. My youngest has been really stubborn about learning so I gave up for a while, he's in K. I know he can do it but he has a difficult personality. Choosing my battles.

[ged]

My 1st grader is just getting interested in it, but still hasn't mastered it. I have dedicated about 1.5 minutes to her endeavors so far. My oldest probably didn't learn until 3rd? I really don't know.

[carolinacool]

My 7-year-old first grader can't. We've tried at various points the last two summers. I tried to show him videos, etc. Nada. Maybe I'll get my mom to show up when he stays with my parents this summer. She's the one who taught me. I'm pretty sure I learned before kindergarten.

[AlbrightRC]

My son is almost 9 and I still tie his shoes...I have showed him several different methods and hes just not ready..i decided not to die on this hill

[ellies mom]

DS learned when he was in Kindergarten. I may have posted here, because I had tried and tried to teach him the traditional method I learned, and he couldn't get it, but he learned this method in five minutes. Truly, he learned almost instantly. The following is definitely not the video he used to learn, but it is the method.

https://youtu.be/8iag2AIRTtQ


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I don't remember how old DD1 was when she learned and I want to say DD2 was probably 7.

But this year, they had a competition across the entire third grade to see which class could tie their shoes the fastest. They practiced several times in class and tried several different methods. And the end result is that every one in third grade can now tie their shoes. DD2 chose the method in this video. I learned it too and it is surprisingly fast. She doesn't use it very often and my preferred method never comes loose so I'm willing to sacrifice speed.


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[inmypjs]

Just wanted to throw in the discussion that shoe tying is a procedural learning task - meaning it requires practicing a sequence of steps and learning them to automaticity. Kids with dyslexia often struggle with shoetying for this reason, because they struggle with procedural learning in general. Not saying that all kids who learn later have it - but many times it can be a warning sign that parents don't know about and wish they had.