College counselor for 8th grader

[mommy111]

Has anyone used one? Or a coach? My goal would be to get DD to get serious and understand what she needs to do to (ie work to her potential and not flake off, take a sport seriously) to get into a good college but also to be an overall success. She's mega-smart but low self esteem and very laid back and distractible
How do I go about finding one?

[niccig]

No idea, but I'm watching this thread as DS could use this too


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[JBaxter]

I've got on headed into 8th and have 2 out of undergrad. I've never head of one for 8th. Usually that starts in high school. The high school my oldest 2 attended was more laid back than where my 3rd will attend. I'll ask around to see what some of the others are doing.

[magnoliaparadise]

Interesting. In my day, this kind of profession was just beginning and more for general information about what colleges were out there that could be a good fit.
I only have elementary school kids so know nothing about this at all, but it's amazing to me that we all have to deal with this as young as middle school - I totally get why - my DD is also laid back, distractible, very smart, and in my DD's case, not particularly competitive, so this post caught my eye. I am in touch with a mom of an older kid (she is my 'buddy' for an organization) and wow, she tells me about how much all the kids are doing... I thought it was hard to get into a college that I wanted when I was in high school, but it sounds MUCH harder nowadays!

[KrisM]

I was going to look into something like this for fall of 8th grade as well. I'd like to make sure we know what to consider when choosing classes for high school. There isn't a lot of room for electives in 9th grade, but I figure it's good to have a good plan. I was going to start with the counselors at the high school.

[cilantromapuche]

we have one lined up for going into 9th. The only reason I can see 8th needing one is because DS took high school classes already.
A college counselor is much more than picking a college. Ours lines up what they need to do (more community service, etc.), what classes to take (don't worry about chem AP, etc.) and start the discussion of what colleges would be a good fit.

For me the biggest part is to remove us as parents from the narrative and let DS deal with a professional in what can be a stressful situation.

[AnnieW625]

This would've been super expensive when I was in school (grad. in 1995) so I figured a lot out on my own and with my high school counselor. I didn't have issues getting stuff done and I knew I had to work harder than most. I was given a list of A-F courses required for entrance to a UC/CSU school and took them.

I would look at the resources the local high school has and use them.

Also consider the community college option as at least in California if you get over a certain gpa you get automatic entrance into any UC or CSU school. My sister hated high school and went this route. She ended up with close to a 4.00 from community college, cum laude from the CSU school, has a teaching credential, and will receive her master's degree this weekend in social science and globalization with pretty close to near perfect grades. Yes she didn't go to an Ivy League or top 20 university in the nation but she loves what she does (middle school teacher) and she needed something that taught her to work and not someone to teach her to work.

I know this doesn't help you much but good luck and I am sure your daughter will do fine.


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[candaceb]

I started with a college counselor during my junior year of high school, and my parents quickly realized that they should start my sister earlier - during her sophomore year. My sister was less academically oriented than I was, and wasn't doing much in high school. When the college counselor started pointing her towards junior colleges based on her trajectory, she started to get motivated and ended up at a decent state school. I'm sure there are lots of counselors local to you - just start asking around. I know one here in Michigan who is great - PM me if you want her info. At the time I was in high school, there weren't any college counselors in our area so I ended up working with one in the DC area via phone and fax.

[rlu]

OT - but sort of related - when do kids take (if they still do) the ASVAB? The website says high school which is when I took it. For those that didn't take it, it's an aptitude test. DS (rising 8th grader) has been asking us (often) what we think he should do after high school.

http://official-asvab.com/

[robinsmommy]

OT - but sort of related - when do kids take (if they still do) the ASVAB? The website says high school which is when I took it. For those that didn't take it, it's an aptitude test. DS (rising 8th grader) has been asking us (often) what we think he should do after high school.

http://official-asvab.com/

To clarify, the ASVAB is a MILITARY aptitude test. Be prepared for calls from recruiters if you take it - it is basically an information (skills, contact information, etc) collector for the US military.

[TwinFoxes]

To answer your how to find a counselor question, I'd ask her current guidance counselor. Also, if your school or neighborhood has a facebook page, I'd throw it out to them as well. This type of question is asked commonly on our local FB pages. Maybe even google.

I can see why you want to start this in 8th. If you start in 9th it might take a little while to kick in, and she might figure out what she needs to do too late. I have a friend who's son figured out in his junior year of HS what he really wanted to do in college. He didn't get into the program he wanted because his overall HS grades weren't as impressive as others in this highly competitive program. Luckily his test scores are good, so he got into a lower tier program, but it's not the one he really wanted. And yeah, I'm sure he'll be fine, but it would have been much better if he had a nudge in the right direction earlier, and maybe he could have even earned a scholarship. Schools are so competitive now. What we did decades ago doesn't really matter today.

[mommy111]

we have one lined up for going into 9th. The only reason I can see 8th needing one is because DS took high school classes already.
A college counselor is much more than picking a college. Ours lines up what they need to do (more community service, etc.), what classes to take (don't worry about chem AP, etc.) and start the discussion of what colleges would be a good fit.

For me the biggest part is to remove us as parents from the narrative and let DS deal with a professional in what can be a stressful situation.
This! This is it! This is exactly why I need a counselor

[HannaAddict]

People have them but not that early here. They can have one but it might not make a difference to a 13/14 year old. Developmentally they are just not all ready to be serious on their own.


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[squimp]

Our high school has these programs, I would start with the high school your child plans to attend and see if they have a recommendation. Here, once you start high school orientation they start talking about college prep.

The AVID program starts even earlier, not sure if you have that at your school. AVID is geared to prepare kids for after high school, and the program starts in 6th grade. Here it is geared toward kids whose parents didn't go to college but I think it's different from place to place. I can't really recommend it because I have no direct experience but the teachers rave about it.

[sariana]

Our high school has these programs, I would start with the high school your child plans to attend and see if they have a recommendation. Here, once you start high school orientation they start talking about college prep.

The AVID program starts even earlier, not sure if you have that at your school. AVID is geared to prepare kids for after high school, and the program starts in 6th grade. Here it is geared toward kids whose parents didn't go to college but I think it's different from place to place. I can't really recommend it because I have no direct experience but the teachers rave about it.

AVID is a great program, and if it's a certified school, no, it does not vary from place to place. It has very specific guidelines. Some schools use AVID ideas, and may even have classes they call AVID, but they're not actually certified.

One of the criteria for a certified AVID placement is having parents who did not attend college.

That is not to say that one can't research its philosophies, though, and incorporate them.

[squimp]

AVID is a great program, and if it's a certified school, no, it does not vary from place to place. It has very specific guidelines. Some schools use AVID ideas, and may even have classes they call AVID, but they're not actually certified.

One of the criteria for a certified AVID placement is having parents who did not attend college.

That is not to say that one can't research its philosophies, though, and incorporate them.

It sounded like the OP was looking for something that would remove her from the equation a little, that is why I suggested AVID.

[JElaineB]

I work at a university so I'll be our own college counselor. I attended a meeting the other day where the Admissions office shared some info that I took mental notes on. Admissions offices keep track of the interest your kid shows. My takeaway was that it is good for you're kid to show interest in a school, but perhaps not too much interest too early as if they have no real reason to entice you they won't.

[dogmom]

Has anyone used one? Or a coach? My goal would be to get DD to get serious and understand what she needs to do to (ie work to her potential and not flake off, take a sport seriously) to get into a good college but also to be an overall success. She's mega-smart but low self esteem and very laid back and distractible
How do I go about finding one?

I don't know about college coaches for my eight grader, but you just increased my alcohol intake for tonight!

[Globetrotter]

Wow, I thought this was a regional thing, especially to do it so early! Even living here, we didn't do it until Senior year for someone to review the essays, but we ended up firing her after three weeks. Dd is a natural writer, though.
All of our friends hired a counselor and said it was good to get out of the equation. You could do a one time thing in 8th grade to make sure you're on track.

[hellokitty]

Do you mean like a college-prep coach? I have a friend who does this... she starts working with students when they're in 8th grade and has gotten many into ivy league schools.

[mommy111]

Do you mean like a college-prep coach? I have a friend who does this... she starts working with students when they're in 8th grade and has gotten many into ivy league schools.
Pm me your friend's info? I will be so grateful!!

[mommy111]

I don't know about college coaches for my eight grader, but you just increased my alcohol intake for tonight!
No, no, don't! My problem is that my uber responsible DD has suddenly started acting like a toddler (no, really! Today's tantrum was 'you took my fork!!' 'No, DD, your fork is right in front of you, this is mine' 'No, this is my fork' and grabs it and doesn't let go. At dinner. In front of friends. Sigh. She'll do the same with her homework, hide and then try to do the last day or not turn in at all until the teachers email her multiple times to remind her. Then there's the 'I don't like you' 'They don't like me' etc etc. it's like I'm dealing with a 3 year old)

[KrisM]

You can search here: https://www.iecaonline.com/cfm_PublicSearch/pg_PublicSearch.cfm?mode=entry

[AnnieW625]

No, no, don't! My problem is that my uber responsible DD has suddenly started acting like a toddler (no, really! Today's tantrum was 'you took my fork!!' 'No, DD, your fork is right in front of you, this is mine' 'No, this is my fork' and grabs it and doesn't let go. At dinner. In front of friends. Sigh. She'll do the same with her homework, hide and then try to do the last day or not turn in at all until the teachers email her multiple times to remind her. Then there's the 'I don't like you' 'They don't like me' etc etc. it's like I'm dealing with a 3 year old)

Has she been tested for inattentive ADHD or maybe even anxiety? Has she always had control issues?

[mommy111]

You can search here: https://www.iecaonline.com/cfm_PublicSearch/pg_PublicSearch.cfm?mode=entry
Kris, thank you! That was very helpful!!


Has she been tested for inattentive ADHD or maybe even anxiety? Has she always had control issues?
Annie: she has no more ADHD than I have horns, she's just being a teenager and hangs out with a group of girls this year that are too interested in 'girly' stuff

[hellokitty]

Your inbox is full, empty it so I can send the PM. Thanks.

[AnnieW625]

Kris, thank you! That was very helpful!!


Annie: she has no more ADHD than I have horns, she's just being a teenager and hangs out with a group of girls this year that are too interested in 'girly' stuff

Okay, but how does being too interested in girly stuff and having girly friends have to do with her not completing her work, waiting to the last minute, and having tantrums about things like forks? Imho she shouldn't need multiple reminders to remember to turn in homework that should be second nature but I don't have a teenager so I could be completely off base then.

I am sorry I implied what I did.


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[mommy111]

Your inbox is full, empty it so I can send the PM. Thanks.
done, thanks!

[mommy111]

Okay, but how does being too interested in girly stuff and having girly friends have to do with her not completing her work, waiting to the last minute, and having tantrums about things like forks? Imho she shouldn't need multiple reminders to remember to turn in homework that should be second nature but I don't have a teenager so I could be completely off base then.

I am sorry I implied what I did.


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No, don't be sorry, I was posting from my phone so may have sounded short, the suggestion amused me :) I wish it were second nature, but I guess when you're a teenager sometimes reading distracting stuff on the internet, texting friends, spending hours putting on nail polish and mascara and admiring yourself in the mirror, telling little brother he's a buttface and using mom as target practice when you're in a bad mood (ie fighting over fork) takes precedence over turning in homework on time. Brace for impact, you're getting there in another few years :)

[HannaAddict]

Okay, but how does being too interested in girly stuff and having girly friends have to do with her not completing her work, waiting to the last minute, and having tantrums about things like forks? Imho she shouldn't need multiple reminders to remember to turn in homework that should be second nature but I don't have a teenager so I could be completely off base then.

I am sorry I implied what I did.


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Just wait until you have a teenager! :)


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