How did you teach your kids to swim?

[basil]

My kids are 5.5 and just turned 3. We live in the northeast and don't have our own pool or know anyone with a pool, so we pretty much swim only on vacations or in formal classes. Neither of them is anywhere close to swimming independently and my older one is pretty scared. Last year we joined the town pool but they don't allow floats.

We started swim lessons at a health club a few weeks ago. Particularly the younger one has made decent progress, and at least now the older one will allow the teacher to hold him and walk around the pool.

How do you get over the hump of actually swimming though? We have puddle jumpers but both kids refuse to float with the puddle jumper and no one holding them. We can continue lessons but they seem to loose all progress once we stop and I don't know if I want to do year round swimming lessons.

Help??

[lizzywednesday]

Mine has no fear whatsoever, so she thinks she can do things that she actually can't do yet.

Like ... swim without support. She is very dangerous around water as a result.

Anyway, we've put her in semi-private lessons this year that have yet to begin; we expect to get day-passes to a nearby community pool a few times this summer.

I don't believe in allowing children to use floatation devices like swimmies or puddle jumpers in lieu of actual swimming/swim lessons. I believe that they give a child a false sense of ability, confidence, and security which could result in them being like my DD.

I grew up in a lake community; neither of my parents were strong swimmers. We were enrolled in summer swim lessons, but when I failed to advance one level due to a lack of stamina (my mother was unable to take me in the water so I never got practice), she learned that the way to get a child swimming was ... swim team. The summer I was 7, she signed me up for swim team in addition to swim lessons.

You have to GO and SWIM to get your kids up to speed. If they rarely do it, they lose the skills which are still new to them from lessons.

Go to the pool. Hire a mother's helper for your younger DC so you can spend more time in the water with your older DC. And continue the lessons.

It's not going to get any better if you don't.

[SnuggleBuggles]

It just had to click and be at the right time for them. Ds1 was a wall clinger/ shallow water player until he was 5.5. We went to the pool one day with a friend who swam like a fish. Off my fish went after her. He'd had some disastrous, tear filled lessons in the years before that. Now he is one of the top freshman swimmers on the high school swim team.
Ds2 was even later. He would freak out if you took him where he couldn't stand. Lots of lessons for him too. AND we have belonged to a community pool for his whole life/ go almost daily. He's now on the swim team and holding his own.
You can lead a horse to water...
Truly, we've spent lots of money and has ample exposure but neither swam until they were ready.


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[basil]

But I really don't have time to swim with them every day, and that is only possible like 2 months per year here anyway due to the weather.

How can they learn to at least be able to not drown if we don't/won't/can't devote a ton of time to this? I can't be alone in this.

[azzeps]

My kids made the most progress when they were both in private lessons at the local aquatic center. We quit for about a year, because we needed to cut expenses, so I'm sure they've lost skills..... they are signed up for a two week 4 days/week session next week. That's how it's done in the summer. Anyway, the more time in the water, the better. I think when they're little and non-swimmers, they spend a lot of time sitting on the side of the pool during lessons. I read somewhere that 4 is the magic age where they start making actual progress and can learn to swim best, but I think it's not a bad idea to get them started earlier, just to avoid fear of the water issues. Anyway, I think year-round lessons are the way to go if you want to see progress. You really have to commit to the twice a week routine, and then if you can go during the weekend for open swim, all the better. I have a hard time getting my kids to do the stuff they do in lessons, for me, though. They just want to play.

Don't put too much pressure on your older one... he will get over it on his own. Also, goggles help if the issue is water in their eyes. Have fun!

[babyonway]

The way to make it sink it is by repetitive exposure. That said, once a week lessons aren't going to do it. I had a swim coach tell me one time that kids need exposure to formal lessons at a minimum 2 times a week to actually make is click.

3 summers ago (at age 4) I enrolled my DD in daily swim lessons (Monday-Thursday) for 30 minutes a day for 16 weeks. I know that that was excessive and it was exhausting going all.the.time. But by the end of the summer she advanced 4 levels and achieved the highest level. She went from not being able to free style very well to being able to do the butterfly (not well of course but she was doing the stroke).

The improvement I saw that summer was amazing.

In short to make it click they need repeated exposure.

[smilequeen]

It definitely clicks at different times. We have a pool so DS3 is finally clicking at 6. He has been fine with a puddle jumper but refused to try without until the last few weeks. We have had ours take Swim America classes so they know all the strokes. I just put DS3 back in since he will now actually try to learn. Until now it's only been about comfort. Before we had a pool we did a few sessions over the summer and off and on during the off season to keep them swimming.

[basil]

omg I just don't have the time to swim that much! There are violin lessons and school and sports classes and I just cannot imagine adding another thing.

[azzeps]

Yeah, you don't want to be totally over scheduled! I wouldn't worry about it. Perhaps wait until they express an interest?

[nfceagles]

Don't know how to help with you having more time to devote to swimming but wanted to add one thing that I think helps if it's available to you. If you have somewhere with gradual entry (even a lake) or shallow but not toddler pool shallow I think it helps them a lot to get in a play without floaties but with confidence that they can reach. As they play more and more they'll find themselves going a little further out and putting their face in or going under. I think old school pools are tough where the only option is float in water over their head.


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[basil]

I don't need for them to learn to do strokes or anything. Just want to be able to go on vacation and they enjoy the pool instead of sitting on the steps and screaming :(

[abh5e8]

Hours and hours and hours in the pool. 😁 A zero entry pool is best. That way they enjoy the water and build confidence as they build skills. We started going weekly when our first was a baby and added a summer pool membership when she was 6. We have done a few lessons but I believe lots of fun time in the water is the key. Swim team is the best way to build strength and endurance.

ETA: sorry... I posted without reading all the responses. I'm really not sure how to teach them to learn to swim and be comfortable in the water without spending time on it.

For our family, swimming is a priority over other activities, both from a safety and physical exercise point, but I know it's not for everyone, and that's ok too. It sounds like your all do a lot!! I would just try to vacation at places with a zero entry side of the pool so they can relax and enjoy it.

[Simon]

Ds1 was afraid of the water for years (screaming and running away) and formal lessons didn't do much for him. He finally was able to swim decently well (age 8) and I signed him up for the swim team (at 9 years old) and that cemented his swimming skills. He isn't great (fast) but he is strong and safe in the water now.
We wanted to do things differently for Ds2/Ds3 so I bought them aqua jogger belts (https://www.amazon.com/AQUAJOGGER-Aqua-Jogger-Junior/dp/B000TCXRJU) because it supports them in the water but doesn't restrict their arms like the puddle jumpers. The belts made them feel safe, although we were always within arms reach still. We joined a pool and I carted the swim belts to every hotel we visited then we just swam, a lot, whenever we could. Sometimes we went months without swimming and other times it was daily for a few weeks. Ds2/Ds3 grew comfortable in the water and soon were interested in taking of their belts and trying it themselves. Both kids can jump off the side of the pool and swim back to safety, swim underwater, and are willing to try swimming on their own. Its not a pretty stroke, but they aren't drowning. Since they are comfortable and willing, I'm going to get them formal lessons again so add in actual strokes and improve their endurance.

[SnuggleBuggles]

omg I just don't have the time to swim that much! There are violin lessons and school and sports classes and I just cannot imagine adding another thing.

Maybe you need to drop one of those temporarily. I forgot to say before that private lessons were almost always better for my kids (though we found an awesome group teacher too).


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[squimp]

Regular swim lessons are really the only suggestion I would have for you. We are members of a health club with a pool, and DD started lessons there at 6 months, and was swimming fairly well by age 4. I made her take swim lessons until she was in level 9 at our aquatic center (10 is graduating). We would also go swim for fun quite a bit. I would sit in the hot tub and she would swim in the small indoor pool at our health club.

I don't really know where you live in the northeast, but I swam all summer when I lived there. There were tons of lakes and rivers - many towns have a pond where people go swim. We live out west now but still spend a lot of time in the water, so it was important for my kid to learn to swim early. Swimming to me is an important life skill, kids here have swim parties starting in preschool.

I was never a fan of any kind of floaties. But our aquatic center had these backpack floaty things that were good for peace of mind in a super busy pool with an adventurous kiddo. https://www.amazon.com/Water-Gear-Float-4-Color-Split/dp/B0002HRAZ4

[Philly Mom]

I think it is about priorities. To me, being swim competent is one of the most important skills of early childhood so that is the one activity we have made time for. When we have gone on vacation, we have stayed somewhere with a swim instructor. I have had my kids take 30 min privates every other day during those trips. During the year, we do weekly privates. This summer they are at a camp where they swim twice a day. We probably will not pick back up privates in the fall but that is because my almost 6 year old is a good swimmer (has been for a year) and my 3.5 year old is almost pool safe. I figure after swimming so much over the next 8 weeks she will be great. This is my priority. I picked the camp based on how much swimming they do even though it is more expensive than alternatives. Our weather is similar to yours.


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[Kindra178]

Year round swim lessons. Time in the pool (weekends (even go twice on a Saturday), after work). Privates in addition to group lessons. Ds1 was very hesitant to do swim lessons. A combo of private and group lessons helped him. He's super competitive so in the end, group lessons were better for him. I will add that swim lessons are better when they every day versus once or twice a week.

Terrible crutch but do goggles. Kids seem to prefer swimming like that. Wear goggles in the bath tub - have him put his face under water.

And to answer your question - limited pool access makes it much harder for hesitant kids to swim. So make it a thing to hit the pool as regularly as possible. It's not going to happen unless you goto the pool often.

[carolinacool]

It is about repetition, but I TOTALLY understand where you are coming from. When DS was 5, we enrolled him at the Y for three sessions of six-week group lessons. Those didn't really hold his attention, so we switched to a year and a half of weekly private lessons at the Y, taking a few weeks off here and there. He learned a ton. I know people say one a week isn't enough, but we both work full time and have limited time and, frankly, money to add more lessons on top of the soccer and basketball he also plays. It was also tough doing lessons after school at 6 p.m. He was exhausted.

I thought about a summer swim team last year, but those all seemed to be geared toward folks who can get their kids to a 10 a.m. weekday practice, so nope. But he attended Y summer camp last year, and they swim four days a week and that really helped. He got the repetition that he needed. I personally don't care if he learns the butterfly and breast stroke -- I just want him to not die if he falls in the pool. We will add in more formal lessons if we can. This summer, he's back at Y camp, so at least he's in the water everyday.

And I can barely swim, so at this point, he's better than me. lol

[AnnieW625]

I would try an intensive two week program that is often offered at private swim schools. I believe Ms. Pacman did it with one or both of her kids. I can't remember the name of it.

With Dd1 we did a variety of lessons from parent n me at 1 yrs. old to privates at a well known swim school, and later small group lessons in a back yard pool from age 6 to 8. I will say that even though the privates were 1 day a week after that she got enough to be considered water safe, she was 4 and never used floaties. At 5 she took privates twice a week through a local water polo club that were $15 for 30 minutes and I felt like she got more stroke proficient and that continued with the backyard lessons. She did pre competitive swim team when she was 9.

With DD2 she did parent n me at 1, and then did the backyard small group lessons from 2 to 5 yrs. old. She now does weekly privates and is working on more stroke technique.

I will say that DD2 did use puddle jumpers when she was 3 and 4 and the one time she forgot to put them back on after going to the bathroom and walked right into a gradual entry pool without realizing she didn't have the floaties on and she thankfully made a cry as she walked under water and got herself up, but still it was a little nerve wracking because she had never been in that situation and thankfully I was standing right there. I think that DD2 was water safe by 5 and we stopped using the puddle jumpers.

I will say that my nephew who is 7 and my niece who is 4 have never had a single swim lesson. Plus they have an unfenced and uncovered zero entry level pool (my bil said he wouldn't put one up because it would destroy the ambiance of the pool.....they were yuppie DINKS for 5 yrs. before kids and very much appearances type of people still) in their backyard and that is not mine or DH's comfort level but the kids are never ever outside alone, and they do a good job about keeping their doors locked. BIL and wife were in the belief that the more time the kids spend in the pool they will learn to swim on their own. Again a very much YMMV situation and it works for them.


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[jgenie]

We're in the northeast and had the same problem when my kids were little. No pool or access to a pool. We did mommy and me classes starting at 18 months and they were fine. When we moved to swim lessons they weren't happy in the water - DS1 was terrified. Year round private lessons with a great instructor were key for us. They are both fish in the water now but I'm convinced getting them there wouldn't have happened without weekly lessons. They get very little swim time with group lessons.

[basil]

So if you did a year of weekly swim lessons, then you stopped, would they still be able to swim? Not meaning to compete but to go to a resort and have fun in the pool.

We did a parent-and-me type of swim lesson when DS was 2 and I was pregnant with DD. He hated it, then I had DD and I couldn't figure out how to do the lesson with her since my DH worked most weekends. Then we had the summer that we moved which was crazy, then last summer the town pool. It seemed pretty worthless because it was just us walking around in the water with the kids on our hip. And again I couldn't really manage both kids clinging to me when DH was working.

I didn't take constant swim lessons as a kid and I feel like I could swim by the time I was 5 or 6. We have been doing Saturday/Sunday swim lessons for the past 4 weeks but it really eats up the whole weekend. They are exhausted when they come home, eat lunch then take a nap into the late afternoon, and I'm still trying to figure out when to get to Costco.

[carolinacool]

We're in the northeast and had the same problem when my kids were little. No pool or access to a pool. We did mommy and me classes starting at 18 months and they were fine. When we moved to swim lessons they weren't happy in the water - DS1 was terrified. Year round private lessons with a great instructor were key for us. They are both fish in the water now but I'm convinced getting them there wouldn't have happened without weekly lessons. They get very little swim time with group lessons.

I wanted to highlight this. This is especially true in beginner groups. We switched to the private at the Y because during one group lesson, we watched the instructors spend well over five minutes of a 30-minute lesson trying to coax one child into jumping in the pool.


So if you did a year of weekly swim lessons, then you stopped, would they still be able to swim? Not meaning to compete but to go to a resort and have fun in the pool.

Yes. DS took his last lesson this past November. He did not get in the water again until early in May when my parents were at a hotel, so six months. And he was fine. Picked up right where he left off. His stroke would probably make many of the swimmers on the board cringe, he he was hanging in there.

[trcy]

I haven't read the other replies.
I have no idea how to teach swimming, so I went the lessons route. DD did two swimming lesson sessions at the rec center and learned nothing. I then took her to a swim school for lessons and after a few lessons, I was amazed. It was a lot more money, but so worth it. Many people recommended this school and now I recommend it to anyone that asks. I would ask around for lesson recommendations and which ones to avoid.


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[khalloc]

We have a neighborhood pool. I also enroll the kids in swim lessons during summer camp (they are in a lake). I think DD learned mostly from swimming in the neighborhood pool combined with the lake swim lessons. DS sat on the pool stairs for a long time until he could stand on his own in the shallow end. Then he got more comfortable. Neither of them are experts at strokes, etc...but they can tread water and jump in the deep end and swim around without me having to watch them like hawks (I am always a few feet away of course).

[georgiegirl]

My older two took weekly swim lessons at the ymca until they joined swim team. Pretty much year round. DD started at 5, DS1 started at 3. DD joined swim team at 8 and DS1 at 6.5. Ds2 is almost 4 and hasn't had by swim lessons. He's afraid of the water.

[pinkmomagain]

I myself don't swim so it was very important to me that my kids learn how to swim and feel comfortable in the water. I took each to weekly swim lessons for years (year round) -- until they were confident swimmers. It was a priority for our family.

[rlu]

So DS loved playing in water all along so that really helped. However, he hated the salt water pool we tried first (mommy and me toddler-age type lesson) and that set us back a bit. So we started again just playing with him in water (bathtub, kiddie pool in backyard). We joined the Y with an indoor pool so we played year round, at least once a month. We had him in private lessons at first since he refused to take group lessons (screaming and wouldn't let go of the wall type refusal where they refunded our money and kicked us out of class). We just kept playing with him in the water and had him practice with us. NO FLOATS. Of course, we only had one kid to keep track of.

At some point it just clicked (like reading, riding a bike, and all that). He's a fish now working on his swimming merit badge.

eta: after reading all your responses, swimming was the first sport for DS. It is the only constant one. It's simply a high priority for us. My folks put my sis and I into lessons every summer as my mom was a hesitant swimmer and worried she couldn't save us if it came to that. Especially after my sister got knocked down by a wave and pulled into the surf. I think that scared her to death (but she and my dad grabbed my sis before anything bad happened).

[candaceb]

I think if you want your kids to swim, you have to give up some of the other activities for long enough to make the swimming work.
Swimming did not come easily to DS but after 3 summers of private lessons 2-3x a week, he is swimming like a fish. This summer, he is going to be working on endurance and strokes, hoping that he can do swim team next summer.

[AnnieW625]

So if you did a year of weekly swim lessons, then you stopped, would they still be able to swim? Not meaning to compete but to go to a resort and have fun in the pool.

.......

I didn't take constant swim lessons as a kid and I feel like I could swim by the time I was 5 or 6. ........

Not sure how to answer the first part as DD1 didn't start swimming year round until she was 9, but prior to that she could hold her own in a pool and do a great dog paddle beginning freestyle at 5/6 yrs. old and I could leave her at a friend's house and their fenced community pool with her friend's parents (another ymmv situation). The summer she was 9 she hadn't really swam for 2 yrs. (she had a broken arm the year she was 8 and only took a few lessons) so she took a month of privates and then promoted to the non comp. swim team. She hadn't swam weekly in a year now and she can swim well, but that is a now 11 yr. old not a 5 yr. old iykwim.

DD2 is 7 and has been swimming year round for almost 2 yrs. and tbh has not asked to stop; however within a year she is going to most likely outgrow the private program and need to advance to the pre comp program and I don't know if she will want to do that, but if she does stop swimming I don't think she will forget how to swim.

I learned how to swim doing city lessons from the age of 3 (after parent n me) until I was 11 (I stopped when my 8 yr. old brother stopped iirc) and while I am not a great swimmer I never forgot how to swim (I didn't qualify to be a lifeguard after 6 weeks of junior lifegaurding.....which tbh I should've qualified, but that was 25 yrs. ago and I need to stop being bitter about it!). I was proficient by 6 or 7 as well which is when I could swim 25 yds. of freestyle unassisted.


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[specialp]

So if you did a year of weekly swim lessons, then you stopped, would they still be able to swim? Not meaning to compete but to go to a resort and have fun in the pool.

.

Maybe for the older one, probably not for the 3 year old, but it wouldn't take much time back in the water, even on vacation, to get back to comfortable level. If you did that, I would still try to work in a day once a month to go to the indoor pool during the cold months.

We did year round until we had to stop last year due to a schedule conflict with my kids now going to 2 different schools with different end times. After three months of no swim lessons or water play, we went on vacation. I was really surprised at how much ground they lost with just 3 months time off, but they weren't scared or crying. Just little things like one wouldn't jump in from the side for the first hour - something he did weekly many times. The older one would panic after floating for a minute on his back when he was doing the backstroke a few months earlier. However, after that first day they were mostly back on track once they got used to the pool again.

We ended up doing 2 rounds of daily 2 week swim lessons this year in the fall and spring, (eta: spring one was before vacation) and as I suggested above, we're going to try and go to the indoor pool just for fun during the cold months.

[schrocat]

So if you did a year of weekly swim lessons, then you stopped, would they still be able to swim? Not meaning to compete but to go to a resort and have fun in the pool.

.

Yes but only if your child is a little older. My kids do year round swim lessons but I have noticed that the older they are. the easier it is for them to remember how to swim. My 3 year old is taking a break from swim lessons because she developed a fear of swim lessons after the last session. All those months of swim lessons down the drain for us. I have a son who is the same age as your son. It took him about half a year to be able to swim on his own. Right now he's working on freestyle and backstroke but his initial start took a while.

[123LuckyMom]

I hear you. You can't devote all that time to swimming, but like everyone else, I'm going to say that the only thing that will work is lots and lots and lots of time in the water. I see swimming as an important life skill and a safety necessity, so we made it a priority. We started with summer swim lessons when they were tiny just to get them to love the water. We moved to year round lessons at about age 4 to learn to stay afloat. Now that both kids can tread water, swim, and stay afloat, we're back to summer lessons. DD, who's 5, could use year 'round lessons this year, though, because she loses her summer progress without reinforcement, and I'm dreading it. It's the right thing to do, though. I want both kids to be able to enjoy water sports and to be safe in the water. We join an indoor pool center that does swim lessons weekly and has free swim multiple times during the week. I make a big effort to get my kids to at least one additional free swim time each week.


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[Kindra178]

How far off are they on level? Could you get one private teacher for both of them? Or book an hour with the teacher and do alternate 30 minutes for each of them. It may become a test of wills, and you need to establish that there is no out here. Swimming is the most important thing a parent can teach a child.


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[TwinFoxes]

For me it's a safety thing, so I'd drop other activities to make time to go to the pool.

We started out with infant swim at the Y when they were around 12 mos. This was not the typical mommy and me class with singing and playing. We were in the water with them, but it was getting them used to being in the water, even without us holding them. They learned to float. And our instructor said 'every class, they're going under water' and they did. So, my kids never had a fear of getting their faces wet. Then, we did private lessons, which got them where they could pass the pool swim test at age 5 (swim 25 meters, tread water for one minute). They've been on our pool's swim team since, which is where they have really improved.

This happened right after my girls passed their swim test, and really confirmed my decision to keep them in swim lessons even though they could technically swim. I thought "I want them to be able to save themselves". This woman's car fell into the Chesapeake and she swam to safety. It's incredible.

https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/police-identify-maryland-woman-who-survived-car-plunge-off-bay-bridge-friday/2013/07/21/5bcfbbae-f23e-11e2-bdae-0d1f78989e8a_story.html?utm_term=.7b87821e2995

[MommyAllison]

I taught my kids to swim using www.uswim.com as recommended here, I think by o_mom? You do need access to a pool, but it was quick and easy for my kids. DD1 and DS learned the same summer when they were 7 and 5, and I taught DD2 using the baby/toddler lessons right from the beginning. Last summer we switched to the older child techniques, and at 4 she was able to swim across the pool underwater by herself.

After that we switched to small group lessons and they made a ton of quick progress since they were already very comfortable in the water. DD1 and DS have learned proper breathing and almost all of the strokes and are now mostly working on endurance. DD2 is finishing learning crawl stroke with breathing and then will be on to the other strokes as well. We've had great luck with the twice a week swim lessons, class size is 5 kids or fewer. We did try other group swim lessons in the past through parks & rec but they were not nearly as good as their current lessons, so I'd ask around to find the best options.

[MSWR0319]

I think the key is private lessons and a teacher who knows what they are doing. We live in a rural area, so we don't have lessons where you achieve levels like I have heard mentioned on here. DS1 learned how to swim after 2 45 minutes lessons from an 80 year lady who taught me how to swim when I was a kid. He was almost 3. He then didn't progress much the next summer because she told me around the age of 3 they develop a fear of water and it just takes awhile to over come that. By age 5 DS was swimming well. DS2 is 5 and it just really clicked for him this past winter. The lady that taught the kids how to swim never got in the water. She had parents in the water and told them what to do. So I was able to get in the water once or twice a week with DS2 and work with him for 15-30 minutes. After just a few weeks, he was swimming the length of the pool when before that he wasn't able to swim hardly at all. Is there anywhere near you that has a non-competitive summer team? We have one in the next town over. So once my kids are able to swim ok, I put them in that program. They swim every day for 6 weeks and learn strokes and technique. It also helps build their stamina. I know it may sound like a lot, but to me it's a requirement that my kids become strong swimmers. DS1 has grown to love it and is now on the swim team, but that was not something I had really planned to happen.

I think it your child learns how to swim, they will remember how to do it on vacations, etc once they stop. DS2 hadn't swam since last summer but once I got him in the water he picked up where he had left off and improved greatly. I think once they get to a certain point, they will remember how to do it.

[twowhat?]

For us it was a safety thing. So we chose ISR. It's a very intensive water survival training course for 6 months and up - Monday through Thursday for 10 minutes every day for 4-6 weeks depending on how fast your child learns (babies take longer). Our kids took about 5 weeks at age 4. They have to pass a series of tests - the last one involves wearing full winter garb (coat, hat, long pants, shoes) and getting tossed in, and they have to get themselves out (honestly, I'd be toast if I got tossed in with all my winter clothes!) We watched every lesson and it was amazing how much progress was made each day. My kids went in screaming...DD2 in particular screamed at every lesson for a few weeks but still learned...in the end they were swimming and floating and able to self-rescue. They loved their teacher, and they have LOVED swimming ever since, so I see that no harm was done ;)

It's expensive and a time commitment, especially if you can't find an ISR instructor nearby. We had to drive about 20 minutes to get to one, and I had to get special permission from work because it involved leaving early. Every day. For 5 weeks. Totally worth it, particularly for kids who are too anxious to make fast progress with traditional swim lessons (This was the other reason we chose ISR.)

Even though my kids are good swimmers now (even without any formal strokes instruction), I still make them do a swim-float-swim every time they enter the pool - it's our rules. If we go to an unfamiliar pool, they must look and see where each set of steps are, and they have to do a swim-float-swim before I let them play.

[rin]

Both my kids learned to swim through once-a-week 30 minute group swim lessons at the local pool. They've been doing them on and off for about a year and a half.
At this point they're both reasonably independent; DD1 (7) can swim the length of the pool, jump off the diving board, etc. Her strokes are still a bit weak, but I feel totally comfortable with her in the water. DD2 (5) is not as strong of a swimmer, but she can jump off the diving board & swim back to the side on her own. They also usually do an hour of free swim (just open play at the pool, nothing structured whatsoever) once a week, but we never pushed them to take off their puddle jumpers etc during that time, just let them splash and play. There are so many bigger kids who don't wear floaties that without any pressure whatsoever from us they seemed very motivated to get out of floaties and be like the big kids.

I wouldn't worry about how long it takes. I would agree though that they're going to lose the skill if they don't have an opportunity to practice more than once a year. My kids honestly just love going to the pool and playing in the water (and they always sleep very well on swim day :)); is there a pool with a kiddie pool or an area that's just for playing and having fun in the water?

[teresah00]

Three of my kids learned at 4/5, and my youngest is 4.5 and I think she'll be swimming by the end of summer. I think the best thing is getting them in the water as much as possible.

They've all been able to swim after being out of the pool for the winter.

They've all done some type of swim lessons, but I think the biggest help is just practice. My parents are five min from us and have a pool. Two of my sisters were swim instructors and local. This summer my kids (6, 9 and 11) are doing swim team. They've gained a lot of endurance and their strokes have improved so much over the past three weeks.

[carolinamama]

I haven't read through all the responses and I'm sure you've already gotten great advice but I'll throw my experience in there too.

My kids all took private/semi-private swim lessons weekly or twice weekly year-round when younger. They were definitely worth doing but didn't really make them strong in the water. It was the swimming for several hours at a time at our community pool over the course of summers, in the water with DH and me, using what they were learning in lessons. They did not use floats. We also strongly encourage (or force!!) our kids to do the summer swim team when eligible - at least 5 years old and can swim a lap across the pool. We are around water too much between the lake, beach, pool that swimming is a life skill in our family.

In short, I think it is all about time in the water.

[american_mama]

My advice is frequent lessons over a period of years, and/or a round or two of private lessons if needed. My three kids are aged 9, 12 and 15, so I've been through this a lot. My kids took years to develop true swimming ability. edited to add: Since you have limited time to devote, I would go straight to private lessons. But it may still take more than one round.

My kids were average in water - liked it, weren't afraid, but weren't daredevils. We swam often as a family in the summer and on vacation, sometimes indoors during the colder months. Still, my kids took a long time to learn to swim... DD1 was maybe 7 or 8 before she could pass the city swim test (15 yard freestyle, 15 yards backstroke, 45 seconds treading water) , and that was after maybe 4 or 5 sessions of group lessons. DD2, a more athletic and determined child, could pass the test at age 7, maybe 6, and had a similar number of group lessons.

In addition to group lessons, I did 5 semi private lessons for just them to get them over a hump. After they could pass the test, they still took lessons another time or two. Also, after they could swim, they did a summer of swim team just to strengthen their endurance.

DS is currently 9 and cannot pass the city swim test described above. I wasn't sure he could swim more than a yard or two, or jump into deep water and come up for air, until this May. He has also had 3 or 4 sessions group lessons, one round of 5 semi private lessons with a friend and just finished another round of 5 private lessons solo. He made the most progress in the solo private lessons. I am debating having him join a pricey swim team that has a practice only team for kids who cannot quite swim well enough to do a race.

I have found many other families say their kids can swim far sooner than my kids could. Maybe parents lie, or maybe my definition of swimming is different. But I also think my kids just took a long time to get good.

eta: Also, now that I have older kids, I feel sorry for kids who can't swim or are tentative in the water. I just went to the ocean with middle school Girl Scouts, and 4 plunged ahead and the other 3 wanted to join them, sometimes tried to join them, but just weren't comfortable past their chests or hips. The ones at the shore kept looking to join their friends, but simply couldn't. I've also been to pools where one friend won't/can't take the city swim test offered on the hour every hour, and thus cannot swim in the area where the rest of the group of pre-teens or teens wants to swim. Also in Girl Scouts, I have girls who want to do things like kayaking with dolphins, surf lessons, or one even suggested scuba lessons at a specialty lake near us..... and some girls are too nervous doing those fun things because they can't swim or can't swim well.

I think if you put the swimming time in when they are kids, the skill is then there for a lifetime of safety and pleasure.

[mackmama]

You need to find a place that offers daily lessons. It's a PITA, but that's the only way progress is made via lessons. Once or twice a week won't cut it.

We have a pool so didn't do lessons. Since DC was a baby, DC has been in the pool almost every day each summer so DC has been a strong swimmer since age 3.

You could also look for those water survival classes. I'm personally not a fan of them since I think they basically throw a kid into a pool versus slowly acclimating a child to the water - but many people love them.

[twowhat?]

You need to find a place that offers daily lessons. It's a PITA, but that's the only way progress is made via lessons. Once or twice a week won't cut it.

We have a pool so didn't do lessons. Since DC was a baby, DC has been in the pool almost every day each summer so DC has been a strong swimmer since age 3.

You could also look for those water survival classes. I'm personally not a fan of them since I think they basically throw a kid into a pool versus slowly acclimating a child to the water - but many people love them.

They definitely don't throw a kid into the pool!!! Just want to clarify this so no one is scared off. The instructor has a hand on the child almost 100% of the time until he/she is floating independently and even after that the instructor is literally an arm's reach away at all times. The lessons were firm and no-nonsense, and definitely a faster way to acclimate a child to the water. I'm sure there will be cases where a child isn't a good fit for ISR, but FWIW my kids are very high anxiety and ISR lessons didn't negatively affect them in any way.

[hbridge]

It is so difficult to do, but time in the water is the best thing for learning. DC has some motor skill issues, but has been in the pool almost every day all summer since infancy and FINALLY learned to swim at age 5. We did do sporatic lessons. The one-on-one lessons worked the best. But it really is time in the water... I would find a local pool or lake and just go every weekend for a few hours. Definitely keep it fun. It does not need to be an all day, every day thing, just time in the water. This, combined with frequent lessons should help.

Not learning to swim as soon as possible was not an option for our DC, but it took quite a bit longer than I had anticipated. Mostly due to gross motor issues and muscle memory deficiency... However, we boat and fish all summer, so swimming was a must!

[anonomom]

TBH, I think swim lessons are a pain and there are at least some opinions that they are actually a bad idea for children under 4 (slate just had an article on this yesterday). I've sent each of my kids to lessons at one point or another and they were mostly a waste of time. Regardless, I found that I was totally ok taking the kids to swim on my own time, but absolutely despised having to get them to the pool for lessons.

I agree that the best way to get kids to swim is to spend a lot of time in the water with them. Does your health club pool have family swim time? If so, they may benefit greatly, once school is out, from a few evenings a week spent at the pool just having fun (especially if they also have a toddler pool. Yes, you need to be in the water with them (at those ages, you'd want to be, anyway) and it will not be particularly fun for you. You may spend hours holding one on each hip, bouncing and twirling around as they clutch you. But if you can get them to play some games with you, that goes a long way. I used to bring cups, sit in the shallow end/steps/toddler pool and let the kids pour water over my head. We eventually progressed to "tag," again in the toddler pool, and still play tag in the big pool now that they're bigger. In the interest of full disclosure, only DD1 is a very good swimmer, but DD2 (who was very afraid for a long time) and DS (who was never afraid) can stay afloat, paddle and get to the side as needed. Once they "click," they don't really lose those basic competencies, though they may be rusty on the first day of vacation.

[DualvansMommy]

Our kids sprees to be about the same age; mine is 6 and 3.5 years old, like others mentioning swimming is a bigger priority for themselves and family. That was our approach as well, and our boys aren't involved in as many activities as your kids are.

The only way to do is lots and lots of time in the pool and perhaps dropping one activity to make time for the swim lessons. We have a variety of options in our area at northeast; private one to one lessons, group lessons, intensive daily private lessons for 30 mins 5x a day for over span of 2-3 weeks. DS1 took all kinds of options since 6 months old, and I felt strongly enough to do it because we belong to a country club with a pool plus healthclub where the boys have taken majority of their lessons. In addition to that, we hang out fair amount with our cousins whose homes have pools. It was a must for me from the perspective of safety.

I may be confusing you with someone but don't you have a daily nanny? Perhaps she can drive and take your kids to those daily private lessons or the ISR option. DS2 will start his ISR lessons end of July for 4 weeks and I'll resume again after xmas with him. For him he needed that kind of approach more than DS1.




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[MSWR0319]

I have found many other families say their kids can swim far sooner than my kids could. Maybe parents lie, or maybe my definition of swimming is different. But I also think my kids just took a long time to get good.



I don't think all parents lie, I'm sure some do though. I think a lot of it is just the kid and how they take to water. DS2 just turned 5 and can swim 25 yards freestyle and on his back. He can go about half that doing the butterfly but his breaststroke needs a lot of work. DS1 could swim 15 yards about 3 months before his 3rd birthday, but I don't remember how long it took him to progress after that.

OP, I wanted to add to my earlier post that the thing that really got DS2 over the hump was just letting him play in the water. He got acclimated himself and was less afraid, which in turn allowed him to try swimming on his own in the shallow end where he could touch. Once he figured out he could do it, he would swim back and forth practicing. I then got in the water with him and helped him work on his stroke and distance. I did that about 2 times a week for 20-30 minutes and then let him play for awhile to work on it.

[basil]

Op here. Thanks for all the replies.

We do have a nanny but my DS is in school full time through the summer, my DD goes 2 days a week, and our nanny also cares for my brother's 5 month old. So she can't take the kids to the pool by herself, really. And even if she could I don't know if I would trust her with 3 kids by herself!

I don't get home until 5 or 6 pm most nights. I don't usually get a chance to sit down before 9 pm as it is. Not sure how evening would even be an option.

So that leaves weekends. We do one 30 minute violin lesson and now two 30 minute swim lessons but on those 50% of the weekends my DH works, I don't have time for anything else. Not grocery shopping, not Costco, not the playground or the zoo. I don't know. I guess swimming is important. But I cant be the only one who doesn't think this is priority #1?

We can join the town pool again but I just don't know if we could get there enough times to make it worthwhile.

We called about private lessons as someone suggested because they are both about the same level, but the club didn't think that was a good idea and suggested just keeping them in group lessons.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Call more pools. :)
What do your evenings look like? At our pool, it's mostly working parents who come straight from work. The families eat dinner there (brought from home or bought at the pool). It's a nice summer routine.


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[Kindra178]

Does your town pool have a zero depth entry kiddie pool? My nanny (or me) regularly took two 1 year olds and a 3 year old to the pool. I would sit in the zero depth area playing with the babies while the 3 year old explored, standing in shallow water. At your kids ages, that seems reasonable to me.

Can you pack sandwiches and head to the pool at 6? Or my sitter feeds the kids before I get home. My husband used to work around the clock and has never accompanied me in the evenings. My kids love the nighttime pool thing. We are (or used to be) and early bed time family, so they thought of this as super fun. Also, on Saturday, hit the pool the second they wake from nap. 4.30 or 5, no sunscreen needed. Call for take out on the way home and pick up dinner.




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[specialp]

But I cant be the only one who doesn't think this is priority #1?

.

No, you’re not. I have nieces and nephews who either still don’t know how to swim as teenagers or were much older like I was when they learned to swim, although they all like playing in the water. It’s just if you start a thread asking about teaching small children how to swim, the people who answer are probably the ones who do have it as a high priority and are therefore knowledgeable on the subject. If you can’t fit it in, you can’t. Just know that whenever you do, it’s still going to take time and exposure to water to learn and practice. We taught a preteen relative last year and it’s still just as time consuming, but maybe less fear since they can touch bottom in much of the pool (but more attitude the older they get!!) A lot of swimming is counterintuitive -at least to me who again, learned late … like keeping your chin down or floating on your back when you’re tired (who wants to be on their back if they’re scared, tired, want out of the water?).

Even without backyard pools, we have water here everywhere. Every playground, our neighborhood, most neighborhoods, etc. So in my area and my circle, swimming is priority #1 at least for summer. It's not in the area where I grew up.

[khm]

No, you’re not. I have nieces and nephews who either still don’t know how to swim as teenagers or were much older like I was when they learned to swim, although they all like playing in the water. It’s just if you start a thread asking about teaching small children how to swim, the people who answer are probably the ones who do have it as a high priority and are therefore knowledgeable on the subject. If you can’t fit it in, you can’t. Just know that whenever you do, it’s still going to take time and exposure to water to learn and practice. We taught a preteen relative last year and it’s still just as time consuming, but maybe less fear since they can touch bottom in much of the pool (but more attitude the older they get!!) A lot of swimming is counterintuitive -at least to me who again, learned late … like keeping your chin down or floating on your back when you’re tired (who wants to be on their back if they’re scared, tired, want out of the water?).

Even without backyard pools, we have water here everywhere. Every playground, our neighborhood, most neighborhoods, etc. So in my area and my circle, swimming is priority #1 at least for summer. It's not in the area where I grew up.

Yeah, the answer is usually just exposure to water. A LOT of exposure, just hanging out and getting just a bit more adventurous and more competent. Small, small steps. Seeing peers do more than they are doing.

Some kids aren't scared and are just fish, but many are scared. It isn't a fear you can talk them out of, or with occasional exposure when they are small.

FWIW, my kids took a long time. I'm a midwesterner (long winter, short summer) without a pool. We did the lessons, but just didn't have the time or means for constant exposure. But, they got there eventually. Neighbors put a huge priority on it, super skilled private lessons (she writes the text books for certification). Different strokes, different folks. It was limiting when mine were in the 7-9 year range, because I wasn't comfortable with them going to pools without me (daycare, camps, etc.). But, we just passed on those experiences and trudged ahead and now they are fine. They matured and dropped some of the fear. And, even though my son was fearful, he perplexingly had unwarranted confidence. He overcame that too, with experience.

[o_mom]

I have found many other families say their kids can swim far sooner than my kids could. Maybe parents lie, or maybe my definition of swimming is different. But I also think my kids just took a long time to get good.




I think many parents do not have a good idea of what is a good swimmer. I administered swim tests for cub scouts last month. Many parents were flabbergasted that their "strong swimmer" didn't pass the harder test (75 yds of front stroke, 25 of backstroke). Their kids are fine with the beginner test of 50 ft. I think they see their kids swimming across a typical neighborhood pool and think they can swim. However in most pools that means they never have to go more than 25 ft to get to the side.

Sure they look good for 25 ft at a time, but that is not a strong swimmer.

My own did swim team at 5-6 yrs and by the end of the first summer could swim 25+ yds in three different strokes.

[Philly Mom]

Does your town pool have a zero depth entry kiddie pool? My nanny (or me) regularly took two 1 year olds and a 3 year old to the pool. I would sit in the zero depth area playing with the babies while the 3 year old explored, standing in shallow water. At your kids ages, that seems reasonable to me.

Can you pack sandwiches and head to the pool at 6? Or my sitter feeds the kids before I get home. My husband used to work around the clock and has never accompanied me in the evenings. My kids love the nighttime pool thing. We are (or used to be) and early bed time family, so they thought of this as super fun. Also, on Saturday, hit the pool the second they wake from nap. 4.30 or 5, no sunscreen needed. Call for take out on the way home and pick up dinner.




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I did/do all of these things too with our town pool. Dinner at the town pool is so easy. A local pizza place will deliver too. I also took a day off of work to take my older DD (she was 4) to the pool so she could go just with me and we went a couple weekends when the younger was napping, but normally I take my kids to the pool by myself. DH is either traveling, doing errands, working or just avoiding the pool. The zero entry makes it a lot easier. On vacation though, I have never had a zero entry pool. Before my older could swim, she wore a puddle jumper and I held the baby or put a puddle jumper on her too but would hold her.

This is my one priority. At 3.5 and almost 6, we have done no other activities other than swimming lessons on the weekends. We are stopping them now but I would guess both my kids will be able to swim across a long pool by the end of the summer, with the older one able to do crawl.

[schrocat]

I think many parents do not have a good idea of what is a good swimmer. I administered swim tests for cub scouts last month. Many parents were flabbergasted that their "strong swimmer" didn't pass the harder test (75 yds of front stroke, 25 of backstroke). Their kids are fine with the beginner test of 50 ft. I think they see their kids swimming across a typical neighborhood pool and think they can swim. However in most pools that means they never have to go more than 25 ft to get to the side.

Sure they look good for 25 ft at a time, but that is not a strong swimmer.

My own did swim team at 5-6 yrs and by the end of the first summer could swim 25+ yds in three different strokes.

When do they need to do the swim test for cub scouts. My Kindergartner can only swim 25 yards in 2 different strokes.

[anonomom]

If it's not your priority, then it's not your priority and that's ok.

[carolinacool]

If it's not your priority, then it's not your priority and that's ok.

I agree. I really wanted my seven-year-old to learn to swim for safety reasons because I can't really swim. But we're definitely not huge pool people. We have little interest in hitting up the pool every day after work or even every weekend. We don't know anyone who has their own swimming pool, we don't head out to the lake often. I can count on one hand the number of times I've been out on a boat. Water sports just aren't a big part of our lifestyle or social circle.

But if your kids need to learn swimming to stay safe, there really aren't a lot of options. We were fortunate that weekly lessons did what we needed them to do, plus the time that he spends in the water at camp. But if that doesn't work for your kids, you'll need to try to find something that does.

[rlu]

When do they need to do the swim test for cub scouts. My Kindergartner can only swim 25 yards in 2 different strokes.

IIRC, in cubs they test at summer camp so the kids can be categorized into certain areas where they can play in the water (if set up that way). I don't recall DS being tested in cubs until he did overnight summer camp (as opposed to the more common day camp). I would imagine if the pack is doing some type of water activity, they would test beforehand as well.

In Boy Scouts our troop tests annually so the leaders know if the kids can join in the boating, etc., activities. (Boys can retest if they fail by asking the swimming merit badge counselor to watch them - that probably varies by troop). Boy Scout summer camp also tests first day of camp if water activities are available.

[doberbrat]

guess swimming is important. But I cant be the only one who doesn't think this is priority #1?

Of course not. Different families have different priorities etc. But, you need to decide if its a priority for you and then make whatever works. Learning to swim only happens with consistent repetition. You could do ISR daily for 6 weeks, years of yearly week long lessons, privates, open swim time or any combo of those. How long it takes depends on the kid and how much effort is put into it. But it all takes getting into the water a whole bunch of times. and if they stop too soon, then they loose what they've learned to some extent.

dd1 started with weekly swim lessons year round at 9mo until she was 6 or 7. dd2 swam with me in the pool weekly from the time she was 6w until she was 2 then both kids switched to daily swimming all summer long with occasional swimming (1-2x a month) during the remainder of the year. I'd say dd1 is a proficient swimmer. Passes the deep end test fine. dd2 is not quite there yet. She needs more stroke work and needs to learn to tread water. I would have loved to make ISR happen for both but there wasnt an instructor for a 50mi radius with dd1 and we could not afford it with dd2.

[ArizonaGirl]

I am very hard nosed on the swimming piece for us personally because I work at a major Children's hospital in Arizona and I see what happens when kids get in the water and can't swim.

Every other house (nearly) has a pool here and swimming season is from March through September, I don't allow other extra curricular activities until you have passed the level of swim here that requires you to jump in fully clothed and turn in your back and float and kick to the order and of the pool and climb out.

DD is actually upset with me right now (she's almost 5) because she wants to do ballet and I won't let her because she hasn't passed that level (her current level) yet.

We go to group lessons for 30 minutes per week and practice at least another 4 days per week.

[lizzywednesday]

I think many parents do not have a good idea of what is a good swimmer. I administered swim tests for cub scouts last month. Many parents were flabbergasted that their "strong swimmer" didn't pass the harder test (75 yds of front stroke, 25 of backstroke). Their kids are fine with the beginner test of 50 ft. I think they see their kids swimming across a typical neighborhood pool and think they can swim. However in most pools that means they never have to go more than 25 ft to get to the side.

Sure they look good for 25 ft at a time, but that is not a strong swimmer.

My own did swim team at 5-6 yrs and by the end of the first summer could swim 25+ yds in three different strokes.

:yeahthat: Especially the bolded bits.

I was swimming 50 meter lengths by the end of my first summer on swim team; my siblings were all signed up for swim team starting at 6 or 7 (though the 6/under group did 25 meters if they were just starting out) and it made us stronger. But we also continued with lessons, with my brother Ger going on to lifeguarding by the time he was 16. (The year I was eligible, swim practice for my age group was shifted to a morning practice rather than an afternoon practice that conflicted with lifeguard training; I opted to do swim practice. Not the wisest decision in terms of my financial solvency as a teenager, but I chose what I chose and had to live with it.)

[o_mom]

When do they need to do the swim test for cub scouts. My Kindergartner can only swim 25 yards in 2 different strokes.

Here they will test them at day camp the first day. That is for rising second and third graders. Also for Webelos overnight camp, rising fourth and fifth graders. Boy scouts is annually for any water activity.

For Webelos and boy scouts we test ahead of camp so we don't have to waste time at camp on testing. For Cubs, most of it is which section of pool they can be in and if they can be in a canoe without an adult. Boy scouts it affects merit badges at camp and any water activities on campouts.

[bisous]

Here they will test them at day camp the first day. That is for rising second and third graders. Also for Webelos overnight camp, rising fourth and fifth graders. Boy scouts is annually for any water activity.

For Webelos and boy scouts we test ahead of camp so we don't have to waste time at camp on testing. For Cubs, most of it is which section of pool they can be in and if they can be in a canoe without an adult. Boy scouts it affects merit badges at camp and any water activities on campouts.

Here Cub Camp has nothing whatever to do with swimming or water. They once had a slip and slide and have had water buckets in the past. That definitely varies by region!

DS1 has had to have a swimming test for SCOUT camp and it was exactly as you describe for the cubs.

[bisous]

So, I have different ideas about water safety than a lot of people on this board. My opinion is colored by the fact that I've spent most of my life around water, swam competitively in High School, trained as a life guard (though never worked as one, as luck would have it), taught my littlest sister who was an extremely successful High School swimmer AND have kids that have GREATLY struggled to learn to swim.

First, I am terribly and awesomely scared of drowning. I wouldn't let my 13 yo swim alone or with a friend.

Second, I'm very skeptical of teaching very young children to swim and thinking that that is somehow enough to keep them safe. I have spent years in pools with small children and very, very few of them were safe in the pool at age 2 (actually I have never seen any 2yo that was safe) and only a handful at age 5. And these are kids with access to pools, that have taken multiple sessions of lessons. Oh they like the water. They put their face in. Jump off the side and swim to the wall and can kick and move their hands but they're not safe! If the lessons help them to be more comfortable in the water, or maybe even trains them to be better at finding the side I'm sure that's a huge benefit but that's only one extra layer to protect them. Nothing can replace vigilant supervision. I don't think this is a reason NOT to have lessons. I just find this attitude that somehow throwing so much money and time at swimming is necessary. I just don't.

Thing is, some kids will "get it" so fast and some it takes longer. If you keep at it, and find good teachers, they WILL get it. It takes longer than many people think, and as O_mom said, many kids are not as proficient as swimming as they might seem!

I just think that what you are seeking is eventual proficiency at swimming and enjoyment at this juncture. I think lessons can be great for this! I don't think this requires 16 weeks of daily lessons. Maybe some people in some situations need this. If I had a pool I think I'd have trouble sleeping at night (though in some ways it would be so nice) and then I'd probably be even more vigilant. But you don't have a pool. Your swim season is short, your neighbors don't all have pools. You just want to enjoy vacation!

Now to achieve proficiency at swimming I'll share what has worked for me. Full disclosure, DS1 didn't swim proficiently until age 12. DS2 is still not a proficient swimmer. Guess what? DH is not a proficient swimmer! And he had a pool growing up! I think my kids are cats instead of fish. Anywho, here are my suggestions.

I think you should plan on taking an intensive course of swimming before your trip. Swimming day after day in the water as long as possible does provide a chance for kids to really overcome their fear of the water. I think I'd double check to make sure the water is really WARM. I'd try to look for LONG lessons OR spend time before or after lessons in the pool. I swear my kids need more time in the pool than others to make the lessons more effective. Hopefully that will help them enjoy your trip!

ON your trip, spend as much time as you like in the water. I just met a family where their 6 year old really "clicked" with swimming while on vacation (in Thailand--sounds so fun!)

Then I'd plan on trying to spend time on the weekends at the best pool you can find. It won't be as effective as trying to swim multiple times a week but getting a few opportunities to practice in there will really help them keep up on their skills. One thing I did not do with DS1 and DS2 is that while we spent a lot of time in the water, I didn't make them practice their skills. They were completely content to swim in the spa and just splash around. I should have! My current swim teacher recommends that you spend 5 minutes every time you're at the pool to swim across a few times. They can play after that. :) I personally think weekly swim lessons are a complete waste of money. That would never, ever work for my kids. I wouldn't prioritize swimming above other things that your kids like. I'd try to make it fit your kids' schedule. I think that is still being a responsible parent.

If you find a good teacher, have intensive lessons every year, try to get in the water in a fun pool for recreation as often as works for you, your kids will swim. They might not be SAFE for a while, but then my definition of safe is extremely narrow. They'll be able to play with their friends, they'll learn to swim 75 yards freestyle and 25 yards back and pass the Scout test. Just keep at the lessons and the water exposure!

I'd plan on taking an intensive course every year. Plan on watching th

[TwinFoxes]

I guess swimming is important. But I cant be the only one who doesn't think this is priority #1?

We called about private lessons as someone suggested because they are both about the same level, but the club didn't think that was a good idea and suggested just keeping them in group lessons.

Well, of course you're not the only one, but I'd say these days a majority of people do think it's a top priority because drowning is a preventable cause of death, and not just for little kids.

What reason did your pool give? Did you talk to the instructor or just the random person who answered the phone? Because I think it's bizarre that they told you to just do group lessons. What was their reasoning? I just don't see how one on one instruction is worse than a big group of kids where they spend 1/2 the time holding onto the wall while someone else swims. One bonus for you, individual lessons are usually shorter than group lessons because the kids are actually swimming and not waiting around.

[pastrygirl]

So if you did a year of weekly swim lessons, then you stopped, would they still be able to swim? Not meaning to compete but to go to a resort and have fun in the pool. We're in a similar boat. No pool or access to a pool, except for once a year for a week in July.

We did weekly year-round lessons for a few years at the YMCA, but haven't done them for the past 2+ years. My kids learned to float well enough that they are fine in a pool. I'm nearby, but don't need to be in the pool with them. They are now 7 and 11, but I haven't been worried about them in a pool for at least two years. Pretty much as soon as they started lessons and learned to float.

They used Puddle Jumpers since they were two, and didn't have anyone holding them. Those work SO WELL. They used them until they learned to float.

This summer, we joined a pool. My older son lost many of his skills and still can't pass the swim test (swim a lap and tread water for 1 minute). I might sign them up for lessons at the pool, which are daily for two weeks in the late afternoon. I'm going to ask my babysitter if she's comfortable taking them to the pool so that they can still go when I have to work.

[Mikey0709]

Bisous - thank you for your statement above. Just wanted you to know that your not the only one - i feel the exact same way as you! I too have had lifeguard training, yet never worked as one. I have been on the water my whole life, lakes, pools, oceans, etc. We own a boat and kayaks. I have had scuba training. I have dove off high dives and jumped off cliffs.

And we have also had an adult friend, who was a proficient swimmer, drown. Our YMCA has had 2 child drownings.

My kids are 7,9 11. They are all comfortable in and around the water, but if they are in it - I AM IN IT. Or my eyes are on them 100%. They are not proficient swimmers, and they probably would not pass swim tests. I started my kids in the Y group lessons, which i quickly discovered were useless. Maybe it was the 20 year old teacher who managed to turn her back to the students every few minutes? Hate to say I shutter when i see kids under 10 in the pool themselves with moms sitting on the side. Can I mention how many kids I've pulled out of the pool, because I was the only mom in there? It takes a second. It scares the hell out of me when i read that places are looking for lifeguards - starting at age 14.

Quoting your statement above in which i agree 100% - Nothing can replace vigilant supervision. I don't think this is a reason NOT to have lessons. I just find this attitude that somehow throwing so much money and time at swimming is necessary. I just don't.

All kids learn at different rates. I'm not pushing mine. They are comfortable in it, and I don't want them to be scared not to go in it. We LOVE to go in the water, and we have fun doing it........but i hate to say I don't want to ever take away the "fear" of water and what can happen. I guess even with all the experience and training I have had, I don't have the same comfort level around water as alot of other people do.

[squimp]

I was around water all my life, was a triathlete, and taught swimming to children at a camp for kids with severe autism and other developmental disabilities. This is exactly why I wanted to get my DD in the water early, putting her in mom and me lessons when she was a baby. So she was comfortable in the water! I didn't want her to be the kid on the side of the pool crying, the 10-yo not able to jump off the diving board or the adult who could not swim. OP has plenty of time, her kids are young. But it does take time and energy to have kids who are comfortable in the water. Even more time to be good swimmers by any definition.

[Percycat]

I'm not sure what options you have available, but what worked best for us is 1) swim team and 2) semi private lessons. I have two children who are fully competent teen/pre-teen swimmers. When they were infants/toddlers/pre-school aged, they had several sessions of swim lessons at the local ymca. They did learn to swim, however, until they joined swim team. Our local rec team accepts kids "6 and under" who are not afraid of the water and can swim/doggy paddle. When DD joined at 5, she could not swim the length of the pool without grabbing the wall and did not have a real stroke, and could not breath by turning her head to the side. By the end of the summer, she was diving into the pool and swimming the length of the pool. We picked a coach she worked well with and hired him to continue teaching my daughter and son. He tough them more in 6 weeks than they had learned in 6 years of group lessons.

One of the frustrating things about group lessons is you have one teacher who works with 6 kids. The kids spend a lot of time on the wall waiting for their turn to practice the skill. If the lessons have levels, children repeat levels until they pass each skill -- even if they know all of the other skills. With private lessons, you child will work on what they need to work on without having to fit within a curriculum or waiting for other children. Private lessons were expensive, but in the long run saved us a lot of money, time and actually worked.

If your children have the minimum skills to join swim team, that will be hands-down the most cost effective way to turn your kids into good swimmers -- although, it will require daily commitment to attend practices during the swim season.

[spunkybaby]

I agree with PPs that private lessons (or at least semi-private with both of your kids if they are at the same level) will be better for you since you have huge time constraints. Why waste time waiting for the instructor to teach other students while your kids are in the pool (and howling)? Private lessons are more expensive, obviously, but I found them to be a better value overall and definitely a better use of our time! Also, the instructor will hold your children one-on-one and help them feel comfortable in the water, which seems to be one of your main goals!

I wonder if your current swim lesson place just doesn't have availability for private lessons, or maybe someone was trying to save you money?

You might also look to see if you can find a swim teacher that will meet you at your town pool and teach your kids there.

I also agree with PPs to try to look for a pool with zero-entry or at least a really big shallow area. Our community pool has a really big shallow area that helped my DC feel comfortable when they were not yet confident swimmers. It was very comforting to both them and me to know that they could paddle around and then stand/bounce up and down whenever they needed to! Also, don't underestimate the power of peer influence. DC1 had taken many swim lessons but didn't actually start swimming independently until we went to a pool with some friends. DC1 desperately wanted to keep up with the friends and figured out how to pull together all those swim skills that afternoon.

Is there any way to switch the violin lessons so that your nanny can take care of that part? Can the nanny drive your DS to violin lessons during the week after school, or maybe can you find a teacher that will come to your house?

Finally, as other PPs have mentioned, if swimming just doesn't work for your family life right now, then don't sweat it. There are different seasons in life, and maybe next summer, things will be easier. Since you are not around pools that much, maybe just don't worry about it? The DC of some of my friends learned to swim much later than others, and it has been fine.

[Percycat]

My kids also loved night time pool. During the winter, we would go to the indoor pool and bring pjs. kids would take a shower and put on pj's and head home -- sometimes asleep by the time we got home.

Also, the idea of finding a zero entry pool is great. Most of the newer pools in our area -- including the indoor rec centers -- have zero entry pool. You could bring a floating toy -- ball, duck, etc - with you to play with... gradually move the toy a little deeper as you play with your children. Occasionally splash them by "accident" to get them used to water hitting their face. This type of play may make them more comfortable around water and may help lessons be more productive.

[basil]

OP again.

Thanks, bisous, that was very helpful and thoughtful. I also disagree that swim lessons are for safety, because I'm going to be in the water with them anyway. I probably wouldn't be able to pass some of the swim tests people have mentioned, but I am totally comfortable in the water. That's what I want to achieve for my children and if they want to learn correct strokes and swim competitively then they can decide that later on when they are older.

My kids, particularly my DS, are very physically cautious. They are both the most cautious in their respective age groups in lessons. It takes them a lot of encouragement to try new things, it took like a month to get DS to give up his tricycle and try his new bike w training wheels, to give you an idea. After 4 weeks of twice weekly lessons, he will sometimes jump off the side while holding the instructors hands, but won't put his face in. My DD is a little more comfortable.

I called the club but for some reason the instructor called my DH back...something about scheduling and how they have a group lesson with only 1 other kid in it so it would be just 3 of them and a lot cheaper than private, and not offering private lessons during the time block we wanted. The lessons in general are 4:1 but I guess they are not that busy in July.

I don't know. I'm sort of discouraged. Maybe we should just wait another year to really try if they are just going to lose skills anyway.

ETA: nanny can't do violin because it requires me to learn how to teach DS when we practice at home (I don't play violin). We tried that and it was really not productive and didn't translate well.

[squimp]

We did small group lessons and it was great. Gave DD a little break while the other kids were swimming. I think somewhere between 2:1 and 4:1 is a great ratio.

[spunkybaby]

I called the club but for some reason the instructor called my DH back...something about scheduling and how they have a group lesson with only 1 other kid in it so it would be just 3 of them and a lot cheaper than private, and not offering private lessons during the time block we wanted. The lessons in general are 4:1 but I guess they are not that busy in July.

Well, 3:1 is almost the same as 4:1, and of course if another family wants to sign up for that time block, you will be back at 4:1. I think the group scheduling is better for your club's schedule, not necessarily for your kids.

Could you sign up one of your kids for the group lesson (2:1) and then get private lessons for the second child?


ETA: nanny can't do violin because it requires me to learn how to teach DS when we practice at home (I don't play violin). We tried that and it was really not productive and didn't translate well.

That makes sense, but too bad - it would be nice to save some of your time on the weekend!

[Kindra178]

Asking honestly - are kids who know how to swim drowning in a pool? I am curious - how? Absent head injury or physical altercation with another person? My definition of swimming would be a kid could go down the pool's waterslide or off the diving board and swim to the side without distress or difficulty. Clearly, I understand how one can drown in an ocean or large lake (There are so many drownings a year due to riptides in Lake Michigan).

[AnnieW625]

Asking honestly - are kids who know how to swim drowning in a pool? I am curious - how? Absent head injury or physical altercation with another person? My definition of swimming would be a kid could go down the pool's waterslide or off the diving board and swim to the side without distress or difficulty. Clearly, I understand how one can drown in an ocean or large lake (There are so many drownings a year due to riptides in Lake Michigan).

I have wondered the same thing, except substitute Lake Michigan with the Pacific Ocean or the Los Angeles River (when someone gets swept into the current after a rain storm because the waters look way shallower and slower than they look). The only person I personally know who drowned was my great uncle by he was in his early 60s and had a heart attack while swimming in a pool, and drowned. Friends of friends kids have drowned and one died and one survived so it is a sad situation all around, but I totally get what you are saying. Many years ago a local boy tumbled off a boat dock and while the boy was fully clothed he was able to get himself on his back; it turns out the boy had swim safety training from the same school where DD2 goes now.

I think there is a big difference in being water safe than knowing how to swim. I am 39 and treading water for 1 minute seems daunting.

I also agree that this must be regional because I remember hearing an NPR story a few years back that some universities and colleges on the east coast still required a swim test to graduate. I am a California native and had never heard of that.


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[NCGrandma]

I also agree that this must be regional because I remember hearing an NPR story a few years back that some universities and colleges on the east coast still required a swim test to graduate. I am a California native and had never heard of that.


My small college in Ohio did not require a swim test so I was very surprised when I came to graduate school at UNC and heard about it. (Not required for grad school, though!) A friend of mine almost did not graduate and had to get a "mental health exemption" to skip the swim test.



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[khm]

Asking honestly - are kids who know how to swim drowning in a pool? I am curious - how? Absent head injury or physical altercation with another person? My definition of swimming would be a kid could go down the pool's waterslide or off the diving board and swim to the side without distress or difficulty. Clearly, I understand how one can drown in an ocean or large lake (There are so many drownings a year due to riptides in Lake Michigan).

A kid could get tired, have a cramp, swallow water and panic. Really, anything that causes panic could be devastating. Sadly, I know a kid (16) who drown in a area of a lake where the water stepped off sharply. He realized he was in deeper water than he thought and just freaked out. He died, as did a girl in the group who tried to save him. They said she went in because she was the best swimmer in the bunch, but no match against a panicked person. He just took her down with him.

They could also overestimate their abilities. Years of swimming to the side mean they can swim those few feet, but maybe not much else, maybe can't handle anything unusual.

[anonomom]

The Slate article I referenced upthread claims that most drowning victims are strong swimmers, though I'm not sure that's a fair reading of the document that this claim links to.

http://www.slate.com/articles/life/the_kids/2017/06/swim_lessons_won_t_keep_your_toddler_from_drowning .html

And the document it cites:

http://www.worldconferenceondrowningprevention2011.org/SiteMedia/w3svc1092/Uploads/Documents/WCDP2011_Swim&WS_Hindmarch_p222_Abstract.pdf


The central argument of the Slate article is that swim lessons can help a kid become more comfortable in and enjoy water, but they cannot, at young ages, make a child safe in the water. And while "swimming competency" is important, it is just one of the many competencies that kids need to be able to prevent themselves from drowning, and most kids just can't develop such competencies at very young ages.

[carolinacool]

I also agree that this must be regional because I remember hearing an NPR story a few years back that some universities and colleges on the east coast still required a swim test to graduate. I am a California native and had never heard of that.


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My small college in Ohio did not require a swim test so I was very surprised when I came to graduate school at UNC and heard about it. (Not required for grad school, though!) A friend of mine almost did not graduate and had to get a "mental health exemption" to skip the swim test.

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Yes! I graduated from UNC in 1997 and had to pass that blasted thing. You had to jump in the deep end, come up and swim a lap down and back using whatever stroke you wanted. You had to be in the water five minutes. I took beginning swimming first semester freshman year to get it out of the way. I never really learned freestyle stroke or how to successfully tread water for very long. But I did get the hang of swimming of my back using the "chicken airplane soldier" movements. And I made sure to spend the entire five minutes swimming that. Pass.

UNC got rid of the requirement in the early 2000s. But yes, it was very stressful for a lot of people. My best friend had to take survival swimming -- designed for people who are afraid of water -- twice before she could muster up the nerve to attempt the test.

[baymom]

I also agree that this must be regional because I remember hearing an NPR story a few years back that some universities and colleges on the east coast still required a swim test to graduate. I am a California native and had never heard of that.


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I grew up in OC, in Southern California, and my public HS had a swim requirement for graduation. We had to be able to demonstrate during PE that we could swim the length of the pool. I was on the swim team, so never took PE, but it was certainly a thing even in SoCal, back then.

My kids are 11 and 12 and can swim laps at the pool but have such inefficient strokes it really makes me cringe. They'll each be taking 5 straight days of private lessons this summer because I'd like them to correct this before it becomes even more ingrained. And, of course, they would rather listen to a swim teacher's suggestions than DH's or mine.

[TwinFoxes]

They could also overestimate their abilities. Years of swimming to the side mean they can swim those few feet, but maybe not much else, maybe can't handle anything unusual.

Well, but then they can't swim. I think PP's post was directed at people saying that lessons aren't necessary because they'll be in the pool with their kids, implying kids who can swim could drown without parents in the pool. My kids can swim at least 100 meters in two strokes, and 50 meters in another, and tread water for well over a minute. I feel fine being on the pool deck while they're in the water with two lifeguards and me watching them. I do not think kids who can barely dog paddle are safer than my kids simply because their parent who can also barely dog paddle is in the water with them.

[Philly Mom]

Well, but then they can't swim. I think PP's post was directed at people saying that lessons aren't necessary because they'll be in the pool with their kids, implying kids who can swim could drown without parents in the pool. My kids can swim at least 100 meters in two strokes, and 50 meters in another, and tread water for well over a minute. I feel fine being on the pool deck while they're in the water with two lifeguards and me watching them. I do not think kids who can barely dog paddle are safer than my kids simply because their parent who can also barely dog paddle is in the water with them.

I agree. To swim means the ability to do laps even if a stroke isn't there. I think it is important that I also know how to do strokes and laps to be safe at watching my kids in the pool.


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[abh5e8]

I completely agree a strong swimmer is not enough protection against drowning. We are lake people... Tons of swimming, boating, skiing and fishing all summer. Rule is life jackets anytime kids are on dock for any reason and of course, I they are in the boat or water.dh and I wear life jackets in the water and boat. And we are all truly strong swimmer. As in swam competitively in highschool. We never swim alone. Kids always in a guarded pool or dh or I "guard." I was a life guard for many years as well.

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[Percycat]

I completely agree a strong swimmer is not enough protection against drowning. We are lake people... Tons of swimming, boating, skiing and fishing all summer. Rule is life jackets anytime kids are on dock for any reason and of course, I they are in the boat or water.dh and I wear life jackets in the water and boat. And we are all truly strong swimmer. As in swam competitively in highschool. We never swim alone. Kids always in a guarded pool or dh or I "guard." I was a life guard for many years as well.

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This is true for my family too. We go to a family lake house regularly. Kids wear life jackets when ever on the dock, boat, or in the water. And at least one adult is watching. We do allow kids to wear ski-belts when just swimming, or on the dock. But if boating, canoeing, kayaking, skiing -- coast guard approved life jackets on all of us. My kids are both on rec swim team. I was trained as a lifeguard when I was a kid and last summer completed training to be re-certified. Stuff happens. Even strong swimmers have accidents, get injured, panic, or get in situations they can't handle. Any good swim program will also teach the importance of water safety.

[khm]

Well, but then they can't swim.

I agree, but I think many people see their kid "pass a deep end test" and call them "strong swimmers". That's why I said abilities are overestimated.

[Simon]

I agree, but I think many people see their kid "pass a deep end test" and call them "strong swimmers". That's why I said abilities are overestimated.

ITA. Relatives bragged endlessly about how their kid "swam like a fish" and they honestly believed the kid was a strong swimmer at a very young age. I watched video of said kid swimming and then saw it in person. In my eyes it was basic dog paddling for 25 meters with several breaks to tread water and pant for breath. As proud parents they saw something totally different from what I observed.

[Kindra178]

To me, a strong swimmer can swim a mile against tides and save himself following a boating accident. My kids couldn't do that. However, they could go down the drop slide or diving board 45 times in a row at our community pool with life guards watching at age 6 without any involvement from me or other adult in the water. That's the type of proficiency that seems to provide some drowning prevention. For us, that took years of year round lessons (in chicago during polar vortex winters), countless hours of pool time with me in the water, private lessons, group lessons, semi private lessons, etc.


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[DualvansMommy]

To me, a strong swimmer can swim a mile against tides and save himself following a boating accident. My kids couldn't do that. However, they could go down the drop slide or diving board 45 times in a row at our community pool with life guards watching at age 6 without any involvement from me or other adult in the water. That's the type of proficiency that seems to provide some drowning prevention. For us, that took years of year round lessons (in chicago during polar vortex winters), countless hours of pool time with me in the water, private lessons, group lessons, semi private lessons, etc.


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That's us too! It took two years of hard work between semi private lessons to private lessons, me in the pool with DS1 to reach the level he's at today. He can slide off the slide, jump off the diving board and swim half length of pool to side wall, tread water deep end. However he still cannot swim 25 meters without stopping to tread or pant. That is his current goal this summer he wants to work on, as he wants to move up next level in his swim lessons at our health club.

I can feel semi confident to watch DS1 swim towards middle to deep end of pool while I'm in the pool. Im not there in comfort level to be completely out of sight for 20 mins or more on end yet. And to illustrate my mom gut instinct, just TODAY I was in the middle of pool at 4.5 feet deep with DS2, teaching him to swim while DS1 was couple of feet away in deep end doing his zillion jumps off the diving board. He slipped and fell off the board, scraping his knee badly to get a bleed, yet still managed to have enough basic skill to jump back up to surface and swim towards the ladder. That was WITH the lifeguard watching just meters away, so I always wanted both kids to have enough skill to master situations like that in the pool. And still keep improving to be a strong proficient swimmer.


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[schrocat]

We do year round lessons because I've seen how my kids regress if they stop lessons. My 11 year old graduated from the last level at the swim school and his strokes got really awful after a few months of no lessons. I put him back in lessons after that. My kindergartner can now swim a pool's length of freestyle and backstroke easily. I credit it to year round lessons.

[lizzywednesday]

...But I did get the hang of swimming of my back using the "chicken airplane soldier" movements. And I made sure to spend the entire five minutes swimming that. Pass....

I call that "elementary backstroke."

[HannaAddict]

There is nothing you can do without spending a certain amount of time, you can't learn on land. Try private lessons at least twice a week and more if you can to get over the hump. On vacation, see if you can book a daily lesson at the hotel, some have them. For our kids, they love water and weren't scared but the weekly lessons didn't really do it. For one we did four or five private lessons every day or every other and then it clicked. For my daughter, she went to a summer camp that did a private 20 minute lesson every day and free swim too and went from not putting her face in the water to being a fish. My youngest took the longest (6) since we just didn't have as much time as he's the youngest. He loved the water but needed the same camp to get comfortable. Once they can swim, they don't lose the ability in my experience. And then nice to improve later with a series of group advanced lessons or swim team. It makes a huge difference to do something daily or more than once a week.


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[schrocat]

I call that "elementary backstroke."

Yep... It's called the elementary backstroke. My Kindergartner just mastered it along with the normal backstroke. I would like his backstroke to be straighter though. Next on the list, breaststroke and butterfly.

[lizzywednesday]

... I would like his backstroke to be straighter though. Next on the list, breaststroke and butterfly.

I didn't have a straight backstroke until I was much older - maybe 9 or 10? - and had taken a stroke clinic. The method they taught was keeping one's eyes focused on the diving block at the end of the lane while moving toward the other end. (They also taught us to count strokes between the warning flags and the wall so we didn't slam into it headfirst.)

Our swim team didn't teach butterfly 'til age 9 or so, but, of course, that was around 1987 and it was summer-swim in a lake, which means it's YMMV.