For those of you who feel guilty about paying for household help

[candaceb]

Here is justification, as reported in the Washington Post:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/yes-you-can-buy-happiness--if-you-spend-it-to-save-time/2017/07/24/95041a44-70a4-11e7-8c17-533c52b2f014_story.html?utm_term=.6de2ce35adb6

[abh5e8]

Here is justification, as reported in the Washington Post:
https://www.washingtonpost.com/business/yes-you-can-buy-happiness--if-you-spend-it-to-save-time/2017/07/24/95041a44-70a4-11e7-8c17-533c52b2f014_story.html?utm_term=.6de2ce35adb6Inte resting! As someone with a twice monthly house cleaner, I totally agree with this article.

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[robinsmommy]

I read it with interest, as I have long held firm on not hiring out. I might reconsider - I do hear a fair number of stories of problems (theft, etc), and while I know many people have no problems, I worry about it. I would like to find a compromise of some sort. Maybe focus more on outdoor work, like windows. Or maybe just hiring for a big twice a year deep-clean or such. I do wonder how the minimum wage changes my state has made has affected the industry - I suspect they have had to raise prices.

Anybody have some kind of middle ground on the issue? What do you hire out or do yourself?

ETA - Gah. Just saw the other thread. I keep thinking I am over jet lag. Guess not!

[hillview]

So so true.

[essnce629]

I read it with interest, as I have long held firm on not hiring out. I might reconsider - I do hear a fair number of stories of problems (theft, etc), and while I know many people have no problems, I worry about it.

Anybody have some kind of middle ground on the issue? What do you hire out or do yourself?


I 100% agree with the article! Before having a housekeeper, I would always have to nag DH about helping with the cleaning and in the end I'd end up doing it all myself and then would be resentful. I'd cut back on everything else before getting rid of our housekeeper!!!

In my opinion, I'd much rather have a single person who comes on a regular basis vs a cleaning service that comes a handful times a year. If someone is in your house every week or every other week you get to know them really well and I think you're less likely to have problems like stealing, etc especially if you found them from word of mouth from a friend/coworker. We've had the same housekeeper for 8 years and she's also become our babysitter and cat sitter. I know her entire family, her 21 year daughter babysits for us too, we attend her younger son's birthday parties, etc.

For hired help we have a weekly housekeeper, weekly gardener, and now a weekly pool cleaner.


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[DualvansMommy]

I 100% agree with the article! Before having a housekeeper, I would always have to nag DH about helping with the cleaning and in the end I'd end up doing it all myself and then would be resentful. I'd cut back on everything else before getting rid of our housekeeper!!!

In my opinion, I'd much rather have a single person who comes on a regular basis vs a cleaning service that comes a handful times a year. If someone is in your house every week or every other week you get to know them really well and I think you're less likely to have problems like stealing, etc especially if you found them from word of mouth from a friend/coworker. We've had the same housekeeper for 8 years and she's also become our babysitter and cat sitter. I know her entire family, her 21 year daughter babysits for us too, we attend her her younger son's birthday parties, etc.

For hired help we have a weekly housekeeper, weekly gardener, and now a weekly pool cleaner.


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That's us too! Prior finding our housekeeper from my neighborhood group, we had a group maid who rotate the staff. I found that particular setup not very satisfying, expensive and annoying. They came at random days, and not usually a set day like our current housekeeper.

She's also our night sitter which is so nice! As already knows our house well from the cleaning duties, knows our boys since their births. We totally would cut back on everything before losing our housekeeper! Between her, weekly landscaper and hiring out dry cleaners for pickup/drop offs, we focus so much more on ourselves and the kids. I also find myself resorting to more curbside grocery pickups too, even though there were some days I do have time to go inside the grocery store. Just saves so much in my time to not schlep, look for everything, check out etc. doing this approach also helps me to meal prep much more effectively, as I usually get it all done in next 1-2 hours from the supermarket.


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[carolinamama]

I would seriously alter many many other family budget items before giving up my every-other-week cleaning person if it came down to it. Walking into a clean house (the whole house, not piece by piece) brings me such joy. No kidding. I would love to hire a weekly yard person, but DH doesn't want to give up that domain. There just aren't enough hours in the day though so maybe I'll work on him soon!

Totally agree about having a single person instead of the rotating staff of a company. Our housecleaner has has been with us for years. I trust her and we can tell that she genuinely cares about our family.

[123LuckyMom]

What this article doesn't address is the ethical implications of saddling someone else with the tasks you find unpleasant, even for money, or the exploitation that can be a part of many businesses that employ cleaners. This is what most people I know are concerned about when they express guilt over hiring a cleaner. Personally, I have hired cleaners, and I used to have a regular one, though I don't currently (and wish I did). There's no question that it makes the people whose houses are getting cleaned happier, but that knowledge wouldn't alleviate any of the concerns many people hold about the knotty issues of inequality and exploitation. The cleaners I've hired have been independent, not employed by a service, and they've earned a fair wage. I still have felt guilty at times, though, just because I'm in a position of privilege that potentially can free me from unpleasant and laborious tasks while so many others have no choice but to eek out a living doing tasks I don't want to do myself. That's where my guilt comes from.

The cleaner who works for my mom in my town is a teacher who picks up extra money cleaning. She's good at it, enjoys it, and takes pride in her work. She and I have had a couple of conversations about her choice, and she sees it as a win-win. She likes making things clean. It gives her a sense of accomplishment. She knows other people hate cleaning, so she says she feels like she's doing something she doesn't mind doing at all for money she needs, and she feels like she's helping others. If all cleaners were like that, I wouldn't feel guilt at all!!! It would feel just like when I drop off my kids with my BFF so she can do a craft or baking project with them, (which is kind of a nightmare scenario for me) and she drops off her kids with me so I can read them a million books and help them organize a talent show (which would make her bonkers.) I doubt that's the scenario for most cleaners, though.


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[candaceb]

I will only hire independent cleaners, not from a commercial service - I don't want to be paying $25 an hour only to have the person in my house being paid $10 an hour. I have paid roughly $25/hour for the last several cleaners. When we moved last year, I posted in a neighborhood facebook group looking for a house cleaner, and one neighbor forwarded his post to the woman who owns the cleaning service he uses. She approached me saying "I know you said you didn't want a service, but..." She has primarily her daughter and her best friend working with her, and she told me what the split is (they each make roughly $20/hour and don't have to pay for the mileage or supplies) and I am comfortable with it. I am confident that they are not being exploited.

DH and I lived together for several years before we got married and when we did pre-marital counseling it was clear that cleaning was an issue. Our therapist said that we have to have a cleaning person, always, and always make sure that it is in the budget. Even when DH was unemployed, we gave up other things to be able to swing having the house cleaned. For me it is a matter of sanity. Partly because it makes sure that the house gets picked up every 2 weeks so it can get cleaned. We are both naturally messy so I can't imagine how bad it would get if we didn't have a scheduled cleaning.

[sunnyside]

We have a personal housekeeper. My girls have a sweet sisters chart where they each put a sticker on when they are nice to each other, or help each other, or work together on something, etc. This time they wanted to get ice cream when they fill it up, and our housekeeper told them she will pop over and come with them with us when it's filled up. She does a great job, and is trustworthy, and we really adore her. She comes twice a week for a total of 5 hours. I'm a single mom with no help and I have my kids 100% of the time, so even though it adds up, I just tell myself that I deserve 5 hours of help a week from someone even if I have to pay for it. And we are all SO much happier this way. She also is happy to pick up toys and help with clutter, which is what i need almost more than cleaning. Definitely am a much happier mama when I have help.

[robinsmommy]

What this article doesn't address is the ethical implications of saddling someone else with the tasks you find unpleasant, even for money, or the exploitation that can be a part of many businesses that employ cleaners. This is what most people I know are concerned about when they express guilt over hiring a cleaner. Personally, I have hired cleaners, and I used to have a regular one, though I don't currently (and wish I did). There's no question that it makes the people whose houses are getting cleaned happier, but that knowledge wouldn't alleviate any of the concerns many people hold about the knotty issues of inequality and exploitation. The cleaners I've hired have been independent, not employed by a service, and they've earned a fair wage. I still have felt guilty at times, though, just because I'm in a position of privilege that potentially can free me from unpleasant and laborious tasks while so many others have no choice but to eek out a living doing tasks I don't want to do myself. That's where my guilt comes from.

The cleaner who works for my mom in my town is a teacher who picks up extra money cleaning. She's good at it, enjoys it, and takes pride in her work. She and I have had a couple of conversations about her choice, and she sees it as a win-win. She likes making things clean. It gives her a sense of accomplishment. She knows other people hate cleaning, so she says she feels like she's doing something she doesn't mind doing at all for money she needs, and she feels like she's helping others. If all cleaners were like that, I wouldn't feel guilt at all!!! It would feel just like when I drop off my kids with my BFF so she can do a craft or baking project with them, (which is kind of a nightmare scenario for me) and she drops off her kids with me so I can read them a million books and help them organize a talent show (which would make her bonkers.) I doubt that's the scenario for most cleaners, though.


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Yes. One of the things I remember when debating housecleaning is the chapter on it in Nickle and Dimed, and it has been part of why I have held off. It sounds like many posters have found good solutions for the problem though.