Potty training dilemma/frustration

[DualvansMommy]

Ds2 just turned 3.5 years old and I had planned on starting his potty training after his camp sessions finished. That was 2 weeks ago, and I've tried few different approaches that I used with DS1. It doesn't seem to work with DS2 who is very strong willed kid, my issue is I feel he is ready because he knows purpose, where and how to sit on the potty.

He talks about how he's a big boy now and can't wear diapers, but whenever I try diaper free day he just loses it. I feel kinda defeated cuz we had a rough start to our summer and I didn't want to start potty training when he was starting camp and no sign of readiness then. We're going to Ireland for 6 nights next week then it's down to our shore vacation the weekend we return back home for another week. Then school starts?!?! I feel stressed out thinking about it as he's starting preschool where they want him to be semi ready potty trained and will work with us on his training in the meantime. But the expectation is it needs to be done by Christmas break though, by then DS2 will turn four after the new year. So in my long winded way, I do feel it is time for him to let go of his diapers but how?

Tips, advice and commiseration would be greatly appreciated here! I never had this much trouble with our oldest and know every child is different.


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[lalasmama]

While I'm generally not a fan--have you tried pull-ups? Then he'd at least partially have the diaper feel he's wanting, but with the ease of undies? Does he use the potty at all? Have you tried toilet vs little potty? Our older 2 grandsons hopped up on the toilet backwards while training, all on their own. Their little brother is scared of the toilet and will only use the little potty.

Its definitely a busy time in your family to be potty training as well!

[jgenie]

I would take a break from it if he's pushing back. You can potty train over a weekend in the fall or worst case over the holidays.


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[hillview]

I would take a break from it if he's pushing back. You can potty train over a weekend in the fall or worst case over the holidays.


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Agree. Don't pick this battle!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd just wait. As annoying as diapers are, they'll actually probably be easier than a newly potty trained kid for traveling.


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[DualvansMommy]

Ok thanks guys. I'll wait, as good point about traveling! Not worth the stress of trying to deal with a newly potty kid overseas.

Meantime I'll still need tips how best to begin and to keep it going when I start though! It'll probably be somewhere near and over Labor Day as kids don't start school till Sept 7th and 11th. So that's big chuck of gap time I want to take advantage since we all will be around home.


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[georgiegirl]

Definitely don't do anything before you leave for an international trip. I mistakenly potty trained DD two weeks before a cross country flight and we had a big argument about whether she'd have to wear a pull up on the airplane. She insisted she'd be fine, but I wasn't going to take a newly potty trained two year old on an airplane wearing underwear.


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[BDKmom]

I agree with waiting until after your trips. But I would start talking it up now. Like, "when we get back from x trip, no more diapers." Let him know it's coming. Then when you start, I would let him choose pull ups or underwear, but no more diapers. Also in the mean time, I would practice on the toilet or little potty if he hasn't already. We started with just going at bedtime while we were changing into pjs and/or in the morning when getting dressed.

[specialp]

I agree with waiting until after your trips. But I would start talking it up now. Like, "when we get back from x trip, no more diapers." Let him know it's coming. Then when you start, I would let him choose pull ups or underwear, but no more diapers. Also in the mean time, I would practice on the toilet or little potty if he hasn't already. We started with just going at bedtime while we were changing into pjs and/or in the morning when getting dressed.


Agreed. Wait after the trip, but in a enthusiastic way, build up that it is happening right after. We had them go on the potty before we left in the morning, before baths, and before bed at night while in diapers. Mine were younger so might not be necessary for you, but I also had them pull their own pants up and down after diaper changes to get used that part. When you start, know what his currency is for reward. M&ms, prizes, stickers never worked, but over the top praise and celebration/cheer dancing by all of us did.

[Pear]

I would also wait until after the trip.
Then it is time to BRIBE. I went with a prize shelf so the rewards were tangible and obvious. Just little trinkets like a car or some stickers. Then start with getting at least on pee on the potty on a day gets a prize for that day(max 1 a day) Work your way up to dry all day being the requirement.

[HannaAddict]

They do it when they are ready, give it time. 3.5 is early for a boy and a battle of wills isn't worth it. Follow his cues. If he isn't ready, mentally or emotionally or physically, no amount of bribes or training will change it. Hang in there, it will happen.


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[Philly Mom]

They do it when they are ready, give it time. 3.5 is early for a boy and a battle of wills isn't worth it. Follow his cues. If he isn't ready, mentally or emotionally or physically, no amount of bribes or training will change it. Hang in there, it will happen.


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I agree with this.


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[khm]

They do it when they are ready, give it time. 3.5 is early for a boy and a battle of wills isn't worth it. Follow his cues. If he isn't ready, mentally or emotionally or physically, no amount of bribes or training will change it. Hang in there, it will happen.


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Yup, my son didn't want prizes or candy or bribery or fanfare of any kind. I tried it ALL. He just did it when he was ready to do it. When I praised him that first time, he gritted his teeth and pretty much growled at me. He wanted NO ATTENTION paid to potty issues. Shrug. Once he decided though, that was it, he was 100% trained and that was that. A complete 180 from my older daughter who loved the M&Ms and the fanfare.

[Mommy_Mea]

I agree with waiting until after vacation. We did the 3 day method, and gave stickers as a reward, but I am not sure how much of a motivator the reward was. I just have to say that day 1 was a total disaster. Accidents everywhere, never went in the potty. So much laundry. The start of day 2 was the same and then suddenly success! And some accidents, but some success too! Day 3 was even better. So don't get discouraged if it doesn't happen right away. Stay positive and don't make a big deal out of accidents.

[PZMommy]

No advice but when my DS was 3 1/2 we tried training him at home and were getting nowhere. He couldn't move up to the next class at school until he was potty trained. When he was at school and saw all his friends using the bathroom and getting to move to "the big side", that was all it took. He day and night trained in a day. He is as stubborn as a mule, but when he wanted it, he could do it no problem!!!

[123LuckyMom]

I agree to wait until after the vacation but to start talking it up now. Also, have him watch videos like Elmo's Potty Time (which you can purchase and stream on Amazon) and Once Upon a Potty. I waited to potty train my son until my cousin and her twin older boys were coming to town. We all went to the store, and all the big boys (including DS) got to pick out new undies. Then we planned lots of activities, and the rule was that all the big boys had to go potty before we could leave for the activity, and all the big boys had to go potty right after we got home. We put DS in undies, and let the joy of being one of the big boys carry him. Every time he made it to the potty, we all sang a song about how he had dry pants. He had one accident on the first day, and then he was pretty much trained. The inclusion with the big boys, the air of celebration, and the lure of the exciting activities all really helped-- and I'd been trying to train him unsuccessfully for a while! It took intervention from someone other than me to give him the incentive he needed. I don't know if you've got older boy relatives or friends like that around, but it might really help. And the videos. The videos helped, too. They're super insipid, though, and you may be watching them long after potty training is complete, but I think it's worth it.


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[lovingdenver10]

It's usually best to wait it out if they are resisting that much.Good luck!