Do you have someone who can come to your house in emergency at all hours?

[AnnieW625]

We don't have anyone in our neighborhood. Before my neighbor started working 3am-12pm shifts I would've told him, but now with his work hours I don't want to inconvenience him. Our closest relatives (DH's aunt & uncle) are 20 minutes away, and the bulk of our friends have young kids or multiple kids as well so they couldn't just pack up and leave to watch our kids.

DH insisted on driving me to the ER (5 miles from home) after I tripped at 10 pm at on Wednesday night and gashed my wrist on my dog's crate and immediately knew I needed stitches. I wanted to call his aunt and uncle to stay with the kids. I told him I could take an Uber to the ER and he could come and pick me up when I was done, then I said he could drop me off as well and I would call when I was done. He stayed with me the whole time and we were gone for 2 hours. Dd1 is 11, and DD2 is 7. DD2 slept through the whole thing, but DD1 said she had intermittent sleep but was on the couch and half asleep when we got home and I am not sure how long she actually slept. She knows our numbers and has been home alone for an hour before with no problem, and she said she was fine. I have some mommy guilt about this whole thing.

I remember being in a similar situation when I was about that age so my brother was 8 and my sister was 1 and my dad smashed his finger while moving some concrete blocks in his garden when my mom was away for a weekend so I was home alone with two siblings for a few hours, but it was during the day, and at least one other neighbor was home.


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[JBaxter]

Yes but DS3 is 13 now so its not an issue. At 11 I would have trusted him while DS4 slept.

[BunnyBee]

No. I had to take the kids with us when I needed to take DH to the ER in the middle of the night. Fun times.

[trcy]

Yes. My mom lives very close. This is a big part of why we moved to this area.


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[georgiegirl]

20 min away isn't bad at all. MIL lives 10 min away but she doesn't drive, so it's a 20 min round trip to get her. I have a neighbor who can help out, but she has three kids, so she can't just up and leave them overnight.


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[chottumommy]

No family but a lot of close friends. They all have young kids but would be willing to have one partner either drive me to ER or stay with the kids.

It happened when I had sudden appendicitis symptoms and needed a surgery. DH was out of town, I was in extreme pain where I couldn't even type. DS1 was in school and DS2 was home with me. DS2 called one of my friends and she arranged everything. Had someone pick up DS1 from school, took me and DS2 to ER. I got admitted and between all my friends they had both the boys for the 2 days I was in the hospital. They even packed lunch for them instead of having them eat at school.

I'm so grateful I live in a small town where pretty much all of DS's classmates are our close friends. I can rely on anyone for pretty much anything and would return the favor too.

[SnuggleBuggles]

We do but I'm terrible about asking for help. We'd likely manage on our own.


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[rlu]

Yes we do and we have volunteered to be the emergency contact for my near-by aunt & uncle as their kids are over an hour away. I agree age 11 was theoretically fine for a few hours for OP but she knows her kids best.

eta: at age 11 I thought DS would be ok to babysit during the day/evening, if OP thinks the same of her kid, try to minimize your mommy guilt. I realize this was a night, but they were fine.

[o_mom]

Yes. We have 3 relatives within 2-20 min drive. I also can think of at least three friends off the top of my head that I could call at any hour and they would help.

[carolinacool]

No family here, but we have some very close friends who would do it in a heartbeat. They live here in town but are about 20 minutes away. And whichever one who came would probably need about 5 or 10 minutes to get organized, especially if called in the middle of the night. So that's about 30 minutes of wait time. If we needed to leave sooner, we'd probably walk DS across the street to our neighbors. Although we don't know them super well, we chat in the yard a lot and our boys have played together some. I feel confident that would do it.

[123LuckyMom]

We have no family to help, and, like you, our friends mostly have young children. I'm part of a church community, though, and I do know of a bunch of people I could call if I really needed help, and I absolutely know they would drop everything and respond. When I was suffering from severe pain and was bedridden during my second pregnancy, many people came and babysat, brought us food, did laundry-- anything and everything. In a situation like you describe, though, if my children were old enough, I'd be okay leaving them at home. Mine are younger (8 and 5), so I'd pack them up and take them with us. If it were a situation where it was a serious emergency, to the extent, for example, where an ambulance needed to be called, there are neighbors with kids my kids' age I could call, and we have very good friends we could call, but for a situation where I sort of knew the outcome-- like needing to go get stitches or an X-ray for a broken bone, I'd just bundle the kids up and take them. I wouldn't wake friends or neighbors (or family, if we had that option) in the middle of the night for something like that. I think you did fine to leave them for an hour, and no guilt is necessary.


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[specialp]

We do, but if my kids were the age of yours I'm sure I would handle it the way you did for that situation.

[niccig]

We were at ER at 11pm, I left DH there and took DS, 12, home to sleep. I then went back and stayed with DH until 4 and he was admitted. We do have friends who would help and they live near the hospital, but they were out of town. There's a neighbor whose son is in DS class, they're friends, but not best buddies. The dad is a policeman and I know he would help out, as he's like that, but i would hate to inconvenience them.


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[essnce629]

We have our housekeeper and her 21 year old daughter who live about 3 miles away. When I had surgery last summer our housekeeper came over super early to stay with the kids (they were still asleep) so DH could take me to the hospital. DS1 will be 14 this month though so not really an issue any more. We also have 3 next door neighbors who also have kids our kids' ages who we've known for 6 years who would be happy to help in a pinch as well.

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[lalasmama]

Our adult daughter lives 8 miles away, and will drop everything to come help out, and vice versa.

[bisous]

Yes. I've got two sets of grandparents, three siblings between DH and I, our next door neighbors and probably 2 other close friends that I could call and they'd help out in an emergency. In our church community we also have resources that we could call and get somebody to help out if all these people were not available. We feel lucky like that.

Speaking from experience of someone who has sat with families while a loved one was in the ER, you might be surprised at how willing people are to help out. I know the feeling of not wanting to inconvenience anyone but in most true emergency situations people are pleased to be put to work. I've gotten those calls and my first thoughts are full of anxiety and worry. It gives me peace to be in a position to provide real aid to a family in need. So call someone if you need help. People are nice!

[TwinFoxes]

Yes, my across the street neighbor and several women friends in the neighborhood would come over at that time of night. But, I think you were fine to leave your older DD watching your younger one in that situation.

[bw52]

No family near us. Our kids go everywhere with us--even to the er.

We do have friends with kids we could call if we needed to stay in the hospital for longer (ie when baby came early), but i wouldn't call them in the middle of the night and we try to have 1 of us take the kids back asap.

[belovedgandp]

For a true emergency, yes, I'd be comfortable asking several of our immediate neighbors. I'm defining "true" as bolting from house NOW.

For what you described I would have called my parents. It's 15-20 minutes for them to get to us.

[mackmama]

No not at all, and it stresses me out.

[KrisM]

I have friends that live close that I would call. Yes most have kids too, but most are married so one could come. In fact in 2010 I called a friend at 1am to come sit in my house so I could take DH to the ER.

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[Philly Mom]

We are friendly with lots of our neighbors and in a pinch I would ask one of them. Most have kids but I normally know if both parents are home. We also have some friends and some neighbors in their 60s who I would turn to next. Not ideal but I know they would help until one of my parents could arrive, which depending on the time of year could be hours.


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[mikala]

Yes, thankfully. We had an ambulance ride this year and in the time it took for a close friend to arrive two neighbors offered to help with the kids. It's probably harder during the day when friends are at work but we have niggt/weekend coverage for things like ER visits.

[DualvansMommy]

Yes we do have that. In fact, I had a bad fall leaving a place tripping over Ds2 requiring stitches. Dh had to drive me to the ER, luckily we were with cousins at the time so they called my sister in law who came to drive my boys home and babysat them with my niece. They stayed from 6pm till midnight when we finally came home from the ER, so we have them and other cousins to count on, all live within a mile to 15 miles away from us.

In a pinch we do have our sitter we could call who could come over after 4pm to overnight if we had an emergency that occurred late at night.


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[California]

Yes, and I've realized people really do want to help. Over the years with three kids I've had situatuons come up where I had no choice but to ask for help. Everytime it's humbled me to realize how loving people can be.

This summer a relative in an emergency asked me to travel to an ICU across the country. DH couldn't take all the time off. Within a few hours I had my three DC covered with three days worth of outings with friends and family to get them to the weekend. And people pitched in to make it extra special for my kids as they knew it was a sad/stressful circumstance. Sometimes being forced to ask reveals support you didn't fully know existed.

[Liziz]

Yes, I do. My DH and I both dislike asking for help though so it would have to be a really serious thing, but in that case, there are several people I would call. I've also been the neighbor called at a crazy hour to watch kids for a trip to the ER....so I know that neighbor would help me out in a similar situation.

Since I left for college, I have never lived remotely close to any family or super close friends. But one thing I have slowly learned over time is that over all, people are good and helpful and will step up when there's a real need. Thinking about my current situation, I can think of about 8 different people within a 20 minute drive that I COULD call if it was a real, true emergency. If I think back to my standards of even 2 years ago, I would have MAYBE said I had 1 single person here that I could call....I would never have considered most of the people now on my list of 8. But I'm getting a little more comfortable knowing that you don't have to be best friends with someone or related to them for them to be willing to help you out in a true emergency.

[lizzywednesday]

My ILs all (MIL/FIL and BIL/SIL) live 5-7 minutes away. When I burned my legs & feet two summers ago, they were able to take DD while DH and I went to the ER. (I don't recall how many hours we were there, but it was pretty slow and I was low-priority.)

As long as they're not snowbirding, they're usually able to lend a hand.

We're very lucky, though. (My parents had the same thing with my dad's parents.)

[klwa]

My ILs live 10-15 minutes away, including both BILs and their wives, plus some very close church friends, so I'm pretty sure that we could have someone here in an emergency.

[smilequeen]

Yes. My parents are about 15 minutes from us. We actually had 2 ER visits in one week last fall so I have had to test that out.