Help! A playdate is morphing into a birthday party

[daisyd]

So I was getting 3 of DS's best friends for a playdate at our home on his b'day. I was planning on free play and serving pizza and cake as it happened to be DS is b'day. Now it looks like I have to invite 2 other kids as they had pre-existing plans with one of the friends. DS is turning 9 and I will have my 4.5 yr old DS2 at home as well. DH will be at work and I'm feeling a little overwhelmed. We don't even have enough furniture for 6-7 kids :(I know I should probably plan some structured activity to keep these many kids busy. I'm also worried that not including some friends will miff parents in our small town. Please help!I only have a few days to go :(

Perhaps something surrounding basketball (we have a hoop and a good sized yard)? Board games? Should I just let it be a playdate and let the kids decide what they want to do???

[SnuggleBuggles]

How long is it going to be?
I don't understand why the one family said yes if they had plans with someone else. That sounds super presumptuous to me but maybe I'm not understanding right.


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[carolinacool]

I don't understand why the one family said yes if they had plans with someone else. That sounds super presumptuous to me but maybe I'm not understanding right.

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Yes, I'm confused, too. Do you know these other kids? If you haven't invited the stragglers yet, can you change the time of your thing? ("Oh, I'll come and get Jimmy after Billy and Jason have left.")

If that won't work, I would think they could shoot basketball and just hang outside for a while. Video games? Honestly, I haven't been to a home birthday party where planned activities worked all that well.

[Globetrotter]

I think it depends on the crowd. DS has some friends who are calmer and like boardgames, and then there were his rowdy school friends LOL
If it's the latter, I would keep them entertained outside with various sports equipment. I too am wondering why you have to invite the other kids and why that friend said yes if they were otherwise occupied. Honestly, I would change The timing of your play date if you want to keep it small.

[bisous]

I could be wrong but I'm imagining the scenario as follows: OP invites friend. Friends says I would love to BUT I'm already hanging out with so and so at which point OP, out of politeness, says well maybe we could invite them too?

OP, I think this isn't too overwhelming. I'd figure out what might appeal to the crowd best, whether outside games or quiet play and just imagine a few hours of chaos. I'd still be light on the birthday thing. Provide cake and stuff but I don't think you need to worry too much. I'm sure you have enough space for everyone. Make it a picnic if your dining table is too small. Or have your DS2 sit at the bar or something. Don't worry too much about not inviting others. It is just a little bit bigger than anticipated playdate and you've got this!

[essnce629]

My DS2 is the same age and I wouldn't stress about it. Just treat it like any other play date. Don't plan activities yourself, have your son come up with ideas. That's what I do. Before a play date I remind him who's coming over and ask him to think of 3 or 4 things they can do. We have a pool now so swimming is usually involved for part of the time but he usually adds Pokemon cards, board games, basketball, and eating snacks (we have a popcorn machine so I always have fresh popped popcorn). Sometimes, if they've gone through all their activities I'll allow 30 minutes or so of playing on the tablet.

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[niccig]

Keep it as a play date. One year we hosted our playgroup and had cake and pizza for DS's birthday. Easiest birthday party ever. I did have a little favor for the kids to take home. I'd let them do what they want - at that age here it would've been nerf battle, minecraft, running in backyard and a movie if a little longer play date.

[TwinFoxes]

FWIW, I have never heard of anyone IRL being miffed their kid wasn't invited to a birthday party. I've seen people on this board complain about being invited or complain about being invited late which apparently is an insult and means they were on the "B" list, but I think it's just not that common. I would just have the kids over, follow their lead. I've had that many kids at my house for impromptu playdates, and it's been fine. They figure things out. If nothing else, those boring old toys my kids haven't played with take on new appeal once other kids are over. You'll be fine, don't stress. :)

[daisyd]

I could be wrong but I'm imagining the scenario as follows: OP invites friend. Friends says I would love to BUT I'm already hanging out with so and so at which point OP, out of politeness, says well maybe we could invite them too?


This is pretty much what happened except friend said "We would love to but X is already scheduled with us? Can he come too? Would it be too many kids to have X as well?" And when it was phrased like that I felt like I couldn't say no.

X is a good friend of DS1 and his parents are my friends. I'd have invited X to a birthday party for sure. It's just that for the play date DS1 named just 3 friends and did not mention X

[daisyd]

Thanks everyone for chiming in. I'm not freaking out as much now.

[daisyd]

I'm going to call this a playdate and go light on the b'day aspect just like Nicci suggested.

DS1 spontaneously came up with playing ball, board games and may be a movie. He wanted to keep it simple.

These kiddos are all good friends of DS1 and model citizens, so thankfully I'm not worried about them getting too hyper.

I guess I was freaking out about making a party "fun and well organized". I tend to be spread thin between work and kids, so I don't have extra cycles for planning. Plus I have to clean the house (sigh)
.

[KpbS]

Also, don't worry about the furniture. When I'm in the same situation, I just throw an inexpensive tablecloth onto the table and remove all of the chairs. I put all of the snacks and cake/cupcakes, plates, etc on the table. For our movie party, the kids sat on beach towels on the floor. Kids don't care a bit. I would have them eat outside if possible. You can spread beach towels on the lawn too. Less mess to clean up! Also, don't kill yourself cleaning. It will just get messy again and kids (esp boys) simply will not notice. ;). Have a fun party!!!!

[Globetrotter]

many times I've done play date birthday parties. It's really low-key… A play date with cake, good snacks and maybe a small party favor at most.
Sometimes I would add an activity, but the boys like to just run around or play board games, depending on the crowd.

[daisyd]

Thanks I'm feeling so much better about this already!