How important is it for girls to play with other girls?

[bisous]

DD is surrounded by boys. She has three older brothers, 2 boys in the front house, 2 boys next door. I also just set up a playgroup of her friends. I included many of her friends but for whatever reason, only the boys were able to come. So it is DD plus four boys. She likes boys. I like boys. I'm ok with this. Except she really doesn't have any experience playing with girls. FWIW, I'm a girly girl and grew up with three sisters that I'm super close to. Friendship with women is really important to me. WWYD?

(BTW, she will be 4 in Nov.)

[robinsmommy]

I would try to have some smaller play dates with just 1 girl. It is less important now (she is only 4, after all), but as much as we want to think otherwise, girls tend to socialize in different ways - she will need that girl-to-girl experience in upper el, but especially middle and high school to be able to negotiate the mean girl stuff that can crop up.

Do she go to preschool or have other chances to spend time with girls her age? I would think she is fine for now, so long as she has some exposure to girls in a social setting. Just slowly work on some play dates with one girl - dynamics are different in groups as well.

An acquaintance who was a teacher and did a great job raising her own kids told me a good goal for any child socially is to understand what it means to be a best friend and how to maintain that friendship - hopefully by the end of elementary school. I see more and more truth in this as my girls age. It helps in school, and it helps prepare them to be a good partner later in life when they get married.

[trcy]

DD (6) has always gravitated towards boys. She just doesn't have much interest in playing with girls. I was concerned until I talked to her K teacher last year and to the mom of one of her friends. Both have DDs that were the same way and it never caused any problems. Her friend's mom said it was actually easier because her DD (who is quite a bit older than her brother, DD's friend) never had to deal with the mean girl drama because all of her friends (with the exception of a very few close girlfriends) were boys.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

[citymama]

My younger DD was pretty much only friends with boys till about 4.5. As soon as she got to K, she started to hang out with other girls - preschools tend to work on being more inclusive, regular (public) schools don't have time for that kind of engagement with friendships. I miss her friendships with boys because their interests in Legos and Pokemons and construction lined up better with hers, but I am glad she is making girl friends too. Give it time, and meanwhile, you can encourage girl friendships through play dates. I recommend one-on-one because I find my DD was totally dazed by groups of girls who wanted to play princesses and house. She truly didn't know how to fit in and was frequently left out or stood to the side in those settings. One on one play dates worked better because they figure out their equilibrium and shared interests.

[klwa]

I had two older brothers. Once I started school, I had a few female friends, but I always gravitated to the boys. In middle school, I got closer female friends, but my friend group stayed mixed through high school. In college, I went into a male dominated field and held my own. In grad school, the group of 6 females in my year started hanging out and are still some of my closest friends. At work, it's heavily male. I think my childhood friendships help me in my day to day life. So, I think it's okay for her friends to be skewed male at this point. It's just different from the way you grew up.

[pinkmomagain]

Even though my youngest dd only has sisters, she mostly befriended boys when she was younger. She enjoyed video games and legos, and was close with her slightly older male cousin. It started to become an issue going into 1st grade when it appeared that a more defined line came between girls and boys. So at that point I did try to encourage girl friendships as I was afraid she would be shut out by both moving forward.

[JustMe]

I understand and appreciate that friendships with women are important to you.

At age 4, though, I wouldn't worry about it. I would probably just let it be. She will probably have more friends, that include girls, when she hits Kindergarten or first grade. OTOH, I also think its fine to set up some one-on-one playdates with girls you think she might enjoy, if you find that easy enough to do.

[Philly Mom]

My DDs have always both preferred boys. Finally, in 1st grade DD1 appears to have some girl friends. I think it is a great quality to be comfortable with boys as friends.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

[squimp]

My best friends were boys until I was about 6. DD's best friend from age 3-5 (most reliable neighborhood buddy) was also a boy. I wouldn't worry about it, and follow her lead as she gets older. I think it's probably good for her.

[HannaAddict]

I wouldn't do anything. It is great to be friends with boys. She will eventually have friends of both genders. Provide opportunities when the arise but really don't worry about it. I had a best friend who was a boy all through high school, very good friends who were boys in college, in jobs and as an adult. My daughter's very good friend is a boy too and she has friends of both genders.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[bisous]

Thanks all. Her playgroup IS her preschool. A bunch of us moms are taking turns teaching. Public school will have more opportunities and she'll do TK next year in a very good program. I think the idea to have girls over for 1 on 1 playdates is a good idea. She truly does play differently than my boys in some pretty specific ways. She has whole scenarios and themes that she works on and my boys at that age were much more concrete in their play. She misses her friend who moved to Florida. I suppose she'll grow up very comfortable playing with boys and that is not a bad thing.

[bisous]

An acquaintance who was a teacher and did a great job raising her own kids told me a good goal for any child socially is to understand what it means to be a best friend and how to maintain that friendship - hopefully by the end of elementary school. I see more and more truth in this as my girls age. It helps in school, and it helps prepare them to be a good partner later in life when they get married.

I agree with this. This is well said. It is what I'm striving to do with my older kids too.

[mackmama]

At this age I'd have no problem with it although I would start some one on one girl play dates. Those social skills (i.e. Mine fields) of learning how to navigate female friendships will be critical and should start early.