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View Full Version : Do you have this issue with your tween/teens and their friends? (Kind of long)



AnnieW625
11-10-2017, 11:43 PM
Dd1 and two friends (S, and A) had planned to go to Universal Studios Hollywood today (11/10) and then realized it was a pass blackout date due to the holiday. So they decided instead they were going to go to Downtown Disney and friend Sís grandma was going to take them, but then this AM Sís Grandmaís plans changed and she couldnít take them so I offered to take them, but then Sís mom texted me and said that she thought the girls would rather just hang out at Sís house; I told Sís Mom I would still take them if they still wanted to go. Dd1 also asked S and A if they wanted to go (A never got back to Dd1), but S was adamant that now they were all going to just hang out at Sís house and ride bikes, play Christmas music on their flutes, and just talk. Dd1 told S that she didnít want to play her flute, and wanted to know why S had changed her mind. S then accused Dd1 of making her (S) cry because Dd1 didnít want to come over, and S never told DD1 why she had changed her mind. I found it very odd that S was all about going to Downtown Disney when her Grandma was going but then all of a sudden had a change of heart when she couldnít go. S didnít also like the idea of me going with them because it was suppose to be a 6th grade only day and only her Grandma was suppose to the adult there. Dd1 even told S I would leave them alone (which I would outside of lunch).

Dd1 is frustrated with S because she never wants to come to our house or do anything that we suggest; this started about a year ago. Dd1 says that S wants everything her way, and isnít open to suggestions about what to do or watch or what to eat anytime they hang out and it is really frustrating to Dd1 . I honestly canít remember the last time S was at our house or the girls did something Dd1 or Friend A suggested.

Help me through this because it is really hard on Dd1 because she has been friends with S and A since kindergarten and I have a feeling her friendship with S maybe on the fritz and I donít want Aís relationship with S suffering because of the relationship with Dd1 and S. A has acknowledged that S can be rude though (and texted this to Dd1 as well).


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essnce629
11-11-2017, 12:19 AM
No, I don't, and have never had this problem with 14 year old DS1. He goes over to his friend's house to play video games and vice versa or he walks to the mall to meet his friends. That's it! Sounds like typical girl drama to me!

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georgiegirl
11-11-2017, 10:05 AM
My DD (same age) does not have that issue with her friends. Sheís been very lucky to have little to no drama with her friends.

Could her friend have some anxiety about being away from home or with non-family? DD has some anxiety issues and might refuse to go somewhere far without me. She worries a lot before sleepovers. Sheís fine with daytime play dates though.


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infocrazy
11-11-2017, 11:28 AM
Could her friend have some anxiety about being away from home or with non-family? DD has some anxiety issues and might refuse to go somewhere far without me.

Not my kids anymore but DS2 used to be like this and he has friends that still prefer to stay at their house.

KpbS
11-15-2017, 01:15 AM
It seems to me that S is a very high maintanence friend who wants to be the only one who makes the plans, sets the terms, etc. I had a friend like this about the same age and it was miserable. She was so controlling and always managed to steer things her way.

I would encourage your DD that is is great to have her own opinions about plans. I would also gently encourage her to branch out and make a few friends that are not A or S. Middle school friendships can be very fluid (esp for girls) and it sounds like it is time to find some new friends to hang out with instead of S and her drama.