When to stop piano lessons?

[alootikki]

My 4th grader has been taking piano lessons pretty consistently since 1st grade. To be honest, I haven't seen a ton of progress - she likes piano, but really doesn't practice consistently. This is one of those things that you really need to put effort into to see the payoff (like most activities, I guess!). I took piano lessons myself as a child, and can still barely sight read today.

At what point do I stop her lessons? They are very expensive, and it doesn't seem worth it if she's still barely a level above where she started. She says she wants to continue (I suspect mainly bc she loves her young, pretty, cool teacher!) but again - pricey, not much progress, and it takes time away from other activities. And on a totally self-absorbed note - I am ready to redecorate my living room, and don't really want to incorporate a piano into the layout of no one is going to play it! (She's currently using a weighted keyboard)

Thoughts?


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[SnuggleBuggles]

I'd have quit already. ;) I'm not one to stick it out if it isn't loved and progress isn't happening. :)

[BDKmom]

I would stop. We are going through a similar situation with my 2nd grader and sports--he asks to do them but really doesn't put much effort into practicing. I think he likes the idea of playing more than the actual playing. He isn't a natural athlete, and I'm tired of trekking to practices and games if he isn't going to make any effort to improve. So we have told him we are hitting pause on sports. If he matures some and decides he wants to give it another go later, we will, but we all need a break. I would just present it to your DD as a break. If 6 mos or a year goes by and she is still interested, then maybe go back to it. But it will likely be out of sight, out of mind. Or, now that she has a little foundation in music, maybe she will find a different instrument that she wants to try.

[Green_Tea]

We have a family policy that our kids have to play an instrument, so for us the answer would be "when she choses something else" - but that's just us :).

I would hold her to a strict practice schedule if she wants to continue, and make it worth her while. I'd pay a dollar for every 20 minutes of true practice or incentivize something else she values. If she didn't want to continue, that would be a different story.

Again, that's just what I would do. Music is really important to us as a family.

[ahisma]

Don't feel guilt about quitting. My kids took violin far longer than they should have because I thought they should stick it out. They switched instruments (harp for one, guitar for another) and are both far happier. Like PP, music lessons are non-negotiable here, but instruments are up for discussion within reason (in retrospect, I was a sucker for agreeing to harp, but he's still going strong 3 years later).

In your situation, I think you have to decide to either mandate / enforce practice or be okay with quitting. Personally, I'm not willing to pay $$ and time for lessons if the kid isn't going to practice.

[o_mom]

I would talk to the teacher about finding music that motivates her. My kids spend far more time trying learn the Super Mario theme and Tetris music than their assigned music. However, much like reading, they improve by playing, even if it is not what was assigned. The band teacher always finds a "current" song for the band to play for concert because the kids love it and want to practice (think Counting Stars, My Shot, etc.)

I took lessons for years. My mom was a classical musician and insisted on classical music. I remember in about 6th grade the teacher playing some solos for me to choose from and I thought they all sounded like funeral dirges. There was no attempt to find some jazz/ragtime or even popular music that I would be motivated to learn and WANT to practice.

[Simon]

I would talk to the teacher about finding music that motivates her. My kids spend far more time trying learn the Super Mario theme and Tetris music than their assigned music. However, much like reading, they improve by playing, even if it is not what was assigned. The band teacher always finds a "current" song for the band to play for concert because the kids love it and want to practice (think Counting Stars, My Shot, etc.)

ITA! Finding the right music can make a tremendous difference. Aim for more contemporary or better variety perhaps. If your Dd has interest then maybe she needs help with motivation. I know plenty of adults, myself included, who have goals but trouble motivating ourselves to work towards them. Maybe this is a good chance to help her learn how to motivate herself on tasks that aren't always fun. If it were my kiddo, I would give her a timeline for taking practice more serious (vs. cutting her off) and showing some improvement.

[Green_Tea]

I would talk to the teacher about finding music that motivates her. My kids spend far more time trying learn the Super Mario theme and Tetris music than their assigned music. However, much like reading, they improve by playing, even if it is not what was assigned. The band teacher always finds a "current" song for the band to play for concert because the kids love it and want to practice (think Counting Stars, My Shot, etc.)

I took lessons for years. My mom was a classical musician and insisted on classical music. I remember in about 6th grade the teacher playing some solos for me to choose from and I thought they all sounded like funeral dirges. There was no attempt to find some jazz/ragtime or even popular music that I would be motivated to learn and WANT to practice.

This is an excellent idea!

[schrocat]

My kid is around the same age as your daughter but in third grade and has been taking piano lessons since kindergarten. He's probably stopping at the end of this academic year.