Would you let your kids go to the park on a day off from school by themselves? R/O...

[AnnieW625]

So in a few weeks on a Monday I am doing my volunteer hours for our Catholic parish/school fair (cleanup) and the kids don’t have school so I am going to have the girls stay home alone (DD1 just turned 12 last week and DD2 is almost 8) and DD1 is excited and asked If she could take DD2 to the park (about 1000 ft. from our house) and I initially said okay and then about 30 seconds later I realized it isn’t a normal day off for our school district (with our home school across the street from the park) and that I didn’t want the sheriffs department or the local school police to think they are skipping school. I thought I could send them with a note to show the sheriff or the school police if they ask why they are not in school, but I just don’t know how these things are handled these days.

If they don’t go to the park they will just stay home and watch movies or play video games until I get home. Dd2 also is rarely up on a non school day before 9. I will be gone from 8 to 12 and will be 2/1/2 miles from home. My kids have been home by themselves when DH and I have had to run an errand are gone for no more than an hour. Dd1 doesn’t have a cell phone, just an iPod with texting, but we still have a land line.

Thanks!


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[doberbrat]

yes, I'd let my 12 & 8yo go to the playground for a bit alone. I'm assuming they wont be the only ones there? ie, they know your phone # and someone could call you if there is a problem? I think I'd have them text you when they're heading out and when they return.

I'd also check what the home alone policy is in your state. in mine, it'd be fine.

[georgiegirl]

If it’s a safe area and your DD has a cell phone (and brings it), I wouldn’t have a problem with it. Most likely there will be parents with younger kids there. If your older DD looks young, some other parents who see them alone might get worried.

[TwinFoxes]

I think it's 100% fine. My only hesitation would be "concerned" adults who decide to call the cops for no reason other than they don't agree with letting kids play by themselves. The note might be a good idea.

[JBaxter]

actually no. At that age ( oldest being 12) we have very specific rules. Don't leave the house don't get in the pool don't answer the phone except for Mom / Dad or other specific family members and don't answer the door. Its more relaxed now DS3 is 14 but at 12 they wouldn't have been allowed to be in charge of a younger sibling away from the house. We live in a gated community and I still wouldn't allow them to go up the street to the basket ball / tennis courts.

[trcy]

actually no. At that age ( oldest being 12) we have very specific rules. Don't leave the house don't get in the pool don't answer the phone except for Mom / Dad or other specific family members and don't answer the door. Its more relaxed now DS3 is 14 but at 12 they wouldn't have been allowed to be in charge of a younger sibling away from the house. We live in a gated community and I still wouldn't allow them to go up the street to the basket ball / tennis courts.

My DCs are a lot younger (7 & 2) so it’s hard for me to imagine them that much older. But my gut response when I read the OP was no. Glad to hear I am not alone in my feelings.


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[bisous]

I wouldn't allow that or feel comfortable with that. The issue is that there isn't anyone who can monitor them to make sure that they leave and return in a timely manner. I feel like a four hour window is too large to be safe at those ages. Also, i would be concerned about the fact that the other schools are not out. I think it is entirely possible that they would be alone at the park, versus if everyone else was on spring break and there were a lot of other parents and kids at the park. But admittedly I tend to fall on the more cautious end of the spectrum.

[essnce629]

Hmm, my DS1 is 14 and DS2 is 8 and I'd say no. My DS1 has babysit DS2 for up to an hour during the day while I run errands and for several hours at night once DS2 is in bed and DH and I are on a date night. BUT, my boys fight like crazy and I've come home to DS2 super angry and in tears because of them fighting when I'm only gone for 30 minutes at Trader Joe's 4 blocks away!!! I wouldn't trust DS2 to behave for DS1 for that many hours and out of the house. When DS2 gets mad at DS1 he tends to act out at him physically. But maybe your girls get along much better!?!? [emoji23]

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[jgenie]

No, at 12 I’m not sure DS1 could manage DS2 if he decided not to cooperate. DS1 spends lots of time trying to parent DS2 now and I spend a lot of time reminding him that we are the parents. It could be just fine or it could go bad very early on in the four hours.

[TwinFoxes]

It's interesting how we all perceive things differently. I assumed OP wouldn't have been okay with her older DD taking younger if she thought they'd fight the entire time. I also assumed that the kids would be told to call/text their mom when they left/arrived...I didn't think she'd have no clue where they were at any given time. I also figured they wouldn't get to the park at 8am, and certainly wouldn't stay for four hours. The situation in my head was after waking up and hanging out, older DD would text OP they were heading out, go across the street to the park with her sister, hang out for an hour or so, and then go back letting her mom know. I'm not saying everyone would be comfortable with this or anything, it's just what I had in mind when I answered. :)

Too bad you don't live in Utah, OP...they just passed a law protecting parents who let their kids play in parks/walk home by themselves/etc.

[JustMe]

I also wouldn't do it. I would do it if you were at home and could be there to monitor when they leave, when they come home, and get there quickly. However, IMHO, there is just too much that could go wrong to make this worth it. If your dd is really excited about being independent and doing something like this, I would do it when you are home. I just re-read your post and saw you are only 2.5 miles away. Thats' pretty close and I might lean closer to considering it, but still I would not do it when I had other responsibilities, such as volunteering, as I would just want to be able to be there and monitor without being distracted.

[PZMommy]

I'd be fine with them staying home alone, but I would not let them go to the park. My biggest fear would be if they fell and got hurt. It only takes a split second for something to happen. Plus these days there are too many busy bodies who may see two kids at the park by themselves and call the police. Just not worth that risk.

[123LuckyMom]

I also wouldn't do it. I would do it if you were at home and could be there to monitor when they leave, when they come home, and get there quickly. However, IMHO, there is just too much that could go wrong to make this worth it. If your dd is really excited about being independent and doing something like this, I would do it when you are home. I just re-read your post and saw you are only 2.5 miles away. Thats' pretty close and I might lean closer to considering it, but still I would not do it when I had other responsibilities, such as volunteering, as I would just want to be able to be there and monitor without being distracted.

This is where I am. I’d be fine with them staying home while you are a few miles away and easy to contact, and I’d be okay with them going to the park alone if you were home and so very close by, but I just don’t like the idea of them being at the park while you are not home. Even the 2.5 mile distance isn’t close enough for my taste. If something did happen, you’d have to get into your car and get to them, and that’s likely a 10 minute trip once you’ve hung up, moved through the building, gotten into the car, found your keys, fastened your seatbelt... it all takes longer than you’d think, even if the distance is really close. That it is a school day for most kids adds to my discomfort. Your kids are more likely to be noticed by a “concerned” adult, and the playground could be much emptier than usual, so they really might be alone, which could be a problem if there were some kind of injury or accident, even a minor one, which could seem bigger than it is to them at the time if they’re really alone. I wouldn’t risk it. Let the thrill of being home alone be enough this time, and go ahead and let them go to the park alone (with a cell phone) when you’re home. I think it’s a fair compromise.


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[California]

Do you know any of your neighbors? It could give you peace of mind if you ask a retiree or work-at-home parent if they would be willing to share their number with your kids on the rare chance there is an emergency, to cover until you get there. I've done that for other parents when I'm home over the summer and they have to leave a sick kid at home and pop into work.

Even if you don't have an emergency backup, if you are feeling inclined to let them go let them. You know your kids best. Maybe schedule it towards the end as a special treat for getting along all day. You'll be close to getting home, and it'll be closer to when school gets out so it won't look odd on the playground.

[belovedgandp]

I'd say yes. We too have a neighborhood park that's about 1/2 mile from the house. My kids go there frequently without me in varying ways from a young age. When they are super young we start out with them just running ahead or getting a 10 minute start, but by 12 and 8 they would go by themselves.

My only hesitation would be because the other area school's are not out. I can totally see the concern there. It would give me pause. That would depend on the personality of the 12 year old. If asked by an adult could she provide a reason and offer your phone number?

[m4nash]

I wouldn't do it. In my state it would be illegal to leave a 12 year old home alone with an 8 year old, so there is that aspect. I also have have a 12 year old, just turned 9 old and a 7 year old. Even if it were legal, I wouldn't feel comfortable with my 12 year old leaving the house/yard with my younger kids to go to a park if I was not home. I would let them go alone if I were at home though. I wouldn't be that concerned about the other schools being out. Surely there are homeschooled kids and other private school kids in your area who also wouldn't be in a classroom at that time.

[PunkyBoo]

I'd be fine with them staying home alone, but I would not let them go to the park. My biggest fear would be if they fell and got hurt. It only takes a split second for something to happen. Plus these days there are too many busy bodies who may see two kids at the park by themselves and call the police. Just not worth that risk.
ITA. My DS1 is 14 and DS2 is 9. I let them go to the park in our neighborhood alone just last week but I was home, DS1 had his phone with him and I warned them that he was 100% in charge. It stressed me out- DS1 is easy but DS2 has adhd and is a struggle for adults to "handle" sometimes. They were only gone about half hour. I wouldn't have let them do it when DS1 was 12 even with a cell phone. Heck, I wouldn't have left them home alone that long at that age for fear of them fighting, someone getting hurt, etc.

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[94bruin]

It's interesting how we all perceive things differently. I assumed OP wouldn't have been okay with her older DD taking younger if she thought they'd fight the entire time. I also assumed that the kids would be told to call/text their mom when they left/arrived...I didn't think she'd have no clue where they were at any given time. I also figured they wouldn't get to the park at 8am, and certainly wouldn't stay for four hours. The situation in my head was after waking up and hanging out, older DD would text OP they were heading out, go across the street to the park with her sister, hang out for an hour or so, and then go back letting her mom know. I'm not saying everyone would be comfortable with this or anything, it's just what I had in mind when I answered. :)

Too bad you don't live in Utah, OP...they just passed a law protecting parents who let their kids play in parks/walk home by themselves/etc.

In California, there is no law stating the minimum age for kids to be alone let alone letting kids walk to and from a park alone. My public school district sets the 3rd grade as when kids can start to bike to school on their own. I think it all depends on the kids and the community. I have two rule-abiding girls, they are 12 and 9 - similar to Annie's kids. I vaguely remember them going to the park on their own last summer. Yes, they stayed at home on their own while I was at work. Grandma did come to check on them for a few hours midday, though. So my answer is yes, lol.

[chottumommy]

We live in a very small college town so this may vary according to location. Our school lets anyone 1st and over walk back alone home and lots of kids do. My kids 9 and 6 go biking to a park 1/4 mile with their friends (no one has phones) and play for half hour and come back. I'm home when they go. They meet lots of people they know on the way and back and I usually get txts from people letting me know they saw them biking and they're safe.

As long as you know when they're gone and they have a phone I would be ok wit it.

[squimp]

My 14-yo babysits and so to me there's a big difference between 14 and 11.

In my state, I think you can be 10 to be left home alone, but I think it's older (12 or 13) to be responsible for a younger child.

You know your kids best, I would do what you are comfortable with. If they are home alone a lot, and are responsible, careful, know what to do in case of an emergency, then I would say yes. If you or they have any concerns, then I'd say no.

[TwinFoxes]

In California, there is no law stating the minimum age for kids to be alone let alone letting kids walk to and from a park alone. My public school district sets the 3rd grade as when kids can start to bike to school on their own. I think it all depends on the kids and the community. I have two rule-abiding girls, they are 12 and 9 - similar to Annie's kids. I vaguely remember them going to the park on their own last summer. Yes, they stayed at home on their own while I was at work. Grandma did come to check on them for a few hours midday, though. So my answer is yes, lol.

Regarding the bold, yes, I know...I was pointing out that Utah specifically protects parents now. OP wouldn't have to worry about random passersby calling the cops because they thought her DDs were too young.

I do wonder at what age people would be comfortable. 12 is starting to age out of parks from what I've seen...at 13 she may have zero interest in taking her younger sister to play in a park. I don't remember going to parks much in junior high (what most people call middle school.) Older DD may think she's too old for parks by the time some folks would let her go alone.

[squimp]

Regarding the bold, yes, I know...I was pointing out that Utah specifically protects parents now. OP wouldn't have to worry about random passersby calling the cops because they thought her DDs were too young.

I do wonder at what age people would be comfortable. 12 is starting to age out of parks from what I've seen...at 13 she may have zero interest in taking her younger sister to play in a park. I don't remember going to parks much in junior high (what most people call middle school.) Older DD may think she's too old for parks by the time some folks would let her go alone.

To me the issue is not the middle schooler, it's the younger sibling at 7, and when older siblings can and should be totally responsible for them. My 14-yo would happily take the kids she babysits to the park.

[Gracemom]

In my neighborhood it would not be a problem. My son and a friend started walking to the park on their own at 10, and most kids are there alone at that age. There is also a security camera there, which makes me feel better. If your kids are mature then I say go for it.

[bisous]

To me the issue is not the middle schooler, it's the younger sibling at 7, and when older siblings can and should be totally responsible for them. My 14-yo would happily take the kids she babysits to the park.

I agree with this.

[JBaxter]

In California, there is no law stating the minimum age for kids to be alone let alone letting kids walk to and from a park alone. My public school district sets the 3rd grade as when kids can start to bike to school on their own. I think it all depends on the kids and the community. I have two rule-abiding girls, they are 12 and 9 - similar to Annie's kids. I vaguely remember them going to the park on their own last summer. Yes, they stayed at home on their own while I was at work. Grandma did come to check on them for a few hours midday, though. So my answer is yes, lol.
Just because you CAN doesn't mean you should. The 12 yr old had no phone ( yes that's a biggie ) if something happens crap could hit the fan.

[Kindra178]

My issue is only that op will not be home. If op was home, it would be a great idea.


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[citymama]

I don't think I would if there's no adult at home or within easy access. That said, I wouldn't leave my 12 and 8 year olds (my kids are same ages and genders) alone at home for the day (for multiple reasons mostly relating to their personalities, not safety). I'm wondering if you could ask another parent whose kids will be home that same day if they'd be willing to do a playdate in the park - just to make sure there are multiple kids, maybe one adult around in case there's a need.

[sasha]

My town has a daytime curfew to cut down on wandering truant kids. Obviously your kids would not be truant, but that isn't easy to tell on sight. For my kids, I'd factor in whether or not they could comfortably explain that to a police officer.

[94bruin]

Just curious- are you more worried about how they might be perceived by other adults or law enforcement or if there might be some emergency? I doesn't come across that you're worried about some emergency but more the first scenario. If so, maybe you could call the local PD and see if there is any sort of issue with the girls being at the park by themselves. I think having the girls carry a note with your phone number is a great idea. If it's more the second scenario, maybe run through some emergency situations so they can know how to act. Is the park surrounded by other homes? Is it busy during the time your kids would be there? Would they be comfortable asking others for help? In my mind, the biggest issue would be is if one of the kids got hurt. Only you know your kids and how they would handle such situations. My kids would be fine. Some of my friends' kids - no way!

[craftysierra]

My younger three (12, 10, & 9) took themselves to the park yesterday in our neighborhood. My rule is ok to go by themselves while I am home but not if I am away. The youngest was being a pill at the park and the older two raced home and left her at the park. She decided she did not want to walk home alone so she waited till I came for her... Not how I thought my kids would behave... I would not let them go if I was not home.

Sierra

[AnnieW625]

Thanks for all of the opinions. I am leaning towards no.

Dd1 still enjoys going to the park, and her and Dd2 seem to get along when they go. I usually go along with them. Dd1 is the one who suggested it because she knows how much Dd2 likes the park.

I could have DH’s aunt come over as well and I haven’t ruled that out as she said she could help out that AM if I need her to. I do think Dd1 wants to feel like an adult and stay home.

I am more worried about them being singled out for being truant and yes I am worried about some crazy people calling the cops or cps. People sometimes don’t know where to draw the line. Our local crime FB page is full of some of these people who have too much time on their hands and report every person walking down the street on the FB feed (a person walking down the street wearing a hoodie and not walking dog or someone riding a bike down the street wearing a hoodie and riding without hands...) that looks just a little out of place that their home security cameras.

In regards to the cell phone DH is still under the impression she doesn’t need one...it would only be an additional $21 per month to add her on to our cell plan, but yeah just not something he really wants her to have yet.

ETA: if the local public school was out of school I wouldn’t think twice because the park is always full of families when there is no school. There are some home school groups who meet there as well, but I don’t know there schedule.



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