Does your teen do this? Food related

[firstbaby]

I'm looking for commiseration and advice on several sub-topics. DS is 14 and is super active - plays sports 5 days a week for at least a couple of hours each day. He's got a lean build and I know he's growing. He eats a hot breakfast of eggs or oatmeal every day before school and has a full lunch (sometimes will buy a double lunch) at school. When he gets home he's starving...and then the fun begins. Two or three granola bars after declining a plate of pepperoni and cheese cubes or leftover chicken salad, will microwave a frozen meal and then leave it half eaten while helping himself to chips 30 minutes later. He thinks nothing of putting the milk back in the fridge with one sip left, decimates the entire carton of blueberries and will leave 5 blueberries in the carton sitting on the counter. He will open the last sparkling water, take a sip and leave it...and refuse to drink the rest an hour later. Some of this I know is "typical" self-absorbed teen behavior. It's frustrating when I will buy a box of granola bars for the family and he eats 8 out of 10 before anyone else can have one. I don't want him to feel like he can't eat or has to forage but it's getting ridiculous. When I went to the store this week, I bought a case of 12 yogurts. I had all three kids initial 4 of the containers so that each kid would get the same number. DS14 was not happy and thought I was taking it too far. How do you feed your teen boy and how do you bring self-awareness to them that you don't restock the fridge and pantry for them alone while reassuring them there is plenty of food? It may not be the buffet of snacks that they want, but there are better choices and they can't consume 80% of the foods they want because they are 1/5 of the family. But then I feel like I am limiting his food - which is not what I am trying to do, but just trying to have the same foods available to everyone. There are also times I buy something specific for a recipe but it gets eaten before I make the recipe I bought the item for. How do you handle that? TIA.

[sariana]

He may be 1/5 of the family, but that doesn't mean he needs only 1/5 of the family's food allotment. An active 14-year-old boy needs lots of food. The other members of the family have different needs. Dividing the yogurt equally may indeed be "unfair" to him because his needs are different.

I understand the frustration of keeping food stocked. He definitely needs to follow rules about which foods are off limits (needed for recipes or whatever). Perhaps he could help with the shopping?

It sounds as though he's making reasonably good choices from the options available to him (not gorging on candy, for example). He simply needs more food.

ETA: sorry, I isn't address the point about leaving foods behind and being inconsiderate. I do think that is probably "teenage boy syndrome," but that doesn't make it okay. We have similar issues with our kids taking more than they need and then not finishing it. I think maybe working with him on a plan to ensure that he is able to find enough food when he needs it might help him to plan better. And have storage containers ready to hand him to take care of his leftovers.

[mom2binsd]

I hear you! I have a very active freshman girl! I came home this morning to make a smoothie, and the entire box of strawberries was gone, luckily I had blackberries and blueberries- she ate the box last night after I went to bed. I HATE when she leaves something half eaten, usually it's a drink, and then she won't finish it. She is getting better at asking if she sees something that she thinks might be for a specific meal, and I hate to quash good eating habits.

It's a process. I like your idea of writing on the containers.

I try to involve both kids in grocery shopping and meal planning.

I love that she has a huge appetite, she also eats late, and is terrible about putting dirty dishes away, I have resorted to taking pictures of her mess and texting her.

Last night, after asking for the nine one trillionth time for her not to leave her sneakers in a specific spot that is in the way, I threw them onto the front lawn. She wasn't happy but I think it got my point across.

[SnuggleBuggles]

He may be 1/5 of the family, but that doesn't mean he needs only 1/5 of the family's food allotment. An active 14-year-old boy needs lots of food. The other members of the family have different needs. Dividing the yogurt equally may indeed be "unfair" to him because his needs are different.

I understand the frustration of keeping food stocked. He definitely needs to follow rules about which foods are off limits (needed for recipes or whatever). Perhaps he could help with the shopping?

It sounds as though he's making reasonably good choices from the options available to him (not gorging on candy, for example). He simply needs more food.

ETA: sorry, I isn't address the point about leaving foods behind and being inconsiderate. I do think that is probably "teenage boy syndrome," but that doesn't make it okay. We have similar issues with our kids taking more than they need and then not finishing it. I think maybe working with him on a plan to ensure that he is able to find enough food when he needs it might help him to plan better. And have storage containers ready to hand him to take care of his leftovers.

:yeahthat:

I think you just need to buy more food. That's where I am now. I reach for one box of granola bars but buy 3 instead- and they all get eaten quickly by ds1. I do buy a specific kind just for ds2 and had to tell him those were off limits.

[Green_Tea]

I think you need to buy more food! He’s clearly hungry and seems to be making decent food choices. I wouldn’t be limiting what he can eat - he just needs more than his siblings at the moment. The lazy behaviors are typical of teens - I’d ride him about cleaning up. But the food consumption is not something I would try to limit or give him a hard time about.

[khm]

I agree on the "he needs more food" front, but at the same time, he can't eat 3 granola bars in one sitting. That type of stuff drives me bonkers. If one granola bar isn't enough, then have something ELSE with a granola bar, not 2 more granola bars. I kinda stopped buying them because my kids do the same. I think they just aren't a very filling snack, so they'd mindlessly grab another and another. Nope, get something else!!

Stress to him to add variety and probably some protein heavy snacks, not just quantity of the same carby thing.

[amyx4]

A couple of things that have worked for us...

In the pantry, I have a shelf of "travelling food". That's food that pack you in your bag to take out of the house for school, sports, etc. Granola bars are a "travelling food", so they are not eaten at home as a snack.

My teens refer to afternoon snack as "second lunch" and a bedtime snack is now called "second dinner" For a while I kept a list of foods on the frig that were suggestions for "2nd lunch & 2nd dinner" Not to regulate but to gently nudge in the right direction towards foods that will fuel their bodies during a growth spurt. (it said stuff like: make eggs, make a smoothie, cut carrots to dip in hummus, make a grill cheese, make oatmeal add frozen blueberries etc. I saw it as a nudge towards cooking for themselves)

Big sigh, yes, labeling of food happens here....mostly the teens do it themselves for junkfood. Currently there's a package of Oreos with a giant 7 written on the package. Indicating that each teen gets 7 Oreos. One of them wrote that, not me! They each have a spot in the pantry for their junk food. ( I don't buy junk food but if they're out and bring it home that's were it goes and they're pretty respectful of each others stash of junk)

[firstbaby]

Thanks for the advice and commiseration so far. Just to clarify, there is PLENTY of food in the house. My frustration is when he wants to eat three granola bars but won't consider leftover lasagna, for instance. So I try to offer more substantial foods but he's more intent on inhaling things that come out of wrappers. It's not working for him because it's not the best fuel for all the activities he's doing and it doesn't keep him full for more than 20 minutes.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Thanks for the advice and commiseration so far. Just to clarify, there is PLENTY of food in the house. My frustration is when he wants to eat three granola bars but won't consider leftover lasagna, for instance. So I try to offer more substantial foods but he's more intent on inhaling things that come out of wrappers. It's not working for him because it's not the best fuel for all the activities he's doing and it doesn't keep him full for more than 20 minutes.

Mine won't eat leftovers. Super annoying. I always keep sandwich stuff on hand and a fully stocked freezer of things we've discovered he'll eat. You just need to keep trying to find the best balance.

[bisous]

Thanks for the advice and commiseration so far. Just to clarify, there is PLENTY of food in the house. My frustration is when he wants to eat three granola bars but won't consider leftover lasagna, for instance. So I try to offer more substantial foods but he's more intent on inhaling things that come out of wrappers. It's not working for him because it's not the best fuel for all the activities he's doing and it doesn't keep him full for more than 20 minutes.

OK. There is so much that I relate to in your posts! I have a 14yo, first of all, that eats me out of house and home. But *I* was also the kid that reached for granola bars instead of lasagna. I can relate to where he is coming from. That said, I do wish someone really taught me how to eat to fill myself up better. And my parents probably tried. But I think it couldn't hurt to educate about eating balanced meals with plenty of protein, healthy fats, and carbs to fill yourself up. For that reason, I think it is okay to limit things like granola bars. It will probably take a ridiculous amount of repetition and enforcement but I think you'll be doing him a great service to teach him how to feel full, how to get the satisfaction that he needs from food. He may be thin now but down the line these are the kinds of habits that lead to unhealthy weight gain in later adulthood--or at least that was the case for me.

I think he needs rules but also just really patiently explaining that sometimes it takes a few more minutes to make/heat food that needs some preparation but will keep him full and satisfied. That's what I'm striving to do with my 14yo and what I wish I had learned myself. I did see my half-brother (who was brought up with my Dad and Stepmom) really learn that skill well. They have good habits established and it has served them very well.

Good luck!

[cheme]

I definitely limit some things. Like pp said, we have some snacks that are only to take places, including most prepackaged food even if it's healthy (granola bars, trail mix, even individual yogurt cups). Then, there is the food they always have access to which is all healthy choices - leftovers, large yogurt container (they use to make smoothies, or just add fruit to it), fruit and vegetables, hummus, eggs, sandwich supplies, freezer items. All unhealthy choices are limited, there usually aren't many around, but if there are, they all know that I may have bought it for a specific reason and ask before they have it.


I'd also be very frustrated by the starting to eat something then not finishing it and wanting to throw it out. It will be hard to change the rules though, just lots of reminders.

[squimp]

I feel your pain, although my DD generally loves leftovers. Like cheme, I tend to have pre-packaged foods only for taking places. I would honestly restrict the granola bars and other processed stuff, and really push the real food. It is hard but it sounds like more of a tweak than a complete re-adjustment.

[petesgirl]

I agree on the "he needs more food" front, but at the same time, he can't eat 3 granola bars in one sitting. That type of stuff drives me bonkers. If one granola bar isn't enough, then have something ELSE with a granola bar, not 2 more granola bars. I kinda stopped buying them because my kids do the same. I think they just aren't a very filling snack, so they'd mindlessly grab another and another. Nope, get something else!!

Stress to him to add variety and probably some protein heavy snacks, not just quantity of the same carby thing.

I dont have teenagers, but agree with this. He can have one of his yogurts + another food. Or he can eat all 3 in one sitting and then have something entirelg different next time. OP is not saying he cant eat, she did offer other healthy and filling foods. If there are plenty of other choices for him to eat that he likes i think its perfectly fair to label things.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I dont have teenagers, but agree with this. He can have one of his yogurts + another food. Or he can eat all 3 in one sitting and then have something entirelg different next time. OP is not saying he cant eat, she did offer other healthy and filling foods. If there are plenty of other choices for him to eat that he likes i think its perfectly fair to label things.

But at some point, it just becomes clear that they need more food. Serving sizes just grow. If he routinely wants and eats 2 yogurts in a sitting, then that is the new normal. :)

[DualvansMommy]

But at some point, it just becomes clear that they need more food. Serving sizes just grow. If he routinely wants and eats 2 yogurts in a sitting, then that is the new normal. :)

Yes! Not quite relevant to OP with my kids younger ages. But DS1 used to be content with just one cup of applesauce, nuts and goldfish. But now his appetite really grew where he’s just eating more servings of 2/3 snacks at any given time now.

More servings/food is the way to go. What you have on hand sounds great to me, I think it’s just a situation of buying more boxes/case vs one being sufficient.


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[robinsmommy]

The waste would really get to me. There are some great movies out there now about food waste, even on Youtube. Maybe worth a look.

Yes, he needs more food. But I agree it needs to be healthy, filling food - and granola bars aren't it. We also label any bars as "out" food, to be saved for when you cannot eat at home. The labeling seems like the fairest way to me - we have done similar things to end arguments, esp about chocolate brought back from Belgium!

Is he maybe getting hungry in the afternoons? Early lunch schedules can make that happen. Can he have a healthy snack at school?

[Pear]

I would designate an off limits spot in the fridge to protect meal ingredients. Beyond that you can set weekly limits on key items so everyone gets their share. At our house that was always Ice cream drumsticks and soda. Beyond that, I highly recommend grocery delivery for at least the non-produce items.

[bisous]

But at some point, it just becomes clear that they need more food. Serving sizes just grow. If he routinely wants and eats 2 yogurts in a sitting, then that is the new normal. :)

I don’t really agree with this logic though. A family can decide that they don’t want to buy that much yogurt and then there are dozens of alternatives to yogurt that can be considered both healthy and tasty. Kids can adapt to that

[SnuggleBuggles]

I don’t really agree with this logic though. A family can decide that they don’t want to buy that much yogurt and then there are dozens of alternatives to yogurt that can be considered both healthy and tasty. Kids can adapt to that

Of course. But, I just find it works to buy food I know my kids will eat and buy the amount that works for us. I’m sure op can find the right balance. A well stocked pantry/ fridge that can accommodate a new appetite is reasonable though.


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[frugalmom]

A couple of things that have worked for us...

In the pantry, I have a shelf of "travelling food". That's food that pack you in your bag to take out of the house for school, sports, etc. Granola bars are a "travelling food", so they are not eaten at home as a snack.

My teens refer to afternoon snack as "second lunch" and a bedtime snack is now called "second dinner" For a while I kept a list of foods on the frig that were suggestions for "2nd lunch & 2nd dinner" Not to regulate but to gently nudge in the right direction towards foods that will fuel their bodies during a growth spurt. (it said stuff like: make eggs, make a smoothie, cut carrots to dip in hummus, make a grill cheese, make oatmeal add frozen blueberries etc. I saw it as a nudge towards cooking for themselves)

Big sigh, yes, labeling of food happens here....mostly the teens do it themselves for junkfood. Currently there's a package of Oreos with a giant 7 written on the package. Indicating that each teen gets 7 Oreos. One of them wrote that, not me! They each have a spot in the pantry for their junk food. ( I don't buy junk food but if they're out and bring it home that's were it goes and they're pretty respectful of each others stash of junk)

That is such a great idea. Stealing it! Thank you.

We do the traveling food too.

[niccig]

I agree that his serving size has grown. DS is 23 and can eat more than me. We regularly eat out with friends who have 2 girls same age. DS is eating adult portion and their girls want to still order off kids menu.


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[JustMe]

My kids, especially dd who is 15, have always been huge eaters. Its amazing how much dd can eat (often eats 3 servings at dinner). The serving size isn't the issue for me. She will just eat so much of anything that has sugar in it, that there is almost nothing left for anyone else. She does not follow rules about this at all, so I am at the point when I am very careful about what snack items I buy.

I am glad to see my kids are not the only ones who leave empty containers--or practically empty containers--in the fridge and cabinets. This drives me nuts!

[citymama]

I have a 12 yr old girl like this! We do try and put some clear markers around snacks for school (packaged snacks) versus home snacks (crackers/cheese, fruit, hummus/carrots) so that she isn't doing things like wolfing down 4 granola bars right before dinner. But she rarely follows these guidelines without parental oversight, and will gladly finish the last of everything in sight if not reined in. We try and stay well-stocked on healthy foods, and I find she really needs an actual hot meal soon after returning from school + track or school + play rehearsal. Having leftovers that can be reheated at 5 pm rather than waiting till we cook and serve dinner at 7 makes a huge difference. But yeah, she's hungry about every 30 minutes! The irony is her younger sister has to be coaxed to eat anything at all, certainly anything with protein and fat, so we have a crazy imbalance most of the time...

[schrocat]

Granola bars are off limits at home. They are snack food for school and swim meets. The kids have cereal, grilled chicken etc to choose from. Also maybe he needs his own big container of yogurt to scoop from instead of the individual servings? You can write his name on it and he doesn't get to open a new yogurt unless he's finished it all.

[div_0305]

That's really great that he loves yogurt and blueberries so much. I would take him shopping or ask him what he wants stocked in the house, and if it's yogurt, then lots of it, but maybe not the kind loaded with sugar and any artificial or even added "natural flavors" which play games with your tastebuds and make you want more. Also, ask him what high protein/good fat items he prefers--these are what satiate a hungry, growing, teenager. Their calorie needs can be immense during growth spurts, and only quality protein and fats will keep them full. Everyone needs junk food though, so I imagine he reaches for chips when craving salt. We don't limit anything in our home, but I avoid anything with artificial flavors and try hard to not buy stuff with "natural flavors" either. It's hard because even my favorite quick oatmeal now has "natural flavors" added. As for the other stuff about leaving food out, it's been a struggle since DS was little. He'll go a couple days putting everything away, and then slide back.

[american_mama]

I think some of this is common. DH says that there was a lot of food competition in his household when he and his brother were teens, playing sports, and there really wasn't quite enough food in the house. So some of it is a teen phase of growing.

DD1, aged 16, used to eat way more when she was 12-14 then she does now. It is not self-consciousness. SHe is just not as hungry and comments on it several times.

My DS is 10. He hates it when his older sisters consume all the food. But marking what is for him and having it protected would make him happy even if it is not the same quantity as what is for others. So in your yogurt example, younger sibs can get their share marked (whatever you determine their share to be) and the rest is up for grabs, but it does not have to be equal.

For ingredients for dinner, this is happens to me, especially for snacky ingredients like cheese, tortillas, cubed or sliced ham. If I tell my family verbally, they leave it alone. But the best practice is to put it in a grocery bag in the refrigerator and.or cupboard and label it. Maybe you can modify that.

I hate wasting food, so I would be nagging about the unfinished items. There might be a better way, but one way or another, I would not let the wastefulness slide, plus the cleaning up after oneself.

Also, we are not the healthiest eaters in our family, so no advice from me, but his choices sound carb heavy and snack-y to me, and that maybe he needs some snacks with more protein and crunch that takes some effort to eat. I stopped buying granola bars because they were eaten too quickly and the bars kept shrinking in size. Maybe you can think about healthier quick food to buy, or if there are healthy foods you want to prep for your son (like boiled eggs or hummus, quartered apples, sliced watermelon). Or if you think it will work for him to prep those snacks for himself. My DD2 is 13 and has started doing this, on her own, lucky me.

[TwinFoxes]

Is it possible he's also thirsty? I do agree that he's probably hungry (my older brother could eat an amazing amount of food as a teen, whole pizzas!) but I remember reading that often times kids don't drink enough and their need for water is interpreted as hunger. Just a thought. :)