How do you interpret pickup times that are in a range?

[american_mama]

If you are picking up your child from an event, how do you interpret pickup times that are given as a range? Do you arrive at the beginning of the range, the middle, or the end? I am thinking of events that are out-of-town, so departure and traffic issues make the pickup time somewhat vague, or events that have an unclear ending time so the pickup time is somewhat vague. This is quite common for my middle and high school kids for out-of-town trips with school, music groups, Girl Scouts, etc.

If the organizers or your child call/text when they depart and are facing a fairly long drive time for your area, do you wait for that call/text before you get in the car to get to the pickup spot?

Last night, I was the organizer in that situation and incurred the wrath of an unhappy parent. I originally said we'd return at 10 pm, then changed that to 9:30-9:45 before the event started. Our event was a nature event 35+ minutes outside of town on country roads. I sent a text at 9:15 updating our return time. I was surprised that a parent arrived at 9:30 for pickup and was very irritated that we came back later.

As a parent, if I arrived at 9:30 in that situation, I would know that there is a good chance that I would wait until 9:45. Because the return time is already a range, I might think they might not make 9:45 either, maybe 9:50 is in the mix too. I would also probably not leave at all until I got the text/call from the organizer. But this parent interpreted it all differently, left his house before my text/call, continued onwared even when he got the 9:15 text, and arrived at the pickup at 9:30 and had to wait. It really ended a fun night on a bad note for everyone.

[dhano923]

What time did you actually return at?

As a parent, I’d be annoyed if you originally told me to pick my child up at 10pm and then changed it to 9:30 just 45 minutes before I’m supposed to pick my child up. Not everyone checks their texts as soon as they come through. Plus people run errands, go to dinner, catch a movie, etc while their kids are out, so now you’ve changed the timetable for that too. And I would be more annoyed if you moved the time up and then didn’t come back at the new time you sent out. For a range, it depends on the time and venue, but for a late night event in the country, I’d be there at the beginning of the quoted range. For a birthday party at a restaurant, I’d show up mid range.

The better thing to do would have been to text everyone that you were expecting to come back a few minutes earlier than expected, but you would be staying with the kids who couldn’t be picked up until 10pm.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I arrive at the beginning of the range...and bring a book. :)
Nowadays I check Find My Iphone to see where ds is to time my departure


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[specialp]

I originally said we'd return at 10 pm, then changed that to 9:30-9:45 before the event started. Our event was a nature event 35+ minutes outside of town on country roads. I sent a text at 9:15 updating our return time. I was surprised that a parent arrived at 9:30 for pickup and was very irritated that we came back later.
.

Did you send 2 update texts? One before the event started changing it to 9:30-9:45 and then a second one at 915? If so, what did the update say? And what time did you return?

I pick up my neighbor's teenagers from out-of-town event often and I alway arrive at the beginning of the range. I expect to wait, but do expect them to be there within the range given.

[dogmom]

So being a Girl Scout leader I have NEVER had someone yell at me for a 15 min difference. They are usually so thankful I took their kid.

If I’m interpreting your post correctly the original communication was pick up at 10 pm, the day of the event it was changed to 9:30-9:45. At 9:15 you sent a text to the effect of we are on the road and will be there at the later end. Am I correct?
Then some berates you for being there at 9:45?

I’d just right that off to 1) someone had a bad day and probably is ashamed they acted like a jerk or 2) they are always a jerk. Nothing to do with you. If my small Girl Scout troop decides some needs to use the BR at the last minute it can lead to a 15 min delay for long trips! I do expect to stay and wait for pickups if traffic is light and we make better time than expected and get there early. But in general you are “wasting” a heck of a lot more of your adult time going on these trips than the stay behind parents are.

[trcy]

From what I gather from your OP, you said you’d be arriving between 9:30 and 9:45. As a parent, I would interpret that to mean the earliest you expected arrive was at 9:30 and the latest was 9:45. I would try to get there at 9:30, knowing I may need to wait 15 minutes. I think the parent that yelled at you was totally out of line.


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[JBaxter]

I always arrive at the earliest time stated ALWAYS. I'll hang out if they aren't done but as a kid I was always the last one picked up by my parents so I made it a point not to do that to my kids.

[essnce629]

I arrive at the beginning of the range and because I know LA traffic I know that I may end up even waiting past the range time! This has happened with my kids' Friday field trips with camp when they go to big amusement parks, etc and Friday traffic is always horrible.

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[nfceagles]

Yes, I’m curious of the second text and your final actual arrival time, but regardless I think this parent was way out of line. I’ve got no patience for people who complain about VOLUNTEERS. I’d be tempted to say something like, “Well next time you can spend X hours preparing for the event and Y hours attending the event, so that you won’t be subject to this 15 minute variation.”


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[TwinFoxes]

Yes, I’m curious of the second text and your final actual arrival time, but regardless I think this parent was way out of line. I’ve got no patience for people who complain about VOLUNTEERS. I’d be tempted to say something like, “Well next time you can spend X hours preparing for the event and Y hours attending the event, so that you won’t be subject to this 15 minute variation.”


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:yeahthat: Why do people have to get irate over one thing? It's not like it's an ongoing issue.

[petesgirl]

:yeahthat: Why do people have to get irate over one thing? It's not like it's an ongoing issue.

And it definitely wasn't purposeful. OP, it's not you-it's him.

[BunnyBee]

If you were really late because of some personal errand, I would be annoyed. How does that person get through a basic day to day existence if that type of thing causes him/her to grouch at a VOLUNTEER.

I would arrive at the early end of the range (or before, if I didn't have to deal with DH and my other slow children, ha) so as not to inconvenience the nice person who drove my child somewhere. I usually have a book in the car or my phone to entertain me.

[niccig]

I always arrive at the earliest time stated ALWAYS. I'll hang out if they aren't done but as a kid I was always the last one picked up by my parents so I made it a point not to do that to my kids.

I do the same for the same reason.


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[american_mama]

If I’m interpreting your post correctly the original communication was pick up at 10 pm, the day of the event it was changed to 9:30-9:45. At 9:15 you sent a text to the effect of we are on the road and will be there at the later end. Am I correct?

That is correct. But the drive turned out to be 40 minutes, not the 35 minutes my GPS said when I'd checked it earlier. So my text at 9:15 said "leaving now, drive is actually 40 minutes, we'll be back at 9:55." Then I made two wrong turns on the country roads. When I finally knew where I was and there would be no more wrong turns, it was 9:55 and I had my daughter text (because I was driving) "made some wrong turns, arriving in 10 minutes" which we did. So 10:05 arrival.

That's a long time past the anticipated return time of 9:30 before the event started and past the ETA of 9:55 that I texted at the end of the event. That's irritating for parents. But I didn't know I'd got lost twice or that the GPA drive time would be different. To me, that warrants some understanding.

[♥ms.pacman♥]

Yes, I’m curious of the second text and your final actual arrival time, but regardless I think this parent was way out of line. I’ve got no patience for people who complain about VOLUNTEERS. I’d be tempted to say something like, “Well next time you can spend X hours preparing for the event and Y hours attending the event, so that you won’t be subject to this 15 minute variation.”


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:yeahthat:

I honestly can’t believe the gall of that parent to complain for waiting for 30min. I would have been tempted to say something like the above too, to get the point across that u are volunteering, things like traffic etc are unpredictable and they need to chill out. If waiting for 15-30 min for their kid drives them over the edge enough to ruin everyone else’s night, then sounds like they have other issues. Indeed, sounds like that other parent had a bad day and was taking it out on you. I wouldn’t worry further.

[jgenie]

That is correct. But the drive turned out to be 40 minutes, not the 35 minutes my GPS said when I'd checked it earlier. So my text at 9:15 said "leaving now, drive is actually 40 minutes, we'll be back at 9:55." Then I made two wrong turns on the country roads. When I finally knew where I was and there would be no more wrong turns, it was 9:55 and I had my daughter text (because I was driving) "made some wrong turns, arriving in 10 minutes" which we did. So 10:05 arrival.

That's a long time past the anticipated return time of 9:30 before the event started and past the ETA of 9:55 that I texted at the end of the event. That's irritating for parents. But I didn't know I'd got lost twice or that the GPA drive time would be different. To me, that warrants some understanding.

I think life happens and you have to roll with the punches. You didn’t arrive late because you decided to do a personal errand on the way home. You updated as best as you could and you arrived safely. The other parent was out of line.

[Pear]

I understand that for some events end times just aren’t fixed. I always plan to be available for a large window, arrive to the pickup spot early once notified, and bring something to entertain myself.

It is a perk to not have to attend every child activity. It isn’t babysitting. The least I can do is make it easy on the people who are in charge that particular evening.

[specialp]

That is correct. But the drive turned out to be 40 minutes, not the 35 minutes my GPS said when I'd checked it earlier. So my text at 9:15 said "leaving now, drive is actually 40 minutes, we'll be back at 9:55." Then I made two wrong turns on the country roads. When I finally knew where I was and there would be no more wrong turns, it was 9:55 and I had my daughter text (because I was driving) "made some wrong turns, arriving in 10 minutes" which we did. So 10:05 arrival.

That's a long time past the anticipated return time of 9:30 before the event started and past the ETA of 9:55 that I texted at the end of the event. That's irritating for parents. But I didn't know I'd got lost twice or that the GPA drive time would be different. To me, that warrants some understanding.

I would've been worried if past 10 and I had no idea why, but you were keeping them in the loop on what was going on. Not appropriate of anyone to yell at you. I would've been too shocked to have responded with any quick comeback.

[123LuckyMom]

Honestly, I’d be really irritated with having a 10pm arrival time moved back to 9:30pm and then have you actually show up later than 10pm. It would be the correction and then the fact that the correction was wrong that would irk me, because I might have skipped a movie or changed plans believing the arrival time would now be early. It’s always better to just set the plan and honor it to the best of your ability. If you get back earlier than expected, you can keep the kids entertained on the bus until the parents get there. If you had done that, the parents wouldn’t have had to change any plans, and they would have had a 5 minute wait. Next time, choose a plan and stick to it if at all possible, and only text if you plan to be late so nobody worries. It’s the changing things around that causes the irritation, especially when you then arrived even later than the originally set time.

Having said that, I don’t care if, as a parent, I had to wait hours for you to get there. Yelling is completely unacceptable!!! You are a volunteer, and all I should have for you is gratitude. Even if I were irritated (and I probably would be), I would thank you for taking my child on the trip and keeping her safe, and I’d mean it. The angry parent wasn’t unreasonable for being irked, but he was wrong to express it to you so rudely!


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[nfceagles]

A 10:05 arrival doesn’t change my opinion at all. His reaction was ridiculous.


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[specialp]

Honestly, I’d be really irritated with having a 10pm arrival time moved back to 9:30pm and then have you actually show up later than 10pm. It would be the correction and then the fact that the correction was wrong that would irk me, because I might have skipped a movie or changed plans believing the arrival time would now be early. It’s always better to just set the plan and honor it to the best of your ability. If you get back earlier than expected, you can keep the kids entertained on the bus until the parents get there. If you had done that, the parents wouldn’t have had to change any plans, and they would have had a 5 minute wait. Next time, choose a plan and stick to it if at all possible, and only text if you plan to be late so nobody worries. It’s the changing things around that causes the irritation, especially when you then arrived even later than the originally set time.

Having said that, I don’t care if, as a parent, I had to wait hours for you to get there. Yelling is completely unacceptable!!! You are a volunteer, and all I should have for you is gratitude. Even if I were irritated (and I probably would be), I would thank you for taking my child on the trip and keeping her safe, and I’d mean it. The angry parent wasn’t unreasonable for being irked, but he was wrong to express it to you so rudely!


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Again, not appropriate to yell about it and the parent was out of line. In the interest of future events, I do agree with this. The original question was how to interpret a range and about how the irate parent interpreted it wrong by showing up on the low end. I don’t think the parent was irate at a 9:45 arrival instead of a 9:30. It was the changing around several times, including before the event even started before there were issues, and then being neither 9:30-9:45, but 20 minutes after the fact.

I wouldn’t send an update before the event started, but given it was country roads (which is out of my element and would make me nervous as a parent) I would send a “We’re leaving now; GPS estimates 40 minute drive” one time and then a follow up once something caused you to be late. I can’t say that would’ve made the parent less irritated because some people just look for reasons, but it would’ve made me less irritated.

As far as waiting to get a text, I don’t know that I would once I got your original text (before event started). I guess I would think that’s what I should count on. If I’ve already left and get an updated text pushing the time back 10 minutes, I’m probably going to continue on.

[SnuggleBuggles]

The parent(s) was out of line. But, it does sound like you should have left for Home sooner. You never had a chance of making your window. Was there a reason you left too late to make your planned window? But, truly, I’ve sat waiting for much, much longer and that’s just how it is. I never would have said anything to you. I might have grumbled in my car but that’s about it. :)


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[american_mama]

You never had a chance of making your window. Was there a reason you left too late to make your planned window?

Kind of. The event was supposed to end with a campfire and smores by the nature guides. Towards the end, the organizers mentioned that the campfire was canceled because of high winds, but they would serve raw smores (which the girls all wanted). We waited around, but they never did anything, perhaps busy with other guests and eventually, we just left.

[Globetrotter]

Through the years, I’ve usually been on the side of the chaperone. People should be grateful that others are volunteering to drive their kids around so they don’t have to. I don’t have much patience for complainers, however I can see how they might be irritated. Personally, I would never complain to someone who took time out of their day to drive my kid into the wilderness all day tournament or whatever the case may be :-)
Usually we give a one hour timeframe and text when we are about 15 to 20 minutes away. The Further away, the more the chance for variation. If there is a major delay, we would send out a text to let people know. If I say we will drop off between 6 to 7, people need to expect anywhere from six onwards. If I get back early, at 5:30, then I’ll just hang onto the kids until the parents can come.

Honestly, in the groups that I have been involved with I’ve usually offered to drop people off at their homes to avoid this issue and also to avoid having to wait for parents. I Find it easier to do this, but that’s me. But those are groups where I have a leadership position and I want to make it easy for the parents so others will participate. If it’s something like a school field trip where We have nothing at stake, then it really depends on the situation and How close I am to the other parents. If it’s a friend, I will almost always drop them at home Unless I’m in a real hurry.

[Percycat]

Sorry you had a disappointing parent experience. When my troop goes on an outing, we let parents know our plans/location and give a general time of when we think we will be leaving the activity. I have girls call/text parents on the way home. My girls are in 7th grade; when they were younger, my co-leader would make the call as I drove. We usually have the girls get picked up at my house because there are times when parents arrive late to pickup and this way we can wait for parents at home.