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ged
09-05-2018, 12:00 PM
I prefer that my 13 y.o. DD continue to get a good amount of sleep but maybe my expectation needs to be adjusted. How many hours do you all feel comfortable with? Esp as they get even older? We had a blow up last night when I told her to go to bed @9:30 pm. She usually wakes up @7am. A post about time management, etc., is probably relevant, but I don't want it to get too off topic either. TIA

SnuggleBuggles
09-05-2018, 12:17 PM
I know 8-10 is ideal. Mine probably gets closer to 7-8.


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PunkyBoo
09-05-2018, 01:55 PM
My 14 year old typically gets 8-8.5 hours for school. He'll usually sleep in on weekends, making it more like 9-10 hours. This child has ALWAYS gotten by with far less sleep than I think he needs (even far less than I need!) , even as a toddler, but he's fine. When he is tired I gently remind him that the only way to make the tiredness go away is to sleep.

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KrisM
09-05-2018, 02:02 PM
My 14 year old goes up to bed at 9:30pm. He reads and is asleep by 10:15-10:30. He is up at 6, so 7.5 hours or so. Tuesday, Friday and Saturday he does stay up later, but he gets up at 8am or later the next morning those days.

SnuggleBuggles
09-05-2018, 02:04 PM
My 14 year old goes up to bed at 9:30pm. He reads and is asleep by 10:15-10:30. He is up at 6, so 7.5 hours or so. Tuesday, Friday and Saturday he does stay up later, but he gets up at 8am or later the next morning those days.
:yeahthat:

OP- Fwiw, we do not have a bedtime for him. He's fine self regulating.

SnuggleBuggles
09-05-2018, 02:05 PM
Sorry for the serial posting but did want to say that there are nights that that lights out around 10:30 doesn't happen. Like swim meets that get home at 9pm, musical practice that is over at 11pm... thankfully football games are on Friday nights since he gets home after midnight.

KrisM
09-05-2018, 02:34 PM
:yeahthat:

OP- Fwiw, we do not have a bedtime for him. He's fine self regulating.

Mine mostly does. They do tend to lose track of time it seems and I give him and DD a "hey it's 9:15, you should think about bed soon" and generally within about 30 minutes, they both go up. DS2 is 10 and still has a bedtime that we are working on figuring out for this year.

Twoboos
09-05-2018, 03:11 PM
I hope for around 8-9hrs, so try for bed around 9-9:30. (DD2 definitely needs more.) DD1 gets up around 5:30-5:45, DD2 at about 6 bc she constantly sleeps thru her alarm. Bus comes at 6:40 so they better be ready!! (No I don't know what takes an hour to get ready, it's not like they're showering.)

Thinking DD1 might end up going to bed later as we learn the process of HS sports, homework, showering and unwinding when you don't get home til 7pm or later on game days. :rolleye0014::shrug:

georgiegirl
09-05-2018, 03:42 PM
DD (12.5) and gets about 8.5 during the week. She swims until 9 and doesn’t get to bed until around 10. She’s up at 6:30 every day for school.


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american_mama
09-13-2018, 02:25 AM
Wow, this is surprising to me. I guess DH and I have kind of given up. DD1, age 16, is a night owl and procrastinator, as am I, and she doesn't start her homework until late. DH falls asleep early, then wakes up a few hours later, so our house is regularly humming late, late at night.

DD1 goes to bed at midnight to 1 am and gets up at 7:30. She is 16, so 6.5-7.5 hours of sleep. This has been true since age 14ish.

DD2 is in 8th grade and goes to bed at 10:30-11:30 pm and gets up at 7 am or so, so 7.5 to 8.5 hours. She does a decent job going to bed when she's tired, but also puts off doing things that could be done earlier, like showering and music practice. She often breaks out an instrument to practice after 10 pm and acts like I am crazy when I tell her it's too late.

Somehow it feels like less sleep, perhaps because they both sometimes stay up later. I prod them to go to bed, but hey just "uh huh" me, especially DD1. So no set bedtime, but not ideal self-regulation either.

essnce629
09-13-2018, 03:37 AM
DS1 is 15 and definitely needs more sleep. On the weekends and over summer, if I didn't wake him up he'd still be asleep at 5pm!!! If I didn't get on his case, he'd read a book until the next day. He's supposed to have lights out at 10:30pm, but if he's reading he'll completely lose track of time and I'll go in at 12:30am and he's like "oh, I didn't realize it was so late." So no, he doesn't self regulate at all. He'd read an entire book every single night. Plus his eczema has been horrible for the past year and he often can't sleep because he's so itchy. His bed sheets were covered in blood from scratching so much and he just started wearing cotton gloves to bed and listening to a hypnosis for eczema (to stop scratching) every night when he goes to bed. Luckily, the recording causes him to pass out before it ends (30 minutes). Before that he wasn't falling asleep until around midnight or later, which means he was only getting around 7 hours a night. Tonight he was asleep by 10:45. He gets out of bed at 7:20 every morning for school.

hillview
09-13-2018, 06:51 AM
DS1 has been going to sleep at 10 and is asleep by 1030 and he gets up at 6 or 630. I think he needs more but that is where we are. 7.5 hrs is what I bet is his average. It is also my average and I need more!

ilfaith
12-08-2018, 08:48 AM
My 9th grader goes to be around 10 and usually goes to sleep around 10:30...although I suspect there are nights he stays up later on his computer or phone. He wakes up at 7:30-7:45 (in our district, high school has the latest start time).

My 7th grader goes to bed at 9...sometimes 9:30...and wakes at 5:45 (he has the early bus at 6:35).

My 4th grader goes to bed at 9 as well. It was 8:30, but there are nights that we don't get home from various activities until after 8 pm...so we stretched it until 9. He wakes up at 7...although sometimes he'll get up on his own earlier.

Right now it is a quarter to 8 on a Saturday morning and the kids are all still in bed. Which is unusual..but we had a late night with our neighborhood Christmas tree lighting last night.

okinawama
12-09-2018, 10:27 AM
I prefer that my 13 y.o. DD continue to get a good amount of sleep but maybe my expectation needs to be adjusted. How many hours do you all feel comfortable with? Esp as they get even older? We had a blow up last night when I told her to go to bed @9:30 pm. She usually wakes up @7am. A post about time management, etc., is probably relevant, but I don't want it to get too off topic either. TIA

To me, it's more about how she acts during the day/upon waking. If she's tough to wake, really moody, and acts sleep deprived, then I'd be a stickler on the bedtime. But if she seems well rested, I'd allow her to go to bed a bit later.

gymnbomb
12-09-2018, 10:35 AM
To me, it's more about how she acts during the day/upon waking. If she's tough to wake, really moody, and acts sleep deprived, then I'd be a stickler on the bedtime. But if she seems well rested, I'd allow her to go to bed a bit later.

I agree. If she is waking up easily, on time, and in a good mood she is probably getting enough sleep. If she is grumpy or has to be prodded out of bed she is not.


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SnuggleBuggles
12-09-2018, 10:42 AM
This original thread is months old. Someone bumped it up. Not sure it’s still being watched by OP...


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ged
12-10-2018, 12:57 AM
Thanks all. I happened to notice some new activity, so I am now up to speed:) I agree with many of you. As of now, I still have the 9:30 bedtime set, but we've agreed that if she needs to stay up later for homework, she needs to tell me an hour before (so nothing last minute) and I will most likely let her stay up later to finish her work. She always wakes up on her own, often before 7, so I think she's currently getting enough sleep.