How to lock computer/WiFi

[niccig]

We caught DS up in middle of the night gaming. He’s lost all access, school work will be done on my laptop, and I’m currently driving around with all the game controllers/keyboards/mouses in my car. He gets home an hour before I do, so I just took everything with me this morning. Though a friend told me her son just got a 2nd keyboard/mouse from a friend that he hid from them. So I’m looking for something more permanent - DH is looking at options to limit Internet on that computer.

Any options to look at?
Thanks


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

[nfceagles]

You could take the power cord to work with you. Or the router, but we have too many house gadgets hooked up to WiFi for that to work for us.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[BunnyBee]

Our router (Orbi from Costco) has an app that allows you to turn off/on access to specific devices. Other routers probably have a similar solution. You could also get an add on device such as Circle by Disney.

[hillview]

we have an eero and I can shut it down by device. Your wifi provider / router would possibly allow the same management. you could take the router with you :)

[marymoo86]

You can just filter out the MAC address to block WiFi access immediately but an app to turn on/off would be easier to monitor/manage.

[niccig]

We have several things that run off WiFi so taking the router would be an issue. DH is looking at the router settings to turn off WiFi. DS and his friends are all into IT and DS’ elective is IT support to the teachers, so what we do has to be something he can’t undo.

DH and I sleep better with pink noise, so we didn’t hear him get up and get on the computer. I went to bed early and DH fell asleep on the couch. He later heard talking and busted DS. We know he could get on and we could sleep through it again.


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

[bcafe]

We can set up times for each device, determine days, etc all via our router. I have an app that I can turn things on or off if need be. This has proven extremely helpful.

[niccig]

Thanks all. We’ll look at an app for our router. DS has been doing this for at least a month - he initially insisted it was only this time until I told him I was getting data usage with times from Internet provider. I knew we weren’t lucky enough to have caught him the first time.

Friends have told me they’ve caught their kids doing this. It’s crazy [emoji12]


Sent from my iPhone using Baby Bargains (http://r.tapatalk.com/byo?rid=87652)

[jgenie]

Can the computer be moved to your room and the door locked with a key? We have keyed locks on several doors in our house. The previous owners had them and we kept them when we moved in just had everything rekeyed. We have two hallway closets and our master bedroom plus my closet all with keyed locks. We have two versions of keys - all access and front door. DH and I have all access everyone else just gets the front door key.

[willow33]

We have Verizon Fios and we are able to use their app to shut off internet to certain IP addresses at certain times. We do this for DS's gaming PC on weeknights.

[dogmom]

OK, let me be the devil's advocate here, what is your purpose for doing this? Yeah, I get it, you don't want your kid up all night playing games and you don't want to feel he is completely disrespecting your rules with no consequences. But...aren't you doing this with the end goal of him being a responsible adult? No one is going to be shutting off his wireless access in college, he's got to learn to regulate at some point. I don't know how old your son is or what his underlying temperament is like, and that can make a big difference in how one approaches things. My DS is 15 and a sophomore. We pretty much let him have free reign with his time. There are a lot of discussions about game time/socializing time/homework time. We spent more time talking about these decisions for the past few years than setting firm goals. It's been more vague, like, you need to get outside at times and make sure your homework is done. I see the guilt creeping on him. The dog is sitting staring at him and nudging his mouse hand and next thing I know he says, "I'm going outside for 20 minutes to play with the dog." I see him breaking his evening up into homework-game-homework-watch YouTube while chatting with friends over headset-family time-gaming. I feel like we are on track that he will regulate himself enough to not flunk out of college.

No ask me about getting him to clear out his browser history on his phone, that's a whole other conversation.

[khalloc]

We have several WiFi networks that you can lock down by time of day. So for example, DS who is 10, has his WiFi shut off at 9:30pm. If he's bad or is being punished, his WiFi might not be on at all. DD has her own network and she is able to stay up later. Then DH and I are using a network together that is on all the time. YOu can log into a website (its a cisco router) and turn the different networks on and off, or change the time restrictions). YOu just have to be ON the Wifi network. We havent done it remotely yet. But DH says there is probably a way to do that.

[JElaineB]

OK, let me be the devil's advocate here, what is your purpose for doing this? Yeah, I get it, you don't want your kid up all night playing games and you don't want to feel he is completely disrespecting your rules with no consequences. But...aren't you doing this with the end goal of him being a responsible adult? No one is going to be shutting off his wireless access in college, he's got to learn to regulate at some point. I don't know how old your son is or what his underlying temperament is like, and that can make a big difference in how one approaches things. My DS is 15 and a sophomore. We pretty much let him have free reign with his time. There are a lot of discussions about game time/socializing time/homework time. We spent more time talking about these decisions for the past few years than setting firm goals. It's been more vague, like, you need to get outside at times and make sure your homework is done. I see the guilt creeping on him. The dog is sitting staring at him and nudging his mouse hand and next thing I know he says, "I'm going outside for 20 minutes to play with the dog." I see him breaking his evening up into homework-game-homework-watch YouTube while chatting with friends over headset-family time-gaming. I feel like we are on track that he will regulate himself enough to not flunk out of college.

No ask me about getting him to clear out his browser history on his phone, that's a whole other conversation.

This is me, and I agree with the sentiments in the above post. DS is also a sophomore in high school and we let him do what he wants pretty much. He spends a lot of time gaming but he doesn't hide anything from us. He does stay awake until 2 am or so gaming on weekends (his computer is in the family room). He goes to bed at 10:30 or 11 pm on school nights (gets at least 8.5 hours sleep that way). I was just discussing with DH last night that I think other people we know who are more strict with their high schoolers find they rebel more - and the parents find more things to worry about and punish, so it's a cycle. DS does his homework and gets good grades, and is generally responsible. I have been telling him "when you are in college you will need to do xxxx" to start preparing him to deal with things on his own. It's a process.

[DualvansMommy]

I say this with a caveat about my own experience growing up; I was a night owl pretty much in HS. Still am those days. And really wished my mom sat me down to have ongoing discussions in teaching or talking about time management, effects of staying up late with lack of sleep next full day, etc. I didn’t and had to learn the very hard way in college with real life consequences. I wished I had opportunities to learnt to self regulate all that with guidance in HS.

So what is your end game with DS? Is it the he lied to you guys? Or are you more worried about the fact of staying up late consistently will do to his health and energy? He’s going off to college fairly soon and now is the time he needs discussions on managing real time, sleep needs, and his energy/responsibilities.

I could be talking out of my ass here, as totally not there yet where you’re at now. But I like how dogmom and elaineB weighted in, as that is my main sentiment too. Best of luck to you, momma. It is hard, and I’m sure you’re disappointed, but try to see it as a big teaching moment.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro

[essnce629]

I have a 10th grader also who's addicted to gaming and he gives me his mouse, phone, laptop, and PS4 controller at 9pm on school nights. The controller and mouse go into a safe in my closet and his laptop and phone charge next to my bed since he needs them for school the next morning. It would be great if DS1 learned self control in preparation for college and we do talk about it all the time, but so far he's been unable to self regulate. When I back off and don't set any limits (which I've done over winter and summer break before) he plays 24/7 and never sleeps, eats, gets dressed, or leaves the house! When he spends the night at a friend's house he games until the next day even if his friend falls asleep. So for now we have strict limits. Maybe senior year it will be different. [emoji848]

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk

[niccig]

So what is your end game with DS? Is it the he lied to you guys? Or are you more worried about the fact of staying up late consistently will do to his health and energy? He’s going off to college fairly soon and now is the time he needs discussions on managing real time, sleep needs, and his energy/responsibilities.

I could be talking out of my ass here, as totally not there yet where you’re at now. But I like how dogmom and elaineB weighted in, as that is my main sentiment too. Best of luck to you, momma. It is hard, and I’m sure you’re disappointed, but try to see it as a big teaching moment.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk Pro


I totally agree that DS needs to self regulate and up until this summer we didn’t have any issues with him and regulating screen time. I saw kids rebel too when parents were too strict, and we really don’t want to have to control the computer or his phone, and we have had all of those conversations you have with your kids.

But it’s not working...he’s gone on the computer for 2-3 hours in middle of the night 2-3 times a week for the last 5-6 weeks. His bed time was about 10:30, so we weren’t making him go to bed super early. As long as he did his chores, homework, Soccer, other things we had planned etc, he could get on the computer.

There’s a health component too. He’s been getting really bad headaches for about the last month, both DH and I have had to leave work to get him from school a few times. DH has also struggled to get DS up in the morning at 7am, no surprise if he was up gaming from 1-3am. DS still argues his headaches weren’t caused by his lack of sleep - we’re doing a headache diary so we’ll see if they continue or go away now that he can’t game until the wee hours.

I took him to the dr last week for the headaches before I knew about the gaming and she told him he needs to be asleep by 9:30 and no computer/phone screen time for 90 minutes before bed because the blue light affects sleep patterns. So we’ve started to do that. DS said he got on the computer because he was waking up and not going back to sleep, so we’re having him play sleep sounds, have a bath before bed etc to try to get back into better sleep habits.

DH put parental controls on the computer so the internet is restricted from 10pm until 7am. We already have him leave his phone out of his room as he has friends that will text until midnight. We obviously won’t know if he gets up in the middle of the night, so other than locking the WiFi, how else to stop a 13 year old from getting up at 1am and gaming until 3-4 am when they won’t stop on their own????

[fauve01]

DH put parental controls on the computer so the internet is restricted from 10pm until 7am. We already have him leave his phone out of his room as he has friends that will text until midnight. We obviously won’t know if he gets up in the middle of the night, so other than locking the WiFi, how else to stop a 13 year old from getting up at 1am and gaming until 3-4 am when they won’t stop on their own????

If this was happening at my house, we would get rid of the game. Completely out of the house. For a good long time too, not just a day or two. It would be at least until sleep patterns got back to normal. Then if we brought the game back, it would be weekends only.

[SnuggleBuggles]

If this was happening at my house, we would get rid of the game. Completely out of the house. For a good long time too, not just a day or two. It would be at least until sleep patterns got back to normal. Then if we brought the game back, it would be weekends only.
:yeahthat: it's easy to become pretty addicted to a game. Cold turkey might be the best solution.

[lil_acorn]

we enable wifi through our cable/internet provider. You can set profiles for various devices. However, I've also been warned that they can use their phone as a hotspot to link their gaming system *sigh* I'm hoping the bandwidth is too low for this to be successful!

[HannaAddict]

This is me, and I agree with the sentiments in the above post. DS is also a sophomore in high school and we let him do what he wants pretty much. He spends a lot of time gaming but he doesn't hide anything from us. He does stay awake until 2 am or so gaming on weekends (his computer is in the family room). He goes to bed at 10:30 or 11 pm on school nights (gets at least 8.5 hours sleep that way). I was just discussing with DH last night that I think other people we know who are more strict with their high schoolers find they rebel more - and the parents find more things to worry about and punish, so it's a cycle. DS does his homework and gets good grades, and is generally responsible. I have been telling him "when you are in college you will need to do xxxx" to start preparing him to deal with things on his own. It's a process.

Our approach too. Mine doesn’t stay up quite that late on weekends, but we don’t have a strict time limit. But he’s 14 now. When he was younger, if he’d done that we would have taken more action since self regulation is harder. Our friends who have draconian rules and lock things in safes, and constantly punish with loss of small amounts of screen time have waaaay more issues with lying, obsessing over games/screens and generally not how we want to run our family. My mom had this approach with me growing up too about curfews, using my brain and making good decisions and I self moderated. My husband has the stricy authoritarian parent model and went crazy when he went to college. Just anecdotal but I would probably try something else before totally locking down the internet.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[essnce629]

If this was happening at my house, we would get rid of the game. Completely out of the house. For a good long time too, not just a day or two. It would be at least until sleep patterns got back to normal. Then if we brought the game back, it would be weekends only.Because lots of the games our kids play are not actual physical games you can just get rid of. DS1 plays lots of PS4 games that are just digital download codes so you'd have to get rid of the PS4 power cord or controller to prevent him from playing. He also plays lots of Steam games on his PC, which are also downloads. I'd have to get rid of the computer to stop him from playing those. Which is why I bought a safe to put the PS4 controllers and the PC gaming mouse in. Without those, he can't play. He can also play games on his phone without wifi, so cutting the wifi at a certain time wouldn't help either.

Sent from my SM-J700P using Tapatalk

[TwinFoxes]

If this was happening at my house, we would get rid of the game.

The days of physical games are ending. My kids are tweens, and they have game discs, but my nephew who's a high schoolers doesn't use discs, it's in the cloud.

[SnuggleBuggles]

The days of physical games are ending. My kids are tweens, and they have game discs, but my nephew who's a high schoolers doesn't use discs, it's in the cloud.

Game, console/ system, controllers...whatever. :) I bet pp just meant the means to play the game (that’s what I was agreeing with). Moms of teens are pretty savvy on the world of the cloud and games. :)


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[HannaAddict]

I totally agree that DS needs to self regulate and up until this summer we didn’t have any issues with him and regulating screen time. I saw kids rebel too when parents were too strict, and we really don’t want to have to control the computer or his phone, and we have had all of those conversations you have with your kids.

But it’s not working...he’s gone on the computer for 2-3 hours in middle of the night 2-3 times a week for the last 5-6 weeks. His bed time was about 10:30, so we weren’t making him go to bed super early. As long as he did his chores, homework, Soccer, other things we had planned etc, he could get on the computer.

There’s a health component too. He’s been getting really bad headaches for about the last month, both DH and I have had to leave work to get him from school a few times. DH has also struggled to get DS up in the morning at 7am, no surprise if he was up gaming from 1-3am. DS still argues his headaches weren’t caused by his lack of sleep - we’re doing a headache diary so we’ll see if they continue or go away now that he can’t game until the wee hours.

I took him to the dr last week for the headaches before I knew about the gaming and she told him he needs to be asleep by 9:30 and no computer/phone screen time for 90 minutes before bed because the blue light affects sleep patterns. So we’ve started to do that. DS said he got on the computer because he was waking up and not going back to sleep, so we’re having him play sleep sounds, have a bath before bed etc to try to get back into better sleep habits.

DH put parental controls on the computer so the internet is restricted from 10pm until 7am. We already have him leave his phone out of his room as he has friends that will text until midnight. We obviously won’t know if he gets up in the middle of the night, so other than locking the WiFi, how else to stop a 13 year old from getting up at 1am and gaming until 3-4 am when they won’t stop on their own????

That is hard and with the additional facts I would consider restricting the internet. I bet the headaches are part of the lack of sleep and too much screen time. It is hard these days, I know I look at my phone before bed and they are designed to suck you on and make your brain want more and more. Hope he feels better and can get back into regular sleep cycle!


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[trales]

I think a lot of people misunderstand how serious the need to play these games can be and how how young minds just cannot self regulate. Here is an article that was passed around the faculty at the college https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201803/sense-and-nonsense-about-video-game-addiction

I see a lot of freshman who had really awesome parents and they get so wrapped up in gaming, it destroys their lives and they end up having to drop or fail out for the semester. These kids were taught to self regulate, but they CAN'T, and only intervention will help them move on.

These kids need help, they need someone to step in and help them. I really don't think there is a strict/ non strict component to this. I see too many kids from both types of families fall into trouble.

[TwinFoxes]

Game, console/ system, controllers...whatever. :) I bet pp just meant the means to play the game (that’s what I was agreeing with). Moms of teens are pretty savvy on the world of the cloud and games. :)



But Nicci already said she took all that stuff, her OP said she has it with her right now. Quite a number of people on this board have said they don't know anything about tech.

[SnuggleBuggles]

But Nicci already said she took all that stuff, her OP said she has it with her right now. Quite a number of people on this board have said they don't know anything about tech.
Missed that about nicci.:)

[dogmom]

I think a lot of people misunderstand how serious the need to play these games can be and how how young minds just cannot self regulate. Here is an article that was passed around the faculty at the college https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201803/sense-and-nonsense-about-video-game-addiction

I see a lot of freshman who had really awesome parents and they get so wrapped up in gaming, it destroys their lives and they end up having to drop or fail out for the semester. These kids were taught to self regulate, but they CAN'T, and only intervention will help them move on.

These kids need help, they need someone to step in and help them. I really don't think there is a strict/ non strict component to this. I see too many kids from both types of families fall into trouble.

I actually completely agree with you on this, and I fall into the less strict camp. It’s not clear if this is the issue with the OP child or not. I would argue if you kid has it this bad, such as several nights a week sneaking games, headaches, etc., it is NOT just a matter of taking away internet access or hiding the controllers in safe. One needs to move onto therapy. Gaming is a great way to hide/self regulate depression/anxiety. I speak from my husband’s experience in the past. He knows when he games a lot it means he’s depressed and needs to shake things up. You should treat it like any other addiction that is self medicating, like drinking alcohol or taking drugs. It’s not going to go way by just hiding the liquor cabinet keys.

[JElaineB]

I think a lot of people misunderstand how serious the need to play these games can be and how how young minds just cannot self regulate. Here is an article that was passed around the faculty at the college https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201803/sense-and-nonsense-about-video-game-addiction

I see a lot of freshman who had really awesome parents and they get so wrapped up in gaming, it destroys their lives and they end up having to drop or fail out for the semester. These kids were taught to self regulate, but they CAN'T, and only intervention will help them move on.

These kids need help, they need someone to step in and help them. I really don't think there is a strict/ non strict component to this. I see too many kids from both types of families fall into trouble.

I am a staff member at a large state university and my job is to work with students who are on academic probation and at risk of dismissal, those who are dismissed for academic reasons, and those returning from dismissal. Our university also has collected statistics for years on factors that affect students who withdraw from classes on their own and then do or don't return to campus in the future. We have had a few students who have video game addiction that affects their academics, and I've worked with a couple who have gambling addiction. But the overwhelming majority of students who have academic difficulties are because of other factors that are not particularly within their control, such as lack of preparedness for college-level work, financial issues, anxiety, depression, (self-medicating through) drug or alcohol abuse, physical illness of themselves or a loved one, death in the family, divorce of parents.

[khm]

I think a lot of people misunderstand how serious the need to play these games can be and how how young minds just cannot self regulate. Here is an article that was passed around the faculty at the college https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201803/sense-and-nonsense-about-video-game-addiction

I see a lot of freshman who had really awesome parents and they get so wrapped up in gaming, it destroys their lives and they end up having to drop or fail out for the semester. These kids were taught to self regulate, but they CAN'T, and only intervention will help them move on.

These kids need help, they need someone to step in and help them. I really don't think there is a strict/ non strict component to this. I see too many kids from both types of families fall into trouble.

I have one kid who can self-regulate and one who literally cannot. It is MADDENING. It simply isn't something I can explain or get him to "understand". He literally changes when in front of a game. I have to help him regulate at this point. I am very worried for him as he reaches college age and beyond, but I also have to get him thru 8th grade right now.....

[DualvansMommy]

Even though my boys are young, but I can already tell a bit that DS2 has more difficulty putting down his iPad than DS1. So as such, I really limit their iPad usage. In the past, I used to let them bring out with us to restaurants, but I stopped 6-7 months ago and it’s much better for everyone already. They prefer to talk with us, color their coloring books or read a book now. The only exception I did was going on a late night to a highly popular shore restaurant, knew it’ll be long wait since no reservations was accepted.

Some kids need lot more intervention than some when it comes to screen time, gaming system and the like. You do what you have to do since you know your child best.


Sent from my iPad using Tapatalk