What do you do when your kid won’t take daily medication?

[AnnieW625]

DD2 (8) has inattentive adhd and DH called to tell me this AM that DD2 flat out refused to take her medication, and had a tantrum over it this AM. Her medication is only available in capsule non chewable form and she can’t swallow pills so we put in a little bit of milk. She has full on freaked out and cried and had melt downs every time we have tried to get her to swallow the pills (saying we don’t love her, and her medication makes her lose weight and she can focus without it, etc.) so we have just given up and the milk seems to be a good delivery system. She cannot focus on anything educational related, but thankfully hasn’t had any behavior issues at school (occasionally she will act out at home and have a fit on the days she doesn’t have medication.....it takes her 4 hours on a weekend to do 5 pages of Kumon reading/writing worksheets, which are very grade appropriate and takes 45 minutes max on a regular day). I am fearing for the worst, but am hoping she got enough of it that it somewhat works.

DH out of frustration told her no iPad this weekend, and my first instinct was to not let her go to the minor league hockey game we have tickets to tonight and she has been looking forward to all week. Then I got to thinking she went to bed at 9:30 pm last night and wasn’t fully asleep until probably 10 because we we were delivering boo grams for DD1’s school and didn’t get home until 9:15. I feel like it is essentially my fault she woke up with not enough sleep, which most likely caused the melt down and her not wanting to take her meds. In an ideal world she would be in bed by 7:30 or 8:00 at the latest but with two parents who commute in a major metropolitan area and don’t get home until 6 because then there is dinner, homework,and showers that is just not going to happen.....I am happy with 8:30 most nights.

I am also beyond frustrated with DH because he just accused DD2 of being like my aunt who had diagnosed bipolar disorder (the aunt died of old age at 94), and DH is full on convinced DD2 will need to be medicated for her entire life, and that really frustrates DH.


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[elektra]

Lots going on with that. I can totally understand everyone's POV!
Re: the pills- when my DD had to take antibiotics (non-chewable, must swallow pills) for 9 months it was just much easier to teach her to swallow a pill. We started with mini m&Ms and she got the hang of it at age 5. We promised her a big party and gave treats, and it worked. She was much younger with different circumstances.

I also now have to give my son injections for a condition, maybe for life. :( We just talked through it- he knows it's necessary. Lots of positive reinforcement.

So I would tackle those two issues with your DD- talk about why she really needs the meds, trust the dr. etc. and then practice swallowing the pills and give her rewards if she does.

[AnnieW625]

Thank you Elektra.

DD2 is very stubborn. Her pediatrician suggested using tic tacs, but that caused the last meltdown. DD2 is convinces she will chew it or choke.

Unfortunately reward systems don’t really work with her....she doesn’t care about the end reward as she just wants to do her own thing.

I couldn’t swallow pills till I was 15, but I would take them sprinkled on jam, but DD2 won’t do that either. We’ve tried that, Nutella or peanut butter and that worked for awhile, but now she is sensitive to taste and I think it is partly psychological.


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[Smillow]

I think it’s important to hear her objections. Let her express why she doesn’t like swallowing them, let her vent everything and then acknowledge her thoughts and feelings. Coercion has limited use, cooperation is your goal. She has a lot of feelings about this and they won’t go away. Answer all her questions, ask her questions, let it be okay that she doesn’t like taking them.

[mmsmom]

It may be helpful if she can talk to the doctor or nurse. Sometimes these things are easier if it is an outsider explaining it. I would allow her to express her concerns to the doctor/nurse as to why she doesn’t want to take the med and let them explain the importance of it. In our ped practice a nurse would speak to her over the phone.

[123LuckyMom]

Okay, I know this isn’t an ideal solution, but do you have to tell her something contains her medication? I don’t know how old she is, but if she’s under 10 and not really yet capable of understanding the importance of her meds, couldn’t you just set up a reward system where she earns some special drink or treat, like small amounts of juice or ice cream or something really tasty, and empty the capsule into the juice or ice cream? She’ll be getting a treat AND her meds, and the battle will vanish. I’m not suggesting you lie to her, but I am suggesting you just not talk about the meds any more. Find a way to give them to her where she doesn’t have to make a decision to take them, because she’s already decided to fight you. Also, if your DH is ambivalent, even if he agrees this is the right decision, your DD may be picking up on his doubts. If I were you, I’d be the one dealing with the meds, and, since the decision has been made by the professionals and adults that this is medication she needs, it’s your job to see that she gets the medication. It’s not necessarily her job to agree as long as you get the meds in her. I’d advocate stealth.

Having said that, are her complaints about the side effects accurate, and might she have a point and a legitimate argument about not wanting the meds? I’d listen to her! Maybe there are other options.


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[MontrealMum]

DS used to take ADHD meds when he was around that age. He doesn’t need them anymore so first, it’s not necessarily for life. It’s different for each person.

Also, I think you’re right on about her being overtired. But I still think you need to have a frank talk with her. With DS we talked about why he needed them, and what the benefits to him were but we also stressed that taking them was non-negotiable.

We did try to get him to learn to swallow pills but it was a disaster, so we ended up emptying the capsules into yogurt. The method of delivery- the yogurt - was his choice and gave him a bit of a sense of ownership.


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[doberbrat]

I'm sure there would be a cost but is it possible that a compounding pharmacy could make them into a chewable or drinkable version?

Like a pp, I do think that everyone is partially right on this one...

[HannaAddict]

DS used to take ADHD meds when he was around that age. He doesn’t need them anymore so first, it’s not necessarily for life. It’s different for each person.

Also, I think you’re right on about her being overtired. But I still think you need to have a frank talk with her. With DS we talked about why he needed them, and what the benefits to him were but we also stressed that taking them was non-negotiable.

We did try to get him to learn to swallow pills but it was a disaster, so we ended up emptying the capsules into yogurt. The method of delivery- the yogurt - was his choice and gave him a bit of a sense of ownership.


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Many meds, and specifically all day AdHD meds can’t be broken up and and delivered that way or the child will get the wrong dose. Just be very careful as a parent you know if the specific med is one that is okay to be crushed, sprinkled or whatever vs needing to remain intact to deliver over time. It is dangerous to do with some meds.


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[Pear]

We have had problems with Dd. She has to takers for allergies and asthma twice a day. Some of them are simple swallows, but others have to be done properly. We have bribed, we have screamed. I finally broke down and cried one day and told her Honestly that these meds could mean the difference between life and death for her. We have had lots of complaining, but cooperation since.

It she more concerned with the side effects or the act of swallowing the pill (or tasting it in milk)?

[KpbS]

We started by placing the capsule (of probiotics) into a spoonful of applesauce and DC learned to swallow a pill that way. They got the hang of it quickly!

I would make a reward chart for her (star for each day) and give a weekly reward, ice cream, special burger/drink, pack of gum, etc. I know you say she isn't motivated by rewards, but I think seeing it coupled with both of you sitting down and explaining to her how important it is could be key.

[dhano923]

Honestly, i used to bribe my kids at that age. They got a reward for taking meds. Gross tasting things got rewarded with m&ms or something similar - just like 3-4 of them. My son had to take a large antibiotic pill twice a day a few years ago and he was convinced he would choke, so i told him if he finished all his antibiotics properly, he could pick out a $10 toy at Target.

I’m not normally a fan of bribing, but for meds, I make an exception. I hate swallowing pills myself, so I try to make it pleasant for the kids.

[dogmom]

People have given you good advice about your child, so going to focus on your DH. Having a high needs child it’s Beyond stressful on a marriage, but there are things that are OK and not OK. It’s hard enough to manage a child and one’s own feelings of guilt/stress about the child. You don’t need your ADULT spouse on top of it. Would he be acting the same if you child had to take a medication for the rest of her life for some other medical condition? You really need to address this part sooner than later. We got to a point where I was “Look, we keep having the same arguments about our DD. I can’t keep doing this. We either need to fix it, go to couples therapy to fix it, or you will make me choose between my child and you. I don’t want that.” We got better at talking about it. We got better at clearly signaling when one of us was venting and not blaming the other. We got better at saying, “You were right about a situation and I was wrong.” It decreased the stress for everyone, including our daughter.

[MontrealMum]

Many meds, and specifically all day AdHD meds can’t be broken up and and delivered that way or the child will get the wrong dose. Just be very careful as a parent you know if the specific med is one that is okay to be crushed, sprinkled or whatever vs needing to remain intact to deliver over time. It is dangerous to do with some meds.


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Um, thanks for the momsplaining. It’s not like we did it without a doctor’s guidance. [emoji849] I’d expect the OP is in contact with a medical professional as well if her child is taking prescription medication.


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[StantonHyde]

Try give the pill in applesauce or pudding or something easy to swallow

[gatorsmom]

Try give the pill in applesauce or pudding or something easy to swallow

I agree with all the poster who said to have her practice with m&ms but then also make it as pleasant as possible. I’d also add in some bribe of a really great toy or other incentive for her. Something she wants bad. If you can get her to take the pill for a few days with the thought of that great toy she’s been wanting, hopefully after a week she will he used to it. The goal is to get her used to it.

Ds3 started taking slow-release Concerta when he was 8yo. His sensory issues made swallowing anything whole a real problem. I think we bribed him with a major video game if he could swallow it without complaining for 10 days. It might have been a few more or less days, I can’t remember. He’s 10yo now and we give them to him every morning now with a big glass of chocolate milk (with heavy cream added for the calories. The medicine takes his appetite away). He’s become so accustomed to them that he can swallow them while he’s still asleep. We practiced a lot with mini m&ms. The ones he’s taking now are the size of adult medicine caplets. They are pretty big. So don’t lose hope! Just keep practicing. Eventually she ‘ll get it.

[smilequeen]

Have you had the doctor talk to her about the importance of taking it? Like others, DS2’s neurologist had us empty the capsules into yogurt before he could swallow pills (he was in K when he was diagnosed). He hasn’t ever resisted taking the meds but it took a while to learn to swallow pills for him.

[amyx4]

I don't have a kid on daily medication. However, I did know a compounding pharmacist. He's now retired in a warm climate.

He absolutely loved being able to help people get what they needed in medicine. If there's a compounding pharmacy near you, maybe it's worth a phone call.

[georgiegirl]

DS1 (9) knows he has to take his meds out else he can’t ever have screen time again. He rarely objects. He figured out how to swallow pills very quickly. I think we practiced a little with m&ms but he figure it out on his own

[trcy]

Haven't read the other replies, but I would first find out what her objection is. DD takes a non stimulant ADHD medicine and an Omega 3 capsule, she doesn't like taking her meds because she claims they taste bad (they are pills that she swallows so I don't get it, but whatever). The compromise is she gets something to "wash it down with" after. Sometimes it's a gummy bear, pretzel, ect. While I don't love the idea of gummies in the morning, it's only two. Also, she knows, no screen time before she is completely ready, dressed, teeth brushed, meds taken, ect. It's not a threat or punishment, it just the way it is. She is way too pokey in the morning and I hate rushing to get her to school on time.

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[ChicagoNDMom]

MontrealMum, the comment/reminder from another poster about the need to keep long-acting/delayed release formulations unadulterated (don’t open/crush capsules) an important one. This is my area of expertise (drug development). And this is a significant issue. If it is “momsplaining” to remind folks of this in a thread on enticing children to take meds, then add me to the “momsplaining” list.