Updating DH's wardrobe--where to start?

[smiles33]

Hi all!

DH is finally receptive to allowing me to upgrade his wardrobe. He is the kind of guy who wears his college alma mater Underarmour gear everywhere when he's not at work (he wears scrubs every day). When we go out to dinner, he'll wear a collared long sleeve shirt (one of his friends recommended Charles Tyrwhitt so he stocked up on those) and nice pants. But I need to find better casual wear for him.

Here are my problems:

- he buys everything on-line and hates going to stores or trying clothes on in public. So I need recs for some good stores. Ideally, I'd bring him to Nordstrom and ask a stylist to pull some appropriate casual men's styles but there's practically a 0% chance he'd agreed to that.

- He is really picky about comfort. He won't wear anything he finds remotely uncomfortable. When we first started dating 20 years ago, I tried to buy some simple classic pieces for him (e.g., a Ralph Lauren collared polo shirt was too rough and its "pointy" collar irritated his neck, a v-neck wool sweater he said was itchy). This is why he lives in the performance wear Underarmour gear, it's soft and has no rough/itchy edges. Yet he happily wears his cotton scrubs, so it doesn't have to be performance gear.

- He overheats easily, so he's not going to wear a layered look (a collared patterned shirt over a t-shirt).

- He's 43 and average build, so not super lean and young like the models in the various casual men's outfits I've tried to google. Pants and shirts look REALLY tight on those young men and DH is not going to wear those styles. I need something age-appropriate but also in the weird in-between of not too dressy but not logo t-shirts and shorts.

- I also want to get him a new more tailored suit for weddings/funerals. His one suit from 20 years ago (which I helped him buy from a Hugo Boss outlet) is too baggy for current fashion.

I'm willing to invest in some quality pieces as I don't think he'd allow me to upgrade him annually. These need to last at least 5+ years!

Any specific advice for brands or even outfits would be greatly appreciated! Thanks.

[SnuggleBuggles]

It doesn't sound like he's doing terribly for casual wear. I'd just get a pair of good jeans and simple t's (fitted, solid).

The suit though is a good upgrade. Maybe Brook Brothers, Nordstrom or Jos. A Banks.

Where do you envision him wearing the clothes and why are the ones he currently wears not up to snuff? :)

[smiles33]

Hi SnuggleBuggles! I guess I just prefer he wear his college gear around the house, not all over the city. I'd like him to look his age, as opposed to the same stuff he wore at 22. I know if he wore a t-shirt with a collared casual shirt layered over it, it would look more "polished" than a football t-shirt but he won't wear layers.

He brought up buying clothes out of the blue and suggested collared polo shirts, but I don't like that look. Then he asked me what I wanted him to buy and I told him I have no idea. Googling casual men's outfits led me to lots of photos of lean guys in layered outfits (which won't meet his particular sensitivities). That's why I came here. What do your DHs wear? Do they also live in college t-shirts when they're not at work?

He also dislikes jeans, which I forgot to mention, because they're also "rough." He has sensitive skin (far more than me!) and actually wears his performance wear undershirts underneath his scrubs inside out so the seams don't irritate him!

Anyhow, maybe no one will have suggestions because he's just too picky. This is why I gave up trying to dress him after wasting time and money early in our relationship.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think if your dh could ditch the logo stuff that could be enough. :) Mine just wears like I described- nice jeans and solid cotton t's (long or short based on the season). Our down time just doesn't need more. He can pull together stuff for nights out and it sounds like you dh can too. They make some amazingly comfortable, soft jeans. That could be a splurge worth doing!

[basil]

My DH is similar. He doesn't wear college gear and he will wear jeans, but he is just SO picky about comfort. I just keep trying and return return return.

He had one pair of pajama pants that got a hole in them...I had to buy 4 different pairs before I found ones that he liked. I returned the other 3. One he wouldn't even try on because it was "too dry" (I don't even know what that means???)

DH will wear jeans, long sleeved t shirts and a soft v-neck sweater most cool weather weekends. I've had reasonable luck with cotton sweaters because they aren't itchy and are washable and not too thick. Something like this: https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/73110?page=cotton-cashmere-sweater-v-neck&bc=12-26-516601&feat=516601-GN1&csp=f Lands end is also a good place to look for classic mens stuff that's not too trendy.

What does he wear for pants if not jeans?

[gymnbomb]

My husband wears jeans and solid tshirts most of the time. I would be fine with him wearing logo shirts, but he doesn't like them. He has a couple of polo shirts and button up shirts, a couple pair of slacks, and one good suit for times he needs to look better. But for random family trips to restaurants, science museum, grocery store, zoo, etc. there is no need for him to wear anything nice.


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[o_mom]

I think if your dh could ditch the logo stuff that could be enough. :) Mine just wears like I described- nice jeans and solid cotton t's (long or short based on the season). Our down time just doesn't need more. He can pull together stuff for nights out and it sounds like you dh can too. They make some amazingly comfortable, soft jeans. That could be a splurge worth doing!

Yes - Jeans and a solid cotton T are the standard around here. A few "nicer" casual shirts like t-shirts with a couple buttons at the neck or polos for a slight step up in the look.

If he likes UA, they have non-logo shirts. I have a couple and they are super comfy, so I can see why he might like them.

If he can't find jeans, then look for more tailored athletic pants. UA makes golf pants that are more tailored, but still have stretch, etc. I would have him try on something like that.

What does he wear for pants now?

ETA: If he likes polo shirts, I would go with that even if it isn't what you would like.

[DualvansMommy]

My DH used to wear all of his alma mater t-shirts, long sleeve shirts in jeans when I first met him. Now is different, only wear those around the house with his UA pants or the like.

He is picky about jeans though. Found one brand that worked for him and he stocked up on it with 4 pairs in different shades. Your DH just have to try all different brands, you can order online and what isn’t good just get returned.

He wears classic crisp white T shirts with v neck sweaters over and jeans for casual days out. Tailored chinos with dress shirts and shoes for night outs. He got himself 2 new suits for weddings and funerals 2-3 years ago from Brook brothers so that should last him for a while.

I think if your DH can find a great pair of jeans, few good quality casual sweaters and great cotton long sleeve shirts for more casual wear. Chinos and new dress shirts then your DH is good to go.


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[carolinacool]

But for random family trips to restaurants, science museum, grocery store, zoo, etc. there is no need for him to wear anything nice.


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This is kind of where we are. I honestly just noticed earlier this week that my DH hasn’t worn jeans for months and months. I asked him about it, and he says he just prefers his athletic pants. He’s bought a lot of the Nike/UA pants lately. And he does wear a lot of logo stuff, both brands and team college stuff. Plus, he almost always rocks a baseball hat in his free time. I do miss his jeans because I think they look nice, but to Gymnbomb’s point, the places we go for the most part on the weekends or after work are hardly any places that require any sort of level of dressing up. He doesn’t look like a slob. His clothes aren’t big and baggy and worn looking, it’s just a current athletic look. I think everyone has a style, and he’s just settled on this one. Particularly since he wears a shirt and tie to work every day.

I agree that you can find slimmer cut, fashionable athletic pants out there. And I agree with letting him go with polos. The fact that he can pull it together when it counts, like my DH does, is a pretty big deal. Be glad you aren’t fighting that battle!

[niccig]

My DH wear jeans/Khaki style pants and a short or long sleeved collar shirt. He wears same to work.

He likes performance wear collared shirts from KUHL, Patagonia etc. they’re cool and wicking but dressier than a t shirt. He also has some shirts from Lucky brand or Banana Republic if he wants to be a bit dressier. Jeans are either GAP or KUHL.

He’s wearing KUHL jeans, shirt and Nike sneakers right now. We went to brunch and will run some errands.

Maybe see if he likes something like this - it’s polio style but the material is nice and soft https://www.kuhl.com/kuhl/mens/short-sleeve/icelandr/

Then maybe you can get him into a button shirt https://www.kuhl.com/kuhl/mens/short-sleeve/skorpio/

Have him look at a sporting good store like Dicks or REI as they have performance wear that’s not just t-shirts.

For pants, there’s some softer denim now that he might like better.

I agree that jeans and some nicer t-shirts or collared shirts can be worn to most places.


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[firstbaby]

We updated DH's wardrobe a few months ago and I highly recommend the jeans from American Eagle - the Flex or Ne(x)t Level ones are worn by 3 out of 4 guys in my house. Enough stretch to not make them rough feeling but they don't stretch out and lose shape. They also come in a color and fabric that is more like khaki pants but not as stiff and not as thick as denim. What about the Shep Shirt from Vineyard Vines. Yes, it's expensive, but a great layering piece and looks nice with a collar shirt, t-shirt or nothing underneath. Good luck!

[SnuggleBuggles]

We updated DH's wardrobe a few months ago and I highly recommend the jeans from American Eagle - the Flex or Ne(x)t Level ones are worn by 3 out of 4 guys in my house. Enough stretch to not make them rough feeling but they don't stretch out and lose shape. They also come in a color and fabric that is more like khaki pants but not as stiff and not as thick as denim. What about the Shep Shirt from Vineyard Vines. Yes, it's expensive, but a great layering piece and looks nice with a collar shirt, t-shirt or nothing underneath. Good luck!

My dh has a few of that style top from Lands End. I would have suggested but she said dh didn’t like layering. But, they’re a nice style!


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[PunkyBoo]

My guys also like the jogger pants- the slimmer leg looks a little nicer and more current than other sweat pants. And you can get some that are non-fleece. We bought a bunch from old navy recently.
For "dressier" shirts that aren't dress shirts, my DH loves golf shirts especially Travis Matthew brand. They feel like athletic shirts, keep him from overheating, and look nice like polo shirts. His usual "going out" uniform is jeans and a good shirt, with nice new-looking, dark colored sneakers. He hates sweaters (and we live in southern California) so he hardly ever gets cold, but will put on a light, solid colored anorak or jacket when he does. In the winter he wears a solid colored tee shirt and uses a soft flannel solid colored button shirt as a "jacket".=

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[smiles33]

Thanks all! DH wears the "soft" brushed cotton khaki shorts/khaki pants/Underarmour athletic pants. If he's just going to the hardware store or running errands, then yes, the t-shirts are perfectly fine. I'm trying to identify options more for family get-togethers and when we go to a nice lunch. If I'm dressed up in a nice dress, I prefer he be dressed up, too.

I'm going to look into the softer jeans and some of the tops PPs mentioned. Thank you!

[KpbS]

My DH has quite a few of these polos. They are definitely softer (softer seams also) than regular polos.

https://www.macys.com/shop/product/attack-life-by-greg-norman-mens-5-iron-space-dye-performance-golf-polo-created-for-macys?ID=5179050&CategoryID=55271&swatchColor=Bright%20Crimson#fn=sp%3D1%26spc%3D48% 26ruleId%3D85%7CBOOST%20SAVED%20SET%26searchPass%3 DmatchNone%26slotId%3D1

[o_mom]

If I'm dressed up in a nice dress, I prefer he be dressed up, too.



I'm not sure that your desire to be dressed up should translate into he needs to dress up.

However, if he is already in khakis, a couple of nice polo shirts should be plenty to dress him up. Shop the golf section at a sporting goods store and find some soft polos for him with tolerable seams.

My neighbor wears athletic wear 90% of the time, but it is fitted and nicer, and he could fit in just about anywhere short of a suit and tie occasion.

[SnuggleBuggles]

I wouldn’t call polos dressy. I guess some do because of the collar but, at least in my circle, they aren’t really the next step up. I would go with henleys vs polos. Quarter zip sweaters read older to me too but a decent more dressed up option than a button down. I’m sure your circle matters though. Mine wear more fitted t’s, henleys, quarter zip pull over sweaters/fleeces/ tech fabric, nice sweaters and casual button downs. Polos are worn if golfing/ other appropriate sport or as part of a uniform (like coaches for sports teams). I don’t know many golfers so maybe that’s why I don’t see many. :)


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[essnce629]

My DH is similar. He doesn't wear college gear and he will wear jeans, but he is just SO picky about comfort. I just keep trying and return return return.

He had one pair of pajama pants that got a hole in them...I had to buy 4 different pairs before I found ones that he liked. I returned the other 3. One he wouldn't even try on because it was "too dry" (I don't even know what that means???)

DH will wear jeans, long sleeved t shirts and a soft v-neck sweater most cool weather weekends. I've had reasonable luck with cotton sweaters because they aren't itchy and are washable and not too thick. Something like this: https://www.llbean.com/llb/shop/73110?page=cotton-cashmere-sweater-v-neck&bc=12-26-516601&feat=516601-GN1&csp=f Lands end is also a good place to look for classic mens stuff that's not too trendy.

What does he wear for pants if not jeans?

Omg, I can see my DS1 growing up to be just like your DH! [emoji23] [emoji23] [emoji23] He has refused to wear anything else besides Doctor Who t-shirts and 1 type of LE khaki shorts for year's now! I've bought him multiple brands of other khaki shorts and he always says they're too rough or not the right khaki color! The problem is the shorts he's settled on are LE kids and he's 15 years old and should be wearing men's! He still fits into the XL kids ones and I ended up just buying 7 more pairs of the exact same shorts because he rejected everything else! Same problem with buying him underwear! He refuses to wear anything other than the HA boxer briefs! I've bought him at least dozen other brands and he's hated them all! Luckily they just go to DH in that situation!

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[catsnkid]

My DH wears the 3 pairs of jeans we bought at ON a few years ago. He has one pair of athletic pants he wears sometimes. Mostly long sleeved t-shirts w/ and w/out logos. He has a couple collared casual shirts that I like him to wear when it is a special event, like a birthday or thanksgiving, but no one would care in our family anyway. He is retired due to medical issues. He owns several botton down shirts, but he never wears them. He has improved from when he was working as a contractor, a lot of what he wore had holes/stained, those clothes have been tossed. I have steered him away from shopping at WalMart like he used too.

[smiles33]

I'm not sure that your desire to be dressed up should translate into he needs to dress up.

If I'm reading your comment correctly that you think my level of formality should not be matched by DH, then I strongly disagree. I'm not dressing up to go to Target or a fast food chain--it's for special family events or a nice lunch out. I said I was perfectly fine with him wearing his logo gear to run errands at the hardware store or pick up groceries. I'm talking about times when we're dressing up for appropriate venues/events (e.g., family birthday party, baby shower, upscale restaurant, etc.). We don't go to church/temple, but if we did, I would never agree to let DH go wearing a logo t-shirt and his khaki shorts. I think that's disrespectful for the occasion/venue. That's the kind of appropriate dress I'm seeking.

I know many Americans are very casual, but I strongly prefer he wears his college logo t-shirts at home or at very casual venues. My challenge is that he doesn't currently have anything in-between his date night/wedding outfits and hang out around the house outfits. I need appropriate outfits for a tier below "dressy."

When we went to Italy, I loved seeing Italians "dressed up" and not wearing flip flops, khaki shorts, and logo t-shirts. When we went to Florence (the one touristy town on our trip), I immediately saw Americans dressed like that and they stick out like sore thumbs. I'm trying to find outfits for DH that are a little more polished/sophisticated than logo t-shirts or polo/golf shirts. I don't think polo shirts are dressy either, but they are certainly a step up from logo t-shirts.

Anyhow, I just felt I had to respond to this post because it seemed to imply that DH should get a free pass to look like a slob and I shouldn't force him to dress up just because I felt the occasion warranted dressing nicely.

[o_mom]

If I'm reading your comment correctly that you think my level of formality should not be matched by DH, then I strongly disagree. I'm not dressing up to go to Target or a fast food chain--it's for special family events or a nice lunch out. I said I was perfectly fine with him wearing his logo gear to run errands at the hardware store or pick up groceries. I'm talking about times when we're dressing up for appropriate venues/events (e.g., family birthday party, baby shower, upscale restaurant, etc.). We don't go to church/temple, but if we did, I would never agree to let DH go wearing a logo t-shirt and his khaki shorts. I think that's disrespectful for the occasion/venue. That's the kind of appropriate dress I'm seeking.

I know many Americans are very casual, but I strongly prefer he wears his college logo t-shirts at home or at very casual venues. My challenge is that he doesn't currently have anything in-between his date night/wedding outfits and hang out around the house outfits. I need appropriate outfits for a tier below "dressy."

When we went to Italy, I loved seeing Italians "dressed up" and not wearing flip flops, khaki shorts, and logo t-shirts. When we went to Florence (the one touristy town on our trip), I immediately saw Americans dressed like that and they stick out like sore thumbs. I'm trying to find outfits for DH that are a little more polished/sophisticated than logo t-shirts or polo/golf shirts. I don't think polo shirts are dressy either, but they are certainly a step up from logo t-shirts.

Anyhow, I just felt I had to respond to this post because it seemed to imply that DH should get a free pass to look like a slob and I shouldn't force him to dress up just because I felt the occasion warranted dressing nicely.

I guess I misunderstood when you said that he does put on nice shirts and pants for dinners out. I would have thought those would suffice for the other occasions you mentioned?

I can see not wanting logo shirts, but beyond that, I don't see a need for a whole lot of tiers between khakis and a nicer shirt and long sleeve collared shirt and nice pants.

ETA: I think what threw me was your description of "If I'm dressed up in a nice dress". There are very few family functions outside of a wedding, where I would feel the need to wear a dress (or equivalent) and certainly not for a weekend lunch, or even to church, so that feels to me like you are dressing up because you like it, not because the venue calls for it (at least not where we are). He does sound a bit under-dressed, but I don't think this calls for much more than finding a couple of non-logo shirts. If you want him dressed to match you, then have him put on the collared shirt and pants you mentioned before.

[speo]

We are in SoCal. DH usually wears jeans or dressier shorts to family events or regular dinners out with a short sleeve button down. He likes Levi jeans, although I don't think they are likely super comfy. Shorts/tops are from surf/skate brands (Hurley, Billabong, Quiksilver), Prana, or Patagonia. He never wears polos or sweaters. Shoes are nicer flip flops or Vans. He has some nicer sweatshirts, a dark Henley, nicer flannel or jean jacket if it is cold. For date night, he has boots or all black Vans, jeans and a long sleeve button down (usually rolled up sleeves). For casual, he has plain t shirts or simple graphic shirts from the above companies. All shirts are slim fit. Something like these:
https://www.prana.com/virtuoso-short-sleeve.html?colors=gravel
(https://www.prana.com/virtuoso-short-sleeve.html?colors=gravel)https://www.billabong.com/crossfire-x-slub-submersibles-shorts-679370855536.html#cgid=men_clothing_shorts&start=20&hitcount=118

[bisous]

We are in SoCal. DH usually wears jeans or dressier shorts to family events or regular dinners out with a short sleeve button down. He likes Levi jeans, although I don't think they are likely super comfy. Shorts/tops are from surf/skate brands (Hurley, Billabong, Quiksilver), Prana, or Patagonia. He never wears polos or sweaters. Shoes are nicer flip flops or Vans. He has some nicer sweatshirts, a dark Henley, nicer flannel or jean jacket if it is cold. For date night, he has boots or all black Vans, jeans and a long sleeve button down (usually rolled up sleeves). For casual, he has plain t shirts or simple graphic shirts from the above companies. All shirts are slim fit. Something like these:
https://www.prana.com/virtuoso-short-sleeve.html?colors=gravel
(https://www.prana.com/virtuoso-short-sleeve.html?colors=gravel)https://www.billabong.com/crossfire-x-slub-submersibles-shorts-679370855536.html#cgid=men_clothing_shorts&start=20&hitcount=118

Hi neighbor. This doesn't surprise me at all as this is very much how DH dresses. :)

For work my DH wears jeans and a button up. Lately he's had a lot of luck at the J Crew outlet (which is super near my house). I think it is a pretty comfortable and fashionable style and might fit the bill for in between events?

[123LuckyMom]

My DH wears button downs and khakis almost all the time, even to very casual stuff. He even sometimes wears shirts with French cuffs, though he rolls the sleeves if it’s a more casual setting. Sometimes he’ll wear sweaters in winter, sometimes polos in summer, sometimes jeans, but, I kid you not, he wears polos and khakis camping!!!! I’m wearing sweats and an athletic tee with my hair in a pony tail and a baseball cap, and he’s wearing khakis, a leather belt, and a polo (or, if he’s really roughing it, a polo tee) with his hiking boots. He’s not a casual guy in his dress! I feel lucky, though, because he always looks put together, and I never have to worry (except in reverse) that he’s not appropriately dressed. I wouldn’t be happy if my DH were unwilling to dress nicely for a family gathering or a dinner out. I understand what you’re saying, OP. It’s not the most stylish, but I’d start with Lands End. Their clothes are classic bordering on a bit fuddy duddy, but if you’re not super young and aiming for hip and trendy, you really can’t go far wrong with the classics.


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[solsister]

Prana, Patagonia, Lululemon all have nice, comfy pants, and nicer shirts, jackets etc. They look nice, and are comfortable.
I'd go to REI or Dick's sporting goods, and grab some pants and shirts and bring them home, and see if he likes any. I buy
all of my husband's clothes, and bring them home for him, because I like shopping. It's fun for me. It's not fun for him. I'm happy to
take stuff back if he doesn't like it, but he likes pretty much anything I tell him looks nice. He'd be wearing any free t-shirts with
bad jeans, if he didn't have me, and he would not care. Thankfully, I didn't marry him for his fashion sense. ;)

[jbbhb]

We are in SoCal. DH usually wears jeans or dressier shorts to family events or regular dinners out with a short sleeve button down. He likes Levi jeans, although I don't think they are likely super comfy. Shorts/tops are from surf/skate brands (Hurley, Billabong, Quiksilver), Prana, or Patagonia. He never wears polos or sweaters. Shoes are nicer flip flops or Vans. He has some nicer sweatshirts, a dark Henley, nicer flannel or jean jacket if it is cold. For date night, he has boots or all black Vans, jeans and a long sleeve button down (usually rolled up sleeves). For casual, he has plain t shirts or simple graphic shirts from the above companies. All shirts are slim fit. Something like these:
https://www.prana.com/virtuoso-short-sleeve.html?colors=gravel
(https://www.prana.com/virtuoso-short-sleeve.html?colors=gravel)https://www.billabong.com/crossfire-x-slub-submersibles-shorts-679370855536.html#cgid=men_clothing_shorts&start=20&hitcount=118


Hi neighbor. This doesn't surprise me at all as this is very much how DH dresses. :)

For work my DH wears jeans and a button up. Lately he's had a lot of luck at the J Crew outlet (which is super near my house). I think it is a pretty comfortable and fashionable style and might fit the bill for in between events?

Also in Southern California and also exactly how my dh dresses [emoji23]


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[twowhat?]

I would go with a few washed/worn in button down shirts (lots of places have them and they are soft and comfy even though they aren't knits) - J Crew and BR are my DH's favorites. Pair them with slimmer jeans (no baggy jeans) or khakis. Leave the shirt untucked and sleeves unbuttoned and rolled up for more casual (But a step up from athletic wear) or tucked into nicer pants (lightweight wools) for more dressy.

My personal opinion is that polos are pretty un-stylish (especially the pique polos or the ones made out of dri-fit material). However, DH does have some "trendier" polos from BR that are a smooth, thicker pima cotton fabric that look nice.

For summer, throw in a soft linen button-down.

For winter, my DH likes cotton sweaters or thicker cotton (like thermal fabric) tees without a bottom band (he just adds an underlayer for extra warmth).

[speo]

Also in Southern California and also exactly how my dh dresses [emoji23]


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So funny bisous and jbbhb! They are clones. ;)