Opinions about “Hello Neighbor” game?

[bisous]

DS1 (15) and DS2 (11) came home from my SILs house where they played the game “Hello Neighbor”. DS2 is very confused by it. He simultaneously thinks it isn’t a scary menacing game but the premise sounds horrifying. I’m kind of appalled by it. Anyone had any exposure?

Also, I’m irritated that they played video games for 4 hours. Is that an unreasonable expectation for a “play date”?

[jgenie]

I have no idea about the game. For an 11 yr old and 15 yr old, I don’t think that amount of screen time is that unusual. It’s a big reason why we do play dates at our house as often as possible.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

11&15? Totally fine to play video games the whole time. What do you think they should be doing? I usually get my kids to maybe play a board game when they have company but the vast majority of the time is video games. I just want them to play and have fun.

[mom2binsd]

I just asked my 12 year old if he'd heard of it, he hadn't. He plays xbox one sports games and Fortnite (although not as much now). It's rate E for everyone and age 10+.

My son and his buddies would NEVER play for 4 hours straight, they will play video games for about an hour or so, but most days they are playing basketball/football/blitzball or shooting hockey pucks.

They "hang out" for hours, but tend to want to be busy/outside (even in the cold). I came home tonight to four pairs of soaking wet gloves as they made up some type of baseball/football/snowball game.

If it was just this one time I'd not worry about it, but if it seems like they are only playing video games for that many hours I would maybe suggest to your SIL that maybe they could do other things, but whatever you do, don't refer to it as a playdate lol!

As for your son's concern, is he scared easily, the reviews say some mild violence, if he hasn't been exposed to violence in video games/movies then I'm sure he was a bit upset. It's hard when kids of such a wide range hang out/the older ones forget the little ones might have fears.

[TwinFoxes]

I think it's a little unreasonable for a 15 year old to have a play date. I don't know anything about the game. I know I have younger kids, but we don't really have playdates anymore, and at 15 I had a job. Your schools are closed for smoke, right? I just don't think it's a big deal on a one-off kind of day for them to play video games all afternoon. But if you don't like it, set the rules beforehand and don't expect your SIL to just know you have a problem with it. Clearly you have issues with the way your SIL parents (based on this and your booster seat thread). Knowing this, I think you should let her know your expectations up front.

ETA: here's the common sense media listing for the game. It seems like it's more dumb than violent. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews/hello-neighbor

[bisous]

I think it's a little unreasonable for a 15 year old to have a play date. I don't know anything about the game. I know I have younger kids, but we don't really have playdates anymore, and at 15 I had a job. Your schools are closed for smoke, right? I just don't think it's a big deal on a one-off kind of day for them to play video games all afternoon. But if you don't like it, set the rules beforehand and don't expect your SIL to just know you have a problem with it. Clearly you have issues with the way your SIL parents (based on this and your booster seat thread). Knowing this, I think you should let her know your expectations up front.

ETA: here's the common sense media listing for the game. It seems like it's more dumb than violent. https://www.commonsensemedia.org/game-reviews/hello-neighbor

Thanks. It is a different SIL. I love both of them. We are out for smoke so we're spending more time with family than usual. It was a tricky situation because nobody can play outside so I suppose that is totally understandable in retrospect. I used the "wrong word" to describe the interaction mostly out of laziness--I might even have typed this up on my phone. They hung out together. Which is a big kid play date essentially. I think it is ok for teens to hang out, even when they do have school although in normal circumstances DS1 would probably have very little time! Both of my kids came home from their cousins in a really weird mood and I attributed it to the screens. I don't like my kids to be plugged in too long. I think it is probably fine for most kids but we have a lot of ADHD going on in my house and we're careful on screens. For whatever reasons DS2 gets really obsessive if he interacts with the wrong kind of media. During the smoke, he's been playing minecraft again. Maybe it's that. He's 11 now and I think he should be able to play it but seems to have issues. When my kids get together with their friends it really depends on the household. Both of them have friends who only play on screens at their homes and other friends that do a wide variety of activities. We tend to be more like the latter.

I read the writeup on commonsensemedia but it seemed like people either thought it was harmless or quite menacing with very few opinions in between. I wondered if anyone on the BBB had heard of it in any context.

[bisous]

I just asked my 12 year old if he'd heard of it, he hadn't. He plays xbox one sports games and Fortnite (although not as much now). It's rate E for everyone and age 10+.

My son and his buddies would NEVER play for 4 hours straight, they will play video games for about an hour or so, but most days they are playing basketball/football/blitzball or shooting hockey pucks.

They "hang out" for hours, but tend to want to be busy/outside (even in the cold). I came home tonight to four pairs of soaking wet gloves as they made up some type of baseball/football/snowball game.

If it was just this one time I'd not worry about it, but if it seems like they are only playing video games for that many hours I would maybe suggest to your SIL that maybe they could do other things, but whatever you do, don't refer to it as a playdate lol!

As for your son's concern, is he scared easily, the reviews say some mild violence, if he hasn't been exposed to violence in video games/movies then I'm sure he was a bit upset. It's hard when kids of such a wide range hang out/the older ones forget the little ones might have fears.

Yeah, this is kind of how my kids "play" when they get together. DS2 rolls his eyes if I use the term "play date" but he knows it is short hand for hanging out. Seems kind of arbitrary to name it something else although I admit it is a bit of an obnoxious term even for the younger set. :)

DS2 was terrified when DH showed him Stranger Things this past Winter. He does scare really easily.

I guess my issue with the game is that it seems like a rather terrifying concept wrapped up in a kind of "funny" experience and that does bother me. It is essentially about a creepy neighbor that kidnaps someone and you're trying to free that person. Not remotely funny to me but I guess the graphics are silly. I don't know. I'd love to hear a BBB opinion about it!

[magnoliaparadise]

Four hours would be way too much for me on an ongoing basis, whether it be a screen of any kind - a video game or youtube or social media or frankly, even watching TV or a movie. Given your situation, though, I wouldn't say anything. Since the kids can't play outside anyway, consider it an unusual situation and let it go. And even if kids COULD play outside, as a one off, I would let it go. But yes, if my kids went over their cousins' house and continually just sat and did screens every time they got together for four hours in a row and nothing else - that would not be something that I would want.

This is different, mainly because of age group, but DD (1st grade) made a new friend in another grade at a mutual friend's house. The mom and I don't know each other, but realized that we live nearby and the mom invited my DD for a playdate the following week. My DD was so excited. So she went to to the girl's house for about 3 hours one Friday night - it was formal in that the mom and I had made the plans and the mom gave me a start and end time to pick her up. So it wasn't just my kid spontaneously going to a neighbor's house. And it was just my kid and the friend, and the friend's little sibling. And low and behold, when I picked her up, my DD had a great time, but had literally just watched TV the entire time with her new friend, even eating dinner in front of the TV.

It's fine that they watched TV, but I was surprised that they did *nothing* else, particularly if they are new friends and also have to have dinner. I mean... I give my kids TV when their friends are over, but it's usually after they have tired themselves out or become bored or maybe are not getting along extremely well. It's like my salve for social issues. But having the whole playdate just be watching TV when the mom and I orchestrated it (ie not just a neighbor dropping in) and the kids don't know each other well? That would not have been what I personally would have done.

[klwa]

DS has been obsessed with the idea of Hello Neighbor since he first saw any merchandise with it. So, I read up on it. (We still don't have the game but possibly getting it for Christmas.) Honestly, it doesn't seem any worse than the slightly creepy Halloween specials from what I can find. So I dont mind the idea.

[TwinFoxes]

Thanks. It is a different SIL. I love both of them. We are out for smoke so we're spending more time with family than usual. It was a tricky situation because nobody can play outside so I suppose that is totally understandable in retrospect. I used the "wrong word" to describe the interaction mostly out of laziness--I might even have typed this up on my phone. They hung out together. Which is a big kid play date essentially. I think it is ok for teens to hang out, even when they do have school although in normal circumstances DS1 would probably have very little time! Both of my kids came home from their cousins in a really weird mood and I attributed it to the screens. I don't like my kids to be plugged in too long. I think it is probably fine for most kids but we have a lot of ADHD going on in my house and we're careful on screens. For whatever reasons DS2 gets really obsessive if he interacts with the wrong kind of media. During the smoke, he's been playing minecraft again. Maybe it's that. He's 11 now and I think he should be able to play it but seems to have issues. When my kids get together with their friends it really depends on the household. Both of them have friends who only play on screens at their homes and other friends that do a wide variety of activities. We tend to be more like the latter.

I read the writeup on commonsensemedia but it seemed like people either thought it was harmless or quite menacing with very few opinions in between. I wondered if anyone on the BBB had heard of it in any context.

i get the screen/ADHD thing, trust me! But I would make it clear to my kids and SIL my limits. I don’t think it’s odd that your SIL left kids that age to their own devices (pun not intended!) and didn’t monitor their screen time on such a bizarre day. It’s kind of like a snow day here, with the added feature of not being able to burn off energy by playing outside. My kids would have been very stressed being cooped up all day and thinking about the victims. If it were me, I’d let them slide on the screen time limits we usually have in place.

i guess I don’t see how this is on your SIL. Glad it’s not the same one as the booster thread! My SILs both drive me bats for different reasons, so I shouldn’t have assumed you meant the same one.

[megs4413]

My two youngest are obsessed with this game right now. Honestly, it's fine. Nothing violent. Just kinda stupid. They're sneaking around the neighbor's house to try and find objects. I don't think it's very fun or interesting, but they enjoy it. My older son programs mods for it and they play different scenarios that he's programmed. I have a pretty low threshold for what I'll tolerate in a video game and this one doesn't even ping me.

[Kindra178]

Four hours is a perfectly normal amount of time to play video games. At our house, sometimes that's straight and sometimes that's cumulative, with breaks in between for various made up and real sports.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

I think it's a little unreasonable for a 15 year old to have a play date. I don't know anything about the game. I know I have younger kids, but we don't really have playdates anymore, and at 15 I had a job.

?? So 15 year old can't hang out with their friends? Or are you just objecting to it being called a play date?

I have a freshman and I would be thrilled if he had a friend come over. He much prefers socializing over text/skype, however, and it's hard to get him out with friends.

I also have no expectation for him to have a job this year or next. Potentially in the summer the year after... right now he can't drive and I won't be leaving my own job to take him to a low paying job. He has homework and sports and I think that is good.

[TwinFoxes]

?? So 15 year old can't hang out with their friends? Or are you just objecting to it being called a play date?

I have a freshman and I would be thrilled if he had a friend come over. He much prefers socializing over text/skype, however, and it's hard to get him out with friends.

I also have no expectation for him to have a job this year or next. Potentially in the summer the year after... right now he can't drive and I won't be leaving my own job to take him to a low paying job. He has homework and sports and I think that is good.

Do you honestly think I have a problem with fifteen year olds hanging out with friends/cousins? A play date, to me (and I think most people), is something that mommies and daddies arrange and sit around and supervise. My point about a job was fifteen year olds aren't little kids. I don't expect people to make their kids go get jobs. Are you looking for a reason to take this personally?

[bisous]

Do you honestly think I have a problem with fifteen year olds hanging out with friends/cousins? A play date, to me (and I think most people), is something that mommies and daddies arrange and sit around and supervise. My point about a job was fifteen year olds aren't little kids. I don't expect people to make their kids go get jobs. Are you looking for a reason to take this personally?

I kinda thought you were saying that 15yos shouldn’t get together and we’re citing your job at 15 as proof on my first read. Though I used the word “play date” the facts that I put in my post, that my two kids of disparate ages spent time with their cousins seemed like more than enough info to explain the nature of the get together. But I agree to your point that play date is the wrong terminology to use and I decided that even if you think 15yos aren’t allowed to have leisure time well we can just agree to disagree. Your subsequent post clarified your first.

Lots of good points were made in this thread. I think families do things very differently. The most useful point of all was pointing out that my kids might be “off” not so much because of 4 hours of gaming but because they had been kept inside for days in the wake of a very scary and disruptive fire.

I appreciate everyone that shared in this thread.

[bisous]

My two youngest are obsessed with this game right now. Honestly, it's fine. Nothing violent. Just kinda stupid. They're sneaking around the neighbor's house to try and find objects. I don't think it's very fun or interesting, but they enjoy it. My older son programs mods for it and they play different scenarios that he's programmed. I have a pretty low threshold for what I'll tolerate in a video game and this one doesn't even ping me.

Good to know! My SIL is usually a little more permissive than I am about things like this but I really do think she’s a great parent. Her oldest is about 3 years older than mine so her kids are that much more exposed than mine. If that makes sense.

[GaPeach_in_Ca]

Do you honestly think I have a problem with fifteen year olds hanging out with friends/cousins? A play date, to me (and I think most people), is something that mommies and daddies arrange and sit around and supervise. My point about a job was fifteen year olds aren't little kids. I don't expect people to make their kids go get jobs. Are you looking for a reason to take this personally?

I didn’t take it personally. The way I read it didn’t make any sense to me and you’ve clarified that wasn’t what you meant.