Do you know your Xmas Eve or Xmas day plans by now?

[AnnieW625]

Months ago my aunt (dad’s brother’s wife) told us they were switching the annual Xmas Eve Dinner to a Xmas morning brunch, which I told her thanks for telling me. It is now two weeks prior and we haven’t heard what is happening. If I knew for sure it was a brunch that starts right at 9 am and gifts were done by 11 and we were out the door by 12 noon then all would be good, but it most likely be a gourmet brunch cooked by my uncle who is an amazing cook but I doubt we will eat much before 12 noon or two hours after it starts (which is par for the course on Xmas Eve.....event would start at 6:30 we would eat at 8:30 is considered early and we are happy if we leave by 11:30). It is fun, but formal and there are no other kids there my kids age (although my 3 month old cousin will be there this year) but I am kind of annoyed that I don’t have a time or day yet because if we go I have to get 4 $15 White Elephant gifts together and plan an appetizer or cookie plate. Today is my last week day off before Xmas Eve.

We usually go to DH’s aunt and uncles house for Xmas dinner around 3 pm, and tbh it is less stuffy and formal and a good time is had by all.

FWIW: my aunt and uncle’s house is 30 minutes north, and DH’s aunt and uncle’s house is 15 minutes south.


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[jgenie]

Yes, but it’s just our little family. We don’t have family local and it’s expensive for them to travel to us. We won’t travel for Xmas. We do Mass on Christmas Eve with a simple dinner. DH cooks a huge lunch on Xmas Day and the kids and I stay in pjs all day. I take a bath in the morning but put my pjs back on. It’s simple, quiet and so relaxing. We traveled before we had DC but choose not to now that we have DC.


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[carolinacool]

Ours is also really quiet. This year, my parents will come down probably on Christmas Eve and stay a couple of nights. DH almost always puts himself on the schedule to work Christmas Eve evening (he's a manager at the newspaper), so my folks, DS and I will piddle around. Maybe go look at some lights or watch a holiday movie. On Christmas Day after presents, I'll make a big breakfast and we'll piddle around some more. Maybe go see more lights. Dinner I'm not sure about. In the past we've done ham for the boys while my mom and I eat crab legs.

DH's family lives across the country and my family is pretty spread out, so we don't have any big family gatherings.

[basil]

Yeah.
My parents are coming weekend before Xmas. DHs whole family arrives Xmas eve. We will have dinner for 20 people (including my brothers family and his in laws here from Europe). Then Xmas we have about 30 people coming over.

I’m exhausted already.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Same plans as always. We have it finely tuned over the years. :)

[trcy]

Yes, see my bitching post, lol

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[lizzywednesday]

We haven't got plans yet, mostly because I broke my ankle the week before Thanksgiving (and our niece, DH's DB's eldest, broke her foot just after Thanksgiving) ... and DH's SIL isn't getting along with MIL right now.

Honestly, we'd still be texting and making phone calls the week before, but it's not as big of a deal - MIL & FIL's home is a ~5 minute drive while BIL/SIL is ~3 minutes.

What we have done in the past is go to the children's service (4pm) and then back to BIL's for dinner on Christmas Eve, with a casual brunch-ish gathering on Christmas Day at either BIL's or MIL's.

[AnnieW625]

Same plans as always. We have it finely tuned over the years. :)

See this is how I have felt less the three years we went home to Sacramento, but even then it was like it was when I was before I moved away. Predictable and easy to plan. Our current plans were sort of like this as well, but now we have to figure out if we want to go to 4 pm mass and then have a nice dinner at home and open gifts (Santa will still have to come in the AM) or go to morning mass at 9 or 10:30 am, which would also be a first because DD1 isn’t singing at 4 pm mass. Just a lot up in the air I guess and I would like to know by now what is up.


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[pharmjenn]

We sort of know our plans. I am working Christmas Eve night (6th night in a row, but they "allowed" me Christmas night off), so no time for Church either Christmas Eve or morning. We will probably go out to dinner Christmas Eve, just us, then in the morning open gifts and I will crash for a few hours. Over to MIL sometime that day for dinner, but there is no info on time, menu, or whether a white elephant or not. SIL wants a simple dinner of pasta so MIL (or SIL) doesn't have to cook.

[bisous]

Yeah.
My parents are coming weekend before Xmas. DHs whole family arrives Xmas eve. We will have dinner for 20 people (including my brothers family and his in laws here from Europe). Then Xmas we have about 30 people coming over.

I’m exhausted already.

So I personally love big family events like this but from your prior posts that sounds like an enormous amount of work!!! Hope you are able to have some fun and relaxation!

[bisous]

OP, can you contact your aunt and get some details about the time? I don’t think you should feel obligated to stay beyond the time that would allow you attend your other regularly scheduled event. That’s set and has been for a while!

Since you’ll be busy with extended family all day on Christmas I think you should work out a low key relaxing Christmas Eve with whatever things you enjoy most doing with your girls. :)

[AnnieW625]

Dupliacte

[mommy111]

I would just send out a text and ask?

[KpbS]

Same as always, but still don't know when our extended family will come to visit. Hopefully the 26th or soon after.

We go to Christmas Eve candlelight services and kids have an appetizer meal before we go. Get home, kids open 1 present. Go to bed. Adults eat Cioppino, salad, bread, and dessert then I wrap for hours. :rotflmao:

[KrisM]

We generally know, as we do Christmas Eve with my family. I'm not sure if it's at my house or my brother's yet though. He is horrible at communicating lately, so I've asked, but have not heard anything back yet.

[marinkitty]

We'll be on vacation - have no idea what we will actually be doing that day - but we don't have any family plans to coordinate. I'd just shoot your aunt and email and ask her.

[petesgirl]

Ours will be rather quiet and small, since DH has to work the day vefore and the day after. He probably won't be home until super late on Christmas Eve, so I'll probably just do hot chocolate and a movie with the kids. Christmas Day will be a lot of relaxing and enjoying presents/each other. We will do a fancy dinner at 5 with some friends and the sister missionaries from our church.

[essnce629]

I have no idea what we're doing yet. We usually all meet up at my grandma's house in Riverside. We used to go Christmas Eve and spend the night to be there for Christmas Day, but as the kids have gotten bigger there's no room and my extended family gets annoyed at my kids having so many gifts (they're the only kids and we always brought all our gifts from home plus Santa). I think we figured out the best solution last year. Get a hotel near my grandma's 2 nights before Christmas, spend all day Christmas Eve at my grandma's (this is when we make tamales), and then head home Christmas Eve night so we can wake up Christmas morning here and not have to bring all our gifts with us. My mom came back with us last year too and it was really nice just the 5 of us Christmas Day. My mom's side is Mexican so we don't have a big fancy meal Christmas Day. We make tamales Christmas Eve and eat them then. Christmas Day is more tamales and just lounging around in pajamas all day and opening presents.

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[niccig]

We're hosting close friends. Both families need a low-key, no stress Christmas. I haven't set the exact time with them, but typically it's about 11 to 5 or 6. I've told everyone it's yoga pants or jeans/hoodies kinda of celebration. Simple food and lots of relaxing.

[khalloc]

Sort of. I will probably visit my parents for 2 nights before Xmas. Maybe stay Sat and Sunday nights. Drive home early on Xmas eve. Xmas day we chill out at our house, though I heard my MIL wants to have Xmas at her house. She just moved to a small house since its just her now. I honestly dont mind going, but at the same time I DO. I love my in-laws, but I feel like DH complains about going to my family's (we have to stay overnight there since they live 4 hours away), and I am always nice about going to his family's things. I feel like saying no. But my kids will have fun seeing their cousins. So we'll go. I just hope they dont expect it to before 1pm. I like to chill out at my own house Xmas morning.

[marymoo86]

We go to ILs the weekend before and do Christmas Eve/Day at home. Mom comes up to see the kids on Christmas.

I hate traveling around on Christmas so we just don't do it. Of course, this will need to change when mom isn't able to drive but hopefully by then the kids will be big enough, it won't be a problem.

[vonfirmath]

No. But we are flexible. We have general ideas of what is happening but it is not nailed down to what happens when.

I'd prefer it be nailed down. But my sister doesn't make plans as far out so I try to hang loose when I can and make sure our plans can adjust as needed.

[LBW]

Not really, and I'm OK with that. We know we are driving to Savannah to visit the in laws. Beyond, that I'm not sure what our plans are. I've asked my husband to tell them to make brunch or dinner reservations since I don't want to do all of the shopping, cooking, and cleaning. (My MIL can't help b/c her health isn't great, and getting my husband, FIL, or boys to help is more stress/work for me.)

OP: In your situation, I'd just ask. Your aunt already mentioned brunch. So just check with her and see if she has an idea of times yet. If she doesn't have her plans firmed up, she may even ask you what times work for you.

[AnnieW625]

Thanks all for the feedback. I found last year’s email about Xmas eve dinner and she sent it on the 18th. This wouldn’t bother me much except it is something new, and I don’t know what to expect.

I don’t want to email her because then she will expect that we are coming and there is a huge chance we won’t go if the timing is later than preferred 9-10 am start time due to the other family party we go to in the afternoon.


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[klwa]

Xmas Eve, we're going to my in-laws for supper. Christmas Day, we're at home. It's the rule. :) (My SILs and I worked out the date for my dad's Christmas at Thanksgiving, more because i forced the issue, since I'm the only one of us who has to travel over 10 miles. I made sure it worked with the one niece who generally comes from far away, too. Note, her MOM didn't check with her. *sigh* We're doing our thing the weekend before Christmas this year.)

[AnnieW625]

So here is the update.

I finally happened to mention that I didn’t know what was happening with Xmas Eve to my Grandma last week and she told me they moved it to Christmas Day and it was going to start at 3.

As of Friday afternoon my aunt texts me and tells me it is happening at 4 pm and she will send me an email with the details.

I am stalling at responding to her because I am pretty sure we won’t be able to make it because not going to DH’s extended family event (unless we are visiting my parents in NorCal) is not negotiable, but no invite for that had officially been said either (dh’s cousin just had his first baby on Tuesday, aunt’s birthday is 12/23, and DH’s grandma turned 98 on Wednesday) but we are 99% sure it is happening so I have DH text his uncle who confirms Xmas day is at 5 pm. (FWIW: DH’s family event is hosted by his aunt and uncle who are Dd1’s god parents and my pseudo in laws, plus aunt’s brother and family, aunt’s brother in law (her sister died in October), and a few of DH’s second cousins. My inlaws have yet to make it to Xmas...we will see them on Saturday).

In the mean time my aunt has texted me back and wants to know if I got the email she sent yesterday, which I didn’t and I give her my email and she sends it...it turns out she has forgotten to include me in the original email. She also said we were responsible for bringing $25/ per person in white elephant style gifts (it used to be between $15-$20), and appetizers for 19. The whole thing was really off putting especially with 3 days notice, and tbh there should be no price on white elephant gifts.

So even though we aren’t going for Xmas eve and my kids often complain about the late meal time and the overall stuffiness of Xmas eve at my uncle’s house DD1 sounded very sad at the thought of being home on Xmas Eve (we just had a nice “fancy” dinner with my parents last night who left this AM after spending the weekend with us for Dd1’s Nutcracker Ballet) want to so dh and I decided we would go out to eat tonight (this is a first for me as well) at a nice steak place near our house after church, and then we will probably watch a Xmas movie, put the kids to bed and then wrap the remainder of the presents. We plan on surprising the kids with dinner after church.

[vonfirmath]

So here is the update.

I finally happened to mention that I didn’t know what was happening with Xmas Eve to my Grandma last week and she told me they moved it to Christmas Day and it was going to start at 3.

As of Friday afternoon my aunt texts me and tells me it is happening at 4 pm and she will send me an email with the details.

I am stalling at responding to her because I am pretty sure we won’t be able to make it because not going to DH’s extended family event (unless we are visiting my parents in NorCal) is not negotiable, but no invite for that had officially been said either (dh’s cousin just had his first baby on Tuesday, aunt’s birthday is 12/23, and DH’s grandma turned 98 on Wednesday) but we are 99% sure it is happening so I have DH text his uncle who confirms Xmas day is at 5 pm. (FWIW: DH’s family event is hosted by his aunt and uncle who are Dd1’s god parents and my pseudo in laws, plus aunt’s brother and family, aunt’s brother in law (her sister died in October), and a few of DH’s second cousins. My inlaws have yet to make it to Xmas...we will see them on Saturday).

In the mean time my aunt has texted me back and wants to know if I got the email she sent yesterday, which I didn’t and I give her my email and she sends it...it turns out she has forgotten to include me in the original email. She also said we were responsible for bringing $25/ per person in white elephant style gifts (it used to be between $15-$20), and appetizers for 19. The whole thing was really off putting especially with 3 days notice, and tbh there should be no price on white elephant gifts.

So even though we aren’t going for Xmas eve and my kids often complain about the late meal time and the overall stuffiness of Xmas eve at my uncle’s house DD1 sounded very sad at the thought of being home on Xmas Eve (we just had a nice “fancy” dinner with my parents last night who left this AM after spending the weekend with us for Dd1’s Nutcracker Ballet) want to so dh and I decided we would go out to eat tonight (this is a first for me as well) at a nice steak place near our house after church, and then we will probably watch a Xmas movie, put the kids to bed and then wrap the remainder of the presents. We plan on surprising the kids with dinner after church.

Actually most white elephants I have been to suggest a price range for it. To avoid any gifts that are much better/much worse than the norm. (Though usually that number is $10. I have heard $25. ANd $25 does make sense for a family party. One $25 gift for each member of our family would be cheaper than the gifts we're giving to all the relatives this year... most of which are checks or gift cards) But yes, with three days notice right before Chrismtas I couldn't do that. Your other plans make a nice out.

[jgenie]

So here is the update.

I finally happened to mention that I didn’t know what was happening with Xmas Eve to my Grandma last week and she told me they moved it to Christmas Day and it was going to start at 3.

As of Friday afternoon my aunt texts me and tells me it is happening at 4 pm and she will send me an email with the details.

I am stalling at responding to her because I am pretty sure we won’t be able to make it because not going to DH’s extended family event (unless we are visiting my parents in NorCal) is not negotiable, but no invite for that had officially been said either (dh’s cousin just had his first baby on Tuesday, aunt’s birthday is 12/23, and DH’s grandma turned 98 on Wednesday) but we are 99% sure it is happening so I have DH text his uncle who confirms Xmas day is at 5 pm. (FWIW: DH’s family event is hosted by his aunt and uncle who are Dd1’s god parents and my pseudo in laws, plus aunt’s brother and family, aunt’s brother in law (her sister died in October), and a few of DH’s second cousins. My inlaws have yet to make it to Xmas...we will see them on Saturday).

In the mean time my aunt has texted me back and wants to know if I got the email she sent yesterday, which I didn’t and I give her my email and she sends it...it turns out she has forgotten to include me in the original email. She also said we were responsible for bringing $25/ per person in white elephant style gifts (it used to be between $15-$20), and appetizers for 19. The whole thing was really off putting especially with 3 days notice, and tbh there should be no price on white elephant gifts.

So even though we aren’t going for Xmas eve and my kids often complain about the late meal time and the overall stuffiness of Xmas eve at my uncle’s house DD1 sounded very sad at the thought of being home on Xmas Eve (we just had a nice “fancy” dinner with my parents last night who left this AM after spending the weekend with us for Dd1’s Nutcracker Ballet) want to so dh and I decided we would go out to eat tonight (this is a first for me as well) at a nice steak place near our house after church, and then we will probably watch a Xmas movie, put the kids to bed and then wrap the remainder of the presents. We plan on surprising the kids with dinner after church.

It’s times like this when it’s so nice to live far from everyone. We’re spending today playing and reading. Mass at 4:00 then picking up a curry for dinner at home. We’ll sit and watch a movie before bed. We’ll talk to everyone on the phone tomorrow but we don’t have to go anywhere or do anything. Kids would love a crazy noisy family gathering but DH and I are content with the quiet.

[AnnieW625]

Actually most white elephants I have been to suggest a price range for it. To avoid any gifts that are much better/much worse than the norm. (Though usually that number is $10. I have heard $25. ANd $25 does make sense for a family party. One $25 gift for each member of our family would be cheaper than the gifts we're giving to all the relatives this year... most of which are checks or gift cards) But yes, with three days notice right before Chrismtas I couldn't do that. Your other plans make a nice out.

Thanks! I do get it, but honestly if I am spending $25 on a gift I want something in return I will use. Most years we have crazy fun and the gifts are fun and last year we got a squatty potty, which we have used, but there isn’t much in the $25 price range I would really want other than store gift cards that might be considered white elephant material imho, and $25 seems like the next level up and would take awhile for me to think of and assemble.

We buy gifts for my aunt and uncle, and my Grandma all of who attend the party, but the party is also attended by my aunt and uncle’s close friends so people we don’t buy gifts for.



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