Summer, teens and phones

[Twoboos]

Only two weeks of school left here. I am struggling with what to do about DDs this summer. They are 13 and 15, and basically don't have any plans. The camps they wanted conflicted with our vacas, family visiting, or friends weren't available to do them (won't do them alone :rolleye0014:).

What can I do to keep them doing engaged and reduce phone time over the summer? I am trying to remember if I just sat around and watched TV all summer long - I don't think so I had a job starting in 8th grade. Jobs are tough to find for that age group here, plus we are away for like 3 weeks total so not sure how that would go over with employers. I have sent out emails to the nhood in the past offering babysitting, etc., with no response.

I see how much they are on their phones now watching shows, youtube, tictok (new for them just recently) not to mention all the social medias and I am completely stressing out over it. I get this is how they relax/unwind but it needs to be reigned in and I'm at a loss. They need something to do.

Yes I have done a bad job with this so far.

[georgiegirl]

My 13 year old DD likes to hang out with neighbors. Cooking/baking is one of their goal areas this summer. Yesterday DD and a neighbor made a chocolate merengue cake and today they are planning on fettuccine Alfredo. (Plus DD has swim practice.). She also has some babysitting jobs in the neighborhood and plans on going to the local pool with friends.

[gymnbomb]

My mom’s rule was that I had to do something “productive” in the summer. Basically that meant I needed a plan so I wouldn’t be sitting around the house all day complaining that I was bored. Over the years it included things like doing a sport, going to camp, babysitting on a regular basis, taking a class (academic or not), volunteering at the library, going on trips with our church, etc. It was my job to figure out what my productive thing was, and my parents ok’d pretty much any reasonable plan.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

Get them out of the house. We aren’t religious but a low key (aka wouldn’t try to convert my kids nor really care about their religious status) has fabulous teen summer programs that encourage volunteerism. Look at your local United Way website for other opportunities. One thing there is no shortage of in the summer around me are races, like 5ks, and they all need helpers to do things like pass out water. Make them get involved and be useful.
Get them out of the house by being active too. Set a step goal each day. Have them go to the local pool, if you have one.


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[twowhat?]

Man, I hear ya! Mine aren't teens yet but summers are hard because they're too old for the preschool-based all day camps (and in general all-day camps here are mostly younger kids and mine just DO NOT want to hang with little kids), and too young to do things like babysitting or pet-sitting without parent oversight. And I do want our kids to have downtime and be a little lazy in the summer.

DH and I work from home which almost makes it harder because we aren't forced to just sign them up for a little-kid camp, but working from home does not mean we can entertain them - we can make their breakfast and lunch, we can generally get them to/from part-day camps (though that's a serious juggle between me and DH too due to phone calls, travel, etc) and that's it. So I've signed them up for some part-day camps that I hope will trend more towards older kids (and really, they will just have to suck it up). My parents will take them for a week. We will have a week gone for vacation (and maybe a few days more I hope) and we plan to have neighbor kid over for a few full days but otherwise they're on their own. On FB I see a few interesting things, like a lady who does a sewing camp for kids, or the high school choir that does a week-long singing camp for kids.

We do have a pool.

We have strict screen time rules over the school year but summers are more lax. They spend lots of time on their iPads (playing games) but youtube and social media are forbidden. It's hard to get them out of the house if we can't go with them because they're pretty much limited to just walking to the school playground on their own.

Oh and I force more chores on them - stuff that has to be done before they lose themselves in their iPads.

So...following!

[mom2binsd]

Do you have a community pool, get a membership and they can spend a couple of hours a day there, they are old enough to be dropped off. Have them bike to places like DQ etc. Volunteer at a hospital?

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[essnce629]

Your 15 year old can probably get a job! My 15 year old just got a work permit from school 2 weeks ago and plans to look for a job walking distance from our house (we have a mall, movie theater, etc). He's also being a CIT at a computer camp he attended for several years as a camper. Unfortunately it's only for 2 weeks (camp policy).

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[♥ms.pacman♥]

My DH is home with kids this summer and Mine are nowhere near teens but (going into 3rd and 4th grade) but DH implemented a points system to get kids motivated to do stuff (chores, worksheets, reading ) vs screen time. School here has been out for over a week here and It has been pretty darn effective...I am amazed how much my kids are playing and doing things around the house.

Granted My kids do not have phones or social media yet, and we do not even have a gaming system either.
Ds does have a laptop we put in a timer on it and restricted hours of use. Also, rewards in point system is trinkets and toys like from dollar store - works for elementary age, I’m sure for teens would have to do something different.

For us what has also helped is hanging out at community pool as another PP suggested - have done this twice already in one week - they get to hang out with their friends and classmates from school and I get to chat with the other moms, and kids are getting 3 hours of exercise, real-life socialization and outside time and they are not on their screens! Win-win. by 13 they could be unsupervised so parent doesn’t have to be there. I see a decent amount of groups of teens at community pool hanging out, ordering pizza, etc

[jgenie]

Man, I hear ya! Mine aren't teens yet but summers are hard because they're too old for the preschool-based all day camps (and in general all-day camps here are mostly younger kids and mine just DO NOT want to hang with little kids), and too young to do things like babysitting or pet-sitting without parent oversight. And I do want our kids to have downtime and be a little lazy in the summer.

DH and I work from home which almost makes it harder because we aren't forced to just sign them up for a little-kid camp, but working from home does not mean we can entertain them - we can make their breakfast and lunch, we can generally get them to/from part-day camps (though that's a serious juggle between me and DH too due to phone calls, travel, etc) and that's it. So I've signed them up for some part-day camps that I hope will trend more towards older kids (and really, they will just have to suck it up). My parents will take them for a week. We will have a week gone for vacation (and maybe a few days more I hope) and we plan to have neighbor kid over for a few full days but otherwise they're on their own. On FB I see a few interesting things, like a lady who does a sewing camp for kids, or the high school choir that does a week-long singing camp for kids.

We do have a pool.

We have strict screen time rules over the school year but summers are more lax. They spend lots of time on their iPads (playing games) but youtube and social media are forbidden. It's hard to get them out of the house if we can't go with them because they're pretty much limited to just walking to the school playground on their own.

Oh and I force more chores on them - stuff that has to be done before they lose themselves in their iPads.

So...following!

O/T - do you not let the use youtube at all or only with a parent present? We’re low screen here but I’m considering giv8ng them a bit more access over the summer. Trying to figure out what that would include for my kids. I think our DC are similar ages.

[JBaxter]

Mine is taking an online class ( Spanish 3 so he can not have to deal with the same Spanish teacher he had for Spanish 2)and basically nothing. He is still recovering from a broken toe ( big toe cracked vertically through the growth plate) I cant really take his internet because he uses it through the day to do his class. Its gonna be a LONG summer

[bcafe]

Mine have a few camps mixed into the summer, along with soccer practice and a summer lifting program, but otherwise, not a ton going on. We have a great pool at our health club and they all go with the sitter (We need a sitter mostly for driving and watch the 2 younger kids). Anyway, it's not a hill I am choosing to die on this summer. As long as they get out of the house....

[twowhat?]

O/T - do you not let the use youtube at all or only with a parent present? We’re low screen here but I’m considering giv8ng them a bit more access over the summer. Trying to figure out what that would include for my kids. I think our DC are similar ages.

I will occasionally allow youtube on our family room TV (using Apple TV) but only things that I approve of and search up myself. Examples - they like some of the James Corden musical skits, that kind of stuff.

I will occasionally allow them to watch something from a vetted channel (and they have to ask first) on their iPads. No searching on YouTube on their own. All screens have to remain in public areas of the house. No screens are allowed up into their bedrooms at bedtime (no screens allowed upstairs in their room in private at all) - they have to be plugged in downstairs in a designated location. When they have friends come over for sleepovers, the friends are subjected to the same rules.

Any suspicious behavior (e.g. quickly closing or switching screens when I appear) results in a history search. And yes, I have caught them looking at inappropriate things when I search their history and it results in loss of screen privileges for a while.

They have to ask before they use Google to search anything. Kiddle.com is fine for them to search on their own.

Social media is 100% off limits, and we even shut off any messaging function on games they might play (like Roblox, Minecraft).

Given that even with these rules they will find a way to make their way to something age-inappropriate, I do not feel like relaxing the rules for the summer other than to let them have more time than during the school year (we do 30 minutes/day during school days). They have friends who have what seems like unlimited access to the internet (and it's the internet I have a problem with - more than screens themselves), and that's just so, so dangerous. These kids are online at all hours.

I've explained to my kids that it doesn't make them bad when they feel tempted to break the rules - that's normal kid stuff - but that the reason I have the rules is to protect them from seeing things that their brains are not developed enough to see, and that these things can be extremely scary. I remind them that when they are older and their brains have had more time to mature, then they will be more ready to see things things and make appropriate conclusions about them.

Ugh, I HATE the internet!