If your DC go(es) to private school, how long is the commute?

[ourbabygirl]

Also, how long is your drive if they don't attend private school, but you don't have bussing?

I'm wondering how far people are willing to drive before the commute becomes a deal-breaker. Did you just look at schools relatively close to you, or were you willing to drive quite a bit further to send them to an exceptional school? (if you couldn't change where you live)

Thanks in advance for your responses!

[KpbS]

We homeschool now (so no commute :ROTFLMAO:) but have driven to private school that was 15 minutes away, 10 minutes away, and would now be 20-25 minutes (easy) with traffic if we were attending.

[smilequeen]

With my youngest we drive 15-20 minutes depending on traffic. My older two go to school very close. 7 minutes or so, although there can be some serious traffic at the beginning of the year as there are about 5 private HS and a public HS within that same radius and it takes some time for people to figure it out.

We drove 30+ minutes for a few years when they were all at one school and it wore on me. It was part of the reason we moved. Distance was originally a factor. We lived far out and there wasn’t anything closer. Now we live where the bulk of the schools are anyway.

[AnnieW625]

My Dd1 goes to a diocesan Catholic school that is 2.5 miles from our house. If we were staying in this area and she went to Catholic high school she would most likely go to the Catholic high school in the downtown area of the neighboring big city and that is about 8 miles away. We would have to carpool or she would have to take the bus to make that work. Neither DH or I work in that area, but we would make it work if we had to.

When we move next year we will most likely be living in a 5 mile radius of the two potential private high schools we will consider for Dd1 (one Catholic, one Christian) and tbh the Christian high school will be slightly more convenient for DH. FWIW Dd1 is also considering public and we hope to be walking distance to either of our options. We could also be walking distance to either private option as well, but we haven’t 100% decided on a specific area yet.


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[Zukini]

DS currently goes to a private school for kids on the spectrum about 12 miles, partially on highway with tolls, and 25 minutes one way without traffic or 1hr 10 minutes round trip in traffic from our home. Next year we are switching to a regular K-8 private school that is very inclusive but it’s 18 miles, highway with tolls again but towards downtown. I expect about 40 minutes one way without traffic and close to 2 hrs round trip with traffic. Twice a day! It’s a huge sacrifice and is affecting my own choices about what I can accomplish personally. I’m working on some ideas in that regard. But it’s the absolute best thing for him.

We cannot defer public kindergarten and they would place him in General Ed with questionable supports as a summer birthday / young 5 boy, speech delayed / sensory stuff going on and no outside aide allowed / district aide assigned. We spent 7 months in public special education preschool at age 3, and he made almost no progress and the process was a joke (my non verbal 3 year old got 15 minutes of individual speech therapy every 6 weeks on his IEP! We were doing 1.5 hours of private speech a week and it wasn’t enough). He would get lost in the system, until he has a meltdown and then we’d have other issues. Frankly, I’d rather drive him to a school we love than walk to one that I’m fighting for him to get something better than mediocre. He will now get to repeat Pre-K and firmly establish those social and communication and academic readiness skills - with a dedicated aide shadowing him for most of the school day.

We love our home and neighborhood, and we’d have to get a much smaller, much less updated home for a similar or higher price to be closer in to the city.

[jgenie]

We are less than 15 minutes from school. Our local public school is about 10 minutes away. We have students that commute over an hour each way to get to school.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Not k-12 but we did choose a private preschool 20 minutes away when there were a gazillion of fine options closer (that in hindsight we should have chosen and saved $$!). I wouldn’t personally drive farther. But, as I said, we live somewhere with lots of choices. We aren’t in a rural area where driving 20 minutes is a short commute.



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[Dayzy]

My kids are only a 5 minute drive from our house (catholic school) but they are on the bus for 30 minutes because they are the 1st stop and then arrive to school before the doors open so they sit on the bus 10-15 minutes.
My friend who lives nearby sends her kids to s Catholic school on the other side of the county and it's about 30-40 minutes each way on the bus for them.

[firstbaby]

My youngest is in a private, university model school where he goes 2 days a week and is homeschooled 3 days a week. His school is 12-15 minutes each way. It's very doable but waiting in the drop off / pick up line can add 10-15 minutes on each side if everyone shows up at once.

My oldest is in public HS but he's not at our zoned school. He has bus transportation to / from but if he stays after, the transportation is on us. He plays sports and needs to work with teachers often after school. It's about 20 minutes each way. After doing that drive 2-5 days a week (during sports season it's 5 days a week), this is really the most driving we can really do while balancing jobs / other kids / activities.

[carolinamama]

Depending on traffic, DS2's school is about 20-35 minutes away. DS1 also went to this school for elementary. DD's school is about 25 minutes from our house. DD's school is about 12-15 minutes from DS2's so I usually do a loop in the morning and afternoon. It's a crazy amount of time over the years getting kids to and from school but it has worked out the best for them. DS1 came back to our public school for middle school. He walks with most of the other zillion neighborhood kids to school (elementary and middle are right next to eachother) and loves it. I must admit that I've had my occasional qualms about him going there, but his quality of life has improved since he isn't stuck in a car during the day. We moved to this neighborhood for the public schools and use them minimally at this point.

Bottom line, I think that it all depends on your kids as well as you school and family circumstances. Many people think my daily driving is crazy but my kids are thriving and it's been the right decision.

[Percycat]

I think this is going to depend on the school and why you want to send your child to the school. My DD attended a private school in our area that focuses on helping high ability children with dyslexia and other learning differences. We drove 20 minutes each way, but some families drove 90 minutes! and some families moved.

We are looking at private high school, but the school we are considering is right next door to DH's work and is 10 minutes from our house.

[ezcc]

I drive 15-20 min, which does get to be a bit of a drag. We have carpooled and will again in the fall and that definitely helps. I do know people who drive really far distances for schools. Like an hour each way in some cases.

[mmsmom]

After 7 years of having a school bus, DS is going to private school next year. The school does have busses though we still have to drive him to the pick up location. It is 10 minutes to bus location and 20 to school. I like that they have busses that leave at 3 different times in the afternoon so they can still take bus even if they stay after school. We are doing the bus next year but will probably switch to carpooling the following year when DD goes as well since the bus fee will be a lot for 2. Something to consider is how long the actual drop off/pick up takes in addition to the commute time. I don’t know yet for us but the carpool line can also add a lot of time.

[mnj77]

About 30-35 minutes. We're used to it. Definitely willing to drive for an exceptional school.

[Liziz]

I'm assuming this is because you're considering a school that's a further distance away. I just wanted to suggest a consideration from my experience as a kid --

I went to a Catholic school that was about 20 minutes drive from my house. It wasn't a terrible drive and I don't remember hating being in the car all the time or anything. But, the VAST majority of kids at my school lived much closer -- like 5-10 minutes, tops. Although I went to school there for 5 years, I was always considered the "outsider"' by many -- I missed out on play opportunities and things like that where other kids would walk to each other's houses, ride bikes, etc. We sometimes had people decline playdate offers at my house because "oh, you just live so far away!". I think many private schools, unlike Catholic schools, draw from a wider community area and this might not be such a big deal, but it's probably worth it to consider in your research. I know as a parent, we have specifically made an effort to live close to our schools because we want to avoid that outsider effect for our kids (and ourselves! My mom now tells me it was a struggle for her to get to know parents at the school for the same reason).

[DualvansMommy]

I think this is going to depend on the school and why you want to send your child to the school. My DD attended a private school in our area that focuses on helping high ability children with dyslexia and other learning differences. We drove 20 minutes each way, but some families drove 90 minutes! and some families moved.

We are looking at private high school, but the school we are considering is right next door to DH's work and is 10 minutes from our house.

Agree with this. We send DS1 at a private non secular preschool that is also K-12. We liked the school, campus was beautiful, etc but the 19 miles drive was killer for me though, and it’s on all us to do drop-offs and pick ups. It usually took me anywhere 20-35 mins which just wasn’t feasible to do 2x a day. We switched schools to our public district for 1st grade to give it a chance, and never looked back! Just the many options we can have; walk, drive or let DS1 ride the bus is just so helpful in our daily logistics. This is especially more so now that I returned to work PT last year, if we wanted DS1 to remain at his private school, it really would limit my career job choices as would have to think about either drop off or pick up.


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[HannaAddict]

Independent schools here (private) and commute times have basically doubled in the last three years with the tens of thousands flooding our city and all with their out of state license plates. Used to be 15-20 minutes to elementary now 30 or more on a bad day. To the middle/high school it was 20 minutes but now 30-45 or longer if need to go to an event at night and through hell on earth rush hour. The city has been ruined on so many levels with the tremendous growth. We love our schools and haven’t found a house worth moving closer to them yet. They draw from even longer commutes and even some kids who take ferries. All our commutes are on surface streets and it used to be so easy!


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[flashy09]

25 minutes.

[ourbabygirl]

Thanks, Everyone!

Yeah, I went to the local public school until high school, then went to a private Catholic school and drove an hour each way, so I know what you mean about the outsider effect (luckily my friends and I could drive when I went there, and I had a couple of good friends/ brave souls, + a boyfriend who were willing to make the trek up to our house)!
We moved last year and we're open-enrolling our kids in the old school district (used to take buses, and schools were about 15 minutes from our house, now we drive or drop them off at the closest bus stop, so it's a 20 min. drive to school or 10 min. to take them to the bus stop).
The school district is rated more highly than the one that we moved into, but I think it's just because of the higher SES of so many people in the district, so the test scores are better. Not sure I want to keep the kids there (although of course now they're tied to their friends), and I figure, if we're driving, anyhow, I'd like to check out the private schools in the area to get more character education and other benefits of a religious school.
I don't want to pay tuition, but if I can find a school that seems awesome, and get a job there, we could get a tuition discount and they could ride with me. We're definitely doing more driving this year, with my job, kids involved in more sports, and with them getting older, they're getting together with friends much more often, so we're putting a lot of miles on the car. That extra 5 minutes does feel like a big thing to me and probably the other parents, so I usually drive the kids. Just wondering how feasible it would be to drive even further, x 3 kids, once I'm back to work full time in a year or so, and DH travels a bit for his job. :shrug:

[SnuggleBuggles]

I’d send them to your local public schools and call it a day. I’m sure they get good character development at home. [emoji4] Save the money, save the time and become part of your community. We finally returned to our home district a few years ago after charters and private schools and I wish we’d been here all along! There really is just something about going to school with your neighbors and all working together to support the kids and teachers here. Sorry, I just had to give my sales pitch!!

Eta- my ds1 does a ton of activities at high school. I am grateful every day that it only takes me 5 minutes to get him! Sometimes all I’m doing is bringing him food or a change of clothes between activities too. The amount of extra driving I do for him in hs is more than at any point in his life.

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[westwoodmom04]

Ours are 15 minutes away, maybe 20 to 30 of there is an accident backing things up. It isn’t very long but we are always looking at schools in walking or a less than 5 minute drive because between drop offs/pick ups, sports practices and games, I sometimes drive that route three to five times a day. Our public assigned schools, however, would be just as far, maybe a bit farther, as my kids are no longer in elementary and the public middle and high schools a much larger population.

[AnnieW625]

I’d send them to your local public schools and call it a day. I’m sure they get good character development at home. [emoji4] Save the money, save the time and become part of your community. We finally returned to our home district a few years ago after charters and private schools and I wish we’d been here all along! There really is just something about going to school with your neighbors and all working together to support the kids and teachers here. Sorry, I just had to give my sales pitch!!

Eta- my ds1 does a ton of activities at high school. I am grateful every day that it only takes me 5 minutes to get him! Sometimes all I’m doing is bringing him food or a change of clothes between activities too. The amount of extra driving I do for him in hs is more than at any point in his life.

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Yes I very much agree with the above statement. We are moving an hour away next year and I am thinking the same thing. I don’t want to be schlepping my kids all over the county just to have the best education money can buy. I want to live in the same less than 5 mile radius of whatever school we chose. I want them at a good school, but I don’t want them to be in a pressure cooker situation especially with Dd1. She is probably an honors track all AP class kind of kid but I want her to have real high school experiences and not be trying to finish college before she even starts college (I have heard from many kids I know who go through these high intense college prep programs in my area, plus my cousin who went to Miami U in Ohio from a well known IB program in the Bay Area of CA that high school was harder than her freshman year of college). I want my kids to know the neighborhood kids as well.


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[123LuckyMom]

My kids go to our excellent public schools, and the elementary school is very close. For summer camps, though, I will regularly have a 45-60 minute drive so they can have specialized experiences (like horseback riding) at prices we can afford. Some of the specialized camps in our town are appallingly expensive, but a few towns over, the prices are halved, and the instruction is just as good. That’s only a few weeks in the summer, though, and my kids’ social groups aren’t based on the kids at those camps. For school, it’s not the toll of the drive on me that would be a concern (though that gets old fast!) but rather who their friends would be and where they would live. I’d want my kids to have friends they could see outside of school and for their sports teams to compete in our general area. I think a 15 minute drive is far enough for school, but that’s only due to wanting my kids to go to a local school with kids who also live in our town. If all the schools in your area have kids coming from distances, then it’s really just about how far you’re willing to drive each day. I think my limit would be 30-40 minutes unless it were a really special school for a particular reason, like the PP’s school for kids on the spectrum.


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[DualvansMommy]

I’d send them to your local public schools and call it a day. I’m sure they get good character development at home. [emoji4] Save the money, save the time and become part of your community. We finally returned to our home district a few years ago after charters and private schools and I wish we’d been here all along! There really is just something about going to school with your neighbors and all working together to support the kids and teachers here. Sorry, I just had to give my sales pitch!!

Eta- my ds1 does a ton of activities at high school. I am grateful every day that it only takes me 5 minutes to get him! Sometimes all I’m doing is bringing him food or a change of clothes between activities too. The amount of extra driving I do for him in hs is more than at any point in his life.

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Can’t say this often enough. It’s just SO nice to be in your neighborhood schools. OP, you’re saying you want to return to work full time down the road and DH travel for work, thinking of going further for schools is just borrowing more trouble and headache for you! If you’re finding the 20 min drive tedious, then I can only imagine it gets worse with further out choices.

I just love my options. We live around the corner from our lower elementary school (pre-K thru 3rd) that we can walk, drive or ds1 catching the bus. Sick phone calls to get kiddo, forgot something, volunteer at the school. All within 5-10 min drive for me.

Ds1 will enter 3rd grade and last year at our lower elem school before moving up to another neighborhood school for 4/5th grade. That one is where we can’t walk since it’s a across county highway and several busy intersections, but it’s still only 10 min drive.

The options are really endless, so I would just enroll your kids in your nearest public and call it good. Unless that school gives you serious concerns beyond the standardized scores.


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[essnce629]

DS1-- private high school 3 miles away. Drive is about 10-15 minutes, all side streets, no freeway.

DS2-- public charter school 8 miles away. Drive in the morning is a reverse commute on the freeway and takes about 15 minutes. The drive back home in the morning though is with traffic and takes 30-40 minutes depending on which way Waze takes me (mostly side streets). Totally worth it though and we left our neighborhood public school that is walking distance from our house. I've been doing the drive daily, up to 3 times a day, for 8 years now with zero regrets.

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[ourbabygirl]

Thanks, Everyone, yeah, I'm more inclined to switch them to this new district, but DH doesn't want to since our old district is more highly rated, and he said if it isn't broke, why fix it? Our friends/ neighbors in our new neighborhood don't want to send their kids to the local middle and high school, so they're either doing private (older child starts 6th grade in the fall), or open-enrolling in our district. Carpooling with them would be great, but I don't know if they'll end up sending them to the same school as our kids.

Ours just finished 4th and 2nd, and have a lot of friends that they don't want to leave. Youngest will be in second year of preschool, so I could change to our local school for K, but don't know if it's worth having kids in two different districts.

The middle and high schools of both districts are about 20 minutes away, so it would just be a matter of whether kids can get on the bus from home or not (the bus drivers are kind of sketchy and the driver got into two accidents this year... there are a lot of parents that drive their kids even though they're in-district, I think it's just really hard to find decent bus drivers that will put up with the kids).

In our new neighborhood, there's really a mix of different schools that the kids go to (I've heard of at least 2-3 private schools, 3 different elementary schools within this new district, another elementary school in a different nearby district, and the school that we go to in our old district).

I wanted to try it at least one more year since the kids will be in the same school again (grades 3-5), and see how it goes. I also want to sub in the other districts next year and see how the schools feel before I possibly have them make the switch. There's also an immersion school that would be cool to send our youngest to, but it would mean driving in an opposite direction from the other schools, and the school day goes from about 7:30-2:15, which is kind of a no-go in my opinion. It's the reason I didn't push it more for my oldest, because it would've monopolized our schedule too much.

If you switched your kids' schools by choice (not necessity), and took them away from friends, how did you do it as painlessly as possible? :o

[SnuggleBuggles]

I bet you more people than you realize send their kids to their assigned public school. I admit, we are the only ones in our part of the neighborhood that do but it's not like the school sits vacant. ;) There are plenty of kids that we just didn't know just a smidge (aka 4 minutes away) that we didn't know. I admit a bit of a chip on my shoulder re. "good" schools. Our school doesn't rate well but that's just paper. In the actual schools, they do amazing things (with fewer resources than our rich neighboring schools). The data used to rank schools is just so flawed.

[hillview]

DS goes to a school for kids with dyslexia (he is in his final year!). We drive him about 30 mins each way. There are many kids who drive well over an hour. One child in his class drives 2 hours each way (that's right 4 hours a day of a commute for him and 8 for his parent). That said I think this is pretty extreme but given the nature of the school it makes sense.