Phonics/ Reading help for almost 5 year old DS

[daisy13]

My DS is going to be 5 in about a month. He goes to Pre K now. He used to be in a Montessori preschool and we moved him to a regular private preschool this year.

He is struggling with phonics. He is a very active and playful boy. Since he was a baby, he has always been more interested in running around, legos , playdoh - and vehicles. He is obsessed with vehicles.So when he comes home, all he wants to do is sit around with his legos or play with his trucks and cars. While I am glad he is a very active child and is fairly independent ( can entertain himself for hours ), his teacher has been expressing concern that he is falling behind. They are teaching "blending" ( blending vowels and consonants phonetically). He wont sit down with me or his teacher for even 10 min at a time to practice bending.

How can I get him interested? I have tried Bob books and other similar books. He WILL NOT sit down :( .I recently tried the "hooked on phonics" app- thats seems to hold his interested- probably because its on my phone which he will do anything to get a hold of :wink2:.

Any of you have a similar child? What did you do ? Any other phonics app that I can use? This might work the best.. In the short term, I guess its ok to use the phone as a bribe to get him interested..

[georgiegirl]

I wouldn’t push it at all. He’s not even 5 yet. Does he know his letter sounds? That’s really all I’d focus on now, not blends. Let him play and be a kid. He can learn blends next year in kindergarten. Only 1 out if my 3 kids was interested in reading before kindergarten.

ETA: there’s no point in forcing it. It’s like trying to teach a 9 mo old to walk. A very few can do it, but it’s pointless if they aren’t ready. Eventually he will be ready.

[SnuggleBuggles]

Totally agree with pp. I think your school needs to get with the times! My ds2 got “held back” at our private preschool for similar reasons. Guess what? When he started kindergarten, he was exactly where he needed to be in terms of early reading skills. When he was old enough, things clicked and he steadily progressed. He wasn’t in the top reading group but truly who cares? He was totally fine. It’s one of those things that until they’re ready it just won’t happen. And if it seems to, they might not have actually learned anything, merely memorized some stuff.
Your kiddo sounds totally perfect! It’s your school that has unrealistic expectations. I sent both of mine to the same school and there had been a huge academic shift in our 5 year gap. They said it was parent driven...lots of tiger parents that wanted more academics. I’d chosen it because it had been so chill and play based. It’s a shame that we aren’t letting kids be kids, imo.
All that to say don’t stress and don’t push it. Early readers, late readers...it all evens out.


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[KpbS]

Blending is NOT developmentally appropriate for preschool! Do not let the teacher worry you. This is a kindergarten skill that is taught after all of the letter sounds are mastered.

He sounds perfectly normal and healthy. Let him play and I would think of switching preschools for a better, play-based program.

[ourbabygirl]

ITA with PPs!

My DC will be 5 soon, and we just had the preschool conference. My first two were reading by this age (not from anything I did, they just figured it out on their own), but this child only knows about 15 letters, and definitely doesn't know any blending sounds! I think playing and emotional/ social skills are way more important than academics at this age! I heard somewhere that it all evens out by 3rd grade, and teachers can't really tell which kids were the early readers. So as much as I'd love for my kid to be reading right now, or at least knowing the whole alphabet, I'm not too worried.

Keep letting your kid be a kid and enjoy playing! :love5:

[doberbrat]

I like abcmouse for basic letter sound identification etc. Nothing more is needed for K. If he knows his letters & numbers and can recognize his name he's good. If he knows letter sounds, even better.

I would practice sitting still and not interrupting - I literally had "sitting still" practice time the summer before K but my kids didnt go to preK. 5min here and there will help. Try to let him enjoy this year!

[daisy13]

thanks for the reassurance folks. DS is a happy friendly happy kid. The teacher tells me that he feels bad- because all his friends are "blending" and have progressed to reading small CVC word books. DS also mentioned that he wants to " read life his bffname".
My DD was reading by the time she was 4- nothing that I did . She just naturally had the aptitude and picked it up at school on her own.

DS , on the other hand is advanced in physical skills- like he has been riding his bike without side wheels for a while now.

While I am in no hurry- I dont want him to feel left out or behind ..

Edited to add:- Yes. he does know all his letters, sounds and numbers..

[georgiegirl]

thanks for the reassurance folks. DS is a happy friendly happy kid. The teacher tells me that he feels bad- because all his friends are "blending" and have progressed to reading small CVC word books. DS also mentioned that he wants to " read life his bffname".
My DD was reading by the time she was 4- nothing that I did . She just naturally had the aptitude and picked it up at school on her own.

DS , on the other hand is advanced in physical skills- like he has been riding his bike without side wheels for a while now.

While I am in no hurry- I dont want him to feel left out or behind ..

Edited to add:- Yes. he does know all his letters, sounds and numbers..

Sounds like he’s perfect and his school has unrealistic expectations. I wouldn’t worry about it and actually discourage him from working on blends.


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[SnuggleBuggles]

Sounds like he’s perfect and his school has unrealistic expectations. I wouldn’t worry about it and actually discourage him from working on blends.


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Yep! This is a good moment to remind him (and yourself) not to compare abilities. Everyone has areas they are stronger in. And that’s ok. The school shouldn’t be using peer pressure to make him feel bad about something he can’t help!!


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[Melaine]

Everyone else beat me to it. He is doing wonderfully and perfectly aligned with what a four year old should be learning, experiencing, and playing. Pushing reading so early does NO favors for children or the classroom. To be honest, I question his teacher's expertise if she is coming to you with this as a concern. She just doesn't have a very educated view of preschool development and learning if she thinks he is "behind" in any way. I wouldn't worry about it one little bit.

[bisous]

Blending is NOT developmentally appropriate for preschool! Do not let the teacher worry you. This is a kindergarten skill that is taught after all of the letter sounds are mastered.

He sounds perfectly normal and healthy. Let him play and I would think of switching preschools for a better, play-based program.

Everybody else has given you good advice. I just wanted to emphasize that blending is not a preschool skill.

I also wanted to reassure you that just because he’s not as early a reader as some of his friends this doesn’t mean he can’t be a great reader. DS1 didn’t really “get” reading until he was early 1st grade but is a remarkable reader now (in 10th grade). I would stop drilling and just focus on loving to read books with you. That love of reading will carry him really far!

[Myira]

I also wanted to reassure you that just because he’s not as early a reader as some of his friends this doesn’t mean he can’t be a great reader. DS1 didn’t really “get” reading until he was early 1st grade but is a remarkable reader now (in 10th grade). I would stop drilling and just focus on loving to read books with you. That love of reading will carry him really far!

I could not agree more since my experience with my DD now in 6th grade is very similar. She started reading in 1st grade unlike many other kids that were reading before K. But she has always been a voracious reader ever since and reads at a high school level.
All we did at home in those early years was ensure there were a ton of books around and read to her a lot. I remember that at 2.5 she could recite entire board books just from memory, the very hungry caterpillar was pat down!


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[daisy13]

thank you folks, for the perspective. Its very hard to stay on course and not be influenced by peer ( parents) and teachers. I will set up a conference with his teachers to see how they handle this.

I dont want DS to lose his confidence by the constant badgering in every direction. For now, I am just going to let him be.. Thanks to you all for helping me get back on track :)

[petesgirl]

I wouldn’t push it at all. He’s not even 5 yet. Does he know his letter sounds? That’s really all I’d focus on now, not blends. Let him play and be a kid. He can learn blends next year in kindergarten. Only 1 out if my 3 kids was interested in reading before kindergarten.

ETA: there’s no point in forcing it. It’s like trying to teach a 9 mo old to walk. A very few can do it, but it’s pointless if they aren’t ready. Eventually he will be ready.

I agree 100%! Don't stress about it--he needs to play, that's the best way he learns right now.

[DualvansMommy]

thank you folks, for the perspective. Its very hard to stay on course and not be influenced by peer ( parents) and teachers. I will set up a conference with his teachers to see how they handle this.

I dont want DS to lose his confidence by the constant badgering in every direction. For now, I am just going to let him be.. Thanks to you all for helping me get back on track :)

Is he heading to kindergarten next year? I really dislike your preschool teachers for giving you the impression it’s something he needs to learn. It isn’t age appropriate at all!

When ds2 was in preK last year; they only focused on getting the kids to recognize letters, colors, numbers, how to sound out their names and write. It was more important to them that they’re learning to socialize and classroom norms than advanced learning. Play was hugely emphasized too. Now he’s in kindergarten and working on sounding out their phonics after Thanksgiving break. He’s almost 6 for reference.




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[carolinacool]

So, this is my slightly dissenting advice. What the preschool teacher is suggesting may not be age appropriate, however, if you have any concerns, keep a close eye on it. As a toddler and preschooler, DS seemed behind to me compared to his peers. He spoke later, didn't have as many words, etc. But since he knew his ABCs cold and could recognize his name,the advice I received was along the lines of "Don't worry," "He'll catch up," etc. And now he's almost 10, in fourth grade and continues to struggle with reading comprehension, some blended letter combinations and using the correct word.

All this to say, I wish I had listened to my gut a little bit more and gotten some interventions when he was younger. It just gets harder as they get older. I just wanted to share the perspective of someone where it just didn't "click." Or at least it hasn't so far.

[KpbS]

So, this is my slightly dissenting advice. What the preschool teacher is suggesting may not be age appropriate, however, if you have any concerns, keep a close eye on it. As a toddler and preschooler, DS seemed behind to me compared to his peers. He spoke later, didn't have as many words, etc. But since he knew his ABCs cold and could recognize his name,the advice I received was along the lines of "Don't worry," "He'll catch up," etc. And now he's almost 10, in fourth grade and continues to struggle with reading comprehension, some blended letter combinations and using the correct word.

All this to say, I wish I had listened to my gut a little bit more and gotten some interventions when he was younger. It just gets harder as they get older. I just wanted to share the perspective of someone where it just didn't "click." Or at least it hasn't so far.

This is good advice IMO for middle of the year 1st/2nd grade if your DC is struggling to learn to read. That is a timeframe where educational testing can better detect any learning differences.

[m4nash]

If he can identify rhyming words and make up rhymes, I wouldn’t worry about the inability to blend sounds at this point. However if he cannot rhyme I would personally be concerned. That was probably the biggest red flag at that age that my DD was dyslexic. She could memorize words, but didn’t learn to sound them out without lots of intervention from an Orton tutor.

[JBaxter]

One of mine was reading before K 3 were not. With DS4 we used the preschool prep dvd's as back ground on the TV and in the van when we were driving his brothers all over the place. They have one on blends if you want to just keep it on as background noise during the day https://www.amazon.com/Meet-Phonics-Blends-DVD-Animation/dp/B00565RXBI/ref=sr_1_3?crid=Z1K2FCNBSY1N&keywords=preschool+prep+blends&qid=1574123893&sprefix=preschool+prep+blend%2Caps%2C179&sr=8-3 BUT I agree with the others its NOT a preschool thing unless it clicks with your kiddo. I wouldn't push it at all.

[PZMommy]

Speaking as a kindergarten teacher, what they are asking your son to do is not developmentally appropriate. I’m thrilled if my students come in recognizing the letters, and if they know the sound that is a bonus. Do not push him to do something he developmentally is not ready to do. Let him be a kid and just play. If you can read to him a story a night that would be great.

[essnce629]

Blending is NOT developmentally appropriate for preschool! Do not let the teacher worry you. This is a kindergarten skill that is taught after all of the letter sounds are mastered.

He sounds perfectly normal and healthy. Let him play and I would think of switching preschools for a better, play-based program.

100% this [emoji1483]

I would also seriously consider switching schools. I wouldn't want him to feel burned out before even getting to kindergarten!

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[AnnieW625]

My Dd1 had no interest in reading other than reading a book at night with a parent and tbh she memorized them vs. actually reading until about 1/2 way through Kindergarten and then all of a sudden she started reading. We didn’t push it at all and she did it.

My Dd2 on the other hand has some delays in reading and I did the same thing as I did with Dd1....I didn’t push it. When she was only comfortable reading I Can Read Level 1 or Preschool level books by the end of Kindergarten I knew maybe she had some difficulties there so I enrolled her in Kumon, which got her by the start of 3rd grade to a 3rd grade level (although we honestly stopped because the worksheets became very confusing.....some are old Japanese stories translated into English and became very hard for her to follow....I had heard this from other parents as well), but even now in 4th grade I think there is something else going on there with her being at below grade level and not having an interest in reading grade level books and books without pictures so we are having her tested next month for learning disabilities.

You as a parent know your child and use your gut. I do wish I had started DD2 at Kumon earlier though but mainly because the pre school program is t so much word recognition but handwriting as well and DD2 has pretty bad handwriting that needs help as well and I can’t get her to complete the Handwriting Without Tears books I bought her and hope that she actually learns to write using the cursive they are being taught this year in 4th grade.


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[daisy13]

Thank you everyone for chiming in on both sides of the argument.Thanks to the PP who recommended the Phonics video. I found it on Prime Video and DS loves it already! My gut feeling is that- he is just too playful and doesn't want to sit down to make the effort . He has always been this way- I start to worry about each stage of his development and he just suddenly surprises me one day.

So for now- I will continue reading to him and letting him play with phonics apps...

His teacher's concern was more of- I see him feeling bad because DS's BFFs are now reading and pick up small books to read in class. She wanted me to be aware, if he said anything at home and maybe encourage him to keep trying and reading..

[SnuggleBuggles]

Thank you everyone for chiming in on both sides of the argument.Thanks to the PP who recommended the Phonics video. I found it on Prime Video and DS loves it already! My gut feeling is that- he is just too playful and doesn't want to sit down to make the effort . He has always been this way- I start to worry about each stage of his development and he just suddenly surprises me one day.

So for now- I will continue reading to him and letting him play with phonics apps...

His teacher's concern was more of- I see him feeling bad because DS's BFFs are now reading and pick up small books to read in class. She wanted me to be aware, if he said anything at home and maybe encourage him to keep trying and reading..

But how much does he really care and how much is he being made to care? Teacher: “Johnny, don’t you wish you were able to read a book like Sam does?” Johnny: shrug [or something that might be read as confirmation] That’s not the same as Johnny going up to his teacher and saying, “I’m sad because Sam can read and I can’t”. If ds is as you describe and happily playing, I can’t imagine he really cares. Give some thought about where the pressure is really coming from. Even if he is the one initiating it, he still might not be able to learn at this age and that’s ok!! Don’t assume he’s lazy. His brain is learning other new, great stuff right now instead.


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[petesgirl]

Thank you everyone for chiming in on both sides of the argument.Thanks to the PP who recommended the Phonics video. I found it on Prime Video and DS loves it already! My gut feeling is that- he is just too playful and doesn't want to sit down to make the effort . He has always been this way- I start to worry about each stage of his development and he just suddenly surprises me one day.

So for now- I will continue reading to him and letting him play with phonics apps...

His teacher's concern was more of- I see him feeling bad because DS's BFFs are now reading and pick up small books to read in class. She wanted me to be aware, if he said anything at home and maybe encourage him to keep trying and reading..

If he sees other kids reading books in class and wants to join in, he could pick up a book and look through the pictures. That is 'reading' also. He can look at the words and pick out letters he knows. Just because he can't blend sounds doesn't mean he can't enjoy books on his own.

[IansMom]

You could try “Happy Phonics.” It’s a phonics based program for “active” kids. It’s hands-on and incorporates a lot of games.