Tell me about socialization for high schoolers

[mommy111]

DN is a sophomore in high school and lives with us. We’re trying to figure out what is appropriate and where you guys set limits for what kids can do or not do. She, for example, wants to watch movies with friends (oK occasionally, as long as work is done), followed by lunch. Hang out at mall (not OK, I never quite understood why anyone would want to hang out at a mall). My biggest issue is also for someone who wants to be competitive in school, how much time she can spend doing all this. Previously, with extensive social activity, her grades have fallen, and she can’t afford that to happen in high school. Quite frankly, she doesn’t have a rich family that can take care of her, her parents are posted overseas this year and we all do well but it’s with everyone working and working hard. Also, parents are conservative so no boy socializing. What are your limits for your DC? Are we being unreasonable?
Especially looking for opinions from the more conservative parents

[SnuggleBuggles]

Just saw your last line after I hit reply. I don’t qualify as a conservative parent. [emoji6] Bring on the socializing! Hanging out at the mall? Sure! Where would you rather they hang out? You can probably get in less trouble at the mall than some other places (like a house without parents...).
It sounds like you’re trying to head off trouble but I think you need to loosen the reigns and let them prove they can have some freedom and normal kid fun!
If you set too many rules and restrictions unnecessarily you just set yourself up for trouble. My teen is great at managing his school work and will decline invites if he needs to do it. I trust him. So, we have been given no reason to ever decline his requests to socialize. And we don’t really micromanage the where, who, when...
Your dn might be really good now at balancing work and fun. Don’t assume that because she had grade problems before that she will again. Kids change a lot in their teen years!
Does she do any school activities? I would encourage that if she isn’t.



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[KrisM]

My 10th grader doesn't socialize like that much. He is involved in a fair amount of activities and hangs out with those kids before/after those things. Yesterday, he had a robotics team meeting at 6:30 and a group of his friends stayed after school until the meeting. He does sometimes meet for a movie and lunch somewhere. No mall, but it's not really close enough that I'd want to drop them off there either. I'd also have to hang out at the mall.

My son wants to well in school and has homework many nights. He's pretty good at turning things down if he knows he has work to do.

[Octobermommy]

I think it’s important to realize that she is still a child. Yes, school is important & responsibilities are important but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be able to be a child & hang out & have fun with friends. If grades are very important to her bc of
College acceptance guidelines or possible scholarships that is an important responsibility but it’s not an all or nothing predicament. Teaching her that we have choices to make & sometimes that choice is to buckle down & do the work but it’s just as important to be able to take a break , socialize with friends, have a place where she belongs , if simply for mental health. I just don’t believe that work , work, work, responsibility, responsibility, responsibility is healthy for anyone , let alone a 15 year old.

Regarding hanging out at the Mail- Just bc you never understood it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I think we need to put ourselves in their shoes sometimes - I’m sure there was something your parents didn’t understand you enjoying but you did anyways. I just saw the Mister Rogers movie. It said we would do better if we remembered when we were children. That struck me!

The no hanging out with boys is something that I doubt anyone will change your or her parents minds about but I think it has more to do with her actual personality how she would be hanging out with boys. My 15 yr old dd best friend is a boy & she hangs out with a friend group that is mixed. I think that’s healthy & barring something that is normal isn’t going to get you very far IMO. Teaching how to handle situations now while she has you to help guide her might be more beneficial than it being forbidden. What will she choose when she is in college without direct supervision without any practice of how to handle herself?

Have you talked to her about her goals? She may surprise you & working with her to help her navigate her goals instead of dictating how she should do things will probably work out better in the long run.

Good luck. 15 yr olds aren’t easy!

[SnuggleBuggles]

I think it’s important to realize that she is still a child. Yes, school is important & responsibilities are important but that doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be able to be a child & hang out & have fun with friends. If grades are very important to her bc of
College acceptance guidelines or possible scholarships that is an important responsibility but it’s not an all or nothing predicament. Teaching her that we have choices to make & sometimes that choice is to buckle down & do the work but it’s just as important to be able to take a break , socialize with friends, have a place where she belongs , if simply for mental health. I just don’t believe that work , work, work, responsibility, responsibility, responsibility is healthy for anyone , let alone a 15 year old.

Regarding hanging out at the Mail- Just bc you never understood it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I think we need to put ourselves in their shoes sometimes - I’m sure there was something your parents didn’t understand you enjoying but you did anyways. I just saw the Mister Rogers movie. It said we would do better if we remembered when we were children. That struck me!

The no hanging out with boys is something that I doubt anyone will change your or her parents minds about but I think it has more to do with her actual personality how she would be hanging out with boys. My 15 yr old dd best friend is a boy & she hangs out with a friend group that is mixed. I think that’s healthy & barring something that is normal isn’t going to get you very far IMO. Teaching how to handle situations now while she has you to help guide her might be more beneficial than it being forbidden. What will she choose when she is in college without direct supervision without any practice of how to handle herself?

Have you talked to her about her goals? She may surprise you & working with her to help her navigate her goals instead of dictating how she should do things will probably work out better in the long run.

Good luck. 15 yr olds aren’t easy!

Wish I'd waited to post because that all gets a big :yeahthat:

Ds1's friend group is co-ed. I think it has been invaluable that he hangs out with girls as friends. They give him advice and insight that a group of just guys might not be awesome at. :)

Hanging out at the mall...you go with your friends, maybe run into other friends, maybe try on clothes, get snacks,...it's a totally normal thing to do.

I just think that when parents forbid stuff outright that they are setting off an unnecessary power struggle. And, cliche as it is, in ds1's social group the kids with the most rules from their parents have rebelled, lied to their parents and otherwise got around the heavy handed restrictions. That's just not the dynamic I want.

[AnnieW625]

She needs to feel included because her parents are gone and she is making up for that by socializing more outside of home. I also bet her grades have dipped because her parents are gone. Do her parents have a clue that her grades have dropped? I would mention it to them so they can talk to her about it. I think you have a fine line here....you have to be her guardian and set some ground rules, but you also have to know that her parents are still her parents so you might get some pushback if you push boundaries and start limiting things she was able to handle when her parents were there.

I don’t have an issue hanging out at the mall. I grew up in a city with 30k people and there honestly wasn’t sh!t to do (outside of school sponsored activities, and 4-H, Girl Scouts, or dance classes, etc.) without driving 30+ miles to Sacramento or 90+ miles to Tahoe or San Francisco (which you couldn’t do after school) and even those of us with cars rarely did that so we hung out at the movies and the mall, and those of us who had trucks hung out in the boonies and did god knows what in the mud with the trucks especially after it rained. Not everyone lives in the boonies, but even now living in the land of excess (suburban Los Angeles) I have no issue dropping off my 13 year old at the mall or the movies as long as she is with friends and the mall is safe. Now we have told her she needs to keep her grades up and let us know if she is having a particular problem with a subject. She will be a freshman in high school next year and living in a whole new area next year so I will be very interested in her levels of socialization next year as well.

Good luck and lots of hugs coming your way and I am sure your niece is happy to be with you and is grateful to have a nice home while her parents are stationed aboard.


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[JBaxter]

I have a 10th grade boy but mall hang out picking up a friend and going to the soccer field after school clubs movies hes on group chats all the time at home sometimes is social somtimes hes giving or getting school help. He has friend girls as much as friend boys but no actual romantic interests. Unless his grades suffer I let him self regulate Hes a pretty serious student ( last quarter he had a 5.0) Unless he breaks my trust I good with him self regulating My parents were pretty strict and conservative and it back fired on them BIG TIME with me. I dont keep the parental leash short and we have a really open relationship and he shares a lot with us My older 2 were also that way.

[westwoodmom04]

My high schooler is an excellent student, plays multiple sports, and still has plenty of time to hang out with her friends, including going to the mall pretty much every weekend. Kids that age really need time with their friends. As long as other responsibilities are being met, I don’t restrict the amount of time my kids spend with friends.

[Globetrotter]

I’m coming at this from the perspective of someone who was raised in a strict conservative Immigrant family. Absolutely no boys, Though I was very friendly with boys at school, in a completely platonic way. No dances, though I did go once with a girlfriend to see what it was like, Without telling them, and my mom came to pick me up! I wasn’t allowed to go to the mall, but somehow I was allowed to go to sleepovers with a couple of friends, so I would go to the mall then LOL I wasn’t allowed to see movies with friends until maybe 11th grade, and then it was a close family friend’s daughter. The weirdest thing is, I was allowed to go with friends to their lake house, though of course their parents were there. So my parents had very strange boundaries, IMO.
I had a palestinian friend whose family was even stricter, and we never saw each other outside of school. Not even once!
Needless to say, as soon as I went to college I started hanging out at the mall, and the rest is history :-) It’s a fun place for kids to hang out and eat and do windowshopping. It’s generally safer than most other places.

As a parent myself, I started letting the kids hang out at the mall etc. in middle school, but they are both very responsible students. I wouldn’t put too many restrictions, even if she isn’t a perfect student, because first of all it will hamper her social life if she’s not allowed to do things that her peers are allowed to do. I’m not talking about going to wild parties… I’m talking about going to the mall and movies and normal stuff like that. Also, if she’s motivated she might just sneak around and do stuff anyway, so I would rather know about it.

I think one of the main things you need to watch out for is who does she hang out with? Meet those people if you can, though it gets to be difficult in high school. invite them over so you can meet them. Let her go out once or twice on the weekends, and maybe make exceptions at other times if she’s able to maintain her grades.
DD Used to hang out with her friends And she had a very close knit circle, but they were busy so it didn’t happen as often as she would like – she commented that it was never like it was portrayed in nickelodeon shows! :-)
as they got older and started driving, they would meet up for boba or shopping, etc.. I would love for DS to have an active social life, but I’ve realized his social life involves hanging out with his academic teammates – they have a great time joking around, even though they are Practicing (They consider It fun lol).
otherwise, he constantly texts with school friends and they only meet at school, And the only friends he meets with are kids of family friends who go to different schools.
I almost fainted when his School friends got it together and went to an amusement park In the summer. And another kid has invited him over a couple of times but only right after finals… Kids around here are obsessed with studying.

[niccig]

Has she given any reason to not be trusted? If not, then I have no issues with hanging out at the mall or going to the movies. That’s all pretty innocent. It’s not a night party at someone’s house without parents there. Give her some freedom to socialize with peers with understanding that boundaries will be put in place if schoolwork suffers or does something irresponsible.

DS is a freshman and he has more freedom than when in middle school and he’ll get more as he shows us he can manage what he has now.


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[mommy111]

Aiyy, it is very hard to try to parent someone else's kids
She over-socialized and her grades dropped while she was with her parents, so I'm worried about this now that she is with me.....my kids never wanted to hang out at the mall. Maybe I am being too cautious, it sounds harmless enough, maybe?

[SnuggleBuggles]

Aiyy, it is very hard to try to parent someone else's kids
She over-socialized and her grades dropped while she was with her parents, so I'm worried about this now that she is with me.....my kids never wanted to hang out at the mall. Maybe I am being too cautious, it sounds harmless enough, maybe?

Yes, you are being overly cautious. :hug5:Loosen the reigns and see what happens. You could be pleasantly surprised!

[DualvansMommy]

Aiyy, it is very hard to try to parent someone else's kids
She over-socialized and her grades dropped while she was with her parents, so I'm worried about this now that she is with me.....my kids never wanted to hang out at the mall. Maybe I am being too cautious, it sounds harmless enough, maybe?

Are you sure the drop in grades is from over socialization though? It sounds like she’s at different area from her usual home area, to live with you? At any rate, change is hard for kids that age. So the drop may be something more to do with the changes in her life.

Imo, as long you can get her to do school work, obligations and other commitments I don’t see the harm in hanging out at the mall. Saying that as a mom of 2 young kids, but the HS they’ll feed into from middle school is walkable to the mall. So hanging out at mall after school or downtown town is very popular activity in my town. I prefer to have kids hang at the mall than downtown, less variables to worry about in that scenario.


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[mommy111]

Are you sure the drop in grades is from over socialization though? It sounds like she’s at different area from her usual home area, to live with you? At any rate, change is hard for kids that age. So the drop may be something more to do with the changes in her life.

Imo, as long you can get her to do school work, obligations and other commitments I don’t see the harm in hanging out at the mall. Saying that as a mom of 2 young kids, but the HS they’ll feed into from middle school is walkable to the mall. So hanging out at mall after school or downtown town is very popular activity in my town. I prefer to have kids hang at the mall than downtown, less variables to worry about in that scenario.


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Drop in grades was when she was with her parents in her own school (the same school as now, hasn't moved areas). And it was definitely getting pulled into social situations that she shouldn't have been in. But I guess mall etc are crowded safe-er spaces, as someone pointed out, better than someone's home which is not something that I thought about

[SnuggleBuggles]

Even though the mall might be safe-er, don't discourage hanging out at other people's houses. Most weekends my ds1 is over at his friend's house hanging around their fire pit. Parents inside with occasional checks. I have zero concerns with that sort of social activity. :)

[bisous]

My high schooler is an excellent student, plays multiple sports, and still has plenty of time to hang out with her friends, including going to the mall pretty much every weekend. Kids that age really need time with their friends. As long as other responsibilities are being met, I don’t restrict the amount of time my kids spend with friends.

Except for the sports thing, that is my DS too. I have no problem with hanging out (I actually encourage it) if responsibilities are met. I feel like a healthy social life is motivating and can be an asset for a teenager. I think I would be considered conservative on this board. Though I don’t understand not wanting to go to the mall? I encourage my high school not to date too seriously in HS but so far he’s not super interested. I would rather my kids do IRL socializing than online socializing. I feel like the former teaches useful skills and can be more easily monitored.

[StantonHyde]

I have a DD freshman and DS sophomore. DS did not socialize last year-too worried about his grades. This year he is a school ambassador and he does activities with friends. He drives so things are a little different for him. For DD-she has a mixed friend group. She hangs out with the big group 1-2 times a month and people from the group a couple times a month as well. They go to the mall, go to a neighborhood shopping area, go to parks, and they all also come here. I am NOT the cool mom. But we are a stable, welcoming family. I don't mind that they are all a little odd and can get loud. They all have decent manners and they don't make messes. I buy pizza for dinner or lunch, they can bake/cook, etc. So they like hanging out here. I don't know these other friends and some that I do know, I don't want her at their houses (an uncle and his daughter live with one friend-not ok with me or there are parents who smoke and I don't need her in those houses). So I open my house to the group. I usually will drop her off somewhere--a park or shopping area. I require that she text me if she changes locations (they walk or take public transit somewhere). I put a time limit on it--but she can be gone from noon to five. Her homework has to be done or there is a plan to get it done. Her grades are excellent. She doesn't socialize during the week much at all. This is all on weekends and right now she doesn't have a ton of weekend homework. I have to know who she is with--I have met all of her friends. And we started talking about drug/alcohol use and staying safe a long time ago. I just keep giving her reminders. As for no boys--I assume you know the niece isn't gay or bi? Because if she is, then girls only socializing also has complications. I go by--Trust but verify. You can track her through her iPhone. It isn't uncommon for kids' grades to fall during this age because of over socializing. They are trying to figure things out. I would spend more time with her doing her homework. My kids do their homework in the kitchen/family room area and DH and I are there to supervise/help out. I review any written essay-type assignments to make sure they are gramatically correct. I review what homework they have and confirm with them that it is done--science work sheet, etc. But I don't check over all of it. I can check my children's grades online--so I can see every assignment graded. I do this once a week with them to check on their progress. If they did poorly on an assignment, we talk about it--they know why they didn't do well. If they don't understand something, I have them bring it home and DH or I will talk it over with them so they can understand it. I have also used tutors for both kids.

I would spend more time supporting your niece with her homework and put in some good boundaries on socializing and I am wiling to bet her grades improve.

[mommy111]

Yes, you are being overly cautious. :hug5:Loosen the reigns and see what happens. You could be pleasantly surprised!
Thank you! Maybe I should :)

[jgenie]

Has she given any reason to not be trusted? If not, then I have no issues with hanging out at the mall or going to the movies. That’s all pretty innocent. It’s not a night party at someone’s house without parents there. Give her some freedom to socialize with peers with understanding that boundaries will be put in place if schoolwork suffers or does something irresponsible.

DS is a freshman and he has more freedom than when in middle school and he’ll get more as he shows us he can manage what he has now.


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Oh my - I can’t believe your DS is in high school. Time sure does fly by!

[MMMommy]

My DDs like going to the mall with their friends. They eat lunch, shop, etc for a few hours, and then I pick them back up. They were doing that from 7th grade and up. I think that is actually a pretty safe social outing. I'm okay with the movies during the day too.

[essnce629]

Just saw your last line after I hit reply. I don’t qualify as a conservative parent. [emoji6] Bring on the socializing! Hanging out at the mall? Sure! Where would you rather they hang out? You can probably get in less trouble at the mall than some other places (like a house without parents...).
It sounds like you’re trying to head off trouble but I think you need to loosen the reigns and let them prove they can have some freedom and normal kid fun!
If you set too many rules and restrictions unnecessarily you just set yourself up for trouble. My teen is great at managing his school work and will decline invites if he needs to do it. I trust him. So, we have been given no reason to ever decline his requests to socialize. And we don’t really micromanage the where, who, when...
Your dn might be really good now at balancing work and fun. Don’t assume that because she had grade problems before that she will again. Kids change a lot in their teen years!
Does she do any school activities? I would encourage that if she isn’t.



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This [emoji1483]

I have an 11th grader who doesn't like to hang out at the mall anymore, but used to all the time in middle school when most of his friends were girls. We live 3 blocks from our mall and I now allow 10 year old DS2 to walk there and hang out on his own! He likes to hit up all the candy shops!

DS1 is 16 and now meets up with his friends mostly at the video gaming lounge above the local bowling alley. They play video games and then usually go get food somewhere.

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[Percycat]

I agree with others. My daughter is in 9th grade. She went to 5 different schools for elementary/middle, so I am very thankful she has a healthy social life. I am constantly asking about the girls she is friending to make sure they are making the same types of choices with respect to school/friendships/behavior as i would like my daughter to make as a confirmation that my daughter is making good choices. We also have online access to my daughter's grades and hold her accountable when she misses or does poorly on an assignment.

I don't know the dynamics of your relationship and if your DN is accepting you in a parent role while her parents are gone. If so, perhaps you can let her know you want to monitor her grades (talk to the school to get access) and help her become accountable for her academic performance. This can open up conversations about how she needs to make good choices in how she spends her time and who she spends it with. It may also help you be more comfortable with her normal socialization.

As for the mall-- I think it is a pretty safe place and fun for kids to practice independence.

[mommy111]

I have a DD freshman and DS sophomore. DS did not socialize last year-too worried about his grades. This year he is a school ambassador and he does activities with friends. He drives so things are a little different for him. For DD-she has a mixed friend group. She hangs out with the big group 1-2 times a month and people from the group a couple times a month as well. They go to the mall, go to a neighborhood shopping area, go to parks, and they all also come here. I am NOT the cool mom. But we are a stable, welcoming family. I don't mind that they are all a little odd and can get loud. They all have decent manners and they don't make messes. I buy pizza for dinner or lunch, they can bake/cook, etc. So they like hanging out here. I don't know these other friends and some that I do know, I don't want her at their houses (an uncle and his daughter live with one friend-not ok with me or there are parents who smoke and I don't need her in those houses). So I open my house to the group. I usually will drop her off somewhere--a park or shopping area. I require that she text me if she changes locations (they walk or take public transit somewhere). I put a time limit on it--but she can be gone from noon to five. Her homework has to be done or there is a plan to get it done. Her grades are excellent. She doesn't socialize during the week much at all. This is all on weekends and right now she doesn't have a ton of weekend homework. I have to know who she is with--I have met all of her friends. And we started talking about drug/alcohol use and staying safe a long time ago. I just keep giving her reminders. As for no boys--I assume you know the niece isn't gay or bi? Because if she is, then girls only socializing also has complications. I go by--Trust but verify. You can track her through her iPhone. It isn't uncommon for kids' grades to fall during this age because of over socializing. They are trying to figure things out. I would spend more time with her doing her homework. My kids do their homework in the kitchen/family room area and DH and I are there to supervise/help out. I review any written essay-type assignments to make sure they are gramatically correct. I review what homework they have and confirm with them that it is done--science work sheet, etc. But I don't check over all of it. I can check my children's grades online--so I can see every assignment graded. I do this once a week with them to check on their progress. If they did poorly on an assignment, we talk about it--they know why they didn't do well. If they don't understand something, I have them bring it home and DH or I will talk it over with them so they can understand it. I have also used tutors for both kids.

I would spend more time supporting your niece with her homework and put in some good boundaries on socializing and I am wiling to bet her grades improve.
Thank you! This was very thoughtful and very helpful. I almost feel intrusive monitoring her grades weekly, but that is perhaps what I should be doing and perhaps I would feel more confident that way as well as catch problems earlier. Really insightful!!

[JBaxter]

Thank you! This was very thoughtful and very helpful. I almost feel intrusive monitoring her grades weekly, but that is perhaps what I should be doing and perhaps I would feel more confident that way as well as catch problems earlier. Really insightful!!

We have a portal and I check on both the boys grades at least weekly if not more often. As I said DS3 is an excellent student but I can tie his grumpy moods to not doing well on tests. Check away I also monitor phone and internet randomly. Its just the way it is. He started driving so I my start random urine tests for any drugs ... not that I suspect but it keeps him on the straight and narrow knowing at anytime I can and will. You can get urine dip tests on amazon. Im not sneaky he knows I'll do it

[smilequeen]

I’m definitely not conservative (I actually think the no boy socializing thing is a harmful rule) so maybe this is useless...but the mall is a very common place to meet up. DS occasionally meets friends there or they hang out as a group at someone’s house. For the mall, he needs to keep his phone and I have Life 360 on it. While it would not stop me from giving my son this age appropriate freedom, I reiterate rules about strangers and keeping his phone on. For friends houses, My rule is that a parent has to be home and I need to meet them the first time. He does social media/FaceTime/etc. (again, I’m not socially conservative at all).

Honestly, my Freshman is on a competitive club hockey team AND HS Varsity hockey. He keeps all A’s. We travel a lot for sports. He has so little time to socialize that I try to be laid back. I want him to be a normal kid too.

The parent portal for grades is kind of a love/hate thing for me. I feel like it makes it too easy to micromanage but I also like that you can catch issues early. If something is out of the ordinary, we talk but I’m not going to freak out about one bad quiz.

[niccig]

Oh my - I can’t believe your DS is in high school. Time sure does fly by!

It sure does. Many of the BBB kids are getting older!


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[mom2binsd]

Disclaimer, I am not a conservative at all. My DD is 16, a Jr, she has the same boyfriend since the end of 8th grade, he is sweet and I am also good friends with his parents/extended family now. She is an honor student, is on swim team at high school, plays hockey and lacrosse. I rarely check her grades, she is self motivated and very driven and independent.

If the local kids go to the mall and she isn't allowed she may be left out, which can be pretty devastating. Can you offer to have her friends over? Get to know the kids? Does she participate in activities like sports, attend school basketball games etc, does she have social media, at that age so much is done via groupchats.

With my DD socially she has quite a few friends, they are either at sport games, each other's houses, getting food, they go to our crappy mall sometimes. Most of my friends kids of the same age do tbe same. They hang out with a group, boys and girls. I don't understand not allowing any socializing with the other sex, seems like it might backfire.

My parents never micromanaged my life and I try not to do that either.

I occasionally monitor social media (I am on Facebook and snapchat with her) and have life 360.

Kids need to develop responsibility and if she needs some guidance maybe try to find a balance and ask her what she needs help with.

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[TwinFoxes]

Regarding hanging out at the Mail- Just bc you never understood it doesn’t mean it’s wrong. I think we need to put ourselves in their shoes sometimes - I’m sure there was something your parents didn’t understand you enjoying but you did anyways. I just saw the Mister Rogers movie. It said we would do better if we remembered when we were children. That struck me!



There are a lot of things I agree with in this thread, but this is the one that really leaped out at me. It makes zero sense to me that just because you don't enjoy something you should forbid the kids you're in charge of from doing it. If something was inherently dangerous I'd get it. Honestly, of the things kids do these days, a mall seems kind of quaint. Kids around here don't hang at malls very much anymore, and parents actually bemoan that.

[mommy111]

There are a lot of things I agree with in this thread, but this is the one that really leaped out at me. It makes zero sense to me that just because you don't enjoy something you should forbid the kids you're in charge of from doing it. If something was inherently dangerous I'd get it. Honestly, of the things kids do these days, a mall seems kind of quaint. Kids around here don't hang at malls very much anymore, and parents actually bemoan that.
Just so that you understand that I’m not trying to be overbearing aunt here, re mall visits some girls from the class below DN were recently posting lingerie photos online from the VS dressing room. The lingerie photos are what they are but the level of sheer stupidity that it takes to post these online from your accounts is crazy.
In another incident, a classmate of DN’s parents were recently warned that she was communicating online with a pedophile thinking he was a classmate.
So part of the limits are trying to figure out the best balance between safety and independence. And as Beth pointed out above, a mall is probably not the worst of places given that there are both other people and security around